Busy in Oxford

I'm in Oxford! And that is why I haven't been posting. I've been busy. Two full days of induction into the Sociology department and lots of work and reading and things to sort out already. Phew, good thing it's almost dinner time.

I've settled into college well and made myself be a little bit sociable, which has been good. Freshers' week is loads different this time round in that there seem to be fewer big opportunities to get everyone together, but then on the other hand it doesn't matter as much to try and fit in and meet everyone etc. People are much more relaxed and so we can just get on with things.

I've met two of my flatmates, who seem nice although I hardly know anything about them at all. Have also met lots of people from my course (there are 28 doing the MSc this year, which is loads!) Some of them are super keen and some of them are super shocked by all the stuff they've been overloaded with. My respect for international students continues to grow, especially those who come from a country where English isn't the first language - how brave and dramatic to come over here! I'm really glad to be returning to Oxford because loads of things are already much easier (you forget how much you've absorbed over the years, and also how nice it is to have a supportive family and people you already know and who will help you out over here). Hopefully all those people will settle in and be ok here too.

What else? Last week was ace, some good educational fun at MyBnk, and some great dinners too. I had loooooads of curry, but it was nice to eat it with X in Brick Lane, and also to see my maths department again (they're all just the same so it was awesome to see them, but then after that I did really miss school, especially after having a cheeky pint with Rosie). Saw the girls on Friday night too, which was good fun, but they are all fed up with work and looking to change jobs etc. It's the quarter-life crisis that seems to be hitting them all at the moment. I'm more than glad not to be in the city, that's for sure. Had a mini bit of drama on Friday night with X after seeing Mohs in the morning and realising I have quite a few things I need to sort out and be better about. Am still mostly ignoring it, but I reckon this year will sort a lot of things out and then I will have to be brave and just get on with it.

Right, it's dinner time and then we have a little pub quiz, and I wanna crack on with some work too because I'll be back in London later this week, so will sign off now. Hope all is well with you.

Inspection Time

Inspection time. Tomorrow and Thursday. Drama.

Am prepared. I think. Hope they don't see my Y10 lessons, they are distinctly average. My Y9 and Y8 classes should be good though. Haven't planned the PSHE lesson yet, not quite sure what we're doing for it. Hmmm.

Off school today, there goes my attendance target. Have a shocking sore throat + a cold, hope it doesn't become the flu, although I am quite achy. Think I may be a bit exhausted too, half-term was hardcore and kept going till Monday morning, so haven't had much rest. Totally worth it though.

Spurs are Carling Cup winners! Yay! Can't believe the Spurs turn around over the last few seasons, we are really getting somewhere, or so it feels.

What else? Told my friends a secret today and they were good about it. I like that.

Wish me luck, time for an early bed.

Busy Weekend of Birthdays

I am feeling pretty good. This is despite going back to bed at 11am with a 6/10 hangover. Two days in a row of going back to bed before midday is surely a sign that I'm still a student.

So why do I feel good? Because I did my lesson planning yesterday, excellent! Lesson planning Sundays is a thing of a past, I am going to try and do it on Saturday, or even in the week itself, so that I feel like I have an actual day off. That's how I feel today, and it's good. Don't get me wrong, my To Do list has 16 things on it, but whatever. I have to mark my Y12 essays and make a profile template for my tutor group, so obviously I am messing about online instead.

I am not repeating last night again. I tried (and kinda succeeded) in attending three birthdays, but it was such a stress and drama, all that moving around and rushing and being late and downing drinks, that in future it would probably be better just to put in a proper appearance at one. I feel the worst about the first birthday because I got lost and was almost 45 minutes late, then grabbed some starters and had to run. I think I will call her to make up for a "snatch and grab". The other two were more chilled, in that by that time I had gotten used to being late and stressed, so I just got over it and enjoyed them. Was good to see some school people, some TFers, and most definitely my buddies from university. The third birthday, where I spent the most time, was just awesome, a proper reunion of maybe forty people, was great! I loved chattering to them all, and in fact doing some quite good banter on the one hand, and some serious deep chatter with a few in particular on the other hand.

But then the downside. I had a shocking amount to drink. Luckily mostly it was white wine (a bottle and a half over the night) but also some pear cider, and here's the real killer, about four shots of Jack Daniel's. Hence at 1am when I decided I should head home, I was half-cut and confident that I would make it home, despite having a minimum understanding of where I was and how I was getting there. I lost someone along the way, and then decided to get on a random night bus, which I got off when I realised I was in Leyton, thinking it'd be easy to get home from there. Errr. No. Luckily I have a credit card, so I just hailed a black cab and paid a lot to make it back. So a tiny bit of sense in me. But a kinda waste of money since if I'd been organised (and not so drunk) then my trusty night bus coulda got me back. Worse than the money though, I think I am more cross with my cavalier attitude, which is just dangerous. Being like that and wandering around at night is just silly, I need to be more responsible.

What else? I can't remember if I mentioned the birthday on Friday night, which was lovely and far more sensible. It was another TFer's drinks, which was super funny in that she is the most cynical and critical person I know, thus making me over-the-top optimistic just to wind her up. Met her ex-boyfriend for the first time, and he is a banter-king, with the kind of silly tangential banter that I really like. That said, generally across the weekend I found that it was nice to be able to chatter away to boys without any hidden agenda. One of my friends was complaining about how girls just lead him on when they have no intention of getting anywhere with him, which I'm probably guilty of, but this weekend I'd like to think I didn't do that, even with my ridiculous top!

Here's my horoscope, you can find yours by clicking here and then typing in your star sign into the search box.

Your problem isn’t recognising that you must review arrangements; it is striking a balance between delving into these enough to find out what is likely to work in the future and obsessing about details. Obviously, you’ll want to do what you can to preserve the plans and relationships you’ve worked hard to create. But, between now and the month’s close, changes around you turn some of these into burdens. Your instincts are already telling you which they are. Now you need the courage to unload them.

I have no instincts about these burdens. Except drinking. Hmm.

And finally, a good article about bipolar, and a good article on a sleep exhibition in London. SO going there soon!

Messages and Day 1

29 school days to half-term. I'm not counting down, that's just a statement of fact.

Today went remarkably well, I think perhaps because I maintained a smile on my face. And also because I have a co-tutor for my crazy ones at the moment, which means between us we can just about keep on top of them. Just.

Some good things:

• The kids were actually really well behaved and glad to be back
• My new classroom looks ace
• I managed to plan most of my lessons in a blitz at home after school
  
• I don't have a class of 30 year 7s after all, only 28, so I'm only missing two of them
• This means that I can have seven tables of four and get rid of the extra table that made the table of six (you probably won't care about that, but layout is important to me)
• I got an excellent amount of sleep last night and am determined to repeat the feat tonight
• I feel neither low nor high, just normal, woo!
  

Some things that could have been better:

• During the fire drill three of my kids started squawking and poking each other, right in front of the senior teachers, which made me look like a muppet
• Some kids (not mine, some others) have already graffitied parts of the toilet and outer wall (losers)
• I have been given a lunch duty and an extra break duty (the lunch one particularly annoys me since its only people on the Academy contracts that have to do this, not the old school staff, plus having a 30 minute break only is nowhere near enough, given that most of my lunches only last 15 mins as it is, what will all the usual school-chaos)
• I also have an extra slot with my lower group 7s, which I don't understand, since I didn't last term. This bumps up my teaching load to too much.
  

Anyway, enough grumbling, on to the messages. I received four really contrasting emails today. One was from a friend in Kenya, who talked seriously and vividly about the problems he's been experiencing over there since the elections. Scary stuff. There are similar problems in Sri Lanka, which I read about in a petition sent from my uncle. I can't believe the minor things I stress about when there are real people in the world living hand to mouth with no sense of stability or security. Be more grateful was a resolution, and I am.

The third was from a FB group dedicated to the recent passing of a Keble PPE finalist. He died at only 21 on the college ski trip, and his memorial was today. Poor boy, so young; it makes me think I should do better things more quickly, because you never know. On a lighter note, the last was from a TF friend inviting me to her birthday drinks, which was written with such eccentric and quintessentially British humour that I'm still laughing, and entirely jealous of her way with words.

No TV today, I am determined to finish my book since it's due back at the library tomorrow. And given that I can't go to the gym yet due to creaky-knee, well, there's no excuse.

Smiley versus Panic

My gosh, there's SO much to do for school next week, picnic panic!

More than things to do are the things to know. I don't know where anything is, or what any of the rules or routines are. Plus I have to spend 3 hours with my tutor group on Monday teaching them all this new stuff that I don't know. Aaargh!

I haven't planned any lessons or made any seating plans yet. I am not yet in teacher mode. Hmm, I really should put my head on properly.

Yesterday I failed at my drinking resolution, but it was so worth it. I've decided to adapt it so that I only drink on Fridays and Saturdays, and not in a crazy extreme way, excellent. We had an old school reunion, was so much fun, everyone was totally grown-up and stuff, ace. It was great to see what people were up to and reminisce about funny times at school. I'd forgotten a lot of the silly things we'd got up to, particularly the boys, and also all the gossip and scandal. I think the best thing about old friends is that it's really easy to get straight back into the banter, and also the intimacy. I had a real deep and meaningful on the way home with an old flame, and on one level it was like we were still 18, and on the other hand it was cool to be where we are now.

What else? Today I have decided to be a smiley smiley person. Actually, not decided, it's just happening. As a result, lots of people are smiling back at me and giving me lots of banter and generally making me feel good. Aaah, back to the good days, it's almost as if it's not worth worrying about school at all.

Dazed after Heaven

Early this morning I was trying to remember what I was doing this time last year. A pretty fruitless activity, clearly I have no idea, but I'm sure this time last year I would have never have predicted what I'd be doing this time this year. That all sounds very mysterious, and really it is. I feel like a snowflake, or a leaf, or a twig, or a piece of dust...basically anything small that is being carried away and completely overpowered by the outside forces, but not in a bad way, more like doing exactly what was intended all along.

We went to Heaven last night, which was dramatastic and good fun. It's a huge venue in Charing Cross, with loads of different rooms and different music. Lots of stereotypical gays, and then the fabulous looking boys too. They even had drag queens, podium dancers, and a weird Christmas dance performance which was rather freaky. Went with a rather eclectic (slash motley) crew, but it worked. I loved seeing Mosser again after an extended absence - he's such a good dancer. His friend Rob too was lots of fun, we clicked straight away...I can see why there are so many "fag hags" around, gay boys are fun! Gid and CK, and Mouche and her friend Tom also came along, a nice complement to us original three. I think we got back around 5 or something like that, and I feel like I slept for about 30 mins, so I am a bit stunned now, but it was totally worth it, it's a good stunned. I probably won't say any more about that on here, but I figure I have rambled lots to various readers so you've got the basics.

Haha, that said, this still isn't going to make any sense to anyone, I just realised. I am trying to process it myself. I was trying to explain it to N and B when we caught up yesterday afternoon, and they kinda understood, and so did Jade during our hilarious piano lesson (why do I insist on making up my own music??), but I guess if I don't understand then other people won't.

I'm listening to Feist, from the iPod adverts, and Canadian too, bonus! And loving the fact that I don't have to work tomorrow :)

Hmm, I think I will stop now and get back into my happy daze. I hope at least some of you get to feel like this too.

And my horoscope...awesome!

After a period that’s been consistently demanding but has often brought tremendous rewards, this week’s wonderful and — probably — unexpected developments could seem bewildering. While Saturn, the planet behind this austere cycle, remains in your sign, those challenging situations won’t be abating. And there’s a new player on the scene — Jupiter, which is accenting love and life’s pleasures, and will continue to do so for more than a year. This means, first, that things aren’t nearly as urgent as they seem. And, second, you’d best learn to juggle duties and pleasures, since this is only the start of a very busy period in your life.

The Weekend in Food

I have spent the weekend with people who are not my friends. It has been awesome!

Let me qualify that...by "not my friends" I mean people who haven't quite gotten deep down into my strange little world. As such, banter prevails, and thus I am free to invent myself as I wish. I love talking about inconsequential things like war strategies, Scrubs season 6, and the pros and cons of rose wine. I guess when you get close to people these discussions take a new turn.

Since I have been injured with THE KNEE that stops me running and doing other fun exercises, I have got myself a new hobby. Eating.

So the weekend in food:

BBQ on Sat at G's birthday gathering, including chicken kebabs, grilled haloumi, and chocolate creme fraiche with summer berries. Then, laaaater on Sat, pizza and salad. And in the early hours, chips and chicken and pigeon kebab that my brother had got out of the local chippy after chattering in arabic with the owners. Classy.

Lunch on Sun with the lovely A and co. Moroccan chicken with spicy couscous and green leaf salad, followed by apple crumble and cream and custard. Lots of wine too. Laaaater on Sun, BBQ AGAIN at a family friend's birthday thing. Yum yum including banoffee pie, brie stuffed potato skins, spicy jerk chicken, and home made apple chutney.

I am stuffed, and also a bit hammered. Oh dear, it's not a good time for bikini-wearing!

PS Before you get excited, no, I'm not typing this in a bikini...I'm in my pyjamas!

Today and not today

Today was a pretty typical Saturday in lots of ways, and it also wasn't.

Before I start the story, some good points from Friday, when I was liking school for the second day in a row! :

1. My new Y7 class - after some moving round of the Y7 sets, I have a new, slightly bigger, Y7 group. Finally I get to do all the things that I shoulda done right at the start of the year e.g. expectations for behaviour, learning, equipment, attitudes etc. I think sense good things will happen with this class.

2. Expectations, again, for the London Youth games football team. REY laid down the law to the girls, and I think it'll work, so no more moaning and negativity, excellent!

So, onto today. Well, the day itself was pretty standard so let's move on to the evening. Firstly, it was my mother's old school's fundraiser/reunion night. This was actually pretty great - particularly since my mother is President of her old school society, so lots of people know her, and thus want to know me. But, from a less selfish perspective, the evening was really well run, the food was good, the entertainment was great, and I was so proud of my mother's speech and her dance and things, I could see how much she'd put into it and it had all paid off. So yes, stage 1 was good.

After that, I made my way to Nina's birthday party at The Moose Bar off Oxford Street. Before that, another good thing - Bertie called me :) Yes, it was lovely to hear his voice and also find out that he is back in good old Blighty, for one week only (just like Phil Collins) and so I am looking forward to seeing his lovely self. Back to the story then. At Redbridge station I was just minding my own business waiting for a westbound train. An eastbound train pulls into the station and lots of people get off. Among them was a typical Essex couple - tall blondey sporty looking man, shorter blondey slightly under-dressed woman. The woman was grumbling about something, and then, as she passed me, she stopped, turned around, and came up to speak at me. "What are you then? Muslim or Hindu or what?" I could sense trouble so I replied that I had no firm religious beliefs (not true, but really, she should be glad I replied at all). She went on to criticise my dress - I guess her point was that my skirt was too short, but she couldn't really get straight to the point, preferring instead to mumble incoherently. Anyway, I was a bit cross at this, but decided not to retaliate since she looked a bit like a heroin addict and perhaps she might have thumped me, which would make things difficult at school on Monday: "why do you have that black-eye"..."oh because I wasn't dressed like a good Asian girl"...."so did you Dad hit you?"...."no, it was this wiry little white woman at the station". Hmmm.

I couldn't figure out how I felt about this woman. No-one has ever really said that I was dressed inappropriately before, but then part of me was kinda glad that this middle-aged woman was concerned about the "youth" (I heard this word amongst her ramblings). Still, I was annoyed since it seems like she was only critical of me because I wasn't white, when it shouldn't matter - if that's what she believes, she should say it to everyone, regardless of colour. Also, can't believe she lives in Redbridge - where has she been hiding all this time?

CK called me up, asking what I was doing tonight. Turned out he had VIP passes to see the Sugababes (v. cool) but managed to bring Meera and Gid along to The Moose afterwards. This was a good and fun thing - I like them. Was also pleased to see some Forest crew tonight, particularly Ange, Liz and Fi, whom I haven't seen in a good while.

On to the final strangeness then. In the cab on the way home (no nightbus tonight!) Ange and Liz started discussing the finer points of drink driving and why I was such a cretin for doing it. It's true, I agree with them, I'm an idiot for ever driving home after a few drinks, let alone regularly. They tried to make me justify it, and I couldn't really, only on the grounds of convenience. But, despite taking their arguments fully on board, I'm pretty sure I will keep doing it. Why? I dunno really, perhaps because I think it's worth the risk. This would be an ok reason, if it wasn't so darn selfish. Lots of things are wrong in what I do, but I think this is an obvious one that I should try and fix. Add it to the list.

All in all a pretty balanced night, but not looking forward to the planning tomorrow (no hangover - yep I can sense that already!) but loving the weekend :)

Dinner in Islington

So it is fairly obvious I have given up doing anything education related this week. Instead I have been drinking my money away, good stuff.

Yesterday night Bertie came down for a bit of a jolly. We started off in a nice little pub near Chancery Lane, where we discussed the pros and cons of the "great race race". He is the first one to think it would be ok to have a race on facebook similar to the girls vs boys, except along the lines of racial origin i.e. blacks vs whites. I know it would be controversial, but fun(!) all the same.

Please note, I'm not into stirring up racial hatred or anything, just curious as to why girls vs boys is acceptable whilst blacks vs whites probably wouldn't be. I'm probably being thick, I know it would cause trouble, but why?

Anyway we moved on to the Knight's Templar, a Wetherspoon's better known to me as the Scholarship.
I tend to drag people there kicking and screaming, until they see the wonderful ship style lavatories and the pear cider, and then they're converted. Here Ish (and Suze, briefly) joined us. We then moved on to Ish's house where we met Chi, Clare and Nas, and Berts cooked us all carbonara. By this time I was pleasantly merry and a good time was had indeed.

(As an aside, I told Ish about gimmealift.com and she thought it was a great idea. Also, I bought a Big Issue on Weds and the lead article was about social entrepreneurship, so am gonna see if there's any real advice in there about what to do next).

The real point to this post though is how different all my friends are from each other. I sometimes honestly wonder what would happen if I put them all in a room together. Some of them are in fact so different from others that I'm sure they wouldn't even speak. Actually, that's pretty harsh, they probably would talk, but run out of things to say rapidly. But why are they so different? And to which group do I really belong?