Highlights from the week

I'm putting off the gym for 20 more minutes because it's been a whole week and no blogging action from me. Time to update this wonderful record of my rambley life.

Good things from the week:

• 8E stepping up for sports day and doing the business (every single kid in the tutor group bar one took part in one event or another, excellent...fingers crossed we finish well in Year 8)
• non-uniform day - yeah I got to wear flip flops!
• playing tangrams and Nubble Express with loads of my classes (hope I haven't started the "fun lessons" too soon)
• telling all my classes that I'm leaving and them all being sad about it - maybe I'm a good teacher after all
• teaching 8E a PSHE lesson based on the role of education in society (something that I taught my Y12s in AS Sociology) and having them respond really well to it
  
• spending most of my weekend with X, and also a midweek meet-up too - aaaah it makes me happy. As does winning two pairs of knickers in a bet over dominoes
• reverse parking into a tight tight spot the first time round, and then being told by the parking attendants that I was the best lady parker they'd seen all morning
• the end of year staff boat party - a free bar = shocking hangover, but it was loads of fun to celebrate the almost end of year with my colleagues. Not to mention getting muchos compliments for my "bap dress"
• having the new TF maths teacher in for his London week, and hearing that having watched all the maths teachers teach, the one he most wanted to be like was me!
  
• seeing my American friend Braden from my summer at Dartmouth, and also reunion-ing with all the kids from our exchange that year
• our final TF workshop, which was a bit lame, but so ace to see all of our year, and also to know that we've almost completed the programme, yeeehaaaa!

Not-so-good things

• not getting the money back from that ridiculous Wing Security towing my car away - grrrr
• being so busy that all the mundane chore type stuff has just not been done
• having to a learning log (boring)
• still not knowing about my knee operation and so not being able to book anything proper for the summer
• waiting for my WWOOF-ing booklet so I can finally contact some people about that

Aside from that, it's been a stellar week, I'm feeling awesome and happy! Five days of school to go, which will be crazy and emotional, but this time next week, well, I'll be at a colleague's BBQ celebrating the end of a mini-era. Hope all is well with you.

Quick Ramble

My job is being advertised in the TES - wow, kinda final huh? I'm glad glad though, phew, means my department will be sorted for September.

Aaargh, I'm so tired. I should learn that drinking on Sunday always makes me feel rough on Monday.

8E were naughty today, I can't control them, and now without a Head of Year, it's even tougher. Am starting not to care though. Bad bad. I have 81 more teaching days to go, I have to keep caring. Can see it slipping though. For example, I no longer set detentions for missed homework with my Y10s - partly because they don't come, partly because it's not worth the battle, partly because it means I can mark the books faster because fewer students have done the work. JADED.

What else? Horoscope here...

Bitter experience has taught you that, thrilling as others’ descriptions of ideas, ventures or even intriguing individuals may be, you must check things out yourself. Still, the dramatic changes ushered in by the Virgo eclipsed Full Moon two weeks ago got you wondering whether you’ve been overly cautious. You have. And if you refuse to go along with this week’s developments, you’ll not only miss out on worthwhile information about what’s happening, you could also miss out on the opportunities they bring. During periods of transition such as this, there are no guarantees. Stick with things that are certain and you’ll soon be watching others overtake you in the fast lane.

My gosh, take a risk, leave the plan, stop being cautious...are they talking about Virgos?

And finally, heard the new Kooks song, good fun indeed.

Roll on the busy busy week - but first, BED.

PS It's National Bed Month!

I wonder if any of this happened to you today?

I love not teaching in the afternoon, it's so the best thing!

My form were so good in silent reading this afternoon. Back last term this was completely impossible and wouldn't happen, but today we had the whole class super quiet, was awesome!

Except...

Three kids decided to draw pornographic images instead of reading! Shocker. These were seriously explicit pictures as well, I couldn't believe it. So trying to be smart, I confiscated the pics and told the kids I'd be sending copies to their parents. And I kept them back in detention after school. So far so good. But then I slipped out of the classroom for 2 minutes to photocopy some homework sheets for my Y10s, and when I came back, lo and behold the confiscated drawings had "disappeared". Little monsters. DId some futile ranting and raving, then had to send them home. Called up their parents - luckily they were good and supportive, so hopefully the culprit will step up tomorrow.

In other news, I'm teaching expanding brackets to my Y10 set 4, and my Y8 set 1. This meant that today I taught two hours worth of brackets, back to back lessons and everything. Aaaargh brackets, I don't want to see them again.
(((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))

And finally, I was back at my old school today to watch the Y11 girls' borough basketball final. We have lost to the same school for the past 4 years, and this year we were so close to winning, and then lost by a point in the final minute. Such a dramatic game, and I felt really awful for the girls afterwards. Sport is too serious for me I think.

Back to the Learning Log. Yay, good times!

Naughty tutor group

I just re-read my last post about being gloriously unbusy and having finished all my work. Is that still true? Errrr, no! I am cream-crackered and have about 50 books to mark. Boo!

Why do I have so much work today? Because I did none last night, because I was busy watching Spurs thrash Arsenal, woooo! What an awesome game, I can't believe it, 5-1?! That's insane scoring, especially against Arsenal. I'm so pleased, we're finally gonna play in a Cup Final at Wembley, wow. Perhaps still a bit in shock.

Accidentally got a bit drunk last night with X, we drank our way through the Australian beers. Not too much, but enough to be dehydrated and mildly hungover. Also, decided it'd be a good idea last night when I got home to tidy up stuff, stupid idea, mainly because then I only had four hours sleep. Why do I keep forgetting that teaching tired and hungover is not fun? I need to make a sign and carry it around to remind me of this important fact.

Today was dramatastic, properly dramatastic, school-wise. Yesterday one of the Y8s told me to "get out my f*cking face" and we had a massive long department meeting, so that wasn't fun. So today the fall-out. Had to chase up the exclusion for this girl, plus at the meeting it was decided that I'd do all the maths book ordering for the new library, except the deadline to sort this out was today, whoops. Despite having two free periods today, I spent all my time chasing up kids. My tutor group have gone nuts. Some highlights from today:

• "A" got in a fight at lunchtime with a Y7. A is a good girl, I don't know what happened there.
• "S" called an English teacher a "f*cking rude git". Consequently her and three others were kicked out of their English lesson so we had to spend a free lesson sorting that out.
• "H" was caught tearing around the school, and then spent a further 10 minutes giving the 2nd in Science and the security people the run around, before finally being caught.
• Another "A" has picked up two hours of detention in maths for being badly behaved, so I had to call her mum.

On top of that I have something like 15 incident reports for various kids and it's only Wednesday. Being a tutor is a serious full-time job, especially with all the drama. There's no time to sort them all out properly. Like today I wanted to spend some time with "S" as she has to see a counsellor tomorrow, plus she's worried about being excluded for her swearing, but there was just no time. I wish I could be there for them a bit more.

Lessons were ok mostly, except Y9, two kids were upsetting each other, then one started crying and hid under his jacket, more drama. During break duty there was a bit of chaos in the dining hall, and "D" in Y11 said "you are so f*cking hype man" to me when I wouldn't let him storm back out the doors. So much swearing today, why do they think it's ok to do this?

On the plus side, Mos came to speak to VIth form, that was really good, except he kept calling me by my first name in front of the kids, which was really funny. And also because I took him up to my classroom afterwards, and I had lots of my "silly" kids in detention, and they spent all their time and energy winding him up and me up, asking us if we were a couple, whether we fancied each other etc. Actually that was quite funny, if only they knew eh?

In an ideal world I'd go to bed now and get some rest. Or I'd go to the gym and have a good work out. But instead I have to mark my Y8 tests and think about my higher education meeting tomorrow. Oh and the book list. Oh and the risk assessment. I think I may be TOOOOOO busy. Good thing I am blogging instead. About another stay day.

Lots of Stuff

I am in love with the short-stories at www.meandmygoldfish.com. I have only read them, I've not even listened to or watched them yet, but they are amazing. Enough to make me proud to be a Goldfish card owner, albeit in the disguise of a Morgan Stanley Platinum.

I have just been reading the one about the sleep-deprived people. I am liking hyphens today by the way. Entirely sleep deprived. Think I got about two hours, plus woke up in a cold sweat. Not good.

Have had 5 hot drinks today. School was good actually. Despite yawning in the car on the way to school, I was in the zone by 8am and worked through solidly till after 5pm. Literally. Ran some errands and got home by 6pm. Took an hour off to read the papers, play my piano and have some dinner. Then did two hours of marking. And I'm still not properly tired. So essentially I am going to have to trick myself into sleeping because I have the loooongest day ever tomorrow - an 8am knee scan in Romford all the way to the staff meeting/training that will end at 7pm. Then marking. Whoop.

New homework strategy working a treat i.e. set less homework, and stuff they can actually do. Thus far more ticks and far fewer corrections. Did two sets of books today :) Wish I'd thought of the strategy before setting Y10 work, especially since one of the things they had to do was calculate "the shaded area" except my dodgy photocopying meant the shading didn't come through.

Speaking of Y10, we did some group work today, was really good. Room was noisy, but lots was done by most kids. Had one altercation with a girl, but I won, and she will conform, I am not compromising.

And on the line of altercations, crazy H is up to know good, and I am very worried about S. We tried to have a talk at the end of the day, and she just shut down. H, on the other hand, didn't turn up for his detention even though I had his bag hostage. Weirdo. And poor J is getting picked on - there are rumours flying around about her, poor girl, the silly kids don't even understand what they are saying or how offensive it is.

In other news, my favourite word today is JUMBLE, it has a great sound to it, JUMBLE JUMBLE JUMBLE. And also the name Khalil, although it's a Muslim name so not sure it's appropriate for my unborn sons. And on the subject of kids, my Y12s asked me how many I wanted today, and we had a nice chat. They say they can tell I am around 23/24. Smart kids. Not sure whether I should keep revealing personal details to them, where's the boundary?

If Spurs buy Downing we will go down the pan. Hope we beat Reading tomorrow.

Ramble done.

Messages and Day 1

29 school days to half-term. I'm not counting down, that's just a statement of fact.

Today went remarkably well, I think perhaps because I maintained a smile on my face. And also because I have a co-tutor for my crazy ones at the moment, which means between us we can just about keep on top of them. Just.

Some good things:

• The kids were actually really well behaved and glad to be back
• My new classroom looks ace
• I managed to plan most of my lessons in a blitz at home after school
  
• I don't have a class of 30 year 7s after all, only 28, so I'm only missing two of them
• This means that I can have seven tables of four and get rid of the extra table that made the table of six (you probably won't care about that, but layout is important to me)
• I got an excellent amount of sleep last night and am determined to repeat the feat tonight
• I feel neither low nor high, just normal, woo!
  

Some things that could have been better:

• During the fire drill three of my kids started squawking and poking each other, right in front of the senior teachers, which made me look like a muppet
• Some kids (not mine, some others) have already graffitied parts of the toilet and outer wall (losers)
• I have been given a lunch duty and an extra break duty (the lunch one particularly annoys me since its only people on the Academy contracts that have to do this, not the old school staff, plus having a 30 minute break only is nowhere near enough, given that most of my lunches only last 15 mins as it is, what will all the usual school-chaos)
• I also have an extra slot with my lower group 7s, which I don't understand, since I didn't last term. This bumps up my teaching load to too much.
  

Anyway, enough grumbling, on to the messages. I received four really contrasting emails today. One was from a friend in Kenya, who talked seriously and vividly about the problems he's been experiencing over there since the elections. Scary stuff. There are similar problems in Sri Lanka, which I read about in a petition sent from my uncle. I can't believe the minor things I stress about when there are real people in the world living hand to mouth with no sense of stability or security. Be more grateful was a resolution, and I am.

The third was from a FB group dedicated to the recent passing of a Keble PPE finalist. He died at only 21 on the college ski trip, and his memorial was today. Poor boy, so young; it makes me think I should do better things more quickly, because you never know. On a lighter note, the last was from a TF friend inviting me to her birthday drinks, which was written with such eccentric and quintessentially British humour that I'm still laughing, and entirely jealous of her way with words.

No TV today, I am determined to finish my book since it's due back at the library tomorrow. And given that I can't go to the gym yet due to creaky-knee, well, there's no excuse.

Good Teaching Stuff

Another good day today. I am liking this.

Most people are looking fairly exhausted by now. Eight days of teaching left, then the extra 5 days of INSET and closure to move to the new building. We're all counting them, but given that I've had 4 weeks off, I'm feeling fairly fresh.

Did a lot of running around after my form today. There was some drama about books being thrown out of the windows in my absence. E was having an off-day and getting kicked out/storming out of lessons. We made a bargain and shook hands saying we'd both do our best to get through the day. Crazy H is back from Pakistan and looking more care-worn than ever. I want to hug him and feed him and nurture him and make him alright, he's like a little stray dog to me. We chatted about minor things; it's difficult to talk with him properly, but I hope he understands that we all want him to have a fresh start.

Saw my Y12s for the first time today, was very funny, got into a huge debate about sex and religious education in school. A good number were very much supporters of the whole "if you come to this country you should accept British values" which is hilarious since they're from all over the place and not exactly your typical right-wing types, heehee. Had my Y9s after lunch, although not teaching them, just sorting them out a bit. Was dead sweet, they all cheered when I was back and said how much they had missed me etc. so was actually quite devastated to have to then turn around and leave them with a supply teacher and tell them I wouldn't be with them properly until after half-term. Oh well.

Finally, went to a TF event on "Managing Your School Career", which is ironic since I figured I was leaving, but now that I'm back I've got some perspective again and I realise how much I do love it, especially the kids and the staff at my school. There's no other place you could go to where if you were off sick literally hundreds of people would be asking how you were and checking up on you in the corridors (even the naughty kids do it, it's great!). It's such a community, despite all the problems, and I can't think of being needed or doing as much good in the same way as I feel I am at school.

Gosh, with all this drama I get concerned any time I have a strong feeling of any type. I am paranoid I am subtly getting manic without noticing. It's no good all of this thinking. I am confused.

Anyway, words of the day today:

capricious - changeable (I'm sure I've looked this up before...)
complaisant - showing a cheerful willingness to do favours for others
ossuary - a building below ground level
diaphanous - semitransparent
parsimonious - excessively unwilling to spend
perfidious - tending to betray (punic is a synonym, what a great word!)
itinerant - traveling from place to place for work

First day and I need a break!

I feel bad for anyone that has to see me straight after a tough day at school. Today's innocent victim was Jadey Bladey - thank you for putting up with my incoherent rambling.

School is always extremes with me - bits I love and bits I hate. Firstly, two things I loved from the day. In Year 7 PSHE the students had to write a little note to two adults and two kids who had made them feel good about stuff since September, and I got a note from little Daniel, who I chose to help me at Open Evening, and who apparently thoroughly appreciated the opportunity. This was sweet. Then my Y12 sociology lesson today was just great, the kids were really into it, it was banterful but we got a lot of work done too, nice.

Two things I hated from today. My Y10s were just uncooperative today, persistently talking and off task and rude and time wasting, was really frustrating. Worse than that, my tutor group. They are driving me up the wall, it's like whatever I do with them, they still walk all over me. I get really cross and worry I will eventually resort to kiddie tactics e.g. giving them the cold shoulder, shouting back at them. They would love that.

I wonder if there is any job where one regularly has to put up with pretty harsh emotional trauma from people one is supposedly there to help? After a bad tutor session with them I feel like jacking it all in, well, at least the tutoring side of things. It also makes me realise I could never be like someone in Spooks - if I can't deal with pressure from 13 year olds, how can I deal with international master criminals? I spend a lot of time thinking about what I am doing wrong, but am yet to come up with a solution. It doesn't help that my FB horoscope says "It's ok to take the easy way out this time. Don't make things more complicated than they need to be. The simplest solution is often the right one". So give up the tutor group?

Thought I'd end with this story I got emailed today, it's pretty deep...

There was once a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the back of the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learnt to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the little boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails had gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said "You have done well, my son, but look at all the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry' , the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one." Friends are very rare jewels indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.

Keeping Safe + Teenage Teachers

Two hilarious things to talk about, after another fun day in school :)

Caution, the following post contains graphic language and content. If, like some of my kids, your parents don't want you to learn about this stuff, you need a note in your diary.


Lesson 1 today, PSHE with my tutor group. The hot topic of the day, oh yes, "keeping safe - contraception". Cue the entrance of a shiny sleek rubber willy, a HUGE tub of lube, and four condoms, all in a cardboard box. The kids were pretty hyped up, it was great! Personally, am disappointed with the willy, I think it was only 6 inches or so. Just read that again, obviously I don't mean personally disappointed, stop your dirty mind.


We spend the first 20 minutes getting over the giggles and trying to match up pictures of contraception with their names. I struggle to differentiate between a "cervical cap" and a diaphragm. One of the girls is rather more clued-up than I thought, and helps out here. The kids cringe at my description of an IUD as similar to a "fishing hook". The picture of a condom is weirdly rectangular. We debate the distinction between the contraceptive pill and the morning after pill. D chips in with "Viagra Miss, that's the pill isn't it?" I laugh, despite trying to take the topic seriously. Here begins a lengthy discussion on erectile dysfunction, during which many of the kids laugh at the idea of old people having sex. Bless their young socks.

Later in the lesson one of the girls points out that all the contraception seems to be geared towards women. This leads to a big boy-bashing session, with a number of girls claiming that boys are just after one thing and that the girls are the ones left to deal with the consequences. The boys respond with the idea that girls try and tie them down too early, and that why shouldn't they jump at the chance of sex if they get offered it? It's funny and serious at the same time. It's strange because on the one hand there are kids who are all "Miss, why do we have to learn this, we're not gonna have sex any time soon" and on the other hand there are the kids who say things like "it's ok to give head, you can't catch anything and it makes you a good girlfriend". Not just strange, a bit worrying too.

The last part of the lesson made me laugh again. I was showing them this PowerPoint on contraception that I hadn't looked through yet. Slides 3 and 4 were about myths to do with contraception and sex, including such gems as "you can't get pregnant if you have sex on a boat" and "you can't get pregnant if you're underage". Thankfully the kids laughed at the ridiculousness of all these myths, saying that people must be stupid if they believed those things. However there were some raised eyebrows when I said that you COULD get pregnant even if you were on your period, and also even if he pulls out early.

It was actually a really good lesson, clearly if the kids care about the topic they will learn more, and learn better. Part 2 of this topic after half-term.

The other funny thing was this BBC3 programme called Leave Us Kids Alone. Basically over the summer twelve 17/18 year-olds were given control of a school and a class of 30 Year 8s to teach. The idea was that all these teenagers would have an opportunity to implement all their visions of a perfect school. In truth, many of them realised how hard it was to teach and run a school. I couldn't help but smirk when the rather weak "headteacher", Sam, struggled to get the kids to listen to him in assembly. Similarly when the jokey banter of "drama teacher", Liam, got him into all kinds of trouble with behaviour. It's so true, you need to play act all day at being a big serious adult, else the kids won't take you seriously. That's not to say that you can't be fun, but they need to see the serious side first. Anyway, the school failed its inspection, the headteacher quit, and a new head was appointed. Am interested to see what happens next in the school, and also the story of the dyslexic acting head chef, who felt that school let her down, and now wants to prove her worth in the classroom.

One day to go. Whoop!

Saturday night update

It's pretty late, I should be in bed. I need the sleep for all the work I have to do tomorrow. Work doesn't always mean bad things. For example, I think of piano lessons and gym sessions as work, and I have to do both of those tomorrow, but I like them. However, there is some work that I definitely don't like that I also have to do tomorrow. Lesson planning, yuck. GS Leadership Log, double yuck. Education - Business presentation, triple yuck. If I didn't have to do all the extra work that is associated with the whole TF experience, I'd only be on one yuck, instead of six. Some nice algebra there.

Still, mustn't complain, currently I feel like I can battle all this work, complete it all, tick it off the list, and then spend time gloating and being satisfied that my "to do" list is done. I like this feeling.

In other news then, the inspection, well, terrible. Was 10 mins late for the lesson with my mad Y7s. The groups hadn't been set yet and so it was entirely mixed ability, except by mixed I mean on the one hand kids that can add 7 to a number, and on the other, kids that can barely count or spell the word number. Inspector went to hell and back with his post-lesson chatter. Essentially I think I flopped because I just don't know the kids yet, I don't know where to pitch the level, I don't know who is capable of what, or where to provide extra support. I'd only taught that class four times previously, there were 31 kids in the group anyway, and as a final excuse, well, I had no information on them and we hadn't had a formal maths lesson yet, so of course it wasn't going to be perfect. Still, it felt bad not to have a good opportunity to show off my potential.

Crazy H in my tutor group is being excluded for 3 days next week. His latest offences include kicking other students, threatening to burgle the house of an LSA, and bringing hardcore pornography into lessons. Bless him. I just want to hug him since he's an angel with me and cares about how Spurs are doing. He's really messed up and there's no-one really there to help him. Sad as it sounds, I can't see him lasting to Y11 at this rate.

This morning I woke up with a cracking hangover. The older I get the worse they are. Even if I don't drink that much. Last night was great, lots of good times with various TFers over the night, plus bumped into two old friends too, what are the chances? Obviously today was written off, except I did manage to get some tat for the kids as prizes for next week. Scented highlighters, glitter pens, and lollipops...surely that is incentive enough to try and stay off report all week?

And finally, I missed most of a dinner party tonight, naughty naughty. Was out drinking with the Furies, which I loved for the most part. It's not the same though, there's just too many rocks beneath the waves for it all to flow smoothly. I dunno, I don't want to waste too much emotion on it all, it's time to cut lose and leave it to mend itself. It's weird though, I can feel myself actively pulling away, it's sad, these people were my good friends, but now I find it hard to imagine ever having again what we had had.

So, to bed I guess. To ponder. To ponder is to dream, right? Or have I got that wrong...

The First Proper Day Back

I had a really good day today :)

I think I've remembered why I got into teaching. Three reasons:

• I like being in control
• I like the sound of my own voice
• I like fixing things/people
  

Today I got to do all of these things. I spent most of the day with my tutor group, where I finally got to stamp really control over them. The old adage "don't smile till Christmas" doesn't really work with me since my face acts independently of my head, but I tried to be on the top of my game and jump on all infringements. I told them that I would train them, whether they liked it or not, so they might as well get used to it. Lots of monologuing on my part got my point across I think. And I don't want to speak too soon, but after it all Eight Evil were the best that I've seen them. I think it's cos they realised that they're stuck with me now so they might as well tow the line. Whatever, they're actually pretty ok, even crazy H and J-L (the girl who hated me all of last year). E was a bit clingy and A a bit whiny, but I managed it.

My weirdo year 9s were good too, partly because most of the real nutters from my group's parallel back in Y8 seem to have dropped down a set, and all the ones that came from the set above are fairly normal. No doubt I will have trouble with them at some point, and obviously little D was his usual nutty self, but for the most part I liked that lesson.

This is all a bit weird. I guess it's cos I've forgotten what it's like to be in school. On Friday when I have a 5 period proper day of teaching I will get a bit shaky. But that's ok cos then it's the weekend and so I can have fun :) I'm surprised I guess cos last night I didn't sleep at all, very turbulent dreams, and yet I am only just feeling the fatigue. They were those lucid dreams where you feel like you're in control of what's happening but then you don't understand why you are dreaming what you are. Hope that doesn't happen tonight, it's too much like work. Should be ok though since I hit the gym at half six this morning, so might have been running off the buzz i.e. endorphins and raised metabolism, not dodgy steroids or anything. That should be enough to knacker me out tonight. Reckon I'll do that tomorrow as well.

Well that was all very rambley. Am off now to sort out seating plans and do some sociology work. Can't believe I am teaching them on Friday and I have no idea what's going on!