Naughty Kids, Good Lessons, and Time

Monday week B is over. There are only 12 teaching days left of the term. And then I'll just have one term left of my NQT year. Where is the time going? In equal parts it seems to drag and rush by, and now it's my "half-birthday" and half of my time being 24 is up, and where has it gone?

My classes are ok for the most part. I taught some good lessons today, using this fun starter activity in all the maths ones. I'm more and more convinced that if the kids get into the starter, then the lesson is a good one. So now I will do my best to make the starters accessible and fun, as they should be.

C is back in my Y10 class after parents' evening last Thursday. He was good today, I think because at parents' evening I told most parents their kids were not going to get C grades at this rate, which shocked them a bit, good.

Crazy H pushed an LSA three times today, got kids to throw books at him, and also had a fight in his Art lesson. He's lost the plot, I don't know what to do with him. Similarly with another C, who was moved to my tutor group because his other tutor couldn't stand him, and now he is starting to go back to his old ways, including punching someone today, and also being accused of indecent behaviour. Our school is so up and down.

In other news, tonight is my chill night, and I should be marking, but due to the joys of Good Friday, I've been setting homework from today, so I only have one lot of books to mark, excellent! The rest of my week is pretty busy, as is my life generally, although recently I find myself bailing on things to spend more time with X. I think it's because I've started of thinking of time as my most limited resource so I may as well do what I most want to do with it. A good plan I think. We're going to Stonehenge this weekend, should be good fun. Have also booked my Spring holiday to Toronto, whoop whoop! Just gotta get through the 12 days first, I'm optimistic. And dramatic. In equal measures.

My horoscope:

Every Virgo respects the need to be painstaking when dealing with delicate situations, which is exactly what you’re facing now, and have been for weeks. Although it may not seem as if this process — which has been tedious and intriguing in equal parts — is coming to a close, it does, and suddenly. So say whatever you must and gather whatever facts you still need during the week’s first half. This frees you, so that when the focus shifts to practical matters, just before the week’s close, you’re ready. What’s more, this is so contentious that you’re relieved you familiarised yourself thoroughly with the minutiae involved. Better yet, in clearing up these problems, you’ll eliminate a few others as well.

I wonder if any of this happened to you today?

I love not teaching in the afternoon, it's so the best thing!

My form were so good in silent reading this afternoon. Back last term this was completely impossible and wouldn't happen, but today we had the whole class super quiet, was awesome!

Except...

Three kids decided to draw pornographic images instead of reading! Shocker. These were seriously explicit pictures as well, I couldn't believe it. So trying to be smart, I confiscated the pics and told the kids I'd be sending copies to their parents. And I kept them back in detention after school. So far so good. But then I slipped out of the classroom for 2 minutes to photocopy some homework sheets for my Y10s, and when I came back, lo and behold the confiscated drawings had "disappeared". Little monsters. DId some futile ranting and raving, then had to send them home. Called up their parents - luckily they were good and supportive, so hopefully the culprit will step up tomorrow.

In other news, I'm teaching expanding brackets to my Y10 set 4, and my Y8 set 1. This meant that today I taught two hours worth of brackets, back to back lessons and everything. Aaaargh brackets, I don't want to see them again.
(((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))

And finally, I was back at my old school today to watch the Y11 girls' borough basketball final. We have lost to the same school for the past 4 years, and this year we were so close to winning, and then lost by a point in the final minute. Such a dramatic game, and I felt really awful for the girls afterwards. Sport is too serious for me I think.

Back to the Learning Log. Yay, good times!

Being sworn at. Again.

I got told to "stick it up my f*cking arse" by one of the girls in my tutor group today. This is after speaking to her mother about her poor behaviour. Sigh.

This is the third time a kid has sworn in my face in the last 6 days. I am beginning to wonder if I have "swear at me" written on my forehead. Or what I am doing differently that is vexing these kids so?

On the one side, I am pretty dumbfounded when kids swear at me, I am just so shocked by the words that I don't really react straight away. And then I tend to let it go, and not worry too much. But then on the other I am entirely indignant, why should I have to deal with that kind of abuse? And what kind of child speaks that way? I can't remember ever being so rude to someone like that. Probably the question is what kind of parents/carers allow/teach their children to speak like that?

More positively, today the Y8 girls' basketball team made the Waltham Forest Borough final, which is awesome! The game was so much drama - against another local school and it was point to point all the way, with our girls winning by just a single point, and a desperate fight to the finish. There were tears and cheers and hugs and all kinds of craziness at the end, I love how sport can do that.

Also, I have booked a half-term escape to Dubai and I can't wait! It's three loooong weeks to a break, but now I have a clearer goal in sight - sun and life out school, woooo!

I am meant to be marking, but I'm on strike, I don't want to do it, there's just too much. Instead I shall retire to bed with my overdue library books.

Quick Round-Up + Rambles

I have just marked two sets of class books. Phew. So hard-core has my marking been that I actually have those finger dents, which I don't remember having since finals. Phew again.

I still have my Y12 essays to mark, plus that long-forgotten risk assessment for the Cambridge trip to complete. Boo. I don't want to work any more tonight, I'm tired. I've already had a 20 minute disco nap, and that was actually super-useful since my marking was twice as fast afterwards, but I fear that if I put my head down now, that'll be it.

So what's been going on? Busy weekend, went to a housewarming, a 21st and spent 7 hours in the pub yesterday. Did my lesson planning on Saturday morning, a real impact session, I felt I owed it to the work. Plus I had a smile on my face. The housewarming was lovely, loads of booze, but managed to keep it reasonable. The house was in Kennington, but it was on a square and really nicely laid out, so I was jealous. The 21st was a family thing, and miles away, and I was totally falling asleep by 11pm. Crashed out in bed by half one, but somehow woke up at half eight on Sunday morning so hit the gym, yay! Made it ok to feast in the pub later. No comment regarding the Spurs defeat. Or the rubbish regarding buying Woodgate - what an error, they might as well just as buy me, except I would be better.

What else is new? Today taught some good lessons, I love my Y12s, they make me laugh so much. Y10 were good lesson 1, and so were my lower-ability 7s. Am worried about my top set Y8, I think I'm being too casual with them, and as a result we're not doing as much work as we need to. We had an assembly on the Holocaust - kids in my tutor group were talking and laughing through it so I shouted at them and kept them back afterwards. I can't remember being so disrespectful over something so important, particularly since if you consider the kids, well, if the Nazis had had their way around the world, only about three of my tutor group would still be around. And I wouldn't be. I guess they just need to mature.

After school we had a meeting with "K" and "S" and their English teacher and the 2nd in charge of English. The girls have been kicked out of English after some really dramatic conflict between the teacher and the kids. It's a nightmare, but today we seem to have made some progress on the reconciliation front. The girls were mature and gave some good ideas, and I think the English teacher is trying to give them a second chance too. I hope it works out - these are bright girls, they have a lot of potential, but I'm worried they're getting in too much trouble. They already have over 50 incident reports between them.

That said, crazy H had already picked up 50 plus two temporary exclusions before Christmas. He is going to be permanently excluded, he just can't behave. Today he lost the plot - 3 incident reports out of 5 lessons, plus he lost his red report, plus he was messing about in assembly. Sometimes he's just like that. It's such a shame, what's he going to do?

In other news, my horoscope:

You’re probably still reeling from the amazing offers of January’s last half, which were so good that you’re carefully evaluating them before committing. While they’re undoubtedly just that good, with your ruler, Mercury, retrograde from Monday until February 19, problems are bound to surface. Actually, the minor errors this cycle triggers should be helpful — you’ll want to slow the pace and will have numerous questions you want answered. These aren’t urgent, however, while situations involving those closest are. Make lending them support your priority and your kindness will be returned many times over.

I don't like the way it has "errors" in it. Also I lost a Scrabble game to X this weekend. Devastating. I genuinely thought I'd never lose. Humph. On the plus side, I've learned a new word - panpharmacon - a medicine for all ills. In seven letters, panacea.

Naughty tutor group

I just re-read my last post about being gloriously unbusy and having finished all my work. Is that still true? Errrr, no! I am cream-crackered and have about 50 books to mark. Boo!

Why do I have so much work today? Because I did none last night, because I was busy watching Spurs thrash Arsenal, woooo! What an awesome game, I can't believe it, 5-1?! That's insane scoring, especially against Arsenal. I'm so pleased, we're finally gonna play in a Cup Final at Wembley, wow. Perhaps still a bit in shock.

Accidentally got a bit drunk last night with X, we drank our way through the Australian beers. Not too much, but enough to be dehydrated and mildly hungover. Also, decided it'd be a good idea last night when I got home to tidy up stuff, stupid idea, mainly because then I only had four hours sleep. Why do I keep forgetting that teaching tired and hungover is not fun? I need to make a sign and carry it around to remind me of this important fact.

Today was dramatastic, properly dramatastic, school-wise. Yesterday one of the Y8s told me to "get out my f*cking face" and we had a massive long department meeting, so that wasn't fun. So today the fall-out. Had to chase up the exclusion for this girl, plus at the meeting it was decided that I'd do all the maths book ordering for the new library, except the deadline to sort this out was today, whoops. Despite having two free periods today, I spent all my time chasing up kids. My tutor group have gone nuts. Some highlights from today:

• "A" got in a fight at lunchtime with a Y7. A is a good girl, I don't know what happened there.
• "S" called an English teacher a "f*cking rude git". Consequently her and three others were kicked out of their English lesson so we had to spend a free lesson sorting that out.
• "H" was caught tearing around the school, and then spent a further 10 minutes giving the 2nd in Science and the security people the run around, before finally being caught.
• Another "A" has picked up two hours of detention in maths for being badly behaved, so I had to call her mum.

On top of that I have something like 15 incident reports for various kids and it's only Wednesday. Being a tutor is a serious full-time job, especially with all the drama. There's no time to sort them all out properly. Like today I wanted to spend some time with "S" as she has to see a counsellor tomorrow, plus she's worried about being excluded for her swearing, but there was just no time. I wish I could be there for them a bit more.

Lessons were ok mostly, except Y9, two kids were upsetting each other, then one started crying and hid under his jacket, more drama. During break duty there was a bit of chaos in the dining hall, and "D" in Y11 said "you are so f*cking hype man" to me when I wouldn't let him storm back out the doors. So much swearing today, why do they think it's ok to do this?

On the plus side, Mos came to speak to VIth form, that was really good, except he kept calling me by my first name in front of the kids, which was really funny. And also because I took him up to my classroom afterwards, and I had lots of my "silly" kids in detention, and they spent all their time and energy winding him up and me up, asking us if we were a couple, whether we fancied each other etc. Actually that was quite funny, if only they knew eh?

In an ideal world I'd go to bed now and get some rest. Or I'd go to the gym and have a good work out. But instead I have to mark my Y8 tests and think about my higher education meeting tomorrow. Oh and the book list. Oh and the risk assessment. I think I may be TOOOOOO busy. Good thing I am blogging instead. About another stay day.

Car drama!

It was so frosty and icy this morning that my brakes froze up! Scary stuff, basically they just locked and then the car skidded a bit, but luckily I'd been slowing down anyway at a pretty quiet residential road, and it stopped at the junction, so no harm done. Completely forgot what I was meant to do if the car skidded, although remembered something about pumping brakes or something so tried that, then turned the car off and on again (hahaha, just like if there's a problem with my laptop!) and then it was ok. Phew.

What else? No actual teaching today, just DVDs and charades and games and stuff. Year 8 alternative awards assembly was lots of fun. Form were mostly good today, except this morning when I gave out their reports and three of the girls just ripped theirs up and threw them in the bin. They apologised about this later, but still. I can't even imagine ever ripping up a report at school, or even having one so awful that it warranted disposal. Shame.

Apart from that am very much in the festive spirit, looking forward to all the drinks and parties and carols and fun times. One day of school to go, and it's only a half day, yay! Just need to get through 3 hours with my tutor group first...

First Day Back at School

First day back at school today, after the extended hiatus. Pretty good actually, was very cool to be back. Only one truly awful moment where I contemplated running away home, but the rest was ok. I'm doing half-days for the rest of this term and have been relieved of the majority of my tutor responsibilities so that I can ease myself back. Had a return to work meeting where I had to explain what had been wrong with me. Was rather cagey, despite my HoD being there too and him already knowing a bit about it all, but anyway. Am thinking perhaps tomorrow I will come clean a bit more so that in case I lose the plot again they can be prepared.

My Y7s were convinced I'd fainted last week and that was why I'd had to go home. My Y8s were angels and just so glad to learn some maths again. Y10s were a handful - they are so love/hate with me. One sticky moment when I kicked out J after she threw a strop. Was going to turn into a slanging match, but she left. Found out later in the day that during my absence she'd been excluded for breaking another girl in my maths group's nose by punching her in the face. So bad were her injuries that she's had to have reconstructive surgery. Scary. Also got into a battle with L who was passing his mobile phone to the girl behind him and then kicked off when I tried to confiscate it. But mostly the day was ok.

Am having crazy dreams for the two hours I'm getting most nights. Really should bother to keep that mood/sleep diary. Hmmm. Still, I'm glad to be back in the game.

Finally a quote that I saw on someone's Facebook today....

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill

I like that.

Open Evening

Open Evening has come and gone for 2007. Three hundred minutes of intensive "showing and selling". As our principal says, open evening is our "bread and butter". As such, bums on seats is vital.

Over six hundred people visited our little Academy this evening, a huge number. The visitors came in all shapes and sizes: from the Somalian family of 9 people, to the strange same sex couple with a little baby (strange because one woman had very short arms whilst the other made barking type noises), to the decidedly middle class family who wanted little Oliver to spend time in the ghetto to prove they really were left wing.

I spent thousands of words promoting the maths department, the exam results, the new building, the facilities, the resources, the workshops, the extra-curriculars, the pastoral side....the opportunities. It's strange how an evening like this can on the one hand fill you with pride at how much you genuinely care about the school and its kids, and on the other make you feel so cynical about the power of marketing and the way that people rejected us in the past and now that we have all this money they come back running.

The thing that really stood out for me today was our kids. They were just awesome. From little A and D in my Y7 top maths group, both of whom were absolute stars, all the way up to T from Vietnam in my Y12 sociology group, the kids were just awesome. Really did us proud with how they were and who they were. A number of parents remarked on how happy and confident the children were, and it's testament to their own dedication that so many of them came along to help out. A nice warm glow from that.

I guess we'll hear all about the success of the evening in briefing tomorrow. And while it was lovely to wander around the school and see all the exciting things going on, the true test will be whether we finally have a full year 7 in 2008. My money's on over-subscription. Judging by what some of the parents were telling me, it seems many are now desperate to get their kids in, so maybe the dream of a full year will finally come true. But will these new kids get what they deserve?

In other news I have a lurgy and spent Tuesday in bed. This sounds fun, but despite the perfectness of my bed, the lurgy is not a good companion. Lots of wild things happened in school in my absence, particularly my Y10s going a bit mad, and also my tutor group. Crazy "H" has been excluded again, this time for threatening a teacher with a bamboo stick, amongst various other interesting activities. I have a meeting to sort out references for next year. And tomorrow night we have a TF event, and since it's Eid on Friday, we have no school, yay! One day to get through, with a meeting with scary parents at the end of the day of which to look forward. Roll on drinks tomorrow (yeah clearly it will help with the lurgy!)

Hours of Marking!

Just finished marking my Y10 books. Took me almost two hours to get through the 23 books. Calculated that if I have to mark 5 sets of books each week, ranging between 20 and 30 books a set, and each lot takes me approx two hours, well, that's 10 hours and over 100 books being marked each week. 10 hours of marking! That's like a whole extra day of work, not to mention the time I spend on Sundays planning lessons. Gosh! And on top of that is my Y12 sociology group, who are admittedly only 7 students, but they write essays, which takes a good amount of time to assess.

Standard intensity of a school day. Highlights include a bit of a heart-to-heart with "Tall and Moody", reprimanding "Sweet but Annoying Blonde" for "simulating masturbation with a pen" in her maths lesson (yes, you read correctly, that's what it said on the incident report), and confessing my complete inability to deal with my tutor group and the corresponding imminent breakdown to my Head of Year and also the Head of now Y11. Good stuff. Am about to go have some hot chocolate and contemplate a life more ordinary. With less marking.

5th Week Blues

This is going to be a rant about school. Grrr it makes me so cross sometimes. I was going to try and be positive, but I have decided that it would be entirely unfeasible, and fictional even, to try and balance out each sore point with three good things (like we're supposed to balance discipline with praise i.e. 3 positive praises to every 1 telling off), so I will just rant.

I should have known it would be a tough day since I was nocturnal last night and thus bound to be a little wired. Further, my throat is so sore. In fact, it's been like this for ages...so much so that I can't even remember what my voice was like, only that I used to be able to sing much higher and clearer than I can now. Grumble. Anyway, hit the gym, this was good, I liked that, specially since I broke a time.

Arrived at school and my subject mentor informs me that I was in her dream last night. Apparently we were at a building site (maybe the school building site?) and she was watching me reverse my car into one of those JCB digger things. I crashed right into it and then got out and said "oh no I've done it again," while she looked on. I have decided to interpret it as her feeling she is unable to help me stop making the same avoidable mistakes.

Only taught 3 lessons today, and actually they weren't that bad. Was really impressed with my Y8s, where we did geometric constructions (finding perpendicular bisectors and angle bisectors using compasses and rulers) which is a level 6 topic, but they all go it. Y10s managed to work for 45 minutes, although then they started being idiots. Y7s were also great, lots of good work on function machines. Hmmm, so, having reflected on my teaching, I'm not that rubbish at it. I mean, the lessons went well and the kids learnt.

Oh yeah, I remember what made me cross. My sodding tutor group. They are just evil. It was assembly this afternoon, which is basically this huge stress. The kids just cannot cannot behave or be quiet or be orderly, and so I end up looking like a muppet cos my class is out of control. They are driving me up the wall - so so many incident reports, and they just won't listen to me. It's frustrating, I feel full of frustration, and it's exhausting. One of the girls called a boy a "fat c*nt" in assembly; another one is forging her reports; crazy H hit a girl in the corridor; Tall and Moody stormed in and out of the classroom slamming his bag hard against the desk. I'm lost. It's pretty stressful, although I saw two teachers really in tears today, so clearly the tough times are across the board. I was trying to think who I could go to to help me with them, but the new Head of Year doesn't have time, and there's no Head of KS3. My classroom and behaviour control is usually good, I don't know where I'm going wrong. Maybe a new seating plan would fix it...?

I tried calling some of the kids parents. It turns out that Tall and Moody is living in two different houses at the moment, and that school is the only stable thing in his life, so if he occasionally tantrums and storms and swears, well, it's surprising he's holding it together. Ended up counselling his mother a bit, so a bit of a dead-end there. "Blonde Attitude" is like a mini-version of her mother, who appeared to put the phone down on me, so again, no help. Gave up after these two, although I'd made two positive phone calls before the negative ones, so that was ok.

Oh some good news. My mother had the jewelery I bought for her on the weekend checked through and valued, and it's all good, and valued at a third more than I paid :) And we have a nice tasty bottle of red open. Not that drinking through is the answer.

I think it's just a case of 5th week blues. Roll on half-term.

Hurry up holidays!

To echo the sentiments of TeacherMan of thelondonpaper, what on earth is the point of school now? All the GCSE kids are gone, lots are on work experience, the rest are just watching videos and making posters and counting down the days to the summer. Except, of course, when they are causing trouble. Teachers, meanwhile, are entirely exhausted and have become pretty apathetic. Behaviour is just appalling but no-one cares any more. For example, at break today there was a fight in the playground in direct view of the staffroom. Back in March, any sign of a fight and immediately half the staffroom will step up to sort it out. Today, the chorus of excuses was beautiful, ranging from "I'm not here next year so I'm not sorting it out" to "I'm eating my sandwich, they'll have to keep fighting till I finish". On a similar vein, I caught a girl wearing completely bright, and odd, socks, pulled all the way up her calves (not quite part of the uniform) while another girl was actually wearing a trainer on her right foot and a ballet pump on her left. When confronted, both said "but Miss, there's only a week left". I had to concede, the argument was bullet-proof.

In other news, my Y8s made me so cross today that I actually had a mini-breakdown on the phone to Bertie at lunch-time. Thank you Bertie for putting up with my incoherent rambling. I think it's because I can't exercise so all my crossness just builds up inside. Anyway, I feel much better now, but I swear, had one of them pushed me just a little further, well....let's not go there.

Why isn't it summer yet?

SSE Day 4

Mulberry teaches maths in a very hand-ons/investigative type way. Lots of open activities, often involving some kinda colouring in/cutting out/pretty poster making. Not just scissors and glue though - the girls present the work they have done to the class and talk it through, tough stuff for some kids (especially those with EAL) so am impressed by that. And, importantly, all this investigative work leads to lots of lovely posters with which one can decorate the classroom. Kinda made me wish I had a fixed classroom next year so that I could set it up in group-work tables and have pretty displays too.

I watched the Y11 NRA day today (their final Y11 assembly and prize day). It was so beautiful, very emotional, even for me, a complete outsider. The head of Y11 is this super energetic middle-aged African woman, positively bouncing with barmy-ness, amazing! She wore a sari and the bit over her shoulder fell off during her speech and she just laughed it off. Also, upon opening her expensive-looking large ornamental bowl present, she immediately balanced it on her head and remarked "this is how we do it back home". Hahaha. The girls were really well behaved and all looked stunning in their traditional dress. A wonderful speech too from the head prefect. Yet more impressive stuff.

On the other end of the spectrum, I observed period 6 history with 9U. Made me very thankful that we only have one lesson after lunch. Period 6 seems to be a write-off. And these girls were actually pretty awful, well, by Mulberry standards anyway. Very rude and kept talking over the teacher and not doing the work and generally wasting their time. I could feel the rage bubbling in me and was very close to lecturing them all (despite their two other actual teachers being in the room...how could they let the girls behave like that?!). To calm myself I ran through bits of the lecture in my head (basically focusing on the fact that these girls are really privileged and lucky to have the educational opportunities they had, and that if they chose to waste them, well, they would have no-one else to blame when their poor kids ended up in a scummy school like mine). I then walked out.

Only one more day of this SSE, but don't worry, am already lining up a couple of days at my old primary school, yippee! Am helpfully in denial about the whole portfolio and all the tonnes of things I need to sort out to put in it. Also completely ignoring the dread I've got for school next week. Good times.

Mind your f-ing language

Just watched an excellent Cutting Edge titled "Mind your f-ing language". Read the program synopsis here.

Basically it was about a school and it's swearing problems and the approaches it took to solving them. There was no real swearing policy and kids argued that swearing was a way for them to express their feelings. Hidden cameras showed the full extent of their foul language, some of which even made me blush. However, when privately surveyed, many pupils said they would be happier in an environment were swearing was more of a rarity rather than standard noise pollution. Poignantly, one child pointed out that perhaps poverty and injustice were bigger problems in the world than the odd c-word here and there. After consulting specialists and visiting other schools, the focus school implemented a one-week zero-tolerance no swearing policy, the results of which were mixed, but which ultimately led to the introduction of the school's first swearing policy.

The whole program was engaging and well made (clearly I don't get enough swearing at school so I need to watch it in my free time!) and got me thinking about swearing at our Academy. It's pretty low-level in classrooms but the corridors and playgrounds are peppered with colourful expletives. The perpetrators are hardly ever picked up on their language - I'm just as guilty as the rest when it comes to turning a blind eye at the swearing of random children. However, I'm sure it'd be a much nicer and friendlier place if the kids just thought about what they said a bit more carefully. Though that would imply a certain level of maturity not even common in university graduates!

Today was unusual in that there was swearing in both my Y8 and Y11 classes. I think the Y8 one was accidental - we were looking at pictures of cars as part of the car hire investigation and one child said one of the cars was "sh*t", but then clamped her mouth over her hand and apologised profusely. She got a formal warning for that. In the Y11 lesson one girl called a boy a "div" and then when I asked her to leave the room, she started complaining that it was all so "f*cking unfair". She got a full incident sheet for that one.

Anyway, a point was made in the programme that if children swear in the classroom it shows a lack of respect for their learning environment, classmates and teachers. I think I agree with this - I mean, I don't swear at them, no matter how much I want to! In fact my Y11s mock me for saying "whoopsie daisy" when I drop something, and my Y7s know they can't even say "crap" in front of me. But still, from tomorrow I think I will up my position on this.

Finally, this week is the last for Y11s before study leave. You'll be pleased to know that three of my kids forgot to bring their practice papers, thus completely missing the point of today's lessons. Worse, two of them proceeded to have a spirited conversation about farts and how best to release them in a formal setting. I was not pleased but frankly have given up trying to make them understand that perhaps GCSEs are a bit more important than they seem to think. I'd hate for them to learn their lessons the hard way, but I fear they may have to.

How the other half learns

"Little Angel" J in Y7 was true to her word and didn't turn up to school today, excellent, thus giving me back an hour of my life. Apparently her mother is punishing her poor behaviour by keeping her at home - kinda like an exclusion set by the parents. She seems to think this punishment will help her behave better, but I'm not convinced. Clearly she will just save all her wildness and bring it all back to school with her.

So anyway, I had an hour back, and I could have used it profitably e.g. by marking my Y7 tests, by entering my Y8 reports into the system, by planning lessons, by sorting out my teaching file. What did I chose to do? Drink tea. Yay!

Rant alert! Not looking forward to trekking it to Canterbury tomorrow, grumble grumble grumble. They don't want us to be late, so they decide to hold the session 3 hours away from my house, boooo!

On a more positive note, teachers make sure you watch How the other half learns on Channel 5, 8:00pm this Weds - looks very interesting and will no doubt inspire you to run away to a nice private school! I'm not sure if Preston Manor is a TF school but it sounds very similar to one, so anyone who seems to think I make up stories about madness at my school should watch the program and see that I'm telling the truth!

Also check out this article on Teacher Blogs...hahahaha! Wonder how long it'll be before my school gets a blogging policy?

RateMyTeacher.co.uk

Sunday morning. Despite having not yet planned a lesson this weekend, I have been busy busy with other forms of paperwork. I tell you, there is just too much to do alongside actual teaching. So I have prepared a mini-Autograph presentation for our study day in blinking Canters on Tuesday. I have researched investigations for KS3. I have written a template for the Y8 full reports due this Friday, so hopefully I can just change the relevant bits for each kid. I have described my pastoral contribution to the school for my teaching file. Up coming things to do include marking the Y7 end of year tests, completing the risk assessments and sorting out the football team for Tuesday, and administering my detentions.

Yep, detentions are back on the list for this week - I already have 2 hours of them lined up on Monday and Thursday, boo. It's so annoying, when you set a detention you're the one being punished cos you have to sit through each of them. But still, J in Y7 so deserved one for being an absolute monster in a cover PE on Friday. We have new incident sheets where you can tick what the child has done to deserve the punishment, but annoyingly there is no tick box for if the child has just been a complete bitch for no reason. She says her Mum will pull her out of school next week so she won't be at my detention - gosh I hope so.

In other news, heard about this website www.ratemyteacher.co.uk. Can't figure out if it's an excellent teaching evaluation tool or a massive forum for slagging off your school. So far it seems pretty responsible, but then again, my school isn't on it! I did like the suggestion from one of the posters that there should be a ratemypupil.co.uk sister site where the bitching can fully commmence, forgetting all intentions to be a source of constructive feedback.

Have been listening to Virgin radio, this is alarming, there is no ghetto gangsta type music on it, but I am starting to like it. It's better than Sunrise radio at any rate, where this morning there was a wonderful debate about why "british asian youth want to be gangsters". Lots of enthusiastic middle aged men called up and complained how kids just aren't the same these days. Seems Asian kids are just as bad as the rest of them. Any hint of a constructive solution? Well, one man suggested we bring back heavy industry so that these good for nothing boys have something to do. Another suggested that we teach them to fight with their hands and for something that matters so that they could be real men. Not quite sure either of those will quite thwart the rising gangsta culture in Asian communities.

Builders Builders

It is 10:30am. I am trapped in my room and so have been inspired by our "house guests" to compose this little poem.

Builders builders
Like strange pasty aliens
They sing out of tune
From 7:42am.

Builders builders
More tea? Already?
Why don't you do some work?
Quietly.

Builders builders
Stealers of hot water
From the shower and my mug
Give me back my coffee.

Builders builders
Brick by brick
Build this prison
Good and strong

So that we are together
Forever
Lost
In building junk.

Given that I'm purporting to be an education blogger, here's something from the BBC on discipline. But really, it's all about the builders today.

Yippeeeeeee!!

Yes, that yippee can only be about one thing...making it to Easter break! I am patting myself on the back as I speak, making it a little difficult to type. Indeed, there were occassions during this term where I doubted I would make it, but good thing time just kept on rolling forward. And now here we are with a glorious two weeks off!

The kids were absolutely lovely today, perhaps because we had "fun" lessons and it was a half day. I bonded with my Y11s and joked with the Y9s, which was ace. The KS3 and KS4 assembly singing went great, I'm still on a high from it! The kids were all so excited and joined in with Stand By Me and we all danced around on stage too, it was so funny! We even had kids waving their hands side to side like in concerts and ooooohing with the backing singers. Aside from the staff band, there were some excellent singing and drama pieces from Y10 and Y11, plus everyone got a Cadbury's Creme Egg at the end of it (bribery from SLT, but whatever!). We got everyone outta school by 2pm and then it was bliss. So, yes, we ended on a high.

In other news, on Thursday I caught some Y10s bunking maths by hiding in the fire exit. The whole area stank of skunk and so I filled in a report suspecting them of using drugs in school. Obviously they ran away before I could get SLT to check their bags, and obviously they are denying it, but if they get an exclusion for this, that'll take my tally to seven. This will leave me needing three more to get to my year end target of contributing to ten exclusions (temporary, not permanent). Sure, it's awful to aim for something like this but if you think of it as enforcing discipline, well, it's not so bad. Plus, seriously, how audacious - to bunk maths and then take drugs during the lesson instead, shocking!

I'm on my way out now, but some solemn advice for the TFs can be found here (read particularly the first comment - that guy is clearly a bit of an English teacher). And also check out the video below of kids from my school. They're all from the year before I started, but it'll give you an idea of what they're like. Am especially made all warm inside by the backing track to the piece, and also that some of them were sweet enough to have made it.

New words

I am learning from Intimacy. Check out these exciting new words:

"Unlike me she doesn't constantly lucubrate on the splendours and depths of her mind."
"But to keep everything going she can be bullying and strict, with a hard, charmless carapace."
"I have wavered, vacillated and searched myself for a reason to stay."

Actually, I guess I'm not really learning just yet as I don't know what these words mean. Answers on a postcard. Or in a comment.

In other news, D is behaving much better after being put on maths department report...fingers crossed he stays well behaved. Y11 parents' evening tonight went pretty well; most people seemed to believe I was a teacher, which is promising :) Spent period 1 in the first aid room learning about medical care at school. Also got in touch with the good people at Forest to organise a little visit back to my alma mater. Risky since once I see how "nice" teaching could be, will life in the academy ever be able to compare?

The start of term...

...has been strangely good. Maybe because the kids were only in for 3 days. Whatever, I was pleasantly surprised. Not that I was dreading going back or anything...

Friday was full of good drama highlights. I was on duty at break in the playground and some Y9 boys had brought in Chinese firecrackers and proceeded to set them off in front of everyone. Despite not being an expert on the school rules, I was pretty certain that this was against them, and so I had to spend lots of valuable time chasing the boys. Excellent. Then, at lunchtime, I headed into the maths block to set up for my lesson and there were kids smoking in the hallway. INSIDE! How daring. They obviously ran away, so again I had to do some chasing. Honestly, these kids, why can't they stay out of trouble? Still, it was kinda funny.

In other news, I am going to pick up my piano today, awooohooo! Also, my brother says he is going to buy me a bop-it, which is also good news. These things are amazing - Disneys in particular will love it; a very worthwhile investment with hours of pointless fun right at your fingers (not that you don't have this already, nudge nudge wink wink...heehee. Although, Mouche, the pile of stuff is lots of fun too. My GCSE Geography coursework is currently on the top, though I think the Over Head Projector writing kit might soon take the much coveted pole position).

Right that is all. Oh, except I love the Docklands, they are so pretty.