The new nest!

Monday of 4th week.

Some points of note:

1. We have moved into our new NEST! Hurrah! The move was a bit of a stress, but much better than it could have otherwise been. I woke up at 7am that morning and we just about finished unloading the last lot at the new place around 11:30pm - looooong day! Luckily no snow and minimum iciness (although enough for the GIANT hired van to get stuck in college!) We now realise we have a lot of stuff, but already our nest looks good and homely and we are going to make it even nicer. I'm excited to be doing this!

2. Spurs drew with Arsenal after a dreadful performance from the Gunners (including Eboue being sent off for being just persistently annoying and naughty). Why Spurs couldn't capitalise on the full three points I just don't know - they had so many shots and attempts but just couldn't break through.

3. I want to mention the GIANT van again, just cos I'm so pleased that I could drive it ok, albeit with X dealing with my freakouts about whether it could fit in gaps, whether I was reversing it ok, where the petrol tank was etc. It's cool to be driving up from a high position, and also it was surprisingly manoeuvrable! I named her Blizzy. Diesel-wise she was excellent value - used up £20-odd of fuel having driven all over London and back and forth from Oxford, plus a few little drives. Good stuff.

4. SO much to do this week and I think there'll be even more next week, but I just don't really have time what with trying to sort the nest out, a knee appointment on Weds, and lots of social stuff. Still, am looking forward to V-Day next weekend!

5. Our battle with LMH/T was cancelled due to more crazy snow. It's on for next weekend though, I wonder if I should play...?

Ok I'm going to go and make us some dinner so we'll be nice and energised for more nest-organising. Hope all is well with you.

SO MUCH SNOW!

SNOW. That is all that we have at the moment.

My relationship with snow is pretty turbulent. Up and down, love and hate, right and wrong. And more annoying opposites.

Right now I am not happy with the snow. It is stressing me out as moving weekend is here and moving is going to be tricky. BUM.

What else? Very hectic week. All my essays were written in dramatic last minute/pressured fashion. Wrote possibly my worst essay of the term at 1pm today in 55 minutes after having a super long journey from London to Oxford because of our good friend, SNOW. Oh and also the Oxford Tube, which has become a bit substandard. Anyway am glad classes are done for the week, and also that Sociological Analysis is nearly done as the class has become really tedious, mainly cos it's a massive lecture, but also cos our essay topics are really odd and so it's difficult to well in them.

Went to X's father's birthday dinner last night, was very nice, we had Indian food. I like going out for Indian food, partly cos it's ironic, partly cos restaurant Indian food is different to actual Indian food. I liked the "manly flowers" I took X's dad - I think men should get flowers too.

Aaah packing, I knew there was something I had to do. How can I avoid it? Maybe whoever gets my room will want my stuff and then I can buy all new stuff??

So the next time I post it'll hopefully be from our new nest :) Wish us luck!

What's been going on?

Wow, it's been aaaaages since I last posted! What's been going on, you may well ask. Well, I've been super busy with academic work and then extra-curriculars in my spare time, so really I've just had no time.

Work's been going well - our schedule is pretty packed and there's loads of work to do, but I'm trying to be disciplined and stay on top of it. It's really interesting though and I think I'm doing well so far so that's good.

Been spending lots of time with X and also playing a bit of footy (naughty, I know, I really shouldn't, but I want to so much!) and also doing lots of reffing (I can't really not ref as I need the spending money). All in all things are well. Except I have a cold, but fingers crossed that'll pass soon.

Have thought a bit about my thesis, but not so much as to actually be able to do anything with it yet. Am thinking now thinking about finding out the value of the A-Level with regards to those people who do their A-Levels but then don't go on to uni - does it make them more productive/able to demand a better wage/get a better job? Could be interesting and there's probably a lot of analysis I could do there.

Went to the fruit & veg market in Gloucester Green this morning, which was ace since I hadn't been there for years. Bought lots of good stuff, which bodes well for my new "cooking regime" (a bit of experimentation never hurt anyone...so long as food poisoning can be protected against!)

Right, have just finished up my STATA (IT statistics programme) project so am gonna reward myself with a bit of MOTD - Spurs drew with Arsenal in a super dramatic game, woohoo!

Highlights from the week

I'm putting off the gym for 20 more minutes because it's been a whole week and no blogging action from me. Time to update this wonderful record of my rambley life.

Good things from the week:

• 8E stepping up for sports day and doing the business (every single kid in the tutor group bar one took part in one event or another, excellent...fingers crossed we finish well in Year 8)
• non-uniform day - yeah I got to wear flip flops!
• playing tangrams and Nubble Express with loads of my classes (hope I haven't started the "fun lessons" too soon)
• telling all my classes that I'm leaving and them all being sad about it - maybe I'm a good teacher after all
• teaching 8E a PSHE lesson based on the role of education in society (something that I taught my Y12s in AS Sociology) and having them respond really well to it
  
• spending most of my weekend with X, and also a midweek meet-up too - aaaah it makes me happy. As does winning two pairs of knickers in a bet over dominoes
• reverse parking into a tight tight spot the first time round, and then being told by the parking attendants that I was the best lady parker they'd seen all morning
• the end of year staff boat party - a free bar = shocking hangover, but it was loads of fun to celebrate the almost end of year with my colleagues. Not to mention getting muchos compliments for my "bap dress"
• having the new TF maths teacher in for his London week, and hearing that having watched all the maths teachers teach, the one he most wanted to be like was me!
  
• seeing my American friend Braden from my summer at Dartmouth, and also reunion-ing with all the kids from our exchange that year
• our final TF workshop, which was a bit lame, but so ace to see all of our year, and also to know that we've almost completed the programme, yeeehaaaa!

Not-so-good things

• not getting the money back from that ridiculous Wing Security towing my car away - grrrr
• being so busy that all the mundane chore type stuff has just not been done
• having to a learning log (boring)
• still not knowing about my knee operation and so not being able to book anything proper for the summer
• waiting for my WWOOF-ing booklet so I can finally contact some people about that

Aside from that, it's been a stellar week, I'm feeling awesome and happy! Five days of school to go, which will be crazy and emotional, but this time next week, well, I'll be at a colleague's BBQ celebrating the end of a mini-era. Hope all is well with you.

Too busy to mark, heehee

Wow, it's been AAAGES since I posted on here. Bad me, whoops. I have been truly busy busy. Hmm.

I am busy today too, I have just decided not to do any of my work. This is a mistake, clearly, since I have no other evenings free this week. Whoops again.

So what's new? 8 teaching days to go, woo hoo! School is as nuts as usual, all the kids are behaving either really well, or really badly. Loads of my tutor group are being naughty, but my Y10s are a little better. My Y12s are lovely, we discussed Marxism and feminism today, and they became all argumentative and then cynical, it's great to see them connecting with the arguments.

I'm being observed lesson 4 on Thursday, great. I haven't planned a lesson yet. Tomorrow night it's the launch of TF Advocates - a mentoring programme for gifted and talented Y12s to help them with uni applications. Should be good. Have Y12 parents' evening on Thursday too, more great. I don't think ANY books are going to get marked this week. Also, I have no time to go to the gym.

It's weird, I seem to alternate between extreme leisure/fun time and just loads of school work. I have taken to spending almost all my spare time with X, which is awesome. We went to Stonehenge weekend just gone, was properly cool, those stones are HUGE! Also saw a poor adaptation of Love in the Time of Cholera and an excellent version of The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency. I enjoy my time off so much that the time at work and during the week have become even tougher to get through because I compare it constantly with how happy I could be if it was the weekend.

I'm going to Toronto at the spring break, great! That's a genuine great :) Apart from that, I've been spending a lot of thinking time having minor panics about my life and my decisions and the future. As soon as the panic leads to a shortness of breath, I disengage. I wonder what will happen when I really think about these things?

I guess I better start planning that lesson, especially since I've already accidentally had a two-hour nap, so sleeping now is probably not an option.

Will do my best to update more regularly, who cares about marking?

Saturday morning - don't want to work yet

I am procrastinating. It is going well. The lesson planning, however, is not.

This week has been really busy. Now that I finally have a chance to sit and reflect for a bit, I am taking it, and thus struggling to actually do the things I am meant to do, and have to do, today.

Highlights and lowlights include the TF Women in Leadership Event on Weds. It was that event last year that sparked my demise in teaching, in that S and I went out on a bender and then school became tough. Not that the two events are directly correlated. The speakers were good. One was hilarious - she kept making random outlandish statements, and actively contradicting other speakers and putting them down. I think all people named Julia are a bit eccentric. The overall message was that we had to compromise and prioritise, but we could get what we wanted so long as we were driven enough. Never heard that one before(!) Saw a friend from uni afterwards - she's on a year abroad and she reads this I think, so here's your name check R...was good to see you, hope things are chirpy!

I forget about people who don't have to work the next day, and thus try and drink with them, error. I really should learn that mid-week fixtures are for the most part just not on. Thursday day-time was a right-off, which was unfortunate since I had a parents' evening. That was a nightmare - Y8, so my maths group AND my tutor group. Was still there after 9pm having done 150 mins of solid speaking to various concerned/irate parents. Also I thought some of the kids in my tutor group had given me their disgusting eye infections, but fingers crossed I have escaped.

What else? Teaching was ok, standard dramas, manageable. Oh, except the whole "failing the year" thing, but I've decided to ignore that for now. Had a lovely dinner with the girls last night, some good chatter and gossip + managed to deflect any serious chatter that was aimed my way (although they did pin me down in the end). I love going out for Indian food, it's ace, particularly when it's really good food, yum yum.

Ok, I think I'll book my April escape to Toronto now. It IS on the to-do list, so I don't think it counts as a distraction.

Quick Ramble

My job is being advertised in the TES - wow, kinda final huh? I'm glad glad though, phew, means my department will be sorted for September.

Aaargh, I'm so tired. I should learn that drinking on Sunday always makes me feel rough on Monday.

8E were naughty today, I can't control them, and now without a Head of Year, it's even tougher. Am starting not to care though. Bad bad. I have 81 more teaching days to go, I have to keep caring. Can see it slipping though. For example, I no longer set detentions for missed homework with my Y10s - partly because they don't come, partly because it's not worth the battle, partly because it means I can mark the books faster because fewer students have done the work. JADED.

What else? Horoscope here...

Bitter experience has taught you that, thrilling as others’ descriptions of ideas, ventures or even intriguing individuals may be, you must check things out yourself. Still, the dramatic changes ushered in by the Virgo eclipsed Full Moon two weeks ago got you wondering whether you’ve been overly cautious. You have. And if you refuse to go along with this week’s developments, you’ll not only miss out on worthwhile information about what’s happening, you could also miss out on the opportunities they bring. During periods of transition such as this, there are no guarantees. Stick with things that are certain and you’ll soon be watching others overtake you in the fast lane.

My gosh, take a risk, leave the plan, stop being cautious...are they talking about Virgos?

And finally, heard the new Kooks song, good fun indeed.

Roll on the busy busy week - but first, BED.

PS It's National Bed Month!

Another hectic day

This is my 299th post, how exciting! I'm meant to be marking Y12 essays now, but I'd rather be on here, rambling. We have had people round for dinner, and I have had the busiest day, with lots of drama and ups and downs.

Good stuff:

• persuading "R" in my tutor group to attend a long overdue detention
• getting "H" to realise it is wrong to shout "waste man" into someone else's class
• counselling 5 members of staff
• having my medic friends in to speak to Y12
• hitting the gym hard
• sorting out the LRC book list
• teaching 3 good lessons, including a great one with Y10
• finishing marking all my maths books for the week

Room for improvement:

• having one of my colleagues in tears in my classroom about a child abuse case, and then hearing about two more, and then realising how f*cked up so many of our kids' lives are, and feeling entirely drained by not being good enough for them
• hearing another colleague has handed in his resignation after just 3 weeks on the job because the kids are just too hardcore, and he misses home
• my Y8s kicking off - top set and everything, but going over a test that they all messed up is never fun
• meeeeeetings - on and off and on and off, can't they make up their minds?
• knowing I have SUCH a busy day tomorrow
• missing a TLG, when I like sharing my wisdom with the young 'uns

BUT that's ok, it's the weekend! Almost. And at least my dramas are minor compared to some other peoples. Plus my horoscope said just close my eyes and go with it. Ok then.

Finally, a joke from the Marmite bottle: "Doctor doctor, I can't stop eating Marmite on toast". "I know, and I think it's spreading". Hahaha.

Naughty tutor group

I just re-read my last post about being gloriously unbusy and having finished all my work. Is that still true? Errrr, no! I am cream-crackered and have about 50 books to mark. Boo!

Why do I have so much work today? Because I did none last night, because I was busy watching Spurs thrash Arsenal, woooo! What an awesome game, I can't believe it, 5-1?! That's insane scoring, especially against Arsenal. I'm so pleased, we're finally gonna play in a Cup Final at Wembley, wow. Perhaps still a bit in shock.

Accidentally got a bit drunk last night with X, we drank our way through the Australian beers. Not too much, but enough to be dehydrated and mildly hungover. Also, decided it'd be a good idea last night when I got home to tidy up stuff, stupid idea, mainly because then I only had four hours sleep. Why do I keep forgetting that teaching tired and hungover is not fun? I need to make a sign and carry it around to remind me of this important fact.

Today was dramatastic, properly dramatastic, school-wise. Yesterday one of the Y8s told me to "get out my f*cking face" and we had a massive long department meeting, so that wasn't fun. So today the fall-out. Had to chase up the exclusion for this girl, plus at the meeting it was decided that I'd do all the maths book ordering for the new library, except the deadline to sort this out was today, whoops. Despite having two free periods today, I spent all my time chasing up kids. My tutor group have gone nuts. Some highlights from today:

• "A" got in a fight at lunchtime with a Y7. A is a good girl, I don't know what happened there.
• "S" called an English teacher a "f*cking rude git". Consequently her and three others were kicked out of their English lesson so we had to spend a free lesson sorting that out.
• "H" was caught tearing around the school, and then spent a further 10 minutes giving the 2nd in Science and the security people the run around, before finally being caught.
• Another "A" has picked up two hours of detention in maths for being badly behaved, so I had to call her mum.

On top of that I have something like 15 incident reports for various kids and it's only Wednesday. Being a tutor is a serious full-time job, especially with all the drama. There's no time to sort them all out properly. Like today I wanted to spend some time with "S" as she has to see a counsellor tomorrow, plus she's worried about being excluded for her swearing, but there was just no time. I wish I could be there for them a bit more.

Lessons were ok mostly, except Y9, two kids were upsetting each other, then one started crying and hid under his jacket, more drama. During break duty there was a bit of chaos in the dining hall, and "D" in Y11 said "you are so f*cking hype man" to me when I wouldn't let him storm back out the doors. So much swearing today, why do they think it's ok to do this?

On the plus side, Mos came to speak to VIth form, that was really good, except he kept calling me by my first name in front of the kids, which was really funny. And also because I took him up to my classroom afterwards, and I had lots of my "silly" kids in detention, and they spent all their time and energy winding him up and me up, asking us if we were a couple, whether we fancied each other etc. Actually that was quite funny, if only they knew eh?

In an ideal world I'd go to bed now and get some rest. Or I'd go to the gym and have a good work out. But instead I have to mark my Y8 tests and think about my higher education meeting tomorrow. Oh and the book list. Oh and the risk assessment. I think I may be TOOOOOO busy. Good thing I am blogging instead. About another stay day.

A better day

Surprise surprise I slept last night. But only after I had resolved to hand in my resignation today. Obviously that didn't happen - when my Head of Department came to check on me at about 8am, I completely bottled it, and said all was fine. This was despite having a near hysterical drive into school, where I think I was on auto-pilot since I don't know how I got there, my brain was entirely occupied by thoughts of running away to France. It seemed like the perfect idea at the time.

I feel weird today. Like I can't tell if I'm being normal or not. I know I'm probably not because half the people who spoke to me today (by people I mean teachers) were asking me why I wasn't so jolly, whilst the other half were most likely overwhelmed by my general bounciness. Oh gosh, I just realised that I need to DO SOME WORK. I am being observed tomorrow, and also I have to mark lots of books, rubbish. That said, today was a day to stay for.

Maybe I will have a shower first. Woo, it's almost the weekend!

Lots of Stuff

I am in love with the short-stories at www.meandmygoldfish.com. I have only read them, I've not even listened to or watched them yet, but they are amazing. Enough to make me proud to be a Goldfish card owner, albeit in the disguise of a Morgan Stanley Platinum.

I have just been reading the one about the sleep-deprived people. I am liking hyphens today by the way. Entirely sleep deprived. Think I got about two hours, plus woke up in a cold sweat. Not good.

Have had 5 hot drinks today. School was good actually. Despite yawning in the car on the way to school, I was in the zone by 8am and worked through solidly till after 5pm. Literally. Ran some errands and got home by 6pm. Took an hour off to read the papers, play my piano and have some dinner. Then did two hours of marking. And I'm still not properly tired. So essentially I am going to have to trick myself into sleeping because I have the loooongest day ever tomorrow - an 8am knee scan in Romford all the way to the staff meeting/training that will end at 7pm. Then marking. Whoop.

New homework strategy working a treat i.e. set less homework, and stuff they can actually do. Thus far more ticks and far fewer corrections. Did two sets of books today :) Wish I'd thought of the strategy before setting Y10 work, especially since one of the things they had to do was calculate "the shaded area" except my dodgy photocopying meant the shading didn't come through.

Speaking of Y10, we did some group work today, was really good. Room was noisy, but lots was done by most kids. Had one altercation with a girl, but I won, and she will conform, I am not compromising.

And on the line of altercations, crazy H is up to know good, and I am very worried about S. We tried to have a talk at the end of the day, and she just shut down. H, on the other hand, didn't turn up for his detention even though I had his bag hostage. Weirdo. And poor J is getting picked on - there are rumours flying around about her, poor girl, the silly kids don't even understand what they are saying or how offensive it is.

In other news, my favourite word today is JUMBLE, it has a great sound to it, JUMBLE JUMBLE JUMBLE. And also the name Khalil, although it's a Muslim name so not sure it's appropriate for my unborn sons. And on the subject of kids, my Y12s asked me how many I wanted today, and we had a nice chat. They say they can tell I am around 23/24. Smart kids. Not sure whether I should keep revealing personal details to them, where's the boundary?

If Spurs buy Downing we will go down the pan. Hope we beat Reading tomorrow.

Ramble done.

Happy Holidays!

That title sounds ridiculously American. Obviously I mean Merry Christmas.

I love the festive period. Been rushing around like a mad thing, generally loving the good times. Nothing too imaginative to report, just that I'm really enjoying the break, and thinking of school makes me cringe, so I'm ignoring it. Have decided that despite having to go back to school on the 2nd, the kids aren't in until the 7th, so really I'm on holiday until the 7th, and so will behave accordingly. Heehee.

Simply Red Stars is playing on the radio. I know exactly what he means. Am completely falling for X, in a scary/exciting way. I don't want to be soppy and silly, but really, I'm so consumed by this, I'm all at sea. I should practice my swimming.

Busy and Yay it's the weekend!

Wow. Busy. And rather sleep-deprived. Currently getting more sleep during the old afternoon nap than actually at night. Oh dear.

School is good. Kids are being good. Well, at least they're responding to my authority for the most part. Lots of form related drama from the usual suspects, but now that I have a co-tutor supporting me things are loads better.

Been out a fair bit. Won a Scrabble game on Weds with a bingo after trailing for most of it. That's just how I like to win. Woke up with a minor whisky hangover, then remembered the various mini-dramas of the night including digging a hole for myself with a the potential future employer, and also the consequences of my various delayed-spontaneous moments (is that an oxymoron?). In fact had rather vivid nightmares that night, which only really feeds the drama rather than stops it. I would detail the nightmares here, but I think you'd probably flip out.

Solution was obviously to race myself through school and then check out The Golden Compass, which was really good, although you'd have to be really on-the-ball to understand what was going on if you hadn't read the book. Written version infinitely better, but the film was well made and lots of really good acting, particularly from the children. Occasional moments of over-the-top cheesiness, but loved all the action, and now want a daemon more than ever. And an armoured bear. Also went to a place called Satsuma, worth it just for the name, tasty food, it's now on the list.

What else? One week of school to go. Going to a Christmas party tonight, gonna do my best not to be hungover tomorrow, fingers crossed!

Sunday Funday

It's Sunday night. Am I lesson planning? Errrr NO! Hahaha, it's half-term, I don't have to! Enjoying these days off so much is probably going to come back and bite me seriously hard in the ass, but oh well.

I am feeling pretty damn good, I think it's something to do with a quality gym session, gorgeous olive ciabbatta, good coffee and chocolates, Sunday papers, wearing jogging bottoms all day, many other things too.

Perhaps it also has something to do with not being hungover. A typical holiday will usually start with a lash, but I have managed to keep it respectable. This is despite losing the rugby last night, oh dear, sad stuff. Commiserations also to Lewis Hamilton, what a shame there, although as my father pointed out, F1 isn't a proper sport and seriously damages the environment for no good reason, so maybe I don't feel as bad there.

Anyway, I sense this jolly mood may soon be diminished as even though I have good intentions for a relaxing week, these intentions will not be realised. I'm a bit too busy for my own good, with drinking opportunities aplenty. Further to that, I have decided it will be good to plan an entire half-term's worth of lessons (that's almost 150 hours of teaching!), catch up all my marking, AND complete and submit my university applications. Not to mention tomorrow is completely taken up with the Civil Service Sector day. I think the week will go before I know it. Doesn't matter though, after such a lovely chilled day today doing all the things I like on a Sunday, a little bit of hard work won't hurt.

And finally, I am convinced Matthew Tait and Daniel Radcliffe are long lost brothers...what do you reckon?

Naughty naughty

I got home at 1pm today. That was not part of the plan. I think I am officially a filthy-dirty stop-out for the the second day in a row.

Before I start my reflections aka self-ranting on the weekend, just a helpful hint to anyone looking for educational content in this post - there will be none. Except perhaps ideas for a behaviour support plan for myself.

Thursday night - BITC presentation. Might have gone better if I'd actually looked at the presentation any time before 4 minutes to kick-off, but anyhoo. Am pleased with my blagging skills and feel that while the content of my chatter was a bit wayward, the banter kept it entertaining. Drinks after and then slightly tipsy book marking, a good look.

Friday night - Steve's 25th (can't believe people are turning 25!) party at The Loop. This place is a vortex for me, there is just no way I can control myself in there. Not sure the Canadian Club helped. Had a good time with the Curly-Haired one, he makes me laugh. One of the many people I am confusing this weekend, excellent, clearly messing people around is a forte. Needless to say I am not following up on that.

Saturday, absolutely knackered and hungover. Spent most of the day swanning around. Managed to do my ironing and make a "student of the week" poster.

Saturday night - Krazy's birthday at his Notting Hill pad, very nice. Despite best intentions to get there early and get home early, the cheeky glass of wine with a matey beforehand warmed me up nicely and I decided instead to go on the rampage. Luckily Sanju was there to help me feel like my general poor behaviour was not as juvenile/ridiculous as it obviously was. She is such a role model, hahaha. Got on swimmingly with Krazy's sister, told her I was going to marry her little bro (news to her and to Krazy!), and then proceeded to flirt outrageously with her husband's brother. He was tri-lingual, you know I love words and he has three times as many, how could I resist? Before we got too friendly I figured it'd be a good idea to check on Sanju, given that we'd lost her about 2 hours earlier. Found her asleep in a room, and decided I should take a cheeky nap too, since it was probably bad form to fall asleep on the boy. Woke up in a minor panic at about 6am, when I realised the bedroom had got mighty cosy with two more entrants, and also that I was wearing someone else's top. Denial was the only option, just shut my eyes and went back to sleep. Still can't remember much of the night, except that I know I had a dance-off, that I got cross with some boys about something, that Sanju wouldn't let me go to the loo by myself (not because I was incapable, but because she was being a weirdo), and that Krazy called his maid at about 9 in the morning to come and fix the disaster zone (that made me laugh, he is so pampered!)

Sanju and I had a nice brunch in Notting Hill, was delicious, particularly because there was no way any of my kids would walk past and shout "Miiiiisssss!!!" through the door. Then we went to Portobello market, accidentally spent too much money, oh well. Right I am bored of this now. I am going back to bed to reflect on my whirlwindyness. The right thing to do this weekend would have been resting and relaxing. Whoops. Also, I don't think I actually feel that bad about all this, given the slightly comical spin I have given the title of the post. Come on now Miss, be serious.

This Blog is kinda like a Pensieve

I am too busy. Almost to the point where if I think of all the things I have to do, I get dizzy. Thus I have decided it is therapeutic to blog for ten minutes so that I can get rid of lots of things from my head and so give me more space to process new things.

Firstly then, lots of drama in my classes. Have had three girls who, in separate incidents, absolutely lost their marbles with me. I'm coping well with all the negative emotion, phew, deep breath, let it go. At least they may have felt better just raging at me. Anyway, today I had one face-to-face apology, one written letter of apology, and one girl who tried so damn hard in the lesson to make up for it that I let some of it go. Not sure what's been happening with the kids, maybe they're just testing the boundaries?

Last night I went to a TF event on personal presentation. The woman hosting it was a wee bit odd, but I liked that. It was at Freshfields, but since there were no coaches or external "adult" contact type people there, the drinks and nibbles were noticeably absent. Boo. Anyway, the woman made lots of interesting and excellent points on first impressions, self reflection, values, strengths, weaknesses, and something called The Life Balance Wheel (I didn't really get this bit). I gave my tutor group the highlights of it today during an impromptu tutor time - they were quick off the mark, suggesting that people judge on appearance and how they are acting. One of them even pointed out that what you say isn't that important, it's more about how you say it. I was pleased with their thinking.

The woman also mentioned a coupla psychological concepts. The first was leakage whereby your body language gives away what you're really thinking and feeling regardless of what your mouth is saying. The second was the Reticular Activation System (RAS), which sounds like gobbledygook to me, but anyway...it's this thing whereby once you're thinking about something, you notice it more and more because your brain filters out lots of irrelevant things so you focus more on what you're interested in. For example, my father is always thinking about some car or other, and in the weeks leading up to when he actually buys the car, he will see the desired car everywhere, and will remark upon this very point. Similarly then, if you focus on the positives, you become a more positive person.

The last thing that interested me was the work values survey. Very important values to me: creativity, recognition, helping others and society, time freedom, competition, persuading people. Important values to me: learning new things, making decisions, risk, being an expert, pressure, communication, independence, challenge, variety, fast pace, community. Lots of things there. Upon reflection, it seems that teaching can offer me most of these things. Strange that!

What else? Well, my right hamstring is still sore, which means no physical activity, boo. Have SO MUCH marking to do. BITC business-education presentation tomorrow night, minor panic there since I can't view the presentation or remember the case studies, so no idea what I'm supposed to be saying! Have a full day of lessons to plan tomorrow, not sure what I'm teaching there either. Great.

And finally, in the tiny spare bit of thought I have left, well, it's full of people. No, not people, just one person. Ever had it when you've got someone in your head and you just can't get them out? In your head, under your skin, whatever you want to call it. I don't even know how they got there, they just kinda sneaked (snuck?) in and now I am all whirlwindy. This is alarming, I never thought I'd get distracted in this way again. I can't even do anything about it, it's very frustrating. Although now I have written all of this, I have more space in my head to contemplate.

Haha, what a good vague ramble, my favourite type! I'll leave you with two quotes from the presentation woman that I used with my kids today...

None of us is smarter than all of us.

Attitude is infectious - is yours worth catching?

Mega-Tidying!

Sunday afternoon. I have procrastinated enough, time to lesson plan. Ok, in five minutes.

This morning I woke up at 8am and couldn't go back to sleep. This was very annoying since I only got about 4 hours sleep last night, and have a rather shocking sleep debt from the week to pay off. But, despite trying hard to stay in bed, I couldn't. I decided it was time to tidy up my room. Ruthless. Lots of things got thrown away/"demoted" from having a presence in my room. I tidied up both my wardrobes too and sorted out all my tops into categories (Puja, you would be proud!). Then I worked on the the hundreds of books around the room. They are now in neat piles, but on the floor. I contemplated whether to get a bookshelf or not, but then decided it would be tricky to order a bookshelf when a) there is no space for one without ripping out the fitted sections of the room and b) my credit card is blocked out after repeated attempts to guess the pin (it was one of those nights when I was sure to get it right the next time, but alas they only gave me three chances).

Moving from here, I wandered downstairs. I think my mother may have been cross with me for my poor show last night, since there were a gaggle of aunties already in the living room (it was only 10am). Usually turning up in boxers all bleary-eyed for breakfast would be a no-no, but part of the family dynamic is that shame is a good punishment, so to repent for the night before I did my duty and sat with the aunties and did the chatter. What with having tidied up after the party last night and doing the chatter in the morning, well, I think I am back in the good books.

What else? Had a nice piano lesson and completed a full pelt work-out, mainly to neutralise the last two days of wickedness and also to stop myself getting too wired. Sweated out all the alcohol in the sauna (hopefully!) and am now contemplating the lesson planning. If only my enthusiasm for tidying could be replicated for this task. Again, try as I might, I can't push myself to do this. Cup of tea time :)

Saturday night update

It's pretty late, I should be in bed. I need the sleep for all the work I have to do tomorrow. Work doesn't always mean bad things. For example, I think of piano lessons and gym sessions as work, and I have to do both of those tomorrow, but I like them. However, there is some work that I definitely don't like that I also have to do tomorrow. Lesson planning, yuck. GS Leadership Log, double yuck. Education - Business presentation, triple yuck. If I didn't have to do all the extra work that is associated with the whole TF experience, I'd only be on one yuck, instead of six. Some nice algebra there.

Still, mustn't complain, currently I feel like I can battle all this work, complete it all, tick it off the list, and then spend time gloating and being satisfied that my "to do" list is done. I like this feeling.

In other news then, the inspection, well, terrible. Was 10 mins late for the lesson with my mad Y7s. The groups hadn't been set yet and so it was entirely mixed ability, except by mixed I mean on the one hand kids that can add 7 to a number, and on the other, kids that can barely count or spell the word number. Inspector went to hell and back with his post-lesson chatter. Essentially I think I flopped because I just don't know the kids yet, I don't know where to pitch the level, I don't know who is capable of what, or where to provide extra support. I'd only taught that class four times previously, there were 31 kids in the group anyway, and as a final excuse, well, I had no information on them and we hadn't had a formal maths lesson yet, so of course it wasn't going to be perfect. Still, it felt bad not to have a good opportunity to show off my potential.

Crazy H in my tutor group is being excluded for 3 days next week. His latest offences include kicking other students, threatening to burgle the house of an LSA, and bringing hardcore pornography into lessons. Bless him. I just want to hug him since he's an angel with me and cares about how Spurs are doing. He's really messed up and there's no-one really there to help him. Sad as it sounds, I can't see him lasting to Y11 at this rate.

This morning I woke up with a cracking hangover. The older I get the worse they are. Even if I don't drink that much. Last night was great, lots of good times with various TFers over the night, plus bumped into two old friends too, what are the chances? Obviously today was written off, except I did manage to get some tat for the kids as prizes for next week. Scented highlighters, glitter pens, and lollipops...surely that is incentive enough to try and stay off report all week?

And finally, I missed most of a dinner party tonight, naughty naughty. Was out drinking with the Furies, which I loved for the most part. It's not the same though, there's just too many rocks beneath the waves for it all to flow smoothly. I dunno, I don't want to waste too much emotion on it all, it's time to cut lose and leave it to mend itself. It's weird though, I can feel myself actively pulling away, it's sad, these people were my good friends, but now I find it hard to imagine ever having again what we had had.

So, to bed I guess. To ponder. To ponder is to dream, right? Or have I got that wrong...

Whirlwindy

Helllooooo!

I am alive, have just been crazy busy with:

• inspections (oh dear, don't ask)
  
• marking
• getting older (and not wiser)
• TF events
• my naughty form group, in particular crazy "H"
• breaking up fights
• shouting at kids (husky voice anyone?)
  
• coaching footy (awesome new Y7 players)
  
• chewing gum detentions
• wedding receptions (still not mine, despite the best efforts of my folks!)
  
• staff meetings
• playing scrabulous (gosh, I'm addicted I think!)

Will give you an update on the weekend, hope you are all well and less "whirlwindy" than me.

Q-U-A-L-I-F-I-E-D-!!!!

Swap driver for teacher. Woohoo! Not a fraud any more, no more pretending, it's true, I am a real proper qualified teacher :)

Strange, I don't look any different. Maybe I will have to get a QTS tattoo across my forehead to prove it.

Canters was ace, so much fun, I am back in love with the whole TF experience. Will tell the tales really soon, but right now am knackered and have to prepare for business school tomorrow.

Holidays schmolidays, I am clocking hours like it was a school day. At least I get to drink though!

Still not finished Harry Potter, but nearly....

Miss P QTS, sounds good eh?