First day and I need a break!

I feel bad for anyone that has to see me straight after a tough day at school. Today's innocent victim was Jadey Bladey - thank you for putting up with my incoherent rambling.

School is always extremes with me - bits I love and bits I hate. Firstly, two things I loved from the day. In Year 7 PSHE the students had to write a little note to two adults and two kids who had made them feel good about stuff since September, and I got a note from little Daniel, who I chose to help me at Open Evening, and who apparently thoroughly appreciated the opportunity. This was sweet. Then my Y12 sociology lesson today was just great, the kids were really into it, it was banterful but we got a lot of work done too, nice.

Two things I hated from today. My Y10s were just uncooperative today, persistently talking and off task and rude and time wasting, was really frustrating. Worse than that, my tutor group. They are driving me up the wall, it's like whatever I do with them, they still walk all over me. I get really cross and worry I will eventually resort to kiddie tactics e.g. giving them the cold shoulder, shouting back at them. They would love that.

I wonder if there is any job where one regularly has to put up with pretty harsh emotional trauma from people one is supposedly there to help? After a bad tutor session with them I feel like jacking it all in, well, at least the tutoring side of things. It also makes me realise I could never be like someone in Spooks - if I can't deal with pressure from 13 year olds, how can I deal with international master criminals? I spend a lot of time thinking about what I am doing wrong, but am yet to come up with a solution. It doesn't help that my FB horoscope says "It's ok to take the easy way out this time. Don't make things more complicated than they need to be. The simplest solution is often the right one". So give up the tutor group?

Thought I'd end with this story I got emailed today, it's pretty deep...

There was once a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the back of the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learnt to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the little boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails had gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said "You have done well, my son, but look at all the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry' , the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one." Friends are very rare jewels indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us.

Some thoughts on Y10

I think I am finally taking that long awaited "stress-day". Much vaunted over the last two terms, it is now time. Excellent. Oh it's a slipppery slope though, now that I'll do it once, it means that I can do it again. Kinda like Pringles, dangerous. I am still annoyed at myself that I need to do this, but I think it's the best plan.

In other news, have sorted out my second school placement at Mulberry School for Girls in Stratford. It's an all girls state school with a HUGE ethnic minority percentage and a VIth form too - should be educational.

And finally, it's been about 5 lessons since I've been with top set Y10, and I'm still not impressed. Given that when we were in Y10 we were actually sitting our GCSEs, I am a bit concerned at this lot.

There are one or two in that class that seem to be real stars at maths, but they're nothing like the Y9. In fact, there are a good few "strange ones" in that class, and the general behaviour, motivation, attitude etc. is all a little bit sub-standard. Our HoD has been working really hard with that group, but I've noticed really that Y10 as a whole year group are actually quite a lot of trouble - there are a lot of kids in that year that don't seem to have learning as a priority. And that's besides all the messed up families, SEN issues, and usual teenage turmoil.

Perhaps the Mayfield data handling coursework project isn't really showing them off in their best light as yet, but still...let's just say I'm glad they're not really my class. Oooh but one funny thing in that lesson - one of the boys hands me back a pair of scissors and says something like "sorry Miss, I can't use them, too stiff". Then he and the boys around him watch me to see if I will react to the innuendo. All I can come up with is "perhaps they're brand new scissors" before walking away. I hear their disappointment that I've not taken the bait and laugh inside.