Culture Shock

It is one day to my holiday, woo! However, annoyingly, I forgot about my final Learning Log. The deadline was yesterday, thus this morning I have some work to do. In keeping with tradition, I will ramble on my blog first.

Yesterday was little brother's 21st birthday, I can't believe it! It was a pretty quiet affair - my dad had some of his friends from work round for dinner, but lil bro had lost of work etc. to do, plus he doesn't really like socialising with family-type people, so he made several swift escapes. I baked him a cake though, hopefully he'll like it when he tries it today. Both my other brother and I had huge family 21st birthday parties but lil bro refused. He missed out on some good fun in my opinion!

My dad's friends are from India and it was really interesting and odd to meet them. Really, I think I was a little bit prejudiced. Against the men at least. They all smoked and treated me like a servant person (one of them even handed me his dinner plate when he had finished eating and then stated that he wanted some water!) and also said that in their houses they don't do any of the housework etc. I am really glad I live here and not in India, where it seems even educated people treat women as inferior.

Coincidentally I was just reading a book of short stories/mini snapshots of the lives of various young asian females who live in Britain. Lots of them talk about the difficulties of trying to balance two cultures. I guess I am really Westernised so I find it hard to even accept some of the cultural traditions that maybe people born and raised in India/Sri Lanka would do. Maybe I'm just a bit spoilt?

My mum told me a story that made me sad, about how when she first came to the country, she had to live in a one-room bedsit with my dad, and she only just knew him, and she had no job and no friends here (there were no tamil people) and so when he went to college everyday, she'd be all along for the whole day with nothing to do. And she used to have to wash her hair in hot water cos it was so cold here, and also because they had to put money in a meter to get hot water and she didn't want to waste it because they were really poor, so all her hair used to fall out (she had a lovely thick long plait of black shiny hair when she first came here, which she used to wash in cold water back in Sri Lanka). So she used to sit at home everyday and collect up her fallen out hair and make a plait and just cry with sadness and homesickness. The culture shock must have been huge, plus in those times they were poor and there were no phones up in the village where my mum's parents were, so she was so far away from them and couldn't even speak to them. I don't know if I would have been able to get through that homesickness, but she did. She said that she used to look at apples in the market but was too shy to ask my dad to buy them so she just used to be quiet. I can't imagine that now, she is so out-spoken, but back when she was a brand new young girl from Sri Lanka, well maybe that was how she was. Such a shame about having to be all alone at home when she was a fully-qualified doctor - stupid bureaucracy. Still, she is happy now and she has her own surgery and now my parents have everything, so really I can see how we are spoilt because we will never have to (touch wood) go through the kind of struggles and strains and sadness that they did.

Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier for us if we'd just grown up in Sri Lanka because them maybe we wouldn't feel so lost between two worlds. I don't know though, when I think about the civil war and some of the poverty and "trappedness" I've seen over there, I just now that we are so lucky to have all that we have, and I couldn't give it up.

Right, to work with me. If I don't post before it, have a lovely short break without me, and I'll be back after Vancouver!

Words of Wisdom

Pretty tired and busy with the usual stuff, so instead of my rambles, have a read of these sent by my mother instead. I particularly like the last bit.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.
Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
To handle yourself, use your head,
To handle others, use your heart.
If talking is silver then silence is gold.

The tongue weighs practically nothing,
but so few people can hold it
Many people will walk in and out or your life,
but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses more;
He who loses faith, loses all.

Beautiful young people are acts of nature,
but beautiful old people are works of art.

If someone betrays you once, it's his fault.
If he betrays you twice, it's your fault.
Wealth is found in contentment
Peace is found in isolation
Freedom is found in abandoning of desires
Love is found in abandoning inclination
Pleasure of a long life is found in patience and contentment in a short life

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become character.
Watch your character, they become destiny.

And some wise words from Dinky...

A blind girl hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.

He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'

The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, before they were yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our 'status changes'. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word -Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to for a companion.

Today before you complain about life -Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children -Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive -Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job -Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember that not one of us is without error and we all answer to the Divine.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank the Divine you're alive and still around.