Family Tales

In the spirit of regaling each other with tales of our families:

I just texted Mosser to tell him we'd have to raincheck our afternoon drinking session. My excuse for absence made me laugh: I have to help my Mum cook eggs for my uncle's surprise 50th birthday party tonight. This sounds completely ridiculous, and yet it is true.

Also I was chatting with my Dad in our family room and in the space of about 5 mins he said:

1. "Good, let them" - in response to my warning that the tax man would come and get him if he tried to avoid inheritance tax.
2. "You could move to Senegal" - in response to my pointing out it will probably be maaaany years before I could afford to entirely independently make it onto the property ladder.
3. "I am bored of giving her money" - in response to my questioning why we aren't giving my Dad's friend's daughter her usual birthday present.
4. "I wandered lonely as a cloud" - kinda outta nowhere, but when pushed on it, he admitted it was Wordworth who first put those words together, and not him as he originally claimed.

Mouche, the book is still about you. The pile of stuff is growing. Want some of my brother's old clothes too?

Oranges

I am reading this book. Very interesting. And not just because I like oranges. Or the references to gypsies.

Weirdly it seems to be about Mouche's life.

I knew Mouche couldn't be a real name...she is masquerading as Jeanette Winterson.

The clues:

1. Big emphasis on the Church - Mouche (or should I call you Jeanette?) tries to keep this low-key, but I know her Sundays are for The Lord (and footy of course).
2. A mother full of "character" - in fact, the mother in this book is almost the same as I imagine Mouche's mother, with lots of quirks but an overall logic that seems to justify them.
3. Jeanette went to Oxford - where did you go Mouche?

There are more clues, but they are harder to explain. Basically it just seems to be written as if Mouche is doing the writing. e.g.

"And now," said a voice, "a programme about the family life of snails."
My mother shrieked.
"Did you hear that?" she demanded, and poked her head round the kitchen door. "The family life of snails, it's an Abomination, it's like saying we come from monkeys."
I though about it. Mr and Mrs Snail at home on a wet Wednesday night; Mr Snail dozing quietly, Mrs Snail reading a book about difficult children. 'I'm so worried doctor. He's so quiet, won't come out of his shell.'
"No Mum," I replied, "it's not like that at all."

Can't you imagine Mouche saying that? Or, more specifically, imagining Mr and Mrs Snail? (Obvy the people who have never met or heard of her will find this bit difficult, but try).

Anyway, I am only 22 pages in, but we will see how it pans out.

In other news, went on a marathon shop in Romford yesterday, epic. Much more productive, mainly because of the presence of PRIMARK, whoop! Today I am contemplating doing some work for school. Unlikely to be done, but contemplation is the first step. Yuck, school next week, booo.

The Sales

They are evil.

Well, maybe not evil. Just a bit crazy.

Clearly it was an error to go shopping in Old Londinium Town today when every single other person in the UK seemed to have decided to do the same thing. Millions and millions and trillions of people packed into a tiny area - perfect. At times I swear the road traffic was moving faster than the pavement traffic. My experience was further worsened by my "not feeling in the mood to shop" anyway (I need to be in-the-mood. Or, at least, not not-in-the-mood). Error.

Low points:

1. Seriously contemplating selling-out and going corporate - surely then I will be rich enough to not have to risk being runover by angry shoppers on their way to (or maybe from) Next? By the way, there are three Nexts between Marble Arch and Tottenham Court Road, all of which opened up at 5am today, and won't shut till 9:30pm. Insane.
2. Realising that I am both Asian and frugal (a vicious combo, but good for the bank account. So long as I am sober.) and thus even if I was mega-mega-mega rich, I would still look for a bargain.
3. Being cross with all the people who brought their children shopping. Why would you do that? Don't you love your children? Why put them through the horror?
4. Being jealous of all the men who had grabbed the comfy sofas in all the department stores, thus not having to trudge around. Lucky.
5. Being even more jealous of the old people in the electric golf cart things (don't worry, I appreciate my mobility. Really. I only fantasise about a bright blue golf cart with pretty lights and a toot-toot horn occasionally.)
6. Getting lost in the John Lewis men's suit section for 20 mins. How is this even possible? I didn't even want a suit.
7. Seeing Scrouse's 50 year old self. Ok, I'm kidding...this was obviously a high point, not a low point!

You'll be pleased to know I bought nothing, partly because I was too lazy to fight for a bargain, partly because the only thing I wanna buy at the moment is a piano, and that would involve spending my entire annual salary in one big hit (soooo tempting. But no. Must resist...) When I left my brother, he had managed to buy a belt. Good stuff. He is still out there battling, but phew, I'm glad to be home.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! Eat, drink and go crazy! Maybe a little Disney ice-skating...

If you have 10 minutes to spare over the break, two hilarious things to check out on YouTube:

1. Russell Peters - hilarious Canadian born Indian stand-up comic, who mocks people of every race.

2. Charles Marshall - my brother's rather rah friend, who is very drunk in hall and thus funny funny.

Enjoy the break, take care, and see you in a pub somewhere soon!

Things I must try and remember to do:

1. Line my stomach before drinking.
2. Don't mix my drinks.
3. Stay away from things that I am allergic to, no matter how much I believe that "this time it'll be alright".
4. Don't do a 2 hour journey home after an epic drinking session.
5. Keep an eye on all possessions, and try and bring back what I take out.

As you can see, the day with Bertie was wonderful, and had the usual sorry ending. Heehee, must be more responsible. And less of an alcoholic.

Other things I will try and do (kinda New Year's resolutions...but more like aims for next year):

1. Learn to play the piano.
2. Run in a 10k race and do it for charity.
3. Detox the whole of January (months without drinking are good for me).

TF Christmas carolling was ace tonight - we made £60 for charity busking in London and it was wonderful fun, really got the festive feeling rolling!

Mmm bed. But first, more water :)

I was thinking this morning about how a picture is worth a thousand words. This led to me thinking how it might be more fun for you if instead of rambling about what I've been doing, I took photos and posted them up here instead. Don't hold your breath - the more diligent observers amongst you will realise I am already rambling and thus have no photos for you. But I am going to try and describe what these photos would be.

So firstly I would probably have one of my maths department in our curry house. And one in the pub with lots of our staff in it too. And obvy some of the naughty naughty kids playing maths charades and eating mince pies. One of all the people in my choir, and also the yummy curry we ate on Brick Lane on Sunday (for someone who eats lots of curry at home, I seem to go out to eat it an awful lot too!). Oooh and one of my family, now that we're all back under one roof again. One of my father and his old school buddies, most likely all holding full glasses of whisky. One of us playing Nintendo Wii at their house too (amazing! I think it might just be the novelty factor, but whatever, totally worth trying out). From last night one of the B-Team in The Goose in Walthamstow. And from tonight one of dinner with Ish from uni and Emma from school (interesting...why do I always think it's a good idea to try and see completely different people at the same time? Surely by now I should have realised I am all about keeping my friends away from each other). One of my car in the fog with the crazy bright lights on. One of our house with all the Christmas cards (and truly wonderful puzzle postcard from the Todster - you are amazing!) And finally one of my lovely warm bed that has been souped up for winter i.e. the big snuggly blue blanket has come out to play.

Hmm, enough imaginary photos for now. Tomorrow I'm going to see Bertie in Aylesbury, which I am muchos excited about :) I have bought him an Italian phrasebook full of things one shouldn't say in Italy, very useful. I am also going to see Suze and Kim in the evening, so all in all a day of drinking, yippee!

Mouche I am fantastic at scarching, bring on the battle. Come singing on Thursday, it'll be ace.

Potter, congrats on the exams, good stuff! I borrowed Freakonomics from the library just last week, what are the chances? Not read it yet but will give you feedback once I have. In similar artistic coincidence, caught the end of Notting Hill and am convinced Hugh is sitting on a bench reading Captain Corelli's Mandolin in the closing scene, which I am also reading at the moment, albeit not on a bench. Very strange...

Puj, gutted not see you tonight, I wanted to show you my filling and wonderful polished teeth. B, I sympathise over the needles...boy will I make a rubbish doctor: "sorry Mrs Patient, I am too squeamish to help you with the splinter in your finger, you will have to go to Casualty, it's the only way".

I love mince pies, is it wrong that I want to eat them with custard all day long. Maybe this is why I need a filling...thoughts of sugar are decaying my teeth.

My tarot card reading told me that at the moment I was confused and undecided about a lot of things. I immediately assumed the cards were talking about my job (especially since it was another teacher doing the reading) but now I wonder what else it might be about. It was very weird getting the cards done because they all fitted with each other and seemed to tell a story, which kept getting more and more real (but also surreal) as the cards got turned over. I want to get another reading done.

On Saturday we went to a birthday dinner party for one of my father's old school friends. It was great fun, particularly since there's nothing like an old boys' reunion when it comes to hilarious anecdotes about my father. Despite his insistence that he was a hardworking lad, it seems he managed to get himself into his fair share of trouble. Anyone who has heard the story of how my Dad impaled his cheek on a spear (luckily not too badly) will be relieved to know his school high-jinx weren't so dramatic. Still, seeing all of them together made it easy to imagine them with their dirty knees and scruffy ties, causing trouble left, right and centre. This is despite their privileged education at Royal College in Colombo, Sri Lanka (established 35 years before Keble College, if that's any indication of "fancy-pants-ness").

Tried to do some Christmas shopping yesterday. Failed miserably. Was rather more successful at TF choir - am finally managing to not sing the tune and sing the alto part instead, props to me! Went for yet another curry in Brick Lane last night, yum yum. I have decided Cobra doesn't count as beer so I am free to drink it in vast quantities, excellent.

Warwick brother is home, yippee! Proceeded to completely rearrange the reception rooms; am mightily pleased with the new layout, particularly because I feel it can now accommodate a piano, which means there is almost nothing to stop me learning in the new year, yay!

B-Team drinks in Walthamstow tonight...am starting to warm to good old E17, it's not so bad after all. But first it is time to do something productive.

Happy days at work people, mwhahahahaha!

Christmas Holidays!!!

Woo hoo! School's over for the year, it's holiday time!

I made it! Oh my gosh, yippee, exclamation marks galore!!!!!!! :) !!!!!!!!!!

2 weeks of no marking, planning, teaching, preparing, reporting, praising, telling off...running around like a headless chicken! Yay yay yay!

The end of term flew by in a blaze of classroom parties, Christmas assemblies, carols, fun lessons, and festive greetings to all and sundry. The Christmas spirit finally took control of the school and I was really taken back to my own school days by all the merriment, it was great! This was despite having had a heavy night on Thursday (maths department dinner, then a birthday in good old London town, then a jolly trip on the night bus....hmmm, why have I added the night bus as if it was a whole other event?) and so feeling a bit worse for wear yesterday. Imagine if I'd been feeling 100%...

With the kids finally sent home, the staff Christmas lunch kicked off in fantastic style. The promise I made to myself to keep it under control at work was thrown out of the window and after 6 hours of solid drinking with the other teachers, I was suitably merry. I really had an ace time, it felt like we were celebrating finishing finals, that's how jubilant everyone was! I guess it's been a tough term for everyone, so I'm really pleased we made it through.

Things that shouldn't have happened:

1. "Borrowing" a spare crate of Carlsberg from the staffroom after the party
2. Taking said crate to the pub and proceeding to secretly drink it alongside vodka
3. Bumping into some of my Y8 maths group on the road later on (what are the chances of that? I've never seen any of my kids all term, and then the one night that I am in teacher-guise and lashed, they see me.)
4. Getting my tarot cards read...exciting stuff, more on that next time.
5. Having to go and rescue my car today (actually, clearly it is better this happens rather than me attempting to drive it hammered).
6. Not making it to meet Mouche and Potato Potter. Sorry girls, I am rubbish...I really was in bed by 10pm!
7. Eating absolute junk (including ridiculous amounts of spicy peanuts, NOT good) this whole week and drinking beer after I had banned it. Whoops, I can sense Christmas will take its toll on my body.

Anyway, am very excited about the holidays and will fill you in on all the fun and games tomorrow!

Happy weekend!

I feel like this colour today. Weird right?

Nothing much to report, except that my girls played their last game in the tournament today. Alas they lost big time, but still there were smiles. Some Y10 girls were there to support, and at one point they got all the younger girls around to give them a bit of a pep talk. It was amazing to watch them sharing and helping each other - yes, I had a moment :)

I had an unmoment period 2 today when I gave my Y8s an end of term test. I am scared to mark it cos they all looked completely stumped the whole way through. Oh dear. One of my established colleagues gave the same test to her Y8 group, and the kids' National Curriculum levels actually dropped...I can already sense this will happen to my kids too. Great, I am unteaching them.

Played "maths charades" with my Y7s, which was hilarious. They loved it, particularly the whole boys vs. girls thing. Aaah the tension amongst young teenagers is fabulous...is it wrong that I provoke it so? Mwahahaha, but it's entertaining drama, and I do love drama.

Tomorrow is full of marking and reports and sorting out end of term stuff. Hurrah.

And finally, here are some Christmas jokes for kids to make you smile:

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel!

What did the pack of Walkers say to the Skips?
Merry Crispmas!

Why should you be careful at Christmas?
Because there are mince spies about!

And my personal favourite...

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

Ho Ho Ho!

Woo hoo, this week of school is gonna be great I think :) All my classes are having tests and then "fun" lessons, hence minimum serious planning. Their idea of fun and mine may well differ. I wanna play Charades and Mafia with them. They are probably more interested in charlie than Charades and I'm sure some of them harbour serious ambitions to join a criminal gang.

Still it will be funny to watch them work in groups. I love analysing group dynamics. Thus I will ignore their complaints and instead try and placate them with mince pies and sweeties (while remembering to apologise profusely to whichever poor soul has to deal with their E number induced hyperactivity). Excellent.

As a side note, getting Christmas cards from the kids is really nice, and rather bizarre too :)

What else? On a downer, I need a filling. Shocker. This is what happens when you don't go to the dentist for 3 years. And also when you gloat about how amazing your teeth are. Rubbish.

The book I am reading now (Light on Snow, Anita Shreve) is vaguely coincidental with my life. Only because it is set in New Hampshire, where I spent a jolly summer in 2005. I think I need more evidence before I can conclusively prove that this book (and all subsequent books) are about me. And no, I'm not an egomaniac; just empathetic.

And finally, I read that apparently you can classify all the people in your life according to the world of Winnie-The-Pooh. That is, everyone is kinda like one of Winnie, Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Owl, Gopher, or Christoper Robin. One day I will sit down and do this. In the meantime, take this Poohsonality Test to find out for yourself.

I'm in a ridiculously jolly mood today. I think I just woke up on the right side of the bed. Without a hangover :) Excellent. Thus I am treating you to photos and also the highlights of the weekend, you lucky people.

So here's a picture of us at the London Dungeon. Scary stuff! Not as scary as the last time I went there. I made a real effort not to make eye contact with wax models, and always looked around for people hiding in dark corners so I was ready for their surprises. Contemplated touching people to see if they were real or fake, but decided this was an error. Still, managed not to have a major freakout or anything, which I'm pleased about.

Puja gave me a Crunchie - very poignant since Martha gave Jack a Crunchie when I was reading just the day before...what are the chances? All in all a fun day out, very well organised, not too scary, lots of special effects and educational value. Can't wait to have kiddies so I can take them there! Also went on a lovely walk by the river, aaah I love the river :)

We then spent a jolly couple of hours in the pub. Aaah daytime drinking, my favourite. Fruli is rapidly moving up my favourite drinks list. An interesting discussion on the definition of pulling proved that indeed tongues do have to be involved. Also lots of gossiping and complaining about boys, excellent. Clearly our lives have dramatically evolved from when we were at school.

The "Jarvin" blind date went faaaaar better than I ever thought it could. Despite occasional awkward pauses, they seemed to get on like a house on fire, chattering away about all kinds of things. Despite my comedy error of not telling "M" which boy was the gay one (thus leaving him very confused at the table as to who he was actually on the blind date with!) things worked out in the end. The boys swapped numbers and I think we will be seeing them both again on Thursday, thus proving being optimistic about my matchmaking abilities was the right thing to do.

This brings me to the fact that apparently there are half a million more single girls than boys in the UK. I wonder if this is because there are more boys than girls? Whatever the reason, clearly the British population is in need of my dating agency (this weekend's invention, just in case you thought I'd stopped all that malarkey). Birmingham has the most singletons, so I will start my business there, after first doing some research in Reading, since it's supposedly the place to find Mr Right.

In other news, I have now finished the book about me. Luckily it has a happy ending :) In two final coincidences, in the last few pages both London Bridge and Thai food were mentionned, both of which featured in my weekend. Weird, huh? I wonder who my Jack is...(don't worry Puj, I haven't given up, this just makes it all the more interesting!)

Oh and for those that wanted to see it, here's my car, Dixey, so pretty :) The poor parking is courtesy of my lil bro...see, it runs in the family!

My Y8s were so bad today. Grrr. Had to have "D" removed from my class for the second time this week. Also put "S" in detention tomorrow after school (thus violating my "no detentions on Fridays" policy, dang it). Am thinking of making her write an essay with the title How can I make myself a better person? but I think that might be offensive (plus patently she will just write things like "get extensions, violate my ASBO orders, have a baby etc".) Maybe the title will be How can I improve my behaviour to help me be a better learner? That sounds suitably teacheresque. Excellent. Maybe I will be super-mean and rip it up after she has done it...? Or maybe it will be good and then I can photocopy it and stick a copy in every kids' book....oooh possibilities, see every negative can be made positive (so true in maths as well)!

Anyway, luckily I didn't lose my temper too much. Getting loads better at the ol' anger management. Did have to to run out of school during lunch though cos I was so cross (I mean literally run....far too far in fact, almost had to get the bus back to be in time for period 5!) But that's better than reaching for the bottle, good progress on the drinking front, heehee :)

On the plus side, two good things.

1. "D" has now been removed from my class for the rest of the term. I know that's only a week more, but still....bliss :)
2. Not sure I've mentionned the ridiculous blind date that I somehow got roped into co-ordinating, but it's going ahead, and am now far more positive that it could be a success. Looking forward to my reputation as an epic matchmaker being elevated to new heights! Full report to follow next week (unless it goes really really badly!) just to keep you guys on your toes :)

Shout out to MT - happy birthday Mrs President! Hope you have lots of fun and all the best for this year!

Y11 had their non-calculator mock GCSE paper this morning. I've got my group's papers sitting on my bed but I'm not brave enough to mark them yet...too nervous! Doesn't help that one girl told me she missed out ten questions - there are only 29 on the paper! Oh well, it's only mocks...well, that's what I say to them anyway. Sure they've got 5 months to the real thing, but that time is gonna fly so quickly. I want them to focus now so that they can get their Ds (don't even get me started on the stupidity of the system that doesn't let foundation tier maths pupils get a C...at least they've changed it now, but one year too late for my kids).

Fire alarm went off at 8:27am today. Good start to the day. Mock exams ran late, causing chaos at break and lunchtime. Doors to the main corridors were locked...almost got steamrollered by a massive year 10 boy when I told him he couldn't go in. Wonderful expletives flew forth from his mouth. Impressive.

Also mightily impressed by Neighbours and the lengths they will go to do drive up audience figures. There's no other way to explain the multitude of scenes featuring Ned and Boyd topless. It used to be wrong to think Boyd had a good body, but now that he's out of school and married, it's fine :) It is still my ambition to play the token Asian on Ramsey Street; I have faith in my shoddy acting ability and willingness to participate in silly story lines, what more do they need? I wonder what my character should be called...am thinking Sheila Patel - the right blend of ethnicity and Australian-ness. And I wanna be in a love triangle with Harold and Lou. Hot stuff.

Woo hoo Tuesday's almost over! I don't know why I am not a big fan of Tuesdays - apparently it's our most productive work day. I think it's cos it seems like such a "nowhere" day, in that you're not even halfway to the weekend. Anyway, it's almost over, yay! Not that I'm wishing my life away or anything (my Grandma told me not to do that. In Tamil, of course).

My girls lost 7-0 to Leytonstone. Ouch. It is very annoying how one or two really good players on the other team means that your team get annihilated. Oh well. At least they won their friendly against Walthamstow School for Girls 3-2. Good stuff.

The lesson on stereotypes went well despite my turning red as a beetroot. It is quite bizarre - you'd think I'd be used to public speaking by now (especially given that most of the time I am in public when I talk...although there are momentary lapses when I find myself chattering away to...yes, you guessed it - myself). It was really embarrassing, kinda like I had drunk half a bottle of SoCo and achieved that lovely tingly sensation in my face. I think its cos I get nervous when I am being observed. Whatever the reason, I was still happily warming my hands on my face a good hour later. This didn't look strange at all, oh no.

Managed to get completely lost in Leytonstone. On the plus side, found the Primark AND the McDonald's. Realised that even if I was lost, I would survive. A pivotal moment.

Martha has said that she likes conkers and is a hopeless romantic. Girls, don't know how many of you remember "Willy the Conk"...my trusty good luck conker I carried around in my blazer pocket. Oodles of good luck came my way courtesy of Willy. I wonder where he is now...

Sprouse, I love it that in your spare hour you are willing to write reports for me. You are such a good friend :) Alas, you seem to forget that you can't write. Maybe you can do the ones for the EAL (English as an Additional Language) kids...they can't read them anyway! Hahaha. Sorry, bad joke, I love and respect my kids, honest.

Mouchio, sorry life is tough in the world of futons. Square sausages will make things right (right-angled in fact...hahaha) in the world. Think of your blog as a cathartic devise...except with lots of brackets :)))))

Everyone else, check out this mapgame, shamelessly stolen from SB's blog. She says she gets a 100 points regularly. On my first go, I got 6. Hmmm. Admittedly I didn't realise the game had started, but still, only 6?! Rubbish. I will play this game at school I think...the kids will love it. And I too will get 100. One day.

Today was a bit of a write-off. I think at times I really am an awful teacher. Was going over converting metric units with Y8 (again) and they still didn't get it.

Me: If I have 5 centimetres and I want to know how many millimetres that is, the first thing I have to do is decide what units are in the question. What are the units?
Y8: Is it 5 Miss?
Me: No, I want the units. What are the units?
Y8: Is it 10 Miss?
Me: No, units, I want to know the metric units in the question.
Y8: It's a hundred isn't it?

Cue almost hysterical laughter from me. I literally couldn't keep a straight face. The kids thought I'd gone loopy. Talk about raising expectations...I'm a baaaad teacher, I laugh at my kids. Oh dear.

Y7 weren't much better...the little monster K went into a strop when I moved her after she repeatedly made weird sucking/squawking/quacking noises. She refused to participate in the lesson and so I kicked her out. Lots of lovely drama and squawking later, she leaves. She flounces back in at the end of the lesson. "Mr Aubdool is a really good teacher, "she announces grandly. "Maybe he'll keep you permanently," I mutter under my breath.

Things got better though. Played "heads down thumbs up" with 7D in tutor time, very constructive. Helped some Y11s with exam questions. Was granted leave for family stuff at the start of next term. Managed to get home before 5 and have finished my work for the evening.

However, these next two weeks aren't as carefree and easy as I thought. Reports need to be written for every class (including full written reports for Y11). This means every class needs to be tested and every test marked in time for the reports. Great. Also found out that the average life span after retirement for a male head teacher in an inner-city school is 1.5 years! Like most jobs, it's hard to leave work at "work". But teaching is all consuming. Today is one of those days where I missed staring at spreadsheets. Inevitable I guess after the joys of last week.

In other news, I am feeling rather philosophical. It's a loooong story, and don't worry, I will be happy-go-lucky (i.e. thinking about stupid things like ducks) again tomorrow. Note to self: no deep and meaningful conversations after bed time.

Also, I have been roped into a rather bizarre match-making scenario. The two in question are complete opposites, and I'm convinced it won't work, but have somehow been "tricked" into fabricating an opportunity for a rendez-vous. And yes, just for added drama, they are both boys. Hopefully my match making skills are universal.

For inspiration, check out the link to scaramouche on the side bar. Her tale of Melanie Bellamy really is quite ridiculous.

I am meant to be writing my Teach First journal, but you know how I love distractions...

Celebrations! A whole week without having to stay back for detention once :D What are the chances eh? Admittedly, N let the Y7 group down by forgetting his exercise book and missing a homework (he has a 30 min detention tomorrow) but I'm not really counting that. So yes, detention-free week!

Did lots of tutor time with 7C this week, was actually quite nice to get to know the little monsters. Maybe having a tutor group wouldn't be so bad? Was also really proud of how mature and well-behaved the Y7s were during the fire drill and at the awards' assembly - they can be good sometimes!

In the world of fiction - another sign that I am Martha:

"Today was the type of day when you saw a space in the supermarket car park and you managed to reverse into it, first time, no hesitation."

This has never happened to me, but I know it would be a good day if it did.

Alas, Michael has just left Martha. Oh dear. I hope this book has a happy ending.

In other news, the pineapple I didn't use as my costume yesterday was delicious. I don't have a cumulative hangover either :)

I am also just about over the Spurs defeat to the evil Gunners. True, Spurs lacked ambition yesterday, but Arsenal were definitely on the lucky side of lucky. Two dodgy penalties and an off-side goal make me wonder why I'm not a Premiership referee? I can make just as many errors...

This is my second-to-last weekend of lesson planning before Christmas! And no Y11 this week! I am being observed on Tuesday in a PSHE (Personal Social & Health Education) lesson. I have never taught this before and currently have no idea what the lesson is meant to be on, or even how a PSHE lesson works. Good stuff.

10 teaching days to go!

Mouche, I am looking forward to reading your online insights. And also being the godmother of your child. I don't mind which order I do this in.

Girls, I'm looking forward to our pyjama party....aaaaw to be 11 again! Except it'll be even better - we'll have wine!

Update 22:02

Went to the gym and choir practice. In the same 6 hours, my parents went "impact-visiting" which is where they visit lots of people who live in the same area. Now they are being impact-visited. Yes, that's right, I come home at half nine on a Sunday night and we have visitors. Tea is being served. Tea! At half nine. Bizarre. This is after they went to a wedding reception last night. Plus, my mother is the president of her old school association and she hosted a party for them yesterday during the day. AND the phone started ringing at half seven on Sat morning and I don't know when it stopped. Aaaah I only hope I am as busy and popular as my parents when I am old. Actually, forget when I'm old, I should be as popular as them now! :)

The book I'm reading at the moment is about me. Of this I am certain. Supposedly the main character is called Martha. Clearly this an elaborate ruse. Clues include:

1. Her name starts with an "m". So does mine.
2. She is a Virgo.
3. She was standing on the platform at Earl's Court station in chapter 2. When I was reading Chapter 2 guess where I was standing? That's right!
4. She tries very hard to please people and then feels guilty when she can't. Without delving too much into my psyche, I know I do this.
5. She doesn't bother too much with jewellry, although she wears a beautiful, expensive watch (I am working on this).
6. She likes to "count her blessings".
7. She is a serial monogamist at heart. Contrary to popular belief, I think I am too.
8. She likes to shower before going to bed.
9. She tries to see the positive in people.
10. She can't remember the last time she read a book entirely for pleasure (Oxford degree anyone?)

Ok, now I read for fun, but Martha likes to read prize-winning books for their intellectual and conversational value. I know I do this too. In fact, the only reason I have been reading trashy stuff lately is because Small Island was so rigorous that I needed something lighter. By the way, read Small Island, it really is very good.

There are many more similarities. I fear I am reading about my life in the future. Imagine if you could read your life story already? Weird right? Wonder what happens next...

Another good day. I don't wanna jinx it, but things really have been going ok for a little while. Must be under some good stars at the moment :) Whatever it is, I've had three days now and no detentions yet! Could this be the first week since the start of term where I have no kids in detention? Let's not talk too soon.

My girls lost 5-0 last night. They were playing Y11 girls from Lammas, and we didn't have a full strength squad. Nevertheless, they did well, and I'm pleased that they took their defeat well. Most of them did at any rate. Had a rather cross PE teacher tell me today that one of my girls had walked out of PE that morning "because she was tired from playing football". Obviously not good. Hopefully after our little chat "A" will apologise and go back to participating in lessons (for the sake of the team at least...I have to drop her if she won't behave).

In equally troublesome news, "G", who is usually so good, has been banned from playing football for the school for the rest of the term by the Head of PE due to extreme rudeness to a member of the SLT (Senior Leadership Team). I was caught up in a maths lesson that over-ran, so I wasn't there to let the girls into early lunch at 13:10 on the dot so that they could get to football practice at 13:20. "G" challenged the teacher in charge of the lunch queue for not letting her through and was really mouthy with him and rude also to the Head of PE. Consequently she is on the bench until she apologises and learns to respect authority. Dramatastic.

I know these sound like bad things, but to me they are actually good things. I'd far rather kids learned these things in school rather than out there in the big bad world. I'm also kinda pleased that the girls are dedicated enough to the team (hopefully) to change their behaviour and realise they are better than that. Particularly now that we've got Y7s and Y8s in the same training, it's important for the girls to see that they are role-models and need to lead by example. I remember when I was at school thinking all that stuff about role-models was rubbish, but I can see so easily that it's true - kids really do wanna be like the older ones. Now if we can only get the older ones on track...

Speaking of role models, saw an excellent program on Channel 4 called The Secret Millionaire about a millionaire who went into Hackney masquerading as a youth worker and tried to change lives. Was really inspiring - my Mum was in tears when she saw how grateful the youth centre people were with the millionaire's donation; it really was emotional. One line in the show: "you're not just investing in kids, every time they share a detail with you, they're investing in you too" really stuck with me. I think it might be true, you know.

Phew, I'm knackered. Looong busy day, but a good one. Will keep it short, am aiming for a 10, o'clock bed-time! Hahaha, I just wrote 10,o'cock, that made me laugh. So immature.

Realised today that due to Christmas arrangements, my last actual full day of teaching is in two Tuesdays time. Woo hoo! The count down can really commence now.

Girls lost 5-0 today, booo! Oh well. Also, gave a lift to one of the kids, clearly a big no-no in the teacher's guide, whoops. Will try not to do that again. Don't worry Disney, it wasn't Jason!

Shout outs to anyone reading this in Kenya, I miss you all loads, come to London!

Click here to keep you entertained in the absence of a better post, don't worry, it's nothing bad!

Oh and I told my colleague about finishing "The Hook". She wants to lend me another book from the series...fingers crossed that happens eh?

Today was a good day for lots of reasons. Here are some, in no particular order:

1. All my kids were good in class today.
2. I got to leave at lunchtime for a knee appointment.
3. My knee is fine, not busted up as I feared it was.
4. I beat my 3km time by almost two minutes.
5. I don't have to teach tomorrow afternoon due to VIth open evening preparation (which I have sneakily got out of attending due to Y9 football match commitments...excellent!)
6. I have finally finished reading "The Hook". More on this momentarily.
7. I got a lovely message from Bertie. More on this later too.
8. My brother completed his MCAT exams and said that they went ok. This is good news should I ever follow through on the medicine plan since hopefully they will be ok for me too.
9. Salmon parcels with spinach, carrots and charlotte potatoes for supper; mars ice cream for pudding. Yum yum, my Mum is amazing.
10. An early night in sight :)

"The Hook" was a book lent to me by one of the teachers in the maths department at school. It's a pretty good story in that it could make a reasonable action film, but so badly written, predictable, and downright ridiculous at times that I found it frustrating to read. Finally, almost a month later, I have finished my struggle through the 76 A4 pages. I wonder if I will be brave enough to tell her what I really thought of the story? Quotes from the last page:

Mary was too afraid to join in, at first, but she picked up the courage to remove a shoe and hit Banko's head, hard, with a heel...Lovson smiled, then, looked into Mary's eyes, and said, "Thanks, Mary, you saved my life!"...Lovson stopped, then, looked into Mary's eyes, and said, "Mary, I want you to come with me. I want you to stay with me. I would like you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Bearing in mind that Mary met Lovson about 6 days ago when he was being chased by a gang through an airport, and given that there had only been a slight romantic build up before the last page (some stuff about Lovson thinking about Mary and her eyes...he is ALWAYS looking in her eyes...booooring!) this is stupid. The general story too is a bit stupid at parts. However, what annoys me the most is the excessive and stupid use of commas and the word "then". It's almost as if the author has emphysema and so needs to breathe after every word. But when he breathes, instead of normal air sounds, he breathes the word "then" out, meaning every sentence is littered with ",then," for no reason. This is the only explanation as far as I can tell.

On a more positive note Bertie said:

ahh how sweet, as long as ure thinking about me all the time then im happy. (was telling him how I was wasting lesson planning time by admiring pictures of him wearing my red monkey top).

hows the good fight going? u are far and away my favourite teacher ever and ive never even been to one of ure classes.

im really looking forward to the goooseee now - genuinely that and seeing my little sister have been the only twangs of home sickness that ive had while ive been here.

i havent had nearly enough sugar today so am heading out to get some more

This made me smile.

Am now reading "The Other Woman's Shoes" by Adele Parks. Slightly more promising than "The Hook", but the main character is called Martha and is married to Michael. They have two children called Maisie and Mathew. I sense this will annoy me soon. If I ever marry someone whose name starts with an m and then give our children m-names, kick me. Hard.

Right, time for that early night. Hot chocolate tonight :)

Usually two days of drinking in a row make me feel awful, but I think last night's fun and games actually neutralised the hangover. Today I feel great! Hair of the dog is so the way forward.

It was Sanju's birthday at Point 101. Interesting mix of TF people, uni mates, school friends, and randoms that had been dragged along by other people. My ability to small talk/ramble away to strangers is vastly improving (not that I was ever bad at talking to strangers...the fact that I may never see them again instantly relaxes me and thus allows all kinds of nonsense to leave my lips more or less the minute after we've been introduced). I must say the cocktail bar there is ace, and at £3.50 a cocktail before 10pm, wonderful prices too! They aren't small cocktails either, no sir...a mere three mojitos and I had that pleasant numb tongue sensation nobody else seems to get. Unlucky you lot, numb tongue is great! Anyway, we are adding 101 to our list of pre-gaming venues, yum yum yum.

The crocuses made a second appearance and were once again warmly received (the crocuses aren't a euphemism for anything dodgy you naughty people, they are actual crocuses and my current favourite present...yes, I am bulk-buying pot-plants!). Today I fear for their safety though...when I left Sanju was rather merry and convinced that they would prefer to grow in vodka rather than water. Poor things.

What else? I am busy lesson planning and already SO bored, having only managed to complete two lessons. Rubbish. Must try and focus. Yes.

Also there was some crazy rain/hail/thunder/lightning storm really early this morning, which was so dramatic and loud that I thought we were being bombed. Scary stuff, but a kinda nice scared since I knew we weren't really being bombed, and I love watching storms. It's strange how calm and beautiful the sky looked a little while later, almost as it had finished having a strop and was back to being all sweetness and light. Reminded me of toddlers - so fickle.

I am now alarmed by the fact that everything reminds me of small people. Similarly alarmed by the Tracie dog...I read somewhere that people often look like their dogs, so maybe she's lost hers? Does your cat look like you Mouche? Oh wait, that would mean you would be invisible. Actually, sometimes you are a bit pale and see-through-like. Weird.

Funny joke. Will try that with my Y11s tomorrow. Half of them are EAL (English as an Additional Language) so laugh at me whatever I say!

Update. 19:17

Oh my gosh, I am SO BORED of lesson planning. It feels like it is never ending. This is because it really is never ending. And boring. Aaaaaaaargh.

Right, now that that's out of my system, I shall carry on. Clearly I will appreciate all my hard work during the week when I don't have to do any work after school. Except that obviously I will. Grr.

In other news, I am drinking blackcurrant fruit tea. As per usual, it is yum, but doesn't taste like blackcurrants.

Expect more boring insights into my day at my desk later on.

Puja, congrats with the photos, I'm so proud of you!

People, I have a hangover. This is immensely upsetting to me since this now means I am officially a lightweight. Last night at Laura's birthday I had two glasses of white wine, two glasses of mulled wine, one can of Carlsberg (whoops, I thought I'd given up beer...) and a generous measure of vodka (for drinking while thinking). The fact that I can remember what I drank and still I feel hungover is a bad sign. It means I am ageing. Rubbish. I am hoping I am just dehydrated....if loads of juice fixes it, then I will be a happy bunny.

Other points of note for this morning:

My uncle is here to inspect the Victorian wardrobes in my room. They are lovely wardrobes, but they don't really fit in our house any more (I don't mean they've grown, I mean our house is full of builders and clutter). Our old house was amazing...it looks like this one, but not as tiny.

It was also massive - you could fit TWO DOUBLE BEDS in a room and still have loads of space to run around in. I miss it so - the whole basement floor was our playroom, magic. Anyway, this means I had to wake up earlier than planned today, but that means I will now go to the gym to sauna-out the alcohol.

That is all for now.

Update - 16:42

Didn't gym it - went bargain basement shopping with Mummy instead...feel much improved having bought lots of things without spending any money. Favourite purchase: star earrings from Matalan for a bargain £1.87. Boy am I going up in the world :) Spent most of the time in that shop convinced all the kids were pupils from my school and thus would see the knickers I was buying. Paranoia is SO healthy. Have decided to skip on the whole exercise plan and take a well-deserved nap instead. Drinks o'clock will be rolling around before I know it. Where does the time go?

PS I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that now I've remembered how to post pictures, there'll be lots more delightful things up here for you to see. Look forward to seeing my wicked car; it really is as beautiful as I say it is (even with all the dents and scratches!)

Today I am drinking cranberry, elderberry and some other berry too. I don't know if it tastes of these berries but it's ok. Not as nice as strawberry and mango.

I just managed to plan my Y11 revision lesson for tomorrow in about 10 mins. This means it will be rubbish. I have realised there is almost direct correlation between effort put into planning and success of a lesson...all my best lessons are the ones where I have actually managed to plan well. So tomorrow period 1 will probs be a bit lame. I have also decided not to plan for my Y7s at all, since there is also a connection between amount of time to plan and amount of time planning takes. Therefore if I give myself 30 mins to plan tomorrow, I will hopefully get it done in that time. This will patently not happen. But let's be positive!

Managed to keep a lid on my weirdo-ness at football today, good stuff. I am essentially the equivalent of Jij when she first joined Furies, in that I am both ethnic and shy. Well, not shy, just quiet. Shocker I know, but I don't think they are ready for my banter. Besides, I am keeping a low profile since they found out I went to Oxford and now think I am some kinda freak show (yes, clearly I have managed to break down all kinds of stereotypes in one fell swoop. Not). I think they asked me to play on Sunday, but I'm not sure since I was thinking about angles in a pentagon (ok, point taken, I am a freak show) so I told them I couldn't make it (mainly because I am too lazy and anticipate being devastatingly hungover by then).

In other news, I bought petrol for 82.9p per litre today, what a bargain! And if I had only spent £50 in Sainsbury's, it woulda been 77.9p per litre. Also, I managed to reverse park, woooo hooo! And I bought mulled wine for £2.99 alongside rather interesting crocus plants as birthday presents. I don't know why I thought anyone would want a crocus as a present, but they caught my eye, so hopefully they will be nurtured and loved. And hopefully I won't be so hammered as to break the vases before I manage to hand them over.

I want a tankard. And a tank top. And a tank. And a slatted thingie. And a roly poly. You can post them to me Mouchio. I hope we have a golden reunion soon, I miss Goodjohnson. Our friendship will soon officially expire.

Woo hoo it's almost the weekend!

I am drinking strawberry and mango tea. It tastes of neither strawberries nor mangoes (mangos?), but it's still yum.

I am trying to plan the first revision session for my Y11s but this is boring me. They have their mocks in 10 days. I am not optimistic. Most of them seem fairly oblivious to the fact that they might need to study a bit before the mock. Not all of them, some are ok, but the majority live in lala land. Not looking forward to marking them, although trying to be positive.

Yesterday my footballers won 2-1 :) One of them asked me if I had a husband. This is worrying - do I look old enough to have a husband? It wouldn't have been so bad if she had started off at boyfriend, but she went straight to husband. Chuh. Still, could be worse...she coulda asked if I had kids!

In other news, I think I am slowly growing a six-pack. Well, maybe just a coupla cans, but still. It's ironic they're called six-packs when you have to practically give up "six-packs" to get one. I think I might in fact be hallucinating, clearly it will take a fair few months to get rid of all that hard earned Goooose-work.

What else? Well, I am trying to build my case for missing the start of next term so I can stay with my family in Toronto. Case seems pretty weak, but if it doesn't work out, I might try whining. Most of my kids are experts at whining...so good in fact that they sometimes get out of doing things they don't want to do through their whine whine whine whine whine whine whine. Hopefully whining will work for me too.

Tomorrow I will have to go to football practice by myself due to the absence of my partner in crime (and Asian twin...yes, the girls on the team are entirely confused by who is who, it's ace!). I was worried about this, but having managed to reverse park and nagivate unknown territory on Tuesday night (well, it was only Leyton, but unknown nonetheless!) I am more confident. Fingers crossed eh? Oh and I should add parallel parking to my list of desired skills; currently I have to drive past loads of spaces cos I am too rubbish to parallel park into them. I wish the wheels of cars could be turned 90 degrees so that you could just drive sideways. Much easier. Ooooh, how's that for an invention?

Nothing too exciting to report today except that I am knackered. Oh and I learnt a new word: ephebophilia. Very topical and courtesy of The Times.

Also Bertie is alive and well, which thrills me no end. Obviously he feels betrayed by my intention to see Dirty Dancing before he gets back, but I have assured him that it is important one of us does a trial run so that when we actually go it'll be bullet-proof.

What else? My Metro horoscope was very exciting today - good news for Virgos, lots of drama and high jinks in store! There's also a £100 prize for a picture of the most disgusting food you've ever eaten. I can't think what that might be right now, but I'm sure I've got some pictures that could pass as gross food.

Right, bed time - early to bed, early to rise. Supposedly.

I went to bed at 6:32am this morning. This is funny because tomorrow I will have to get up at 6:35am. Good thing I have those 3 minutes spare else my entire body clock would be rather messed up. Yes.

I'm not even going to recap the school highlights - you can pretty much guess what happened. Some maths was taught, some kids were told off, some staffroom politics went on, some bargainous crumble and custard was eaten. Good stuff all round.

Instead I am going to focus entirely on an epic Disney social last night. Apart from the noticeable absences of gyspy Johnson and mini-MT, turnout was decent. And more importantly, the night was EPIC! I'd just like to say for the record that I love my Disney girls, they are quality. Well done, gold stars to all of you.

We started off at Potter's house (a lovely lovely house) where we made and cooked pizza, drank wine, and ate gorgeous puddings...very reminiscent of Spain. A speedy game of charades and a disco bottle (to go) later and we were on our way to G-A-Y (apologies, I make it sound like this all happened very quickly...in fact, it took us about 3 hours to get our asses in gear). This is my second weekend of gay clubbing in a row. Relax faithful readers, there's nothing I'm not telling you, it's just that a disproportionate number of people I know are of the homo variety. And I don't just mean sapien.

After taking a rambley journey on buses and tubes (where we played the old favourite "clap clap my face, clap clap your face" aka Tookey's Game because of her legendary awfulness at it...aaah I love that game, even with the "juicy" bottle of wine we were using as punishments) we made it to the QUEUE. Loooong, though there was this cool portable urinal thing by the queue, it was really clever and rather entertaining too!

Anyway we were very happy to finally be at the front 20 mins later. Until we found out it was £15 entry! Yow! I managed to justify it by thinking of it as a Sugababes concert. Yes indeedy, Sugababes were playing live at The Astoria!

Oh my gosh, totally worth paying, it was amazing, they were amazing, even the new one that replaced Mutya. All the classics were performed (including Push the Button, Overload, Freak Like Me, Red Dress, Hole in the Head and Ugly) and despite standing behind the bounciest sailor gay man in the whole club, I had an awesome time! Particularly loved "Shape", they were top entertainers, I am definitely going to see them in concert next year.

Sadly after their show, Potter and Mouche decided it was time to retire. Responsible choice ladies, well done. MePij and Sprouse recharged with some coke (of the fizzy variety) and off we went again. To cut a long story short, one hour later we had made up the most amazing dance (yes, the same way we used to when we were kids at school...."fish for sale" anyone?). I can't describe it that well; it was basically a load of disconnected moves that we did in a circle. That makes it sound rubbish, but it wasn't - people actually came up to us and asked us to teach them so they could join in (and not because they were off their faces). Before we knew it, the club was closing, whoops! Hahaha, next time we meet up, that dance is coming out to play. I also gained a luminous whistle, yay!

By some miraculous turn of fate (I mean, what are the chances?) it turned out that MePij and Sprouse's bus back to Potter's went from the same stop as mine. Woo! Felt slightly guilty leaving them to navigate their own way back, but they made it. At approx 6am, I made it back to Redbridge station. Slight downer here - a weirdo man was standing in the middle of the road and started shouting at me to borrow my phone. I started to get a bit edgy and walk a bit faster to my car (only a minute away from the station, and don't worry, I'd stopped drinking 6 hours earlier, and hadn't had that much at all). He didn't follow me or anything, but have realised that it's stupid to take a risk like that coming home so late by myself, so will be more responsible from now on.

Anyway, I was meant to go to a wedding today, but clearly have missed that entirely. I am very tired and don't wanna do any work. But wow, so much fun, I feel school-free right now, wooo!

Potter, your house is beautiful - I love the layout, the dimensions and the decor, it's wonderful, some day I will buy it. After the Goose obviously. Thank you for hosting, even when you were knackered, good luck in your exams!

Mouche, love it that you came out with us instead of your futon friends, you're star. And yes, we're SO funny! We will find you a gentleman named James, perhaps of African/Caribbean origin, with whom you can indulge in some fun.

Sprouse, I love it that you have been promoted from being the backdoor trapdoor. I envy your sauce spreading skills. And also your willingness to eat scraps, waste not want not. Now write your CV, stop reading, stop reading now, go work!

MePij, I know you love the race banter, our minority status is what keeps us together. One day brown will take over Disney (I will bring the fake tan). Your "diversity" footballs are hilarious, keep up the good captaincy!

That is all. Oh and shout outs:

To Stevo, sorry to hear you rugby boys lost - it's all about taking part!

To Puja for her relentless gossip searching!

And finally to SB, l'm so pleased to have refound your blog, it looks so professional, I'm jealous!

Right, time for some tea. And maybe a nap!

I don't like meetings very much, particularly when I have no idea what they are about. Nevertheless, I find myself attending more and more meetings; hours and hours of chatter about very unexciting things. It'd be alright if there were biscuits...why are there no biscuits?

I have been eating custard. I love custard. Especially with crumble. Yum yum yum.

I ended up staying in bed yesteday morning, whoopsie. Made it in for lesson 3 though, good stuff. Had a nightmare day though, kinda wished I hadn't gone in.

Today was much better. Thought it was gonna be bad when I had to do a Y9 cover period 1 (my only free all day), but they were ok. Did 3 lessons of maths on the trot, meeting at lunchtime, PE last lesson, meeting after school + little monster in detention (he made me so cross I called his mother - luckily she cares; she told me to keep him back for as long as necessary to set him straight - excellent!) On the plus side, haven't done any work this evening. Went to football practice and then rewarded myself with custard and crumble. Now going to bed early.

See how old and mature and responsible I've become (aka boring)? Roll on the weekend!

Today I had my first proper day as a teacher. By "proper" I mean a real full day of school. 5 lessons of teaching, 2 tutor periods, lunch and after school stuff. More or less running around continously. Yowzer. That is one looooong day. To top things off, the football match after school meant that I was only finished doing "school" things at 6pm, a whole 10.5 hours after I had left home that morning....crazy stuff!

All in all I think it went pretty well. I was pleased that I managed to keep myself going through it, despite being knackered and a bit ill. If I can do it when I'm not feeling 100%, imagine what it'd be like when I am on top form. My observation went really well too, and the football match after school was good fun - the girls got a walkover and managed to draw against a Y11 team in a friendly match, which was great news. Lots of rather dodgy passing in front of the goal, and also passing to the other team (a strange strategy in my opinion), but still, we got through it.

Alas let my crazy side out a bit on the mini-bus on the way back. I can't help but be completely unprofessional on a regular basis e.g. laugh at kids, talk about them openly, complain about school, talk about my life (especially things that young ears should probably not hear); essentially, at times, I really let slip that I'm fresh-faced outta uni and more or less a big kid (just with a degree). Need to work on that(!)

Was thinking of staying home periods 1 and 2 tomorrow (these are frees) but think I might brave it. Check me out eh?

On a slight downer, found out my insurance excess is £450! Don't even get me started on car insurance - it's a f-ing con, extortion! Grrrr. The only people who benefit are those people who don't take out any insurance and don't pay up when they mess up i.e. the bad people. It feels like we're just throwing money down the drain for absolutely no service at all. What's the point? Anyway, I will stop ranting, but now have realised will have to pay the woman instead of claiming on the insurance, due to the MASSIVE excess. Yuck. Oh well, positive thoughts :)

Apologies loyal blog readers, I have been ridiculously busy and thus a failure on the updating front. However, all shall be redeemed today.

So what's happened in the last 5 days? Well, lots and lots.

I got told to "f*ck off" and "shut the f*ck up" by two separate pupils on two consecutive days. Interesting. This hasn't happened to me before, so naturally was a bit stunned. Was very pleased with my calm and controlled manner - back in the day I think I woulda probably retaliated with my own stream of four-letter words, but now I am mature and wise and tolerant. Yes. Those kids are being suitably punished.

That car I bumped into is costing me £400 to fix. £400 for what I think is a "little scratch" (well, it might be a bit more, but you could buy a WHOLE car for £400!) What a joke! I miss money - the plan to sell the soul could well be back on track if I ever want to be able to afford anything.

Had a pretty heavy weekend - still suffering a little bit. Was trying to be responsible but failed spectacularly, making the irresponsible decision left right and centre. Had some wicked nights though...good enough to forget about school for a bit! My opinion that I am an amazing(!) dancer has been reaffirmed - the "happy dance" even came out to play for a bit on Sat! Have no idea how I used to be able to drink so much - am now a proper light weight. Still, free bar baby!

TF Conference during the day on Sat was a bit of a write-off due to Fri night...mostly have no idea what workshops I sat through, my mind was a bit blurry. However, the "break the mould" workshop on shaping a career stood out. The people on the panel made us feel like we could do anything, and that opportunities aplenty are out there waiting for us. Inspired us all (good thing). But made us eager to move on from teaching (bad thing...think that workshop might have back-fired a bit from a TF perspective). Skipped out of the afternoon to get a disco nap in before Sen's 21st. I'm a real role model. *sigh*. At least I feel a bit guilty.

The cheeky little urchins can tell I am run down (probably cos my voice sounds like a clown's...still turned out to choir though, gold star for me!). Luckily so far they are behaving (touch wood). Had a deep moment today with 7F - in afternoon tutor time we taked about Armistice Day and Rememberance Sunday. I read them "In Flanders Fields". Still vividly remember being read that every year at school; now I'm the one doing the reading, very poignant.

Am being observed ALL the time and my newly loaded timetable is busy busy busy. Teaching my first 5 period day tomorrow with first major review board observation, Y7 tutor times, football match after school, and Critical Friends Group meeting. Looking forward to working off the stress in the gym. And maybe taking a sickie on Weds ;)

Todster - love ya! And Snickers too! What's been happening?
Puj - you gossip fiend! Tut tut, you will have to wait and see...

The class sizes at my Academy are enviable. Year 7 form groups average 15; the one I shadowed today had only 13. This is a great pupil-to-teacher ratio - one that even the independent schools in the area would find it hard to improve upon. With so much more teacher attention, why aren't parents flocking to send their kids to the school?

Well, out of the 5 lessons I observed today, 4 of them were cover lessons i.e.the timetabled teacher for that lesson was not present. This might have been a one-off for today, but still, having only 1 lesson in a day with your "proper" teacher is a bit of a joke. Their tutor wasn't here either (off sick) so the poor kids just spent the day doing cover work rather than having actual lessons. Luckily they're only 11 year olds so they still turn up to lessons and don't cause the supply teacher too much grief. If that had been year 9 or 10s, it would've been chaos. Hopefully in the future these problems will be sorted out, but given the school's reputation, exam results, high staff turnover, and problem pupils, no wonder it's the last choice for parents (even with the small class sizes).

In the first lesson (Music) the cover teacher tried to get the kids to write raps. This was actually a pretty successful endeavour (especially since he made it up on the spot), with most groups coming up with some quite good rhymes. Rather alarmingly, one group of boys rapped about guns, weed and fighthing. They even got into character for their performance, with "low batties" and "braps". When I asked them where they got the inspiration for their lyrics, they said from the gangsters on TV. Even worse, they said they'd started making up rhymes about guns etc. back in primary school. This actually quite horrified me, and I did my best for the rest of the day to persuade the boys that guns aren't cool and that a brain was what they needed to succeed. Not sure the message got through (although the "brapping" did stop).

Spent aaaages faffing, consequently have loads of work to do tomorrow. On the plus side, got football tomorrow, woo, and then it's only one day to the weekend! Some of the other teachers seem to be having nervous breakdown type things, so I'm counting myself lucky, despite seemingly wishing my life away! I'm not really, I love school...guns and all.

Oooooh I'm knackered. It's only 10:20, but feels like it's 3am. Phew, Tuesdays are tiring. Been hectic all day long. Taught 4 lessons today, spent my one free marking books and sorting out the football team. Had kids in detention at break and lunchtime and after school, then took the girls down to Leyton Orient for their tournament - drew the first game 2-2. Lots to work on but really impressed so far. Was shouting instructions the whole game through, now my throat is really husky, good stuff. Hit the gym, then lesson planning, with a speedy dinner break. Wow, reading through that, I've been mightily productive :)

Got a call today from the lady whose car I bumped into. Left me a voicemail. Was very grateful that I'd left a note and sounded like she wouldn't completely rip me off, so good news there. Also got a call from the captain of that ladies' footy team inviting me to come to training on Thursday. Will probs be exhausted by then, but like I said, I love the purple legs and freezing fingers :)

Shadowing a year 7 kid all day tomorrow...busy busy. Can't remember what it was like to be in Year 7, but have got lots of exciting stuff on the timetable tomorrow like Art, ICT, and Science, whoop! Clearly will be weird following the same kids around for 5 lessons, but I'm sure we'll bond. Either that or they'll clock that I'm not fully qualified yet and destroy me. Fingers crossed it's the former option.

Anyway, gotta get to bed. Sorry that's not very exciting, but it's good to practice your reading skills :) (or so I tell my kids whenever they whine about reading stuff). Oh, just finally, don't know if I've mentionned J & R from my Y11 group, but usually they are really fussy madams - today, however, they were good as gold and even got merits, was over the moon! Would like to think they missed my from yesterday and so were being good because they love my teaching. Hmmm.

Shout outs:

To Shreqa, wow, you ramble like me :)
To the Futon Queen - I may be small, but you are smaller. Ate another of your yogurt prizes today, mwahahaha.
To Puja too, for being too responsible to join the lash parade - I salute you!

Today I remembered the whole point of working - getting paid! And more importantly, getting to spend that hard earned cash! After a joyful Subject Studies day, Mum and I went on a bit of a spree and I am now the proud owner of even more clothes and shoes that I have no space in my wardrobes for :) Aaah, I do love buying stuff.

In other news, I found out that there's a medical school in Sydney that does a 5 year graduate course. Exciting stuff - if I do acknowledge the whole "calling" to medicine I've been recently hearing rather louder than usual, there's definitely worse places to learn. Mmm, 5 years in the sun, whooop!

Tomorrow's the first match our girls' team is playing...am a wee bit nervous for the girls, mainly because we're playing 6-aside with all kinds of crazy rules like underarm roll-ins instead of throw-ins, and having to keep the ball under head height. Hope they cope ok...their first game is against our own U16 team - crikey! (yes, I am practising my Australian :) chuckle!)

Was glued to the Premiership highlights this weekend. Can't believe Spurs beat Chelsea, wonderful! And also Hammers beating Arsenal, mwhahahaha, there's still hope for this season! Am almost inspired to give that coach a call and brave the scary ladies' footy practice...particularly since after the energetic staff kickaround last Friday my legs are covered in purple bruises. That said, I have missed my purple legs...can't wait to play again!

I was going to do the responsible thing and go to bed...then I remembered my faithful lunch-time reader crew, so this post is dedicated to you guys.

Hmmm, what to talk about? Well, I haven't done any work aaaaall weekend and it has been absolutely wonderful. I don't know why I think that I have tomorrow off...even if I don't have to go to school, it's not like I have the whole day free to do as I wish. This is obviously going to come back and bite me tomorrow night, but oh well.

Had a scary experience in the sauna today (after a hectic dance class, of course)...strange people kept coming in - the first was this lady who kept mumbling to herself, and the second was this woman with loooooads of scary tattoos (not that I judge people based on their skin), and the third was this very large woman. Number 3 was by far the most unsettling, mainly because she proceeded to remove her towel and then slap moisturiser all over herself (what on earth is the point, you'll sweat it all out and then shower it off anyway). I was trying very hard to relax, but all I could hear was "slap, slap, slap, slap, slap". This continued for quite some time....I have no idea how long because my eye were screwed shut so I couldn't see the clock. Actually, thinking about it now, this might be why I started to feel faint...it felt like hours before the slapping stopped and I could leave (she was by the door). This is making me shudder, time to change topic.

Harvey, the baby son of the couple who own the studios we rehearse at, has absolutely gorgeous eyes. At 5 months old, he is entirely captivating. He is also very big. I can't really remember being a baby, but I know that back when I was small, babies were small too. Now they are massive. Seriously, Harvey could probably pass as a 2 year old (I mean, if he could walk and talk, or even just not gurgle for 2 minutes). My parents went to visit the new baby across the road (he's the grandson of the couple who live there) and said he too was a big baby. Actually, this is making me shudder too, I don't want to give birth to a giant baby.

Anyway, I really should go to bed now, but here's an interesting article about being a big serious adult. Have a lovely afternoon...hahaha, you're at work and I'm not. Yes, big serious adult, I think I've got a bit more to go. The frogman would agree.

Good things today:

1. Had an ace observation with my Year 8s, timing and pace of the lesson were spot on, feel really good about that.
2. Year 7 parents' evening - was lovely to meet the parents and show off the school.
3. Moving 4 of my Year 7s up a maths set.
4. Moving 1 of my Year 7s down a maths set. (The smarter ones amongst you will realise this means I have lost a whole 5 pupils from my class, yippee!)
5. Feeling more positive about the graduate entry medicine stuff. No promises, but this could well be the next step in the master plan.

Bad things today:

1. The long anticipated second car accident - oh dearie me, I knew this run was too good to be true. Once again a classic reverse manoeuvre into an innocent parked car. Left a note with my name and number, thought it was the right thing to do at the time, but thinking now, this may cause me more hassle than it's worth. Damage not big, but no doubt the owner of the car will claim thousands of pounds. Bye bye salary.
2. Car bumping delayed visit to the gym, hence have loads of energy and crossness and can't really get rid of it.
3. Looooooads of work piling up already. Yuck.

My poor car, sob sob. I wonder how many more little bumps the poor thing will have to take? Fingers crossed tomorrow is better. And that one day I learn to drive.

After 7 great weeks of not teaching on Wednesdays, I fear my glorious freedom is coming to an end. I have a meeting tomorrow morning to discuss my timetable loading (or lack of it) and I think it's almost certain that I will have to do a bit more work. Dang and blast. Oh well, I guess 10 timetabled teaching lessons a week is a bit on the cheeky side, but still, I think that's all I can cope with!

Support-taught Y10s and 9s today. Their teacher thought it'd be a good idea to get the laptops out; alas it wasn't. Despite testing the laptops before the lesson, they refused to work when it came to the crunch. All kinds of mayhem ensued in the classroom - at one point all the desks were pushed to the left side of the room due to my suggestion that perhaps the laptops weren't working because they were too far away from the wireless transmitter (this turned out to be not entirely untrue). Also logged in half the kids in the classroom and am now paranoid they all know my password and have deleted all my ActivStudio flipchart files. This is what happens when you use the same password for half your accounts. Not that I do that, *cough*. Anyway, fun and games nonetheless.

Football coaching at lunchtime was good fun, the girls are coming on well and our first tournament games are next week, very exciting! Ended up taking an impromptu PE lesson period 5 as well, where I taught the girls the legendary game of "wombats". Couldn't believe that I was actually getting paid to play football for half the day...I'm practically a professional footballer! Except earning in a day what they earn in a minute.

Put my thinking cap on with regards to Enterprise Week...am creating a commodities trading game to play with my Y7s (with sweetie prizes if they are good, and times table copying out in silence if they are bad). I'm very excited about the game, although it's still in the planning stages. Another sign perhaps that maths isn't quite my calling...who knows, maybe they will load my timetable with more Enterprise? Anything's better than Textiles!

First day back at school, and it already feels like we've never left. Kids were hyper (to be expected, I guess, what with Halloween and all....oooooh scary!). Year 7 PE first lesson - cross country. "T" came first in the race last time, but is being very seriously badly influenced by "K" (a right madam - anger management classes and everything!) and thus the pair of them decided to walk the whole way round and come in last. Doing an extra lap didn't seem punishment enough, so they may well have to run it again. Don't know what they're complaining about - one cross country lesson per half-term is nothing compared to cross-country every week. In tiny PE shorts and vest. In the snow. Softies.

Feeling my age when I started lecturing the Year 11s against smoking and causing Halloween havoc. They think I am about 40, I love it.

Year 7s last lesson were absolutely off their nut. Not a good lesson to bring out scissors, glue, complicated nets etc. Technical difficulties let me down, then I managed to pull a blind off the window (don't ask). Kids were very confused and hyper, almost completely lost the lesson; they just kept chatting away and getting outta their chairs and just not listening, was really frustating. Luckily managed to save it towards the end, but not impressed with myself, need to get control of those monkeys and quickly.

Just as I was feeling really crap about the whole teaching lark, I marked the Year 8 half-term homework. Ever since Little S has been on report, she's really pulled her socks up, and put so much effort into her work that I've been really pleased. Her homework was perfect - correct answers, working out, even did the extra questions! I was inspired to call her guardian to tell her how well S is getting on (unfortunately couldn't get through, but will persevere). Brought hope back to my heart!

Had a laugh in kick aerobics. Was impressed by the contrast when the instructor's tape broke and so we had to wait two minutes. 25 ladies just chatted quietly and waited patiently. Complete opposite to my Year 7s, who go bananas when not occupied for a mere 10 seconds. Oh well.

Finally, had my day put in perspective by Wiltshire with her articles on Mathare (here and here). Reminded me to stop complaining and be happy. But I'm still convinced teaching is a vocation - who would do it otherwise?

Teacher training days are a gift sometimes. What a way to ease yourself back into school...a day of learning about interactive whiteboards (IWBs) and eating free food, yum yum. I think it might just be the IT geek in me, but the man doing the presentation was amazing, so entertaining. He used to be a maths teacher and knew exactly how to keep us engaged. The best thing he did wasn't to do with IWBs at all tho - he had this book called the "holy bible" and he was telling a story with it, and somehow managed to make the pages go from blank, to having black outlines of images, to being full colour pictures - it was so cool, especially cos I still can't figure out how he did it! I hope one day I can make my lessons as entertaining as his presentation (not to mention be able to do as much with my IWB as he could).

Went to the "Thriller" masterclass at the gym; realised I'm still ridiculously unco-ordinated when it comes to dancing to routines, but actually not a bad dancer. Got slightly obsessed with my image in the mirror, to the detriment of my dancing obviously, but still bags of fun. Decided to do no work tonight, will sort it out tomorrow.

Also decided that now is the time to finally get working on all those skills I've wanted for ages, so will start doing some research on piano lessons and also on how to create and interpret horoscopes (using birth charts the traditional ancient way). Random skills, yes, but I'm interested!

Ooooh and finally, the new head of sixth form approached me today and asked me if I'd be interested in teaching A-Level Sociology. Having had no experience of learning an Arts A-Level, let alone actually teaching one, of course I jumped at the chance.

Right, bed time. Patently will be dark when I have to wake up tomorrow, and also dark when I leave school, great. Roll on Christmas, only 7 weeks to go!

What's the best thing to do when you've got looooooads of work to do? That's right, mess about on your blog. Wise decision, very wise.

So, what're the highlights I hear you ask? Well, TF reunion on Thursday was good stuff, alas drank far too much and ended up in Farringdon (though managed to stay out of Fabric, so one "good girl" point to me). Even did the outrageous and let uni friends meet teaching friends (shocking, I know!). It's all part of making everyone friends with everyone...I will reach my goal eventually.

Friday night in Oxford was epic - I love my Furies and I love my Keble and, of course, I love my goooooose! Was so much fun, I honestly had forgotten how much of a laugh we all have together. Great to catch up just generally, and oh the drinking games, the fun never stops! Did a spectacular good deed by inviting a lost looking girl to come sit with us in the pub while she waited for a her friends. Undid my good deed by being a complete prick to the bouncers at PT (will apologise to them when I'm next up). Drank far far too much again, and worst of it all was that we were back in the goose less than 12 hours later and I was still in the same clothes (oh dear indeed). Oh well, it's a one off. Loved watching Keble - Teddy Hall play on Sat morning today; although really shoulda been to that lunch back in Essex, whoops!

Spent most of yesterday hungover, spent most of today at a wedding in Maidenhead. Was up at 8am to get ready (saris take faaaar too long....can't wait for the "throw on" sari to be invented!). Lovely wedding - first one I've been to where the couple are Sinhalese and Tamil, thus two weddings one after the other. Sinhalese wedding was cool - they have acrobatic dancers in amazing costumes to parade the bride and groom, it was wicked cool! Sadly you had to be quiet during that ceremony, whereas in the Tamil ceremony there's loads of music so we can chatter away. Was weird though, sitting in that wedding, cos I kept thinking how expensive weddings are (most of them are £15k+ nowadays) which is so strange to when you think how poor people back in Sri Lanka are, and then how rich and decadent we all are over here.

Another strange thing was how my folks have started talking about my wedding, which is alarming in so many ways it's unreal. I accidentally knocked over a flower display at today's wedding - I'd like to think it was in shock when the conversation turned to my future matrimony. How can they be thinking about this, I'm still a kid! Well, I act like one anyway!

My lil cousin told me that her Mum wouldn't let her bring her dollies to the wedding - her dollies named Katie and Matthew! Texted Jonno and told her - I mean, what are the chances? And also what are the chances of me losing my yoghurt bet? Pretty not slim to none it seems. It's in the post Mouchio.

Went to choir rehearsal, along with the lovely Jade - well done Jade, finally someone who can read music and then actually sing what it says! Hope you'll be coming back!

Aaargh, why is half-term over already? Enough rambling. Big "Yo"s to the girls reading this at work, to my Furies and Disney gypsies, and to anyone else procrastinating.

I was in the middle of planning lessons on pie charts for my Y11s, but I had to stop because I'm just so overwhelmed by how clever they are! What an amazing idea - get a pie, cut it into different slices, use the size of these slices to represent people's favourite soap operas (18 out of 60 people liked Neighbours the best, giving a slice of 108 degrees, good stuff). The only thing that could make it better were if pie charts were actual pies, which you could eat after you'd absorbed all the useful statistical information.

I was reading another teacher's blog on TES the other day called "How Not To Teach". This blog is great; just when I feel I've reached the peak of my jadedness, Mr Read proves week after week there is so much further to go. He is very funny though, I appreciate funny. And further, his blog is being published as a book, which got me thinking, maybe if I actually made my blog funny and interesting (as opposed to a big old rant) then maybe someone will pay me to write it? On Neighbours (my other great source of knowledge...the first being Wikipedia) Boyd and Janae were raking it in by putting a webcam on their blog and running "dancing Toad" competitions. Maybe this is a potential money spinner for me too...I mean, who wouldn't want to try and get a picture of my "dancing Dad"?

I have also become even more obsessed with fruit teas, going to the extreme length of purchasing tea with my own money rather than "borrowing" from the gym. It's just so pretty watching the colours diffuse from the tea bag into the hot water, although clearly those colours come from chemicals, as opposed to healthy, wholesome, natural ingredients. Oh well.

This afternoon we're having an epic Teach First drink-a-thon. I reckoned it should be the "monopoly pub crawl", but fear that we will be parked in Wetherspoons all afternoon. Oh dear (she says gleefully).

And finally, the songs I love at the moment (almost as much as I love italics!):

John Legend - Save Room
Fish Go Deep (feat. Tracey K)- The Cure & The Cause
Cassie - Long Way To Go
Chamillionaire - Grown and Sexy
And the whole "Step Up" soundtrack.

My gosh, I'm one of those embarrassing teachers who's "down with the kids". Or at least thinks she's "down with the kids". Cringe.