Yippeeeeeee!!

Yes, that yippee can only be about one thing...making it to Easter break! I am patting myself on the back as I speak, making it a little difficult to type. Indeed, there were occassions during this term where I doubted I would make it, but good thing time just kept on rolling forward. And now here we are with a glorious two weeks off!

The kids were absolutely lovely today, perhaps because we had "fun" lessons and it was a half day. I bonded with my Y11s and joked with the Y9s, which was ace. The KS3 and KS4 assembly singing went great, I'm still on a high from it! The kids were all so excited and joined in with Stand By Me and we all danced around on stage too, it was so funny! We even had kids waving their hands side to side like in concerts and ooooohing with the backing singers. Aside from the staff band, there were some excellent singing and drama pieces from Y10 and Y11, plus everyone got a Cadbury's Creme Egg at the end of it (bribery from SLT, but whatever!). We got everyone outta school by 2pm and then it was bliss. So, yes, we ended on a high.

In other news, on Thursday I caught some Y10s bunking maths by hiding in the fire exit. The whole area stank of skunk and so I filled in a report suspecting them of using drugs in school. Obviously they ran away before I could get SLT to check their bags, and obviously they are denying it, but if they get an exclusion for this, that'll take my tally to seven. This will leave me needing three more to get to my year end target of contributing to ten exclusions (temporary, not permanent). Sure, it's awful to aim for something like this but if you think of it as enforcing discipline, well, it's not so bad. Plus, seriously, how audacious - to bunk maths and then take drugs during the lesson instead, shocking!

I'm on my way out now, but some solemn advice for the TFs can be found here (read particularly the first comment - that guy is clearly a bit of an English teacher). And also check out the video below of kids from my school. They're all from the year before I started, but it'll give you an idea of what they're like. Am especially made all warm inside by the backing track to the piece, and also that some of them were sweet enough to have made it.

The Apprentice

New series started tonight. First episode looked very promising with a nice rag-tag bunch of stab-in-the-back business types. The old "apprentice" stereotypical characters are evident i.e. we already have "Badgers" and "Sayids" coming to the fore-front. Interesting first challenge - selling coffee. Obviously one team messed up remarkably as per usual, while the other team had just as many cock-ups but managed to escape from the firing line. They all blamed each other and poor old Andy got the sack. I didn't like Andy at the start since it seemed like he was a bit sly with the whole project leader stuff, but his clumsiness as a manager made him endearing. But why on earth didn't Sir Alan fire Gerri? She didn't seem to have anything to offer and with regards to her boardroom defence all she said was "but I sold 11 cups"....rubbbish. Plus she looks like a retired beautician, who sadly could never afford the treatments herself. Not that I judge people or anything. Well, not as bad as my little brother, who spent the whole episode referring to the black girl as "Keisha" and the asian girl as "Shilpa". Diversity doesn't seem to be really valued.

Jadine, the girl who had to lead the boys, was absolutely appalling as a leader - so hostile and dominating and confrontational (albeit with some rather renegade characters working for her). She was very lucky her team won the task, else she would definitely be packing her bags.

Apart from Tre, who was pretty good at the business stuff, but appears to be a complete nightmare to work with (I can't wait till he's actually the project leader so that he gets a taste of his own medicine), the other person who stood out was the Essex girl. I can't remember her name, and she didn't really stand out in a good way, but all the things she said were hilarious and so "Essex" that it will be a complete fluke if she wins.

I personally would hate to be on the Apprentice. Having just helped a girl from uni out with some advice for her TF assessment centre, I don't even want to have to do that again, let alone a "12 week interview". The kinda characteristics that come out in people on the program aren't what I'd like to be like. But viewing is addictive and I'm sure I'll be glued for the next 11 Wednesdays (and not just to find out whether Margaret and Nick are more than just friends!)

On the tiny off-chance that Sir Alan is reading this, might I suggest giving each team a city Academy and a term in which to make it a shine? If you can do that, you can do anything.

A quote for the end from our old favourite "Teaching and Learning in Secondary Schools" (edited by Ellis): Teachers need to have a good sense of themselves and have to work hard at managing their emotional state so that it does not interfere with the business of teaching and learning....you do need to look hard at yourself and use your 'emotional intelligence'. Some sound advice for the last lesson of term with Y8!

Behaviour Policy

Before I launch into a mini-rant about behaviour at my beloved Academy, some updates:

Hair: it's now been 25 days since I washed it with shampoo and I swear it's cleaning itself! I mean, I still thoroughly wash it with just water, but it's nowhere near as greasy as it was at the start. Plus, it feels thicker (although this could just be me following the spin). I do miss the smell of shampoo and given that I've been off serious sport for this whole time, it's not been properly tested yet. So far so good though.

Piano: I have now had 10 lessons and am thoroughly enjoying myself. I actually feel myself getting better every week and my musical theory is miiiiiiiiiles ahead of where it was (no idea how I got my grades before; perhaps evidence that "theory" incorporated into Guildhall exams can be bypassed). It's strange how I have completely forgotten how to read bass clef notes once I stopped playing 'cello and focused on trumpet. Also it's strange how I can now get my hands to do different things at the same time - not as hard as it looks! I have decided that it's definitely an advantage to try and learn something like piano at a young age since it is so mentally challenging (in a good way...as opposed to some of my little angels at school!) so if my future kiddies are up for it, I'll be smiling.

Anyway, onto the "drivel" as my blog has so offensively been described. My school is due to implement a brand new behaviour policy next term. The SLT attempted to give us some kinda input into what we were going to do at the start of the term, but we've not heard anything about it since. I'm guessing they will suddenly bombard us with new rules and guidelines and we'll be just as clueless as the kids.

Now, I'm all for a behaviour policy and will do my best to apply it as well as I can, but something like a behaviour policy requires every member of staff to follow through with it. Our school is so full of "old staff" who say they've seen these things fail time and time again that I don't think I'd be far off the mark if they didn't even try to implement it (or, fingers crossed they don't, but they could even sabotage it). This obviously won't be a good start, but a good start is crucial to the success of the policy.

Speaking of sabotage then, the whole SLT have been increasingly distinctly AWOL this half of term. Consequently behaviour has slipped dramatically to an almost unbearable level.

Take today, lesson 4, Y10 maths. Usually the maths department enjoys greater respect and better behaviour than most of the rest of the school; perhaps because most members of maths are "institutions" and the kids know not to mess. However, today, 10 minutes into the start of the lesson and there were at least 12 Y10s hanging around outside the block, and a further 5 who had already been kicked out of their lessons. Kids are just walking outta lessons and lounging around and refusing to go back. The group I team-teach were absolutely off the wall due to a cover teacher being present. Thankfully the Head of Department stepped in to give them a rollicking at the end of the session, but in other classes kids are getting away with it. Where's the SLT or Head of Year to come and sort them out? Nowhere to be seen. So the kids know they can get away with it and push it a little further each day.

I don't wanna be cynical or conspiracy theory about this, but I'm convinced the SLT are deliberately letting things slide with regards to behaviour so that next term when the new policies are introduced and behaviour improves, they can give all the credit to the marvellous new policy. In truth though, for the most part things will be better because they are finally doing their jobs again.

I guess I don't really care what eventually causes behaviour to improve as long as it does, but I can see things getting worse before they get better.

In other news, I'm singing in assembly on Friday - yes, dodgy I know, hahaha, but we'll see how we get on....

Wellbeing

I think I'm outta the funk. I don't wanna speak too soon, and perhaps it's because there're only 4 days left before the Easter break, but I feel a distinct ache on my face - the consequence of the return of my smile. Good stuff.

So, something I've just been reading rather than planning for Year 8 tomorrow. I mean, surely it's a good idea to reward your most badly behaved class with lots of sweets and games rather than algebra during their last few lessons?

It's a loooong Observer article about "Wellbeing" lessons and positive psychology, but worth a read. I'm gonna go to bed instead of summarising it for you, but I actually think teaching kids strategies to be happier would be a good thing (although I guess it's still debatable whether happiness can be taught or whether tendency towards happiness is something inherent within our characters). Either way, more Circle-Time material :)

Before I go, here are the ten tips from "Making Slough Happy" (courtesy of NetMums) - wellbeing tips if you wish...

Count your blessings each day

Have a good laugh every day

Cut TV viewing by half

Plant something and look after it

Get physical

Talk time – an hour conversation
with good friend or partner once a week

Say hello to a stranger every day

Phone a friend or relation

Treat yourself and enjoy it

Daily kindness – do a good turn

TF Does Disney

Yes, it is late on Sunday afternoon. And yes, my lesson planning is failing miserably.

Noor's Birthday

I had planned this whole post on the Tube journey home from Noor's birthday drinks. Obviously it was full of wit and wisdom and other positive things. Sadly though, whilst sipping my hot chocolate and watching MTV (as I am wont to do after a few drinkies), I was shocked to find the time on the cable screen jump forward an hour. This shock (of the clocks going forward for those of you still confused) promptly knocked all thoughts of the post right outta my head. So, I will have to make it up as I go along.

Firstly, the backs of my ankles are slightly cut up, thus once again proving the age-old adage "the prettier the shoe, the more it'll hurt". Secondly, apologies to Disney for not being able to make the shenanigans tonight, am gutted...one day soon we will be reunited in the Goose...till then I can only dream. Thirdly, I just received a text from my lil bro saying "please can you find a space for Narcissa's tank". He is coming home tomorrow, along with his delightfully named goldfish, Narcissa. The other one, Ratzinger (named after the Pope for the confused ones who've opted to continue reading - gold stars for perseverence), passed away, and was remembered in a moving ceremony on the top of the Cripps building, where he was charred to ash.

So, on to Noor's birthday. Highlights:

• St. Stephen's Tavern, the shin-dig venue, was nowhere near as busy or expensive as I had expected. A truly lovely pub right next to Westminster tub with comfy seating, rapid service, and friendly staff to boot - well worth a visit.
• Noor - so funny and sweet and her smiley self. Happy birthday you crazy Iraqi!
• Yeen - a solid appearance after a 6 hour long first date with some lad she met at Guanabara last weekend. Excellent, the matchmaker in me fills with warmth at the prospect of a second date there. And a big boooooo to her subject mentor - how do these awful people get positions of responsibility in schools? If I ever get promoted, please keep me in touch with what I came from.
• Gid - I love him and his abs! And now his Calvins and his tanned skin too. Shame he's gay, he's adorable. I wonder who I can set him up with....
• Hattie, Sarah and Lizzie - the rest of the TF girls who turned out tonight, full of stories and banter, I do love them (Ginger - booooooo, what happened to you?)
• CK - so camp and silly, the more I see him the more I question his existence. Kidding. I do like the fact that his forearm is longer than my ankle-to-start-of-thigh length. And that he calls my kids "shites".
• Noor's friend Sarah - works for Deloitte in Jersey and was very proud of the day-long drinking culture there. Practically convinced me to apply. Also, she wore a wig due to alopecia and was very positive and brave when speaking about this, so props to her for sharing and inspiring. Plus told a hilarious accountancy joke: What did the accountant do when he had constipation? He worked it out with a pencil. Yuck! Heeheee.

With regards to other things I like, current tops include afternoon naps, feeling the sports pedals of my car with my bare feet, reading the Guardian blogs, and looking forward to treating my kids with sweets. Life is good today.

Y8 Parents' Evening

Firstly, woo hoo, only one week till the Easter break!

Thursday night saw Y8 parents' evening take over the foyer and main hall. Parents (and associated other carers...I mean, what a potential minefield - I spent ten minutes talking to one "mum" who later turned out to be the child's sister!) and kiddies busily scrambled around meeting and missing appointments with various subject teachers between 4:30pm and 7:30pm. My schedule was reasonably full, although luckily with frequent gaps in which to run away for tea.

So on to the revenge I had prepared to exact upon my little monsters. After almost two terms of regular chaos and mayhem from this class, you would think I'd have lots of constructive criticism to dish out. But, actually, when it came down to it, I found streams of enthusiasm and positivity flowing from my mouth rather than the bitter crossness I had expected. It was something about the hopefulness and pride in the eyes of the parents and the kids sitting across the desk from me that stopped me ranting. I did my best to tell it like it is and most of them were understanding and supportive about their child's behaviour issues. But, on the whole, that class has actually done really well with regards to effort, progress, and homework. And even with D and S, there were positives there. The more experienced teachers told me I should be as blunt as I could and not put any spin on the truth. Maybe in time I will do that. But right now I'm still naive and so I'll stick to trying to ensure the positives outweigh the negatives. Besides, I don't think Mrs K could take any more teachers telling her her boy is almost 100% nutty.

Some other links for you:
one from the Sun about some drama at our Academy during comic relief;
an old blog entry about the silliness of putting inexperienced teachers in the classroom;
and one about how completely pointless it is to make blockbuster films about teachers "saving" their pupils through some random skill like ballroom dancing.

Ten Golden Rules For Myself

· I should give myself the same care and attention as I give others.

· I am not an endless ‘resource’ for others, I must stock up on ‘reserves’ and not get too drained.

· I have needs to which may be different from my family’s, my friends or my colleagues.

· I do not have to say ‘yes’ to all requests – or feel guilty if I say ‘no’.

· The ‘perfect’ parent, partner, child or career person does not exist – the ‘good-enough’ one does!

· I have the right to be treated with respect as a worthwhile, intelligent and competent person.

· I do not have to have everyone’s approval all the time to know that I am trying my hardest.

· Time for unwinding is time very well spent.

· Making mistakes is not a disaster – I can learn from these and it allows others to as well.

· I must be fair to myself and remember, at all times especially in the face of criticism, anxiety and difficulties, THAT I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN!!

Courtesy of the Circle-Time Website.

Circle-Time

This is amazing. I think I may have another potential career to add to my list - "Circle-TIme Fanatic". This isn't a real job sadly, but anyway.

Before the amazingness of Circle-Time though, some updates. Soul is still ravaged but am sello-taping the bits together so that it lasts until Easter. Felt better because today my subject mentor was practically in tears herself about the absolute chaos the school is in. Just realised it is a bit vicious to feel good that someone else feels bad, but given that I was all ready to have a mini-breakdown, it was good to hear that it's not just me and that in fact almost all the staff are finding school pretty unbearable at the moment. I sense things will come to a head soon, great, more drama :)

In further awful news, some horrid Y10s have stolen my "happy stamps", which means that all the books I have marked this week are without colourful expressions of praise disguised as frogs and monkeys. Booo. Also, my Y8s are up in arms because one of them threw chewing gum across the room on Tuesday (gross) and so I got our Head of Department in and he threatened to write letters home to all their parents/guardians if no-one admitted to it. Luckily they're still at the age where they give one about what their parents say and so some of them told on the culprit. C is flatly denying it so I think a public dressing-down may well be in order tomorrow.

My Professional Tutor from Canterbury has sadly broken her elbow in two places, which means I think I will get away with a whole half-term without being observed once, good stuff. When someone finally watches me teach again, I think they're gonna be in for a bit of shocker since I have become a wee bit rubbbbbbish. Oh well.

So, onto Circle-Time. Today, period 2, in an attempt to get me some behaviour management tips (not to mention anger management tips!) I observed a session in the LSU. They had a specialist in from Behaviour Support Services, who comes in once a week to help pupils who have been identified as lacking in social skills. Now, in my opinion, most kids in the school are a bit weak on the old emotional intelligence, but the ones I saw today were probably pretty low even when compared to the others.

Anyway, the session was on identity, done through Circle-Time. This is basically a behaviour and social skills model pioneered by Jenny Mosely. It teaches kids all kinds of things, but principally how to think, listen, look and share using the safety of the circle, where there are no barriers, everyone is equal and everyone is included.


The model works through games and stories that help the children learn different skills and share experiences. For example, in today's session each child had a worksheet with some different aspects of their identity on it and they had to tick what they though described them (e..g I am tall; I have lots of friends; I always keep calm). Then we put all the papers in the middle and took turns reading them out to try and guess which paper belonged to which member of the circle. Then, later, a special box was handed around and it had a mirror in the bottom. The specialist told the kids that there was something very special and unique in the box - when kids looked in the box they saw themselves! This led to a good discussion about how we should be proud about our uniqueness and what makes us who we are.

I was thoroughly amazed at how the specialist had all the kids under control, and not just that, but actively participating! It was a joy to watch such awkward and "baggaged" children feel so safe and confident - the dynamics within the circle were just great!

I've now got lots of ideas to try with my Y7 groups. It's so important for kids to learn how to be in our society, but we never really think about teaching them. The Circle-Time resources are all about teaching kids how to interact in positive ways. Further, they made me reassess the way I behaved in class too. I'm going to try and be much more positive and instead of criticising poor behaviour, praise positive behaviour instead. The first step is to switch from writing "bad" names on the board to writing only "good" names on the board. I'm going to try and be calm and speak quietly and slowly. And I'm gonna try to realise that I'm not always right (a tricky one!)

So, yes, any teachers out there, please check it out. I think it's aimed more at primary school kids, but I'm sure it's good for our secondary kids to learn this stuff too. At any rate, I really enjoyed getting away from maths and going back to working with kids. In all the hustle and bustle of targets and reports and standards, I think sometimes we forget that we're working with people here and that there's more to learn than solving equations.

Funny Things

Well, this first bit isn't that funny. F in Y10 has been put into the custody of social services after going majorly AWOL and getting in trouble with the police. Her mum is apparently a "psycho" threatening to "kidnap her". This means she can't go home and so there is lots of drama surrounding that. Further, she has effectively been temporarily excluded from school and is instead in the LSU (Learning Support Unit) all day rather than in class. I remarked that there should be a drama series about her since her life is just one big saga, to which she laughed, thus making me realise I should stop complaining and start smiling.

So I won't tell you about my ok-day (except for the school band practice after class, which was so much fun....seriously, no-one can escape my "killer" voice or trumpet, hahahaha). Instead I will share with you a number of things that have made me laugh in the last 20 mins.

Firstly, Sanju's blog....another record of maths TF-ing. Check out in particular Taruna's extended comment (a Science TFer) - me thinks she needs her own blog! Poor girl on the residential, hahahaha.

Secondly, this delightful link sent from Rouse Mouse....a whole blog dedicated to Neighbours from someone who seems to waste even more time than me!

And thirdly, very funny email excerpts from our favourite beige couple...

Sprouse: PS i just realised that email had no content. it's because i haven't done anything worth writing about lately.
except there were lots of plant pots on fire on broad street the other day. and my canadian stalker has got in contact again, i saw him in town the other day and thought he hadn't noticed me but he emailed. he's not a very good stalker, he hasn't said anything since september. i want a new one.

Pij: Electricity was thus cut off roundabout October when there was food such as salmon and an assortment of meats in the freezer. Oh dear. So, in climbed the maggots for a wonderful wonderful feast but alas once in they had no escape and in a futile attempt to get out clambered all the way to the top of the freezer where they died anyway. Losers.

Sprouse: oh and there is AN AMAZING dvd in jij's house. i think it might even be better than the incredible shrinking man. meena, you should get it for your brother, he'd love it. lady julia ramsbottoms' tour of cambridge.

Pij: I have got to the level where I can scream at my kids now and then tell them I don't like shouting when they all look like they are about to cry. Kids are sily and uncoordinated. I also don't let them win in games sometimes and dribble past all of them when I play football with them. Sometimes they cry and then I just do it again. I love my job.

Girls, you make me laugh. Pij, I think TF is calling you. And Sprouse, not sure about the dream but obviously it's something to do with anxiety (as they all are) and perhaps pressure from people who matter to you to conform in a way you don't want to/don't think it's right to. Any dream about tat is a winner though.

Very Inefficient Lesson Planning

By lesson planning, I mean procrastination. I hate lesson planning. I think I've said this before. Woo hoo, only two more Sundays of planning and then it's Easter break. Let's woo hoo one more time...something to aim for!

So during my procrastination I have:

1. More or less read the entire Sunday Times Online.
2. Messed about on Facebook
3. Eaten half the Rococo plain chocolate bar we got for free (yum yum, although now I feel a bit sick)
4. Chewed 3 pieces of gum
5. Drank 2 glasses of water

On the plus side, I have now managed to plan two lessons. Well done me.

Anyway, I'm going to have lunch now, but I will probably be back later. In the meantime, here and here are some good short posts by other teachers, with whom I can most definitely sympathise. Seems like teaching is tough for everyone, just gotta focus on the old light at the end of the tunnel. And by that I mean the Easter break!

Happy birthday Mouchio! Another year older, another year wiser, another year sillier :)

Update 17:00
Lessons for Y7 and Y8 planned, including one super-duper group work lesson on birthday parties and making formulae to figure out how many balloons, pizzas, cups etc. we need. Got the idea mymaths and am risking the old group work since am being observed with Y8 on Thurs. Have decided not to plan too enthusiastically or look forward to this lesson since this could jinx it.

Y11 lessons still to be planned - covering probability for the last time before GCSEs this week. Am being observed on Tues with Y11 so this will require some work. Two observations in one week, bang.

In other news, am still obsessed with Extreme's "More Than Words", have sung along to it approx 11 times already this afternoon. Time for a tea break.

Update 20:38
Lesson planning complete for the day! Whoop! Hilariously inefficient though. Oh well.
In other news, my Mum is very pleased with her mini-roses pot plant and Belgian chocolate egg, which makes me pleased. Also listened in on an interesting discussion my parents were having with a doctor friend of theirs about the best car to buy right now (best car = the nicest car that won't actually get nicked by the various criminals who come to our road just to rob stuff). Realised I wouldn't be able to buy aaaaaany of these cars for about 50 years with this crummy pay, and even then only if I am willing to live in said car because I sure as heck won't be able to afford any kinda house independently. Decided that tomorrow I will find out how long it will take me to earn £30k a year, before allowing the shocking answer to lead me to once again contemplate my "coulda been" life in the City, and to drive me to ginger bread men.

Less doom and gloom

Relax, this post won't be all doom and gloom. How can it be, I'm eating Starburst? I better type fast though, since the come-down from the sugar high could well be shocking.

So let's get the doom outta the way. I am housebound this weekend because my cold has returned and my knee is hurt again after a heavy tackle in the staff kickaround yesterday. My Dad is once again calling me "Limping Lucy". I don't think he realises I rather dislike this particular pet name.

And now for the gloom. School was just about bearable, perhaps because I wasn't in on Weds and was so hungover on Thurs that I skipped home early. Responsible. Lots of drama concerning F in Y10 and potential accusations from her mother about inappropriate relationships with staff. Some other people have got far more involved that me, but still, I can sense trouble ahead on that front.

In more positive news, visited my old school, Forest, on Wednesday. Saw a range of Key Stage 3, 4 and 5 lessons. Was very impressed, particularly with partial fractions being taught without a board! A little bit scared though since hardly remember most of A-Level so could be tricky if I get an AS class in Sept. Saw a hilarious class of Y7 boys in the computer suite playing with fractions software. Also visited the brand new sports centre, sat at the teachers' table at lunch, went into the staff common rooms and saw lots of my old teachers - all very strange experiences but fun. Deffo learnt a lot and am still so surprised at how keen most teachers seem to be when it comes to sharing advice and resources and helping the new teachers out. The grass did seem better on the other side, but I didn't really want to be grazing over there either, if you see what I mean.

Later that evening went to the "Women in Leadership" even hosted by TF at Lehman Brothers. Seriously one of the better events I've been to - lots of charismatic speakers such as the chairman of the Women of the Year Assembly, the founder of Rococo Chocolates, the headmistress of a London school, a choral conductor who founded the Voices Foundation, and the head of Capital Advisory at Lehman. Learnt loads and loads, the most useful being three tips for teachers as leaders:

1. be a role model and find a role model: think about how people regard you, make other people feel good, boost other people's confidence, be positive
2. self-confidence/self-esteem: bellieve you can do something, recognise that you don't have all the answers, accept you will make mistakes, let someone else take the credit
3. get the best out of others: we are there to facilitate others, allow them to try (and fail) with safety net

That's kinda in note form, sorry about that. The other good little thing to remember is the 4 Rs of teaching/leading:

1. Reflect
2. Review
3. Revise
4. Resilience

Enough said about that.

Obviously the smart thing to do when you are feeling off-key is to go out and get hammered so that's what I did. Bad sign definitely when not just one, but two bars have to make you leave because they're closing. Was also pretty devastated when I thought I'd lost my teaching notebook, really should make a copy of some of the things in there. Luckily it was found, phew. Somehow we managed to get home, and my folks managed to hold back the critical/disappointed looks in the morning, so that was ok. Props to Sanju since she was actually being observed lesson 1 on Thurs and found that teaching hungover is a good look for her. Not so much for me, my lessons were ok but that's probably because I so beyond caring that nothing could get to me.

Anyway, it's the weekend now and I still can't hit the gym so instead am just gonna do my best to keep my chin up and stop this funk. That said though, am listening to "Kidz" by Plan B at the moment, and you know I spend all my days with these clowns, so what have I got to be wallowing about really? I can't wait to get back to being me.

Tough Day?

Think you've had a tough day? Join my club. Currently I am the president, treasurer and secretary, and there's only one real member on our roll, but I'm sure we'll expand with time.

So before I start the ranting, a shout out to Jade for such a lovely piano lesson that took me away from the madness of the day. A shout out to me too for being able to concentrate on things and have some perspective - if teaching does anything for me, it'll be how to keep perspective and look at the big picture (though having re-read this post, it appears I have no perspective at all. But trust me, this is a massive improvement from about 6 hours ago!)

But forget the big picture for now. Let's delve into the toughness of the day.

There were a lot of things that weren't fun today. I won't go into all of them but what they shared in common was complete disrespect by the kids. And I'm talking the kinda back-chat and attitude and downright abuse I still couldn't even bring myself to inflict on anyone, let alone at 11 years old. I can't think when I was most shocked - when a crazy girl stormed into a detention after school and threatened to beat up one of my detainees, or when the detainee in question said to his mate "she's gonna suck my c*ck" after she'd left. His mate in the detention had already shouted out to the class that he was gonna get himself excluded and an ASBO as well.

I've had numerous kids today storm outta things, shout rudely, knock things over, hit each other, walk out during conversations, give attitude, and just behave entirely inappropriately. By the end of the day I was harbouring real fantasies of quitting. Another maths teacher told me that most teachers feel like this because the job is just so stressful. She said that there were times when she'd just gone home and cried after work cos school was so tough. I'm kinda pleased that I still haven't cried over school, but today was definitely a very close call.

I guess my problem boils down to three main things. The first is that I don't know how to command respect. Actually, let me rephrase that - it's more than I have never had to earn respect, I've just always been in situations where people just respect each other. So it's really hard when the kids are practically running riot all over the shop and it seems like there's nothing you can do. This is probably all down to classroom control and behaviour management, which I can't help but think I must be rubbish at.

This brings me to my second thing - my almost complete inability to accept shortcomings or look for help. I've always been good at most things, so I find it tough to deal with the fact that this isn't easy for me. Plus I kinda see flaws as weaknesses, and I refuse to show weakness, so when I feel rubbish about teaching or something, I hardly ever say anything, I just bottle it and then take it out in the gym or something like that. I feel like it's not fair to burden someone else with it, which makes it worse because then I can't help but feel I'm all alone in this when really I should know I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, I always try and improve and fix the things I'm doing wrong, but with teaching sometimes it feels so futile. I guess that's the third thing - frustration. Teaching at my school in this situation is just so frustrating - it feels like you take one step forward and about nine steps back; it also feels like everything is against you sometimes, as if the whole system is conspiring against you ever achieving anything, let alone just keeping your head afloat. When it comes to trying to improve things, It's never a simple, do this and this will happen type thing; it's so complex with so many variables and random factors that the solutions are never easy or obvious.

Despite having some really good lessons, I'm still not confident in my abilities to really do this, to actually stick it through for two years and feel like I'm a good teacher. I take the negatives so much more seriously than the positives. This is weird for me since anyone who knows me would say I was an optimist. And in fact this morning I got outta bed really excited and ready for school, but then it just went downhill and I ended up wondering what the hell I was doing, putting myself through all this sh*t for what?

Anyway, I am over it now, it's fine, forget it. Can't be dwelling on today, it's done, I just need to stay focussed and in control. Besides, I'm visiting my old school tomorrow and it's a great time to feel like the grass is greener on the other side. Even if it's really not.

PS After a shower, here are some positives - always end on a positive :)

1. The respect I have for people who've dedicated their lives to education
2. The joy I get from actually teaching something to someone
3. How funny the kids are sometimes
4. Knowing that I'm really challenging myself rather than taking the easy option, and that no doubt I'm actually learning from this job
5. Having this as my biggest worry - I need to get over myself; I mean how many millions of people are in a worse situation?

By the way, check me out with my sharing and stuff....I am getting so much better with talking about all this kinda stuff. Well, writing about it. Although I kinda miss being a clam of a person....

First Day Back...

...was alright. Pretty good in fact. The kids said they'd missed me and that the cover teachers "were rubbish" :) Felt guilty for not marking most of their cover work, but there's aaaaacres of it. With Y11 some things that made me laugh:

Me: Pick a number between 1 and 5.
N: 10.
Rest of class: Derrrrrr, between 1 and 5 you thicko, etc....
Me: Everyone makes mistakes.

Later in the same lesson:
Me: So then we multiply 0 by 5, which gives us 5.
Class: No it doesn't, derrrrrrr, it's 0. It's always 0.
Me: Aaah yes, that was a deliberate trick question.
Class: Teachers always say that when they mess up.

Despite minimum planning, lessons went really rather well. Have been inspired to make my lessons more creative, hence tonight have done lots of planning. Looking forward to Friday with Y7 where I'm teaching "multiplication from around the world" (with crazy techniques from China, Russia, Egypt and the Western world). Also made pretty ActivStudio flipcharts. Am slowly becoming addicted to ActivStudio, very baaaad. There's always more you can do to your flipcharts (kinda like powerpoint presentations, but on software that works with Prometheon whiteboards), but I have decided to cut myself off for the night. Besides, there's only so many pretty animations and sounds you can throw in to keep the kids on task; it's like anything else in economics - every additional unit has marginally less impact.

What else? Contemplated setting up an Ultimate Frisbee club at school in the summer term. Made dinner (an exceptional circumstance for me since my folks tend to coooooooook away meaning I don't have to!) - a random concoction of bacon and leeks in a cheesy roux with spaghetti. Yummy. Feel like hair is unbearably greasy, although am sure it's really not. Still love my "new" room, and dancing around to Nathan. Spoke to Berts about Venice, sounds very promising, am looking forward to it mightily.

Just figured out why my wrists hurt when I played the piano earlier - think I've given myself RSI. Time to stop. Mmmm bed.

Updates

I particularly like the thought I've put up today, very relevant. Babs often used to say "if you fail to prepare, prepare to fail". Yes. So I guess my lessons tomorrow are going to be a write-off. Oh well.

So the updates...

The lurgy: Is better, much better. Thursday and Friday went a bit downhill since I developed a delightful sneezy nostril/eye watering combo, which wasn't great, but a necessary stage through the lurgy. Now I am only slightly coughy and pale-looking, but I feel good. In fact, despite thinking it was irresponsible, I put in an appearance at Ginger's birthday drinks last night, and felt ok there (and hopefully didn't pass the lurgy on). Ginger was in fine form; highlights including falling off and over her chair numerous times, shouting rude words around the pub, and replacing the padding in her bra with the little table number triangle stands. Good stuff.

The house: The stairs to the loft are in! They are such beautiful stairs as well. One of my mother's victorian cupboards has moved back to their room and so my room has been completely reshuffled. I think it has been very positively feng shui-ed, and as a plus point I can now dance around the middle of the room again, excellent.

School: I haven't thought about it too much, and have decided not to think about it until tomorrow when I am actually there. Hence the failing of the lessons.

Easter: Flights are booked to Venice! Woo hoo, very excited!

My hair: This isn't really an update since I haven't mentioned it before, but I have decided to stop washing my hair with products. Gross I hear you say. Well, so far, not so bad actually. A little more greasy, but doesn't feel too awful. That said, all I've been doing is lounging around. The real test is morning-after-sweating-all-nite-at-the-club hair. Shudder. My brother stopped washing his luscious locks with products about a year ago and his hair is still amazing (even though he did lop his dreads off and now has a closely shaven "mop"). Supposedly after three months it'll become fully self-cleaning. Great, three months, woo! So yes, will keep you posted on that one.

Dreams: Had a coupla weird ones. In one my whole family really lived in another house, but it was my uncle's house so we had to keep hiding so that they wouldn't notice we lived there too. In another (and I've had this one twice) my subject mentor at school tells me I won't get QTS because I am failing all the standards. Then she suggests that there is a way that I can pass - if I buy her lots of stuff. During the dream she slowly evolves into wearing a fortune-teller/gypsy woman type garb, very strange. And in the second version of the dream, instead of me having to buy her stuff, I have to teach her very crazy offspring in my year 7 set 2 group in return for getting QTS. The third dream involves me having to teach at another school, and I have a group of about 50 year 10s and they all ignore me so every time it's their lesson I go to the pub instead, but then I get caught. I also had a nightmare yesterday morning, but that is too scary to relive on here.

In other news, how annoying was the Spurs-Chelsea game this afternoon? Why can we never hold onto a lead when it matters? I hate defensive play at the best of times, but why doesn't Jol realise this doesn't work for us? On the plus side, at least we drew so there's a home replay. I watched the game in the living room with lots of middle-aged Tamil women since my mother was holding a committee meeting (she's President of her old school's girls' association). It was pretty fun since some of them knew quite a lot about football, plus I love hearing people shout at the TV in Tamil.

I wonder if there's an old pupils' association at my school...?
Have a lovely week!

Special Times

This is my 100th post! How exciting!

In further special times news, Sunday was my 6th month anniversary of teaching. 6 months eh, can you believe it?

How have I celebrated? By falling spectularly ill. Good choice. I haven't been to school since last Friday.

Admittedly Monday was a SS day, and I was only slightly coughing through that. To the untrained eye, I appear to be fine. I mean, I'm sitting here writing this blog aren't I? But you have to remember that "I am a machine". Yes. So despite not appearing to actually be properly ill, I am not my normal energetic self. The fact that I am home is a big thing since so far I haven't taken any time off and I can't remember the last time I actually had to skip stuff because I was ill (if you don't count the torn ACL that is).

So clues that I am ill:

1. Spent about 80% of each of the past two days in bed with a nice pot of Vicks.
2. Been wearing pyjamas since Monday night.
3. Haven't been to the gym, played my piano, or attended mid-week lash opportunities
4. All meals consist of toast or soup or toast and soup.
5. My body feels like a broken bag of bones (this is probably the best clue on the list)

At first I thought I had TB (paranoid) but now I don't really know what is wrong. In any case, I am hoping my super combo of vit c, zinc, echinacea, water and bed will do the trick.

I feel remarkably guilty about missing school and my kids' lessons, but then as soon as I contemplate having to stand in front of a class all day, my head thumps a little louder. Besides, I wouldn't want to spread any germs would I...

Something to inspire any other sick teachers out there...

TFTs: a good blog on EAL in Canada...can't be slacking off WA3 now can we?

PS A downside of sleeping all day means you can't sleep at night, so check out the updated links. Mouche and Ange, I have officially given up on you guys!

EAL

Subject Studies Days are becoming more and more useful as we finally get all this teaching jargon under our belts and begin to connect it all together.

Today we studied dyscalculia and EAL (English as an Additional Language - but really you should know that by now!) - specifically barriers to teaching and learning and strategies to overcome them.

Lots of wonderful discussion and sharing, but one of the most interesting things for me today was Sanju's 10 minute "lesson" to us in Bengali. Essentially she took basic arithmetic concepts and launched straight into a lesson on them entirely in a foreign language. She began by just reciting the numbers, then she wrote them on the board and kept asking us to do sums with them. Despite having a pretty thorough understanding of arithmetic (I know that 3+7=10!), I was pretty thrown by the new words, sounds, letters and questioning. Further, I found that I couldn't say that I was confused because I didn't have the words to do so.

During the lesson it was amazing to see the reaction of the class; a good proportion simply gave up on the lesson and completely switched off, whilst the ones that were trying to understand just giggled nervously and stared blankly when questions were asked to them. How many times have I seen this in my own classroom?

I honestly felt totally out of my depth but I did try to understand and even got some of the questions right, but maybe that was just fluke. That was only for 10 minutes though - imagine sitting through days and days of school having a bare minimum comprehension of what is going on...nightmare.

I have loads more respect and understanding for these kids now, particularly since our schools are tough places anyway without having to deal with a strange language and culture, along with all the emotional scars and baggage a lot of them come with.

They gave us lots of ideas to try and help them, but ultimately I feel it's just a case of time and exposure to the language. We were told that once the language kicks in, EAL kids often zoom ahead with their learning. In this sense being EAL isn't so much of a disadvantage since at least it can be "fixed". It's not a quick fix mind, but having heard stories of kids speaking no English at all in Y7 then getting an A* in maths five years later, there's hope there. Sadly there's nothing so simple for the life-long SEN kids; language isn't the only barrier for them.

Dyscalculia

Apparently only 1% of the world's population has heard of this condition, which is crazy given that 4 - 6% of people suffer from it. So, in an attempt to "spread the word" as the dyscalculiaforum urges us to do (thanks for that link elly, I'll be trying to get that video shown in our study day tomorrow) some info for you:

• the term refers to a wide range of life-long learning disabilities involving maths
• in very fancy word: sufferers experience dysfunction in the reception, comprehension, or production of quantitative and spatial information
• in quite fancy words: sufferers have trouble processing language, with visual-spatial relationships, with remembering facts, and with keeping a sequence of steps in order
• in basic terms: sufferers have difficulty learning the meaning of numbers or "number sense"; counting; understanding relationships between numbers; sorting objects; recognising patterns; understanding abstract concepts like time and direction/orientation; rules for games/strategy; comparing and contrasting; remembering and retaining basic maths facts; estimating; seeing links between concepts; applying their maths skills
• crucially, dyscalculics are usually of average or above average IQ and are often fine with written and oral language, but have specific problems with numbers (although there is a actually a significant proportion of dyscalculics who are also dyslexic).

I'm really glad that Canterbury and TF are putting an emphasis on this for us maths teachers; the more we know about these conditions, the better our teaching will be (at least in theory!)

When Babs came to observe me last half-term, she suspected that S in my Y8 group was dyslexic and maybe dyscalculic too. Having read through the symptoms, I'm inclined to agree with her. I've referred him to our SENCo so hopefully he'll be tested soon. In the meantime though, here are some strategies to help both dyscalculic and EAL pupils (for anyone writing their WA3!):

1. Varied learning/teaching styles - if the child doesn’t learn the way you teach, can you teach the way he learns?
2. One-on-one instruction
3. Memory recall games
4. Keywords - focus on understanding of words
5. Link work to real life examples/using tangible objects/simple games
6. Use of technology - pupils often find topics easier when they are delivered through maths software/websites
7. Increase confidence - help students become aware of their strengths and weaknesses
8. Don’t underestimate
9. Use of specialist staff (not just for teaching, but planning etc. also)
10. Build on prior knowledge
11. Opportunities to practice what has already been learnt - consolidation
12. Oral and written work
13. Understanding SEN and EAL needs are different (and different for each child too)
14. Address errors/misconceptions quickly before they become instilled e.g. through marking the first few questions to check for understanding
15. Writing frames and guidance on how to get answers down on paper
16. Model/demonstrate answers so pupils have something to work towards

Good-oh. So, to check your understanding of numbers and ability to estimate here are some numbers from my day. See if you can match the event with the number....

A) The percentage of the day I've spent in bed (I love Sundays)
B) The ratio of green olives stuffed with goat's cheese (delicious) to tictacs that I've eaten today
C) The number of pence I've topped up my Oyster card with (where does the money go?)
D) The number of calories I burnt off on the treadmill
E) The small fraction of lessons I have managed to plan for this week

1) 2/10
2) 50
3) 279
4) 7:9
5) 2000

Answers tomorrow.

And finally, I am loving both Plan B and Broke 'N' £nglish at the moment. These UK lyricists (and also some of the French ones, who I don't understand totally, but enough to get the gist!) are so heavy compared to the rubbish "gangsta" chat that comes outta the States. Gimme something to think about already.

Friday

Friday was really rather good.

In the style of the drama department, here are my WWWs (What Went Wells)

1. It was sunny.
2. All my lessons went well, including great banter with Y7.
3. I taught a solo cornerfootball PE lesson, and it didn't all go belly-up.
4. Twenty-four girls turned up to the indoor lunchtime kickaround...some lovely bonding between Y9 and Y7.
5. I completed all my mid-term reports and marking.
6. Staff kickabout after school was wicked fun.
7. Lucky Strike Night was even more fun including some people actually "striking it lucky" woo hoo! (if you've not been to The Langley, go, it's a lovely little bar with reasonable drinks and a party atmosphere)
8. Having an amazing massage by the people from Urban Chill.
   
9. Managed to catch the last train home despite actually missing it at Holborn (for some reason it was waiting at Leytonstone...I'd like to think it was waiting just for me).
10. I am only slightly hungover today and didn't spend that much money.

Here are my EBIs (Even Better Ifs):

1. I hadn't been poorly tackled by an 11 year old and didn't have a swollen knee.
2. After said tackle, another annoying 11 year old (with gross eczema - but that's an aside) singing "you fell over, you fell over" at the top of her lungs. Thanks.
   
3. I didn't confess to lots of TFers last night that I was accused of perving on the Y11 weightlifting boys by my Y9 girls.
4. I hadn't given the Y9 girls a reason to think I was perving at all (I was just getting the bibs from the boys' gym, honest!)
5. My lungs were smoke-free today (I think I have passively undone all my hard gym work...and maybe a tiny bit actively too....that's the guilt talking).
6. F in Y10 wasn't blanking me (it is weird when a kid is cross with you).

Other good news:

1. I managed to reverse park on to the curb!
2. I got paid.
3. Keble women are cuppers champions!
4. I got an email from Ladun - hi Laddles, how are you? So great to hear things are going well for you....sounds like you're in heaven! And you know I believe in heaven more than in hell.
5. Plans to go to Italy in the break are rolling forward!
6. I managed to put some money into my ISA - saving is a real achievement for me.
   

Other not-so-good news:

1. My parents disrupted my afternoon nap by arguing. How inconsiderate. I wonder if I'll ever move out....
   
2. I have to read about sixty different articles on dyscalculia and EAL needs so that I can make a presentation for our Subject Studies Day on Monday (I think we're being OFSTEDed - great).
3. The bargainous trousers I bought today have a button missing - maybe this is why they were bargainous?
   

And on a final positive note, we got back from the temple (spiritual props to me) about an hour ago, and it was closing early because there's a lunar eclipse or something tonight - how exciting!

Not so good stuff staff

Today we had a maths department meeting. It went on from 3:45pm to 5:00pm. Three out of seven members of the department were absent. There was no agenda and nothing pressing to sort out. However, it seems that even in teaching one needs to put in "face time". And so we did.

We discussed almost precisely nothing to do with maths. Instead, the more senior members of the department began to berate the Principal of the academy (as they are oft prone to do). Today's target was her mention in the morning meeting of how more "middle class children with two parents and an independent school background" were applying to the academy (admissions figures were released today, and we're 21 kids away from having a fully subscribed Y7 in September - a huge change from the past). I don't know if this stuff about the types of kids is true or not, but it certainly put everyone's backs up. Big time. Particularly the comments about two parent families - a number of members of staff are single parents and really took offence at this. Further, the "old staff" are really anti-change, especially anything that tries to move us towards the independent school model (which is essentially what our Principal seems to have in mind). Another "offence" has been added to her list by the staff.

Anyway, much bitching and grumbling and negativity later and nothing had been resolved. Now I'm all for people getting things off their chests (see, I'm doing it now myself) but all they seem to do is moan and moan and moan and never offer anything themselves on how to fix things. Further, they never say anything to her face about how they feel, preferring instead to bitch behind her back. I hate that two-faced kinda stuff - how is she supposed to appease the staff if no-one is telling her what she is doing wrong? It's all about necessary constructive criticism. You've got to give people a chance before slamming them down.

A big problem is that most of the staff aren't open-minded. They were all anti-academy from the start and wouldn't even give things a go. I'm pleased to say I did keep an open mind about the academy and the Principal, choosing to form my own opinion of her rather than listening to all the propaganda. Admittedly now I'm not a big fan of our Principal myself, but I'm willing to give what she says a try because that's what I'm here to do and because it is nowhere near my place to tell her how to run things. However, lots of the other members of staff are in a position to help change things, but they take what I think to be the easy way out. Maybe they have their reasons for how they feel, but still, when it comes down to it, they have their roles and duties and they need to fulfil them. But rather than pulling together and giving things a go, they rebel. Faced with such a hostile team, she's almost guaranteed to fail.

To me this meeting was an entire waste of time and left me feeling pretty negative about the school and its future. As if there aren't enough things to worry about without staffroom politics too.