Some grumbles, but the library's been fun!

This morning we woke up cross due to loud noise from one of my neighbours. Grrr. Noise pollution is very annoying and people are very selfish to play video games or watch TV oh so loudly till 2am on a Sunday night. This hasn't happened before at my place, although it happened at lot at X's and also when we were house-sitting. A disrupted night's sleep ruins the day.

Luckily X was able to have today off, and so we had a bit of a lie-in and then did some work. X has a lot of work to do for some interviews shortly, and I have my various research proposals/essays/exams to work on. It was nice to be back in the library. Sounds funny to say that but there's something cool about the start of term when work is still exciting and you feel productive.

Two estate agents have let us down so far in our search for an Oxford nest. I can see why people get cross with them. It's just inconsiderate not to turn up when you have arranged a viewing with someone. At least call to cancel.

Spurs lost against Wigan. They held out for 90 minutes and then conceded, although I guess we were weakened once Dawson had gone off injured, and Gomes hurt his leg. Sigh, back to the relegation zone it is. Defoe probably could've wanted a better debut.

I'm having an early night tonight, hurrah!

Stupid phone companies and people

I am in a rage! Grrrrrrr!

I am currently on hold to Three Customer Services, having already been on the phone for ages to stupid Dial-a-phone Customer Services to cancel a contract that I didn't even order! Well, they sold it to me as an upgrade, except apparently it's not possible for them to do upgrades, so now I have two phones and two SIM cards and two numbers and two direct debits and loads of stupid bureaucracy to go through to undo it all...and all because the stupid cheating salesman told me one thing when he quite patently knew he was wrong and was lying and just did it anyway, what a knob!

So now it has cost me premium rate to get through to their Customer Services, and then I have to send the phone back at Special Delivery Rates, and then I have to pay some random connection charge bill, and then I have to cancel the phone insurance I didn't even want but had to take, and then I end up where I started before I had even tried to upgrade i.e. on hold except considerably more pissed off and out of pocket. It's all a con, I swear it. Plus they spelled my name wrong, idiots. And they charged me £23 for a bluetooth that I don't even have so now how can I return it to get my money back?

This is the highlight of a pretty mediocre day. The weather is gloomy and so it makes sense for all this hassle. I am also pissed off because I had a knee appointment today, where the Consultant I was referred to told me I shouldn't have been referred to him because he can't do the procedure I need, and so he is referring me back to where I was originally referred from 5 months ago, how stupid is that?!

Really I think I am fed up with all the ridiculous systems we have and why can't people just do their damn jobs and be a bit honest and stop passing the buck rather than trying to screw over the average person on the street?

Hmmmm. I am a bit jaded I think. That is probably what comes from doing someone else's work while they take super long tea breaks and chat on the phone. It is also what happens when loads of scummy people swear and argue on the bus and when the company you are working for doesn't send you a timesheet so you have been working for free and again noone will just do the simple part of their job so you can get on and do yours.

On a positive note, I did see a shade on a car with a smiley cat face on it that made me laugh. So maybe all is not doom and gloom after all.

SHOUTING!

I was a shouty teacher today. It was great! I usually can't shout, and really by the time it got to lesson four I was quite drained by it all, but on the plus side behaviour was soooo good and I actually got to teach stuff almost all the way through my Y10 lesson - unheard of! Also PSHE with my tutor group was lots of learning, I like it. I could almost get used to it, although clearly I can't be a super shouty person all the time. That said, the more experienced teachers say that if you can get it down at the start, then the kids know where the line is and so will behave accordingly. Plus if you over-use your shouting it becomes ineffective; the kids learn to drown you out. But today, being super strict and nipping things in the bud, along with a few readings of the riot act, really worked a treat.

I have set my first homework of the term. Tomorrow I will set five more classes their homework. Which means next week I will be marking marking marking again, grrr, I hate marking. We have a super long staff meeting + twilight INSET on Tuesday, which will be knackering, and I have a meeting with the corporates on Thursday, so essentially I should go to bed now to catch up on the sleep I will lose. Clearly that won't work though, this weekend is also pretty hectic and I'll have to work Sunday. Boo. Oh well, it was nice to not be sleep deprived for a while.

No comment on Arsenal - Spurs last night, except that at least we didn't lose.

And finally, J from my tutor group has been away at Disneyland over Christmas and today was his first day back in school. He bought me this, bless...

This Rant Could Be Bigger

My knee is buggered again. I am cross. But also glad in that it's not as bad as it could be. I think I may have partially dislocated it, but luckily fell quick enough for it to pop back in. I felt my thigh and leg bones move away from each other and click. Gross. Now my knee is a big puffy ball and I can't really bend it or carry weight on it.

My HoD was complaining about tennis players and their excuses. He was saying that if you're not fit enough to play then you shouldn't play, rather than losing your match and making lame excuses afterwards. Extending the theory and applying it to teaching, does this mean I should try and postpone my final assessment on Monday? I won't be able to walk around and I'm on a rather weird combination of prescription medication which makes me feel a bit strange, both of which are delightful ready-made excuses in case I don't get the grade I would be expected to get. But would the honourable thing be to simply reschedule the assessment rather than putting in a mediocre performance now?

My professional tutor was in on Friday and my subject mentor asked her to come and talk to me about my "problems". Humph. My professional tutor is one of the least subtle and discreet people I have ever met. For example, in an attempt to get me to confide in her, she proceeded to disclose another girl's confidential information. In the past she has revealed and openly discussed the situations other TFs were in without seeming to care about privacy. How unprofessional! Anyway, I remained button-lipped, she is never going to be a help.

And finally, we got the draft version of next year's timetable on Friday. It is awful. I will save that rant for later. Oh yeah, one good thing from the buggered knee - at least I will have to stay in all weekend and be responsible and make my portfolio. Every cloud eh?

Name dropping

But first...

Today S in Y8 was very annoying in my computer room lesson. And yes, not just because he shares many similarities with a cabbage patch doll.

He can basically get on with the work, but only if you're sitting right on top of him all the time. I think he needs an LSA. Do we have one for him? Err, no. So anyway, I speak to him at the end of the lesson and he seems apologetic. I dismiss him. He walks out and shuts the door. As I am having a word with the next of my naughty ones, he bursts open the door, sticks his rear end in the room, and proceeds to make loud and disgusting farting noises at me. Wow. Shocker.

Real shame though, since my kids learn really well on the computers. I like taking them there, but the naughty ones mean I am reluctant to do it as much as I should. Behaviour definitely gets worse - a combination of excitement and change from routine I suppose. Although I tend to take them Thursday lesson 4, when they are already a bit more hyper than usual.

I like doing the ICT stuff because learning on the computer provides instant feedback and they can all work at their own pace. Plus, all the games and things make them learn without the rigmarole of book work. We use mymaths a lot of the time, and today we did some work on place value and ordering decimals. I still get shocked at their low ability - most of that group is a high level 3/low level 4 (the kinda levels most year 6 students should be getting - except my lot with be in year 9 in Sept). Still, will be taking my Y7s there tomorrow too, so will see how that goes. Can you tell it's almost the end of term? Time for computer sessions and investigations....

In other news, found out our school is one of the lowest paying TF schools. Last year we were on the lowest point on the unqualified teacher pay scale and now we are moving on the lowest point of the NQT scale. Our Academy is tight with money. Grumble. We are contemplating asking for more money, although I'm pretty sure we'll be told where to stick it.

And now for the name dropping...my cousin's band were played on Zane Lowe's show this evening. They're called Battle and their new single The Longest Time is out now. Check their myspace out here. And this story made me laugh too.

Y6 induction day; even newer teachers than me!

Life is still tough. My HoD has once again suggested to me that I take some time off. Humph. I think my generally surly demeanour is warranting attention. I really need to find my smile again. I'm sure it's in my pile of teaching paraphernalia somewhere.

Portfolio still doesn't exist, crumbs! On the plus side, my Y7 and my Y8 books are now marked up to scratch, only 2 hours of work! Also have evaluated my submitting units of work, caught up on the journal, and written up all my observed lesson evaluations. Gosh, look at all that paperwork - is that what we got into this for? Well, rather the paperwork than the politics (I think two more people have been asked to leave/have resigned in the last week, it's awful).

Y6 induction day today. Some lovely and very bright ones; also some rather boisterous and potentially very challenging ones. Heard a rumour that one turned up in a jumpsuit and hoodie with matching diamante earring. Said boy had a freak out during an English lesson - told his English teacher to "f*ck off", hurled a chair across the room and then stormed out. Nice. I look forward to it. Maybe I'm lucky not to have a tutor group after all.

Last CFG (Critical Friends Group) was tonight. Met most of the '07s from our area. Can't believe how young and innocent they all are. Actually, more like I can't believe how old and wise I sound. They're all desperate to hear advice on teaching, which is understandable - you hear so many scare stories that you cling to anything that might help. Tried to reassure them, and also secretly felt quite proud at how far we've all come. One of the other '06s in my school has just become second in department in science - props to her indeed :) In truth though, as much as other people's tips can help, it's not until you're in your school with your own classes that you can really start to develop as a teacher.

In other news, thought I'd give you a health update. Hair still not being washed with product; it's thicker and wilder than ever. Needs a trim actually. Have definitely gone down a trouser-size and there's some serious flattening of the stomach. Have a shocking sore throat - if I could lop my tonsils out with a spoon I think I would. In preparation for some serious weekend hangover - got some big birthday lashes lined up. Oh and maybe a bit of work for the old final assessment!

And finally, a shout out to Mr Read and his blog - thanks for the name drop and keep up the good work, very entertaining reading! And for the reminder that there's time for fun in all of this madness!

SSE Day 4

Mulberry teaches maths in a very hand-ons/investigative type way. Lots of open activities, often involving some kinda colouring in/cutting out/pretty poster making. Not just scissors and glue though - the girls present the work they have done to the class and talk it through, tough stuff for some kids (especially those with EAL) so am impressed by that. And, importantly, all this investigative work leads to lots of lovely posters with which one can decorate the classroom. Kinda made me wish I had a fixed classroom next year so that I could set it up in group-work tables and have pretty displays too.

I watched the Y11 NRA day today (their final Y11 assembly and prize day). It was so beautiful, very emotional, even for me, a complete outsider. The head of Y11 is this super energetic middle-aged African woman, positively bouncing with barmy-ness, amazing! She wore a sari and the bit over her shoulder fell off during her speech and she just laughed it off. Also, upon opening her expensive-looking large ornamental bowl present, she immediately balanced it on her head and remarked "this is how we do it back home". Hahaha. The girls were really well behaved and all looked stunning in their traditional dress. A wonderful speech too from the head prefect. Yet more impressive stuff.

On the other end of the spectrum, I observed period 6 history with 9U. Made me very thankful that we only have one lesson after lunch. Period 6 seems to be a write-off. And these girls were actually pretty awful, well, by Mulberry standards anyway. Very rude and kept talking over the teacher and not doing the work and generally wasting their time. I could feel the rage bubbling in me and was very close to lecturing them all (despite their two other actual teachers being in the room...how could they let the girls behave like that?!). To calm myself I ran through bits of the lecture in my head (basically focusing on the fact that these girls are really privileged and lucky to have the educational opportunities they had, and that if they chose to waste them, well, they would have no-one else to blame when their poor kids ended up in a scummy school like mine). I then walked out.

Only one more day of this SSE, but don't worry, am already lining up a couple of days at my old primary school, yippee! Am helpfully in denial about the whole portfolio and all the tonnes of things I need to sort out to put in it. Also completely ignoring the dread I've got for school next week. Good times.

Second School Experience - Day 1

Today I woke up 2 minutes before my alarm with a smile on my face. A strange sensation indeed. And then I remembered I didn't have to go to school, yippee!

Obviously it poured all day and I wasn't wearing enough layers and I had to walk lots and wait for public transport and all the usual things that slightly annoy me, but doesn't matter, crucially, I didn't have to go to school today. Yippee once again!

So Mulberry School for Girls in Whitechapel. Very different to the old academy. For starters, there's only one white kid in the whole school, how crazy is that! It's 97% Bangladeshi Muslim - so much so that the girls can wear an actual hijab variant of the school uniform (I say variant, but really this is the dominant choice of uniform). It's a big school - almost 1500 kids, with 400 in the VIth form. When ours opens in September I think we'll only have 60 or so. The buildings, resources, staff, kids etc. are all lovely - the school went under some kinda refurbishment maybe 3/4 years ago and also got involved in a PFI partnership with Parkwood Leisure so at 6pm every night the school shuts and becomes a leisure centre! This explains the awesome sports facilities - they have everything apart from playing fields and a pool, including a tumble track, dance studio, astroturf pitches and a climbing wall! There's IWBs in the maths rooms, which are big and spacious. Most different of all was the fact that they trusted the kids to be unsupervised in rooms/corridors etc. during the day and also left rooms unlocked. I mean, they actually leave the maths store room unlocked as a matter of course. As I learnt the hard way, don't do this at my school. If it's not nailed down, they'll have it.

The most interesting thing I did today was take part in the Ocean Maths workshop. This is a pioneering Tower Hamlets workshop, borne from the Ocean Estate in E1, and aiming to increase parental involvement in their kid's maths learning. So workshop leaders come in with interpreters etc. and work on activities with the kids and their parents together to encourage them both to be more confident and work together more. It really was lovely to see, despite the scary lady in charge of it (well, obviously I charmed her in the end, but at the start of the session I was standing by a desk and she asked me to move, and I said where, and she said anywhere just move, all because a trolley was coming through - duh, am I blind or something? Clearly I would have moved out of the way all by myself, why the hostile tone?)

After school I had a training session on paper folding, which was fantastic! Called "how to be a paper mathemagician" it really did what it said on the tin! Now have lots of ideas on how to teach Shape, Space and Measure using paper folding activities including making a tetrahedron out of an envelope, shape tesselations from folding A4 paper, and making a pull-up cube (it looks magical!)

In conclusion, I think I have realised that my school really is awful (this thought is increasingly justified every time I visit another school) but it's nice to have a week break and get my enthusiasm for this job back. Given that we have quite a few TF quitters, who are leaving after the first year, well, I don't wanna be one of those people, so this week should do me good.

In other news, my little bro's latest goldfish, Mao, is on his last (metaphorical) legs. He is on his side and not looking good. Looking at him makes me cringe, but I can't help but stare. *shudder*. Would fish euthanasia be a no-no?

Thursday

I think today was a bit of turning point. I do have some ranting to do, but I guess it's not strictly ranting since I'm not complaining, more simply stating the facts.

Can't remember if I already said, but my brand new birthday present car turned three years old a coupla weeks ago, and so had to be MOT-ed. And, predictably, it failed. The most annoying reason is that there is no alloy wheel locking kit in the car since the sodding thieves nicked that as well. This means that all the wheel nuts have to replaced, pricey. I think this pushes the grand cost of putting my car in the care of another maths teacher to over £600. Needless to say I won't be doing that again. Apparently the front right tyre also had a deep cut in it, there was some kinda leaky gasket, and something else wrong with it too. Excellent.

I had a double observation (two people in observing) with my Y8s before lunch today. We went to the computer room, and it was mostly going fine, except little D was being a bit of psycho. I knew he was in a hyper mood even as he stepped into the room, but I think the excitement of computers + a room change + having visitors was just too much for him to cope with, and so his behaviour went right out the window. I finally had to kick him out the lesson when he started jumping from the chair onto the desk. Made the mistake of letting him back into the room, where he proceeded to wind up the pupils next to him, then run around the room, then sit at my desk and start writing over the flipchart that I had prepared and was currently being projected to the class. I took him to the LSU straight after the lesson to get them to talk to him and try and figure out what went wrong. A turning point for me really, since whereas before this type of thing would have made me pretty stressed and wired, today I didn't really care. Sure it wasn't a good observation, but what can I do really? Either I am feeling apathy, or I am actually so stressed I don't notice stress any more (this could be true - last night I woke up in a panic at 4am convinced it was time to go to school and so desperately thinking of excuses to get out of it - good stuff).

Anyway, on a good note, my interview at MyBnk went really well. The lady in charge there was really inspiring and we got on really well. The project seems to have a lot of independence for the intern, and it's something that I believe in and think I could actually make a valuable contribution to, so fingers crossed on that front. Also, went and had a drink with the Mulberry TFTs after my interview - they'd had their final assessment today and it all went super for them, so am very pleased. I'm doing my Second School placement at Mulberry in two weeks time, which should be really interesting (all girls, predominantly Muslim, state school with a VIth form - very different to us!)

On a final note, am very much looking forward to the weekend, and as such, I will leave you with this delightful rant from Puja:

Hi girls,

i thought i would email you both and have a rant because the computer system at work has been f**king up since Monday and i have not been able to do any work and it is tres tres annoying. and outlook keeps messing up so i have clients calling up wondering why all of their emails are bouncing back and not coming through. i may scream. but i wont.

also the person i sit next to is somewhat annoying. he constantly (and i mean alllllll the f**king time) slurps/chews/bites away at his nails and hands and its pretty disgusting to be honest. and extremely distracting. but i dont know how nicely to tell him to shut the f**k up.

anyhoo rant over (and i mite add that the slurping is continuing while i write this email) and excitement about Fri!! its going to be lots of fun me thinks. dinner wise - do u want to eat at mine? i though that we could just order a pizza in which would save us having to move and go out and get food. what do u think?

Hwc is stressing about work a lot so we will have to try and cheer her up! she is def coming but will not be at mine till later - prob about 9ish. but she did say that she will prob stay over so we have the whole nite to play 304 and drink! whoohoo!

righty ho - im going to go and have a wander around the office to get away from the disgustingness that is the person sat next to me.

See u 2mrw dudettes!

Love Puja xx

PS - slurp slurp (one of the ppl i work with described it as 're-juicing'. isnt that the most grossest word ever? i think it mite even be worse than 'moist').

More complaining about my job

Last night I realised it's been about 3 months since I officially started hating my job. The drain of work is still nice and strong, sigh. Despite only being properly back for one day, and not even having to teach my own classes today (just team teach), it was still pretty hard to bear. Signs that I am slowly giving up the fight include a Y10 waving her phone in my face to deliberately wind me up, and me just ignoring her; a Y7 boy kissing his teeth at me, and me just ignoring him; the usual complaining and bitching in school, and me joining in; and, best of all for last, me fantasising about deliberately sabotaging my application for Qualified Teacher Status (QTS) so that I can get out of my contract. What on earth has happened?

Assuming I just plod through these next 6 weeks to the summer, then come September I think I will be teaching 5 classes of maths, 18 periods a week. This isn't too bad I guess, but I don't really like teaching maths and now this is just more of it. Boooo. I am entirely jealous of the '05s - being the final straight is just so distant.

I don't think it helped that I read an article published by the Mathematical Association about problems recruiting and retaining maths teachers. In his 2004 report, Making Mathematics Count, Professor Adrian Smith estimated that the current shortfall in mathematics teachers is around 3500; that over 30% of those teaching maths had no post A-level qualification in the subject; that the turnover rate doubled between 1991 and 2001; and that a higher proportion of mathematics teachers are reaching retirement age in comparison with teachers of other subjects. Worrying signs for maths education.

Based on this report, researchers from the Institute of Education wondered if there was something specific in maths teaching that was causing the problem. So, between 2004 and 2005 they carried out interviews with a range current and former maths teachers (old teachers, young teachers, from all regions, holding all kinds of positions of responsibility, with varying degrees of teaching experience, and from a variety of backgrounds) to determine reasons for joining and staying in/leaving the profession.

Some key stats from the report include: that 50% of current Heads of Departments do not intend to continue in the role, and 33% intend to seek promotion outside of the department. Of the former maths teachers, 67% are now employed entirely outside of education. One-tenth of the sample of current teachers, and one-fifth of the sample of former teachers reported detrimental effects on their health caused by their jobs, in the forms of stress, anxiety or both.

Main reasons for joining the maths teaching profession: good at maths, had a maths degree, enthusiasm for or interest in maths, practical reasons (e.g. changing from PE teaching when older, availability of maths teaching posts, teaching following redundancy, dislike of current occupation, financial incentives to train), interaction with young people, being a role model, teachers in the family, stability/security/prospects.

Main reasons for leaving: excessive workload, inadequate facilities, lack of collegial support, admin tasks associated with teaching, conflicting responsibilities/overburdened with responsibilities, changes to the curriculum, negative attitudes toward the subject, high-stakes testing, pressure, whole-school issues such as SLT style and pupil behaviour.

The most common reason for staying in maths teaching concerned the enjoyment obtained from work. The second most common reason for staying concerned difficulties with changing careers. Aaaaaaaaargh, this does not bode well.

In other news, yesterday we had our last subject studies day, which is a pretty big hurdle. Next year we will have to teach 6 more days since we will have no subject studies days. We will also have to do cover. Grrr. Anyway, we went on a maths trail in the morning in Westminster - 3.5 hours of unsupervised time, excellent. The trail was reviewed, some new ideas for the four sections (roman numerals, shapes, numbers, calculations) were jotted down, and then the pub was swiftly found. A nice pint by the riverside in the middle of London on a sunny day - beautiful. After that we returned to our Tower Hamlets training venue and discussed WA4 (high expectations...hmmm), the return to Canterbury, resources and sessions for the '07s, and things we wished we had known at the start. Then a lady from NCETM (National Centre for Excellence in the Teaching of Mathematics) turned up to chat to us about it and why we should join. This was a bit pointless - our tutor had already raved a fair bit about it, so why do more? Those who wanted to join, have by now, so no need to keep on at it. At one point the lady said something about "wearing two hats", which is our tutor's tag-line. This made me laugh out loud, I had to break into a fake cough to disguise it.

Well, that is enough rambling for now. I hope your jobs are more enjoyable :)

The last 24 hours

It turns out that next door were filming an advert for Asian TV yesterday. This was quite exciting at 8pm, but far less exciting at 11pm, when the little boy drummers for the advert were still banging their drums. It became rather annoying when they began taking down the sets at 1am. But I got really cross at 4am when they decided to have loud conversations on the phone, outside. Grrr. Also, apparently on Sunday morning they had had a huge row with the people who live on the other side, which woke everyone up too. Naughty neighbours. I was very close to opening my window and shouting out "this isn't a council estate, please be quiet", but then realised that was probably inappropriate, so instead tossed and turned in bed. Consequently, was rather late into our training day this morning, whoops.

Good thing really, managed to miss some of the warm-up introductory speeches, but caught the rest of the day. Was quite good, they had another educational consultant in, this time to talk about "stimulating teaching, exciting learning, and assessment for learning". He was a good speaker, kinda like a stand-up comedian, lots of funny anecdotes and chatter, which warmed up the crowd. Plus, rather than trying to get us to brainstorm and group discuss and all those other standard INSET activities, he just cut out all the nonsense and told us his ideas straight up. Despite the vacant look I carried for most of the day, I appreciated this.

He suggested lots of things for stimulating teaching:

• classroom management - starting as you mean to go on, seating and displays, ground rules, roles in group work, processes to get activities started
• group work - managed through roles and clearly structured tasks
• visual mind maps with interactive links
• sharing learning objectives
• confidence through understanding key vocab
• matching card games
• blockbusters - using software based on the game show
• snowball - this is a great idea - basically start the class off by asking them to think of one of something e.g. one factor of 120, then get them into pairs and challenge each pair to find 4 factors of 120 i.e. double what they already have. After this, the pairs get into fours and they have to come up with 8 factors between them. I like this very much, will try it as a starter soon
• true or false using show-me boards
• question time - pick a group as the experts, give them ten mins to prepare their knowledge, then the rest of the class challenge them with questions
• pass the question - in pairs pupils write the question on the top half of a piece of paper and the model answer on the bottom half, rip up the top halves and pass them around the pairs, who then have to figure out the model answers
• reviews - support groups, revealing answers on IWB, matching dominoes, assessment review e.g through ActiVote (we have these sets in the maths department, I really wanna learn to use them, they seem ace), celebration review e.g. through issue of merit stickers, learning logs with specific targets for each pupil breaking down learning objectives into little tasks so that progress can be easily monitored

He did similar things for learning, emphasising that students are more excited about learning when they feel confident and clear about the work. He suggested using open ended activities that have a degree of creative control but that require understanding rather than just a search for the "right answer". He also encouraged the use of stimuli e.g. videos, sound clips, pictures, writing frames etc. to support work. He said that good writing requires purpose, product and audience. He was very anti-SATS and OFSTED, which surprised me, but which appealed to our staff I think.

Finally, with regards to assessment, I particularly paid attention to his talk on feedback and feedforward. He said that targets and assessment criteria should be shared with the class and put into more friendly language so that students are clear on what they need to achieve (without dumbing the language down too much - students need to be able to speak the language of assessment). He said that we shouldn't mark too much work, but that we should give clear written feedback on the work we do mark, and also give feedforward i.e. targets that pupils should work towards in their next piece of work so that they have something explicit they can do to improve.

So yes, we learnt quite a lot today on our last INSET day of the year. However, bad news too - next year five of our nine INSET days will be spent moving into the new Academy, which doesn't inspire me too much. Further we are expecting HMI next term PLUS a ULT inspection. Rubbish. I better make the most of this half of the term, before things go all crazy again.

In other news, tomorrow I have my last subject studies day, in which I think we are doing some kinda maths trail in London, exciting stuff. Also, I have an interview at MyBnk on Weds after school for a summer internship - I really wanna work there, it's a great idea, very inspiring! Will let you know how that goes.

And if you have time, check this out. Hahaha, pirate chatter, shiver me timbers.

Drama-Central

This is where I've been living the past week. Now, apologies for not posting sooner, and also apologies for this post since it won't contain much detail. Essentially I have had a very stressful week. Key events include:

1. TF Coach matching event and associated hangover on Tuesday night
2. Having all the things nicked outta the boot of my car and glove compartment sometime on Tuesday night/Weds morning (including my teaching stuff, my wallet, house keys, school keys, expensive sunglasses, USB stick with personal files on it, and all my PE stuff - special gym trainers are gone, boo hoo)
3. Being very cross with the colleague I left my car with, who I suspect either forgot to lock the car (how could someone do that in Walthamstow?!) or nicked the things herself. Negative thoughts, I know, but I am still cross.
4. Spending hours in 3 different police stations over two days.
5. Having a semi-black eye and looking old and haggard and rough.
6. Walking outta school on Weds and then being royally bollocked by my folks. Deservedly.
7. Having OFSTED in on Thursday, having lost my lesson plans for the day, made new lesson plans, finding that the server has crashed so all plans for ICT lessons were defunct, making a third set of lesson plans, and otherwise having a very intensive day.
8. HSBC maths day today, again running activities, which was a bit stressful, but really today has been the best day all week.
9. No petrol in car and no money to buy petrol so adding hours to my journey time whereever I've been going. Not that I've been going anywhere exciting since I have no keys to get back into our house.
10. Minimum sleep and food and general smileyness over the past few days.

Actually, that is more detail than I intended, but clearly you can't wait to hear the full story. Have to pack for my flight to Toronto tomorrow, but will update as soon as poss. Woo half-term, the light at the end of the tunnel!

Barriers to actually working

Grrrrr. Trying to get anything at all done at school today was near impossible. The sodding server was still down so you couldn't print anything or save to the server. Emails were really temperamental, as was internet access. One of the photocopiers was broken. There was exams in the maths block, which disrupted lessons. The online registration system and the reporting system were both still playing up. Nothing was working, and so it was near impossible for the teachers to be working. Plus, it was raining.

See how dependent on technology we are? But really, it's so annoying when you're trying to do the most straightforward task, but everything just holds you back. Grrr. Another source of workplace stress.

In other news, I was sent on an errand by two of the members of my department last Friday, to buy chocolates for the Y11s. This errand cost me precisely £32.80. Now, I don't want to seem tight, but I'm not a Y11 tutor and had no real desire to spend what is essentially a week's worth of teaching Y8 on a sugar-fest for some right clowns. The question is, how do I get my money back now? I hate owing people money, but even worse, I hate being owed money. But I don't wanna be hassling them for the cash, but then again, if I leave it too long, it'll be too hard to ask for it back. Ho-hum, what an exciting dilemma. Not.

Oooh and a quick update on my wild mane of hair. I think it's almost 3 months since I last washed it with shampoo, and it feels pretty good. Washing with just water seems to work, even with horrid smokey hair or sweaty gym hair. It has a kinda natural oil feel to it, which isn't too bad, plus I swear it's stronger and thicker. So yes, going strong on that front.

Nothing else of note to say except that I have so much paperwork to generate for my "portfolio" for OFSTED that I'm just not gonna do any of it. Mwahahaahaha.

Funny Ginger + ranting

I am not well and about to go to bed. But before that, some ranting.

Forgot to mention last time that when that little boy lost the plot and started shouting at me, he did it in front of another teacher, who at the time tactfully didn't get involved, but then later told the rest of the maths department about what had happened. This explains why my Head of Department tried to have a serious chat with me (think I avoided that one) and why my subject mentor asked me, completely out of the blue, who I would get rid of from my Y8 group if I could get rid of anyone. Obviously the fact that the kids think of me as weak is one thing, but it's lovely to know that the rest of my department thinks I am a bit rubbish too.

Hmmm, so maybe this is why I don't feel well, my body is wimping out of having to face more of the music tomorrow.

Berts, really, now I don't remember the conversation at all. I'm glad I was nice, but my memory is clearly shot to pieces - maybe it is taking the assault intended for my liver?

Anyway, in funnier news, I am stealing this from Ginger's drunken FB note cos it's just that funny!

Ahhhh everyone loves a good school anecdote. Well, not when I'm drunk and ranting about them, but none-the-less, let's get some of them down for posterity.


Year 9 girl: "Miss, am I a sperm?"
Me: "Errrrr.....no".
Girl: "But, miss, Racquel said I was".

Hmmm.

Same girl: "Miss, where are you from?"
Me: "Birmingham".
Girl: "Oh, is that why you're so posh, then?"

If only she knew.

My favourite anecdote - everyone has probably heard it by now:
Year 11 science. Thursday afternoon. Have alreday been called a ginger bitch. Not feeling great about the lesson. Go to demo group 1 metals in water. Slightly over-enthuse with the sodium. Massive explosion; smoke fills the room, a loud bang is heard and sparks rain down on us all. A piece of paper is set on file. Many girls now screaming and hiding under tables saying that I'm trying to kill them. One student shows me her t-shirt; it is covered in little singe marks from the sparks. Thankfully, she thinks this is "cool".

Once girls have dismissed, have a little cry in the deputy head's office.

Oh holy Jesus.

Obviously, some children have no sense of what is acceptable:
"Miss, how is your sex life going?"
"Miss are you on your period, because you're in a really bad mood tooday".

Me being inappropriate when yr13 girl answers phone in the lesson:
(pointing at phone) "Oi, Debbie, can we have it off please?!"
My subsequent giggling kind of undermined the telling off.

Bizarreness:
(in the middle of a lesson when I am dissecting a pig's heart):
"Urgh miss it looks like a pussy."

Observing at a mixed school, also in Hackney:
yr 7 boy: "Oh miss, you're giving me a boner".

A lovely Turkish yr 9 girl is using her Turkish-English dictionary to help with her work - she is trying to describe an experiemnt where we looked at kitchen roll soaking up water and she is trying to describe this:
"The flaccid tissue will take up more water."
Poor girl had mis-translated "soft". Once I had figured this out I explained that flaccid was probably not the best word to use. Bless her. Struggled to keep a straight face.

Mind your f-ing language

Just watched an excellent Cutting Edge titled "Mind your f-ing language". Read the program synopsis here.

Basically it was about a school and it's swearing problems and the approaches it took to solving them. There was no real swearing policy and kids argued that swearing was a way for them to express their feelings. Hidden cameras showed the full extent of their foul language, some of which even made me blush. However, when privately surveyed, many pupils said they would be happier in an environment were swearing was more of a rarity rather than standard noise pollution. Poignantly, one child pointed out that perhaps poverty and injustice were bigger problems in the world than the odd c-word here and there. After consulting specialists and visiting other schools, the focus school implemented a one-week zero-tolerance no swearing policy, the results of which were mixed, but which ultimately led to the introduction of the school's first swearing policy.

The whole program was engaging and well made (clearly I don't get enough swearing at school so I need to watch it in my free time!) and got me thinking about swearing at our Academy. It's pretty low-level in classrooms but the corridors and playgrounds are peppered with colourful expletives. The perpetrators are hardly ever picked up on their language - I'm just as guilty as the rest when it comes to turning a blind eye at the swearing of random children. However, I'm sure it'd be a much nicer and friendlier place if the kids just thought about what they said a bit more carefully. Though that would imply a certain level of maturity not even common in university graduates!

Today was unusual in that there was swearing in both my Y8 and Y11 classes. I think the Y8 one was accidental - we were looking at pictures of cars as part of the car hire investigation and one child said one of the cars was "sh*t", but then clamped her mouth over her hand and apologised profusely. She got a formal warning for that. In the Y11 lesson one girl called a boy a "div" and then when I asked her to leave the room, she started complaining that it was all so "f*cking unfair". She got a full incident sheet for that one.

Anyway, a point was made in the programme that if children swear in the classroom it shows a lack of respect for their learning environment, classmates and teachers. I think I agree with this - I mean, I don't swear at them, no matter how much I want to! In fact my Y11s mock me for saying "whoopsie daisy" when I drop something, and my Y7s know they can't even say "crap" in front of me. But still, from tomorrow I think I will up my position on this.

Finally, this week is the last for Y11s before study leave. You'll be pleased to know that three of my kids forgot to bring their practice papers, thus completely missing the point of today's lessons. Worse, two of them proceeded to have a spirited conversation about farts and how best to release them in a formal setting. I was not pleased but frankly have given up trying to make them understand that perhaps GCSEs are a bit more important than they seem to think. I'd hate for them to learn their lessons the hard way, but I fear they may have to.

More ranting

I have my SLT observation tomorrow morning and a twilight to catch up on the Leadership Discovery Day that I missed tomorrow afternoon. I have Year 7 maths papers to mark and a Year 8 group to entertain in a computer suite. I'm not sure how the day could be any better.

Oh wait, something funny. There were two completely different papers to be answered in the Year 7 end of year test. The papers were sat on two consecutive days in formal exam settings. And yet, one of my kids somehow managed to do the same paper twice. How did she not notice she was doing exactly the same test all over again? At least she got a better mark the second time round.

I'm also glad I'm not Adam from the Apprentice. Shame he was fired tonight, I kinda wanted him to win, just cos he wound everyone up so much.

Nothing else useful to say except that if one more kid calls me "Miss Paramashawasha" I will be forced to plead temporary insanity when my subsequent actions are questioned.

Ooooh just read this little nugget....hahaha if it's good enough for Tony Blair's son eh?

I hate my Y8s!

Yes, beware, this whole post is probably going to turn into a massive long rant.

I think I actually hate my Y8s. Today period 4 they were just out of control. I worry about my ability to teach - how can they get so crazy and how do I stop them?

Actually, I should just qualify these statements - they aren't all mad and I don't hate them all. In fact, there are a good six or seven in there that are perfect angels. Another four or five are manageable. But then there are some that I just cannot deal with - they drive me bonkers. To the extent today, in fact, that I missed half of period 5 because I was still so cross.

We were doing some work today based on CensusAtSchool, which I thought they'd find really fun, but the monster ones just kept complaining all the time about it and shouting and standing on their chairs and generally giving loads of attitude and not working. In retrospect I shoulda just got the Head of Department in to bollock them, but he was really stressed today too (everyone is at the moment, there's too much to do) so I tried to deal with it, but pretty unsuccessfully. One of them is still showing no remorse at all, and just doesn't seem to care at all. One of them isn't taking to me cos I called her Mum, but I don't really care about that. The rest, well, I am not looking forward to seeing them next week - they ruin my day.

I think the worst thing about it is that I thought I'd planned something really fun, and some kids were really getting into it, but then they all had to be stopped because of the behaviour of some kids. I think it might have just been too hard for them - they didn't understand how to measure themselves, or the angles between their fingers, or how they felt about politicians etc. Also, the seating plan was completely wrong - all the troublesome ones were sitting together to cause trouble.

No, actually, the worst thing was when I kept some of them in at lunchtime and I gave D, one of the naughty ones, who is already on red (head of year) report, a "two" on his report (he needs a "three" to stay out of trouble). D asks me why and I say it's because he's been shouting "shut up" all lesson. He explains that he was trying to help me control the class, and that in future he won't bother and leave them to mess about instead. It's sad but they listened to him more than to me.

Period 4 on Thursday with 8Y3 is my worst lesson of the week, almost every week. Unfortunately this is when OFSTED are coming to see me. Great. I think I need a plan.

It's so bad though - I am dreading having to keep them on next year when they become year 9 and are thus even worse.

Ok good, I have got my ranting out of the way...hopefully when I write their reports later tonight, I won't be too cross. Or maybe I will be...little monsters.

How the other half learns

"Little Angel" J in Y7 was true to her word and didn't turn up to school today, excellent, thus giving me back an hour of my life. Apparently her mother is punishing her poor behaviour by keeping her at home - kinda like an exclusion set by the parents. She seems to think this punishment will help her behave better, but I'm not convinced. Clearly she will just save all her wildness and bring it all back to school with her.

So anyway, I had an hour back, and I could have used it profitably e.g. by marking my Y7 tests, by entering my Y8 reports into the system, by planning lessons, by sorting out my teaching file. What did I chose to do? Drink tea. Yay!

Rant alert! Not looking forward to trekking it to Canterbury tomorrow, grumble grumble grumble. They don't want us to be late, so they decide to hold the session 3 hours away from my house, boooo!

On a more positive note, teachers make sure you watch How the other half learns on Channel 5, 8:00pm this Weds - looks very interesting and will no doubt inspire you to run away to a nice private school! I'm not sure if Preston Manor is a TF school but it sounds very similar to one, so anyone who seems to think I make up stories about madness at my school should watch the program and see that I'm telling the truth!

Also check out this article on Teacher Blogs...hahahaha! Wonder how long it'll be before my school gets a blogging policy?

Venice - Part I, Castelfranco

I have submitted my WA3, woo hoo!

I am now meant to be creating my unit of work on Multicultural Maths. However, I can't be bothered to do that yet. Please understand, I really am very excited about this unit of work, but what with the bloody foxes screeching all night, the crazy man next door holding long distance phone calls at 1am in his back garden (annoyingly close to my bedroom window), and the builders starting their relentless drilling (and singing!) at 8am, well, I am pretty tired today. Except when it comes to using bold in my writing.

Ok, ranting over. Before I bring you part I of the Venice trip, some points of note. In list form for Bertie.

1. Jade, p244 of Captain Corelli's Mandolin: "I am the breve, Carlo here is the semibreve, he is the crotchet". A mere 6 pages later: "he could sit with unnerving patience watching Pelagia's hands doing the formal dance of the crochet." So that's how you spell them. Really, what are the chances?
2. RIP the Facebook man. Those of you who have met my littlest brother know that he is almost the splitting image of the facebook man, so this is a sad day for us indeed. Initially I was annoyed by the FB changes, but now I am starting to appreciate their true potential stalker powers.

Venice Part I
So we went here, the Veneto region in the northeast of Italy:


Map's not great, but Bertie lives in that place just south of the 5 - Castelfranco. Very exciting place - it seems Berts has found himself an Aylesbury in Italy. Some people would have thought this was impossible, but where there's a will there's a way.

Our holiday began with a little trip on the train. Both transport and drama were to feature strongly in the week (alongside ice cream, strong coffee, and spritz - more on this delight later). Bertie met us at Treviso station and we got on the train to Castelfranco. Strangely none of the stations had any signs on them, and despite purporting to know his way around, we completely missed our stop and ended up in Venice proper (aka Venezia aka the old swampy bit with the canals etc.) Our tickets weren't valid for this journey but luckily some random Australian Italians in our carriage were having a huge long kick-off with the ticket conductors about their tickets, so they didn't catch us. Excellent.

Anyway, to cut a loooong story short, eventually we made it to Castelfranco (learning lots of useful Italian along the way, particularly colours, mmmm gello treno.) Lots of people stared at us, I'd like to think it was because we were stunning rather than because were brown-skinned. Important note: there are about 4 brown people in the whole of Italy, 2 of whom were Dina (Sparrow) and I (I guess Jade counts as half ethnic, congrats Jade!).

Once in Castelfranco we spent a delightful two days wandering around and eating things. Highlights here include (once again in list form):

1. Bertie's lovely flatmate Francesca, who gave up her room for us, and spent many a happy evening chortling away in front of her computer (much like me, heehee)
   
2. Pushing two beds together and then sleeping sideways on them with Sparrow and Jade, and then slowly falling into the growing gap between the beds during the night
3. The electricity cutting out just in our apartment after a crazy loud storm with thunder and lightening and everything. We all hid in the bed and had a lovely nap and then chatted away.
   
4. Being trialled in an informal court by "Grandma Pink" and "Carmela" held in front of Bertie's building - this was particularly dramatastic because people kept popping their heads out of their windows and chucking their two pence in. Basically "Grandma Pink" bumped into us leaving Bertie's place on Tuesday morning and told him it was against the rules to have guests in Castelfranco unless they were registered with the carabinieri (aka Italian military police aka the Sardinies). Castelfranco apparently is a hot bed for illegal immigrants (where were they all, I didn't see any!) and so they were worried Bertie was setting up some kinda immigration racket (obviously, duh, I mean why else would he know any brown people?). "Carmela" joined in the fun and thus it was decided we couldn't stay there any more. However, later they softened and touched our faces and chatted with us etc. and then decided we could stay after all. Very strange procedures indeed.
5. Drinking numerous spritzes while wandering around Castelfranco for hours (strange it took us this long, it's not actually that big). I think this was Bertie's elaborate plan to stop us getting on trains all over Italy - sabotage, *sigh*. Anyway from Wiki: Spritz, an alcoholic beverage has its origins in the Veneto Region, Italy. Spritz is a bitter, summery pre-dinner aperitif made of either Aperol or Campari and mixed with White Wine or Prosecco and Sparkling Mineral Water. It is usually served in a lowball glass with ice, a slice of orange, and sometimes an olive. Particularly like the bit where they say it's a pre-dinner aperitif - one day we started drinking it at about 11am in Beppe's bar, and there was already a bloke in there drinking before us! Sure the Italians don't binge drink - they just drink all day instead.
6. Sparrow getting proposed to by the Internet cafe owner (ok, this didn't really happen, but it could have).
7. Teaching them to play 304 - an old school Jaffna card game, quite complicated, made more so by having to play with a local Trentine card deck, which is rather different to our standard Americo-French deck.

Can't really remember much more, and that all sounds rather droll, but really, it was a laugh a minute! Particularly trying to speak Italian - gosh we were awful! Tales from Verona tomorrow.

Behaviour Policy

Before I launch into a mini-rant about behaviour at my beloved Academy, some updates:

Hair: it's now been 25 days since I washed it with shampoo and I swear it's cleaning itself! I mean, I still thoroughly wash it with just water, but it's nowhere near as greasy as it was at the start. Plus, it feels thicker (although this could just be me following the spin). I do miss the smell of shampoo and given that I've been off serious sport for this whole time, it's not been properly tested yet. So far so good though.

Piano: I have now had 10 lessons and am thoroughly enjoying myself. I actually feel myself getting better every week and my musical theory is miiiiiiiiiles ahead of where it was (no idea how I got my grades before; perhaps evidence that "theory" incorporated into Guildhall exams can be bypassed). It's strange how I have completely forgotten how to read bass clef notes once I stopped playing 'cello and focused on trumpet. Also it's strange how I can now get my hands to do different things at the same time - not as hard as it looks! I have decided that it's definitely an advantage to try and learn something like piano at a young age since it is so mentally challenging (in a good way...as opposed to some of my little angels at school!) so if my future kiddies are up for it, I'll be smiling.

Anyway, onto the "drivel" as my blog has so offensively been described. My school is due to implement a brand new behaviour policy next term. The SLT attempted to give us some kinda input into what we were going to do at the start of the term, but we've not heard anything about it since. I'm guessing they will suddenly bombard us with new rules and guidelines and we'll be just as clueless as the kids.

Now, I'm all for a behaviour policy and will do my best to apply it as well as I can, but something like a behaviour policy requires every member of staff to follow through with it. Our school is so full of "old staff" who say they've seen these things fail time and time again that I don't think I'd be far off the mark if they didn't even try to implement it (or, fingers crossed they don't, but they could even sabotage it). This obviously won't be a good start, but a good start is crucial to the success of the policy.

Speaking of sabotage then, the whole SLT have been increasingly distinctly AWOL this half of term. Consequently behaviour has slipped dramatically to an almost unbearable level.

Take today, lesson 4, Y10 maths. Usually the maths department enjoys greater respect and better behaviour than most of the rest of the school; perhaps because most members of maths are "institutions" and the kids know not to mess. However, today, 10 minutes into the start of the lesson and there were at least 12 Y10s hanging around outside the block, and a further 5 who had already been kicked out of their lessons. Kids are just walking outta lessons and lounging around and refusing to go back. The group I team-teach were absolutely off the wall due to a cover teacher being present. Thankfully the Head of Department stepped in to give them a rollicking at the end of the session, but in other classes kids are getting away with it. Where's the SLT or Head of Year to come and sort them out? Nowhere to be seen. So the kids know they can get away with it and push it a little further each day.

I don't wanna be cynical or conspiracy theory about this, but I'm convinced the SLT are deliberately letting things slide with regards to behaviour so that next term when the new policies are introduced and behaviour improves, they can give all the credit to the marvellous new policy. In truth though, for the most part things will be better because they are finally doing their jobs again.

I guess I don't really care what eventually causes behaviour to improve as long as it does, but I can see things getting worse before they get better.

In other news, I'm singing in assembly on Friday - yes, dodgy I know, hahaha, but we'll see how we get on....