Yay it's the holidays!

Bah humbug. It's pretty much expected that as soon as the Christmas holidays start, teachers get sick. Booo. I am getting a cold, and am desperately trying to fight it by staying in tonight rather than going on the massive birthday based bender that was originally planned. Not my birthday, a friend's, but a bender nonetheless. But now I can think of nothing more exciting that going to bed early in the hope that I wake up nice and healthy. Fingers crossed, I have a busy day tomorrow.

Yay it's the holidays! Woohoo, 3 weeks of no kids and no teaching! True, the staff still have one more week of a combination of ICT training and packing for the new building, but whatever, will be fine, particularly since I have lots of revelry planned next week, so there will enough to keep me entertained (and hopefully not too hungover!)

The staff pantomime for the kids was awesome, Cinderella, so so funny! I loved how keen loads of the male teachers were to get dressed up as women, and there were loads of kiddie jokes, and jokes for the grown-ups, and inside staff jokes too, excellent! Alas, didn't get to play trumpet after all due to time constraints and problems getting enough cover, but no matter. Thoroughly enjoyed wearing my Santa hat and snowman earrings all day, plus all the Christmas cards and chocolates and games etc. I like the festive spirit! Lovely staff Christmas lunch then a pretty epic drinking session, teachers are such alchies! Woke up not too bad today, but then remembered some of the controversies from the night, and kinda cringed. Heehee, it's all in good fun I'm sure. Will try and stay out of trouble next week.

Yay yay yay, one more time! Now off to wrap the presents and marvel at my excellent Christmas decorating skills. The tinsel all over our stairs and banisters is my special favourite.

A lesson learnt?

It's almost sunrise and I've just got home after another ridiculous night. Bertie was supposed to be with me but I have somehow lost him along the way.

As if last night wasn't pushing it enough - nicey pricey cocktails on the 40th floor of 30 St Mary's Axe. The kinda place most teachers are just not allowed; the kinda place that has security checks for yourself and your bags, and simply assumes you are well-off enough for a tab. Good stuff.

But then tonight I officially feel hyper. As I have all day, and maybe even all week. So the Hawaiieen night reached its natural conclusion, with a French boy with a funny name, and then I decided it was time to run off home. And am I proud? No, I feel like an f-ing muppet for doing the same old sh*t once again, when I don't even care. So will I learn? I hope so. Especially since I have now lost two devil's trident type things, and also a set of flashing horns, alongside my flip-flops, which just got stuck in the stickiness of the floor. Classy. No, we were classy, when Bertie and I went to a lovely restaurant on The Strand called Paradiso Inferno (Heaven & Hell) and it was just like Luna Caprisce so I loved it, and so we started off on a good foot; I think I just can't help the drama.

My aim for this weekend now is to sort it out so I don't end up doing this again and then feeling all cross on the night-bus. Not worth it. Let alone the hangover. But then what can I do eh? It's a bit win-win, lose-lose right now.

Update 19:21

Hahaha, I have just re-read what I wrote, I am such a drama-queen. Actually, I did feel bad this morning, but Bertie Smarty Pants has reasoned and justified and managed to make me realise we only live once, so why worry eh? Besides, I like it that I have a reputation amongst lots of random strangers :)

Spent the whole day in bed, but only 4 hours asleep, the rest of it whining and moaning about the world's worst hangover. People who go on facebook and say they have a hangover are lying - a real hangover stops you from doing anything. I couldn't move my head, I had chills and sweats, and when this fly came in the room and started buzzing I thought the world was going to end. Happily at about 2:30pm I picked up the pace (an unintentional "tactical" in the words of my brother...the nausea was overwhelming) and now I am comfortably in my second wind. Meant to be at two separate parties in opposite sides of London - instead am doing the local family shindig where the whiskey will no doubt be flowing.

So no, I don't learn.

Civil Service Day

Tuesdays are meant to be the most productive days for UK workers. Am I feeling productive today? Kinda. Am I channeling this productivity? Not exactly. I do have grand plans - completing my uni applications. These plans are not quite at an implementable level. I have completed one though, so half the battle....most of that was already done though.

Reasons I am not working:

• I lost a scrabble game by 11 points, when it was in the bag until an entirely unforced error. Boo.
• Spurs lost last night. Again.
  
• I have a slight hangover.
• The lovely lovely staircase polisher man is singing along to Magic FM.
• I woke up at 5am and couldn't go back to sleep. This too wasn't that bad, meant I could daydream, giving me control of my screenplay rather than just having to accept whatever my mind chooses. Enough of that.
  
• I am still a bit high from yesterday and can't really be bothered to focus.

So, yesterday. It was the TF Government and Civil Service Sector Training Day. A really good day, learnt a lot about the Civil Service, how the Government is structured, how policy is implemented, the various roles civil servants can take on, the opportunities presented by the Fast Stream, a snapshot into the life of an MP etc. Very informative. Two highlights: visiting the House of Commons, and being taken on a whistle-stop tour of Whitehall while being simultaneously taught about the structure of our political system by lovely Irish Steve.


I didn't know that members of the public can actually sit in on parliamentary debates, but we can, you just have to request a ticket for the Public Gallery from your MP. You can find out who your MP is using theyworkforyou and then email your MP using links from the site. My MP was super efficient (a reason to vote Tory?) and got me a great seat.

We watched questions to Des Browne, Secretary of State for Defence, which was really good and detailed. The department under question gets questions submitted to them 5 days beforehand, and then they have to prepare all the answers. It's good to know that other MPs are questioning the actions of various departments, and also that there's a bit of checking and balancing going on even within the Labour party. I was a bit shocked at how the MPs behaved around each other, lots of heckling and cutting each other down etc. but the Speaker was a good referee and kept them under control (kinda reminded me of dealing with a rather enthusiastic class!)

Anyway this was all exciting enough, but then at about 3:20pm loads of MPs started coming into the Commons and we were all trying to figure out why. Then the big-shots came in too - Cameron and Brown. Mr Brown delivered his speech on the EU Treaty hot off the press, was really cool. Annoyingly we had to leave before it got super juicy, but it was pretty awesome to watch the whole thing and also see the Prime Minister and Charles Kennedy and Ian Duncan-Smith and others too live in action. I wanted to say live in concert there, heehee.

The crazy tour made me a laugh, mainly because Steve doesn't know I did politics at university, and also because I am shocked at how little I remembered from first year...clearly the years of drinking have knocked me out. Bless him though, he answered all kinds of questions and even dealt with my endless comparisons of our government being a large football squad and the Cabinet being the first XI. So despite being really rather hyper all day yesterday, I was on good form and it was educational.

Still a bit gutted that Spurs lost last night, but on the plus side I had a lovely evening with Mouche, with lots of walking and drinking and laughing about silly things. London at night by the river is SICK. It was strange, we were walking through these side roads in the cold cold back to the tube station and Westminster was just silent, it was like being in some village somewhere, very nice. I think the coldness helped keep me sensible, I am proud.


Right I'm going to have a nap to prep for some squash later this afternoon. Rouse, a shout-out to you, I am still laughing at you today, you're hilarious! Maybe I will dream of you and cakes...

The Day Off

We've had the day off school for Eid-Ul-Fitr. How have I spent it? Oh that's right. Hungover. Productive.

I have so many books to mark. In fact I'm so behind that I haven't set homework for two of my groups so that I could try and catch up. I also have soooo much to do for my uni applications. But no. The hangover must take precedent.

So let me give the hangover the attention it craves. It's a red wine hangover, mixed with unacceptable nicotine inhalation...the most potent of them all. I went to the gym to try and combat it, but even when sitting in the sauna after a hard workout, the faint aroma of shiraz and smokes lingered. And then when I got back home I managed to drop my car keys down the back of the shoe rack in the porch, thus I was trapped and the day was written off.

I knew I was going to get hammered after the rather effort-inducing Thursday. My Y10s decided to flip again, so I had to shout at lots of them. Even S, who is naughty naughty and has an awful home life, but I have made him one of my special stars, and he knows it. That's why it gets to me when he behaves poorly; it's like he's testing me all over again. I taught a great lesson with my Y9s on tessellations that I'd made at lunchtime while my detainees looked on. I drew lots of shapes and then photocopied them onto card and the kids spent the afternoon cutting out the shapes and tessellating them and colouring in the patterns. It was fun but hard work.

But then after school I had parents in, and there was Year 8 detention going on the next room, and the kids were just mad, like shouting and screaming and stuff. One kid in particular, she was just a nutter. Her twin sister is already on the way to an exclusion, and now I guess she wants some of the action. She called a cleaner stupid when she was in the detention, and then started shouting and swearing at her Head of Year when told off about it. While the Head of Year took her away to some senior management person, I was left with the detention kids.

One of them threatened to throw another out the window. The boy in the room was rocking on his chair and moaning at the window. Another girl was banging her head on the table and then rocking the table back and forth. I tell you, it was like the Breakfast Club but with proper freaks. I was counting the minutes to get outta the place, and head to the TF event. Needless to say the event was pretty good and the free canapes and drinks were even better.

Which brings me to now. I'm away this weekend so I have to pick up the pace and get this stuff done. Sorry hangover, time to move on.

Less doom and gloom

Relax, this post won't be all doom and gloom. How can it be, I'm eating Starburst? I better type fast though, since the come-down from the sugar high could well be shocking.

So let's get the doom outta the way. I am housebound this weekend because my cold has returned and my knee is hurt again after a heavy tackle in the staff kickaround yesterday. My Dad is once again calling me "Limping Lucy". I don't think he realises I rather dislike this particular pet name.

And now for the gloom. School was just about bearable, perhaps because I wasn't in on Weds and was so hungover on Thurs that I skipped home early. Responsible. Lots of drama concerning F in Y10 and potential accusations from her mother about inappropriate relationships with staff. Some other people have got far more involved that me, but still, I can sense trouble ahead on that front.

In more positive news, visited my old school, Forest, on Wednesday. Saw a range of Key Stage 3, 4 and 5 lessons. Was very impressed, particularly with partial fractions being taught without a board! A little bit scared though since hardly remember most of A-Level so could be tricky if I get an AS class in Sept. Saw a hilarious class of Y7 boys in the computer suite playing with fractions software. Also visited the brand new sports centre, sat at the teachers' table at lunch, went into the staff common rooms and saw lots of my old teachers - all very strange experiences but fun. Deffo learnt a lot and am still so surprised at how keen most teachers seem to be when it comes to sharing advice and resources and helping the new teachers out. The grass did seem better on the other side, but I didn't really want to be grazing over there either, if you see what I mean.

Later that evening went to the "Women in Leadership" even hosted by TF at Lehman Brothers. Seriously one of the better events I've been to - lots of charismatic speakers such as the chairman of the Women of the Year Assembly, the founder of Rococo Chocolates, the headmistress of a London school, a choral conductor who founded the Voices Foundation, and the head of Capital Advisory at Lehman. Learnt loads and loads, the most useful being three tips for teachers as leaders:

1. be a role model and find a role model: think about how people regard you, make other people feel good, boost other people's confidence, be positive
2. self-confidence/self-esteem: bellieve you can do something, recognise that you don't have all the answers, accept you will make mistakes, let someone else take the credit
3. get the best out of others: we are there to facilitate others, allow them to try (and fail) with safety net

That's kinda in note form, sorry about that. The other good little thing to remember is the 4 Rs of teaching/leading:

1. Reflect
2. Review
3. Revise
4. Resilience

Enough said about that.

Obviously the smart thing to do when you are feeling off-key is to go out and get hammered so that's what I did. Bad sign definitely when not just one, but two bars have to make you leave because they're closing. Was also pretty devastated when I thought I'd lost my teaching notebook, really should make a copy of some of the things in there. Luckily it was found, phew. Somehow we managed to get home, and my folks managed to hold back the critical/disappointed looks in the morning, so that was ok. Props to Sanju since she was actually being observed lesson 1 on Thurs and found that teaching hungover is a good look for her. Not so much for me, my lessons were ok but that's probably because I so beyond caring that nothing could get to me.

Anyway, it's the weekend now and I still can't hit the gym so instead am just gonna do my best to keep my chin up and stop this funk. That said though, am listening to "Kidz" by Plan B at the moment, and you know I spend all my days with these clowns, so what have I got to be wallowing about really? I can't wait to get back to being me.

Thursday and Friday

I am experimenting with orange. I quite like it, although I think it'd be more ace against black.

Following Spurs' defeat on Weds, I taught a whole day on Thursday. Pretty exciting stuff in the afternoon. I was in with Y9 and the Head of Department comes up and asks me to go and get a member of SLT to remove a kid from his class. Given that usually we call our HoD to haul kids outta our class, I wondered who it was that he needed help removing. I duly summoned an SLT member and they got "RP" out the class. However instead of dealing with her themselves, they gave her to me to take back to the lesson I was in. Why? Because they were all busy sorting out a fight between Y8 and Y11 that had happened at lunchtime. Anyway, she obviously caused a fair bit of chaos there (telling the kid next to her to "f*ck off" and calling me a "bitch") before we had to kick her out too (handing her back to SLT in the PE block). The next day, I asked SLT why RP was in school anyway when she clearly wasn't suited to our school life. They said they couldn't kick her out until they'd done everything they could. How is that fair for all the other kids that have to put up with her?

Thursday night went to TF Diners' Club in Waterloo. This one was for entrepreneurs' so had lots of nice chatter with people who owned their own businesses and people who wanted to set up things etc. Wasn't quite as impressed or inspired as I usually am when watching Dragons' Den but one guy in particular (salesforce.com) really sold himself and his business and managed to fight his corner very well (yes, I had indeed had a few drinks and was feeling wonderfully argumentative!)

Hangover on Friday. What a shocking week for being knackered and drinking. Finally I remember why I decided way back in September that it would be smart to go to bed early and not drink on a school night. Obviously, then, Friday is also the day that the maths department is declared unsafe for use and so all our classes are in chaos. Y11 lesson 1 were actually pretty good - breakthrough on the percentages front, whoop! At lunchtime I catch kids climbing up the scaffolding. They run away so I spend a jolly time chasing and admonishing them. Y7 after lunch were meant to have a lesson on angles. Had planned a group work lesson with protractors. Foolishly let them chose their own groups and have to improvise without the interactive whiteboard. Some work hard, others cause hassle. Finally I crack and hurl detentions left, right and centre. Tiring lesson indeed, but mainly because the scaffolding kids stressed me out at lunchtime and I was still wired for Y7. I need to learn to detach.

After that I have to cover 7E during tutor period. I like all the year 7 forms, but 7E are always a hassle. Managed to struggle through a 20 minute discussion on the "pros and cons of teaching" (yep, I often use the kids to sort out my own dilemmas) while various kids fell off chairs, shouted at each other, shook their fizzy drinks cans and sulked in corners. Good stuff. Anyway, I told them they couldn't go home until the pros list was longer than the cons, and then they started focussing, but still, didn't need the hassle.

Finally then, after school "SC" in Y9 is effing and blinding by the office demanding her mobile back. She refuses to leave the premises for about an hour before the police are called and come to escort her off. She still won't leave so they put her in the van and take her to the station. I wonder if she'll get excluded for that? By that point of the day, I wanted nothing more than to just run away, but instead played a solid game of indoor 5-aside and then felt like a million dollars. It's all about the sport.

Glad it's the weekend. Bumped into Dan F from primary school today - am now even more convinced that your mates at 11 will still be some of the greatest people you know. Am now inspired once again, but will focus on not thinking about kids for the rest of the day. One week to half-term :)

Puj, Fruli-frenzy had to be cut short cos they ran out of Fruli! We switched to merlot though, bon. Looking forward to hearing about India!

Bed time

It's 9:15pm. If I want to get my 8 hours sleep, I have to be in dreamland in approximately 15 minutes. Having slept a fair amount yesterday day-time after getting home from Oxford, I am wide-eyed and bushy-tailed (yes, like a squirrel...yum, nuts). This is great for now, but will feel rubbbbbbish tomorrow morning.

Why so early you ask? Well, I have a professional development trip for TF maths teachers to Telford School in, well, Telford (near Birmingham). They've created a wonderful online maths curriculum so that kids can have everything they need to teach themselves the syllabus in the absence of a teacher (competent or otherwise). I look forward to hearing what they've got to say, and also entirely ignoring HSBC, who sponsor the curriculum and the trip, and will no doubt try and convince us to work for them in the 6 hours of journeying back and forth from London.

I may well direct my kids to the site after one of them complained to her friend today that "she's not a real teacher, she doesn't even teach us anything", after I tried to get them to use their initiative to try and answer some GCSE questions. Bear in mind it's about three and half months to the exam and we've covered the whole syllabus, so you'd think by now they'd have some idea of what a rotation was. Humph. Good luck to them is all I say, cos despite rapidly losing my patience with them, this is about the worst I can do. The real working world will be a complete shocker to them no doubt. I can see why they say that kids come out of schools with no skills nowadays...they've been spoon-fed and allowed to sit on their arses for years, what does society expect?

Despite my crossness at them, I am still disappointed with my own professionalism, in that I told them that they might as well leave my lesson then, since there's no point sitting there wasting my time and their time. When they started raging, I just said I wasn't interested and ignored them, which only wound them up more. Good work. I try so hard to be mature, but when I'm dealing with 15 year olds, I find it hard not to resort to acting like one myself. I blame the hangover.

Anyway, I am over it and am going to bed to think about scales (both of the musical and the aquatic variety) and curving my fingers and stopping my left hand going mad on the keys (apologies for allowing you to witness my insanity Jade, again I blame the hangover). Happy thoughts, oh yes..surely a 5:30am wake-up call can only be a happy one?