The Wrong Side of the Bed

A valuable lesson learned today. If I get up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, the correct course of action is to get immediately back in and try again, else the day will be a write-off.

I only pursued this correct course of action at 4pm, when I got back home from school after much trauma, and lo and behold now I feel better. But a lesson learned the hard way.

Actually, I didn't sleep last night, that is probably more the cause of my traumas. I guess it was to be expected - I was having far too good a day on Wednesday that there was no way Thursday could keep up. The problem when I get really happy is that comedown is inevitable, and along with it arrives all kinds of paranoia, weird thoughts, and generally ridiculous actions. For example, I am running redlights, which is something I only do when feeling reckless. Luckily that was ok, but I hit problems when we made a giant skipping rope in the corridor at school and I tried to jump in without looking at the rope (surely the other members of the maths department should have stopped me?!). Inevitably I f-ed up my knee, and am now back to being Limping Lucy. Rubbish. This meant that I didn't do anything properly at school today, preferring instead to cause drama.

That was the most minor of traumas. I upset three people today - two on a small level, one on a real level. I don't know why I have to be honest about what I think and feel. Life was much better and easier when I just kept things to myself and didn't let other people affect me. It turns out being honest about things isn't always the best way forward, particularly when you end up looking like a fruitloop and people get upset with what you say. Further, knowledge is clearly power, so I should try and keep some of this power for myself. As a result, I am now making an effort to be quiet.

A few good things though. I packed up the Christmas decorations early, so at least I have done one thing today; I don't have that Norovirus thing, although am convinced I'll get it since some of the kids will have had it, plus my mother's a doctor so surely it'll somehow sneak in here; I am ignoring school work; I can still walk despite my knee :)

So yes, the RIGHT SIDE OF THE BED tomorrow. It has been decided.

The Weekend

Blah. It's Sunday. You know what that means....lesson planning. I figured out what I hate about teaching - all the stuff that isn't actually interacting with the kids in school. By that I mean planning, assessment, recording, reporting...bureaucracy. This probably sounds strange to those of you who know how well I love a good plan. I think lesson plans are different, mainly because I don't like teaching maths and the plans just lead to more plans.

It's almost 6pm. Our lunch guests left a short while ago after a booze fuelled feast. I have managed 7 days now on the detox; it's going well, but my target date is 5th October, which is FAAAAAAAR away. My family are being very weird about this. Last night we were at a family 21st and my mother asked me why I wasn't drinking. I explained the detox. She looked horrified. "Don't do that, you will only have a binge when you can drink again. It's better to drink a little bit each day rather than save it all up". She knows me well. My father's approach is rather different. We don't really do aperitifs in my house, preferring to hit the hard stuff straight. So at 12:50pm when our guests arrived, out came the big guns. "Whisky or brandy?," he asks. When I respond that a coke is fine, I get shocked looks from not just him, but my relatives as well. They proceed to demolish a bottle of whisky and three quarters of brandy. The Baileys and sherry also get a look in. Just after pudding the talk turns to an upcoming wedding between my cousin and her Muslim boyfriend. The concern here is that there will be no alcohol at the reception. My father and uncle put their heads together and decide that they will shoulder the responsibility of setting up a secret car park bar. Problem solved.

On Friday night we had a maths department curry, which was tasty tasty. Staying away from the Cobra meant that I could actually finish off my meal. However, I am concerned that I have just swapped drinking for food, a new addiction for me. My HoD remarked that he was thought I was a nice responsible girl until the Christmas drinks, where I went a little bit wild. It's a strange idea we all seem to have about drink...I can't figure out if people want me to drink or not.

During that dinner I heard two awesome stories from colleagues. One teacher told us all about how he'd ran a "bring a granny to the opera" programme when he was in charge of a youth centre. Each hoodie had to dress up nicely and invite a senior citizen to the opera. On the night 50 kids and seniors turned up at the ROH, everyone acting the perfect lady/gentleman. Woulda loved to have seen that! Another teacher told us about how she and three other teachers had been on a camping trip with some kids and had got so hammered during the night that they'd decided to hurl the kids' breakfasts at their tents! Imagine it, 30 eggs and sausages lobbed at sleeping children! In the morning one child was convinced that someone had been throwing eggs at him in the night. "Don't be so silly; it was probably a bad dream, " was the response. Shocking.

Aarrrgh I hate planning so much. Why am I doing this again?

Teacher Training aka Extended Nap Time

Day one of the academic year passed by pretty calmly in comparison to the drama of last week. In fact, at some points, it was positively tedious. I had to do all I could to keep my eyes propped open in the afternoon....by all I could I mean placing my entire 60 kgs on my left foot so that it really rather hurt.

From 9am to 3:30pm we were talked at about all kinds of things that I can't remember. The only bits that stuck were that we all have a lot of work to do, and that we shouldn't tell OFSTED inspectors the first thing that comes to our heads, since more than likely this won't do the school any good. Riiiiight, so is it normal practice to prep staff like this before an inspection?

I have 194 days of teaching to go. Is it bad that I'm counting down already? Ok, ok, some positives. I think I have my own classroom this year! Yippee! Well, I say I think...the maths teacher whose room it was last year is not pleased with this at all. Basically he's a head of year, and my new timetable has me teaching 19 a week, whilst he is only down for 15, so I've been given the room, and he's being made to shuffle through 9 different rooms. Essentially lots of crossness and drama in the staffroom this morning, excellent. Within about an hour of school it felt like we hadn't even been on a break.

This feeling was intensified when we started tidying up the maths office. It's full of supplies for the school move in January...why do we have them now already, hmmm? I was sorting out one part of the room when I flashed back to July when I was doing a very similar thing in a different part of the room. Sigh. What made me most cross about this activity was the amount of waste. We threw away so many perfectly good books and folders and other school paraphernalia. It was just shocking, although I guess the point that the other maths teachers made, that kids won't use second-hand goods, was reasonable in this day and age. I just kept thinking back to when I've been in Africa and India and Sri Lanka, where the kids are so desperate for pens and things, and yet here we are just chucking away so much educational equipment. It brought me down a bit, so I decided to leave them to it. Talk about team player.

In other news, I am spending a lot of time daydreaming, which is good fun. Perhaps the contents of my daydreams would cause controversy with some of you, but no matter, it passes the day. And no, I'm not thinking dodgy things about my children, you're so filthy for considering me capable of that. But even if I was, I'm having a detox this month so I think I deserve a treat.*

*In no way do I condone any kinda dodgy activity with children. Just thought I'd cover my back - sometimes my banter causes trouble!

Some inspiring perspectives

First, some good quotes from the day:

K (the Science TF at my school): "the poor can't help the poor."
E (the English TF at my school): "oh no, I'm not sad, I'm just destroyed."
My little bro: "that's the most use you can get out of a theology degree - putting down tramps on the train".

The fire alarm was set off twice today. Cheeky monsters. I think it must have gone off more than ten times this year, and by gone off I mean deliberately set off. There needs to be some serious tightening of the strings here - the kids are just plain having a laugh. I missed 30 mins of one free and my afternoon lesson with my Y7s was messed up, which was a shame since I took them to the computer room to treat them for how good they were yesterday. I will have to think of something else to do with them because they really were stars.

Speaking of thanking people, I had a very deep and meaningful chat with K (above mentioned) today. She's quite a secretive person, and over the year I've made jokes about how we could never be friends because neither of us would share anything, but in fact we have become pretty close. Today was her assessment and it sounded like it went well for her, so I hope she gets a good grade. Anyway, we were chatting in the teachers' resources room (aka the rubbish computer room) and she was telling me about her goals and visions and stuff. She was just so enthused, it was amazing to see. She wants to teach kids about life skills and perspective and potential - basically teach them how to drive for more. She's a natural mentor - I can see it in her whenever I talk to her she just makes you say whatever is on your mind, it's a gift really. She's just become second in science but she has much greater ideas for things. Two important things she said, apart from the quote at the start, was how she'd rather have recognition of her abilities than just money, and how it was important to define what success is to you. I am already inspired to aim for more.

Continuing on the ramble about how much I love everybody at school etc. I'm really glad to be working with both K and E, we all get on and support each other, I am so happy about that. Through any problems I've had they've been ace, and hopefully I've been good to them too. This is easy when people are your equals. But my question now is how do I show my gratitude to all the people who have helped me out this year, especially my department? I want them to see how much I appreciate them, but how? I'm not sure a nice cake will cut it (pun not intended!)

Tomorrow I'm on my primary school visit, yay!

Winner!

Yep, I feel like a winner today :) Since I can't drink yet, have been chomping on these amazing Jelly Belly jelly beans, yum yum!

My final assessment went really really well. I got graded "very good", which is the top grade CCCU gives to TFs. My portfolio was pretty hot, almost everything was there, just need to do some more work on assessment. My observed lesson could hardly have gone better - the kids were great, really keen and on the ball, no behaviour problems, all engaged and on task - it was a thing of beauty. Only minor issue was time, but I dealt with that. My favourite part of the interview was when my assessor said to me that I taught like someone who'd been teaching for 2 or 3 years, and that I was a natural. Hahaha, a natural teacher, who'd have thought it eh? He also said I should start laying the ground work to move up the ladder because there's lots of potential for responsibility. Exciting stuff! So yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right now :)

It's weird though, because recently I was really not enjoying this job, and obviously things are still tough, but I think my faith in me has been slightly restored. Maybe I could be a teacher after all....

But I wonder what it would be like to change schools? I'm always ranting about the problems in school, but my department and so many of my colleagues are just amazing, I don't think I'd want to go somewhere else. Really, especially with my department, they're all just so supportive and lovely, I don't think other departments could compare. Today, for example, after my observed lesson, they were all waiting outside to see what had happened - how sweet! And when I couldn't walk up the stairs they helped me get all the resources and organised room changes and sorted things out for me. I really owe them.

Wow, I think I am a wee bit emotional today, heehee.

Ooh but in other news, D in Y8 was back in my lesson today after 4 weeks in the LSU. He lasted 20 minutes before he started simulating a sexual act and so I had to kick him out. Also, heard a scary rumour that I may in fact be a Y11 tutor next year. Errr, no thanks.

Must stop the negativity....winning thoughts, winning thoughts...I'm a winner, yay!

This Rant Could Be Bigger

My knee is buggered again. I am cross. But also glad in that it's not as bad as it could be. I think I may have partially dislocated it, but luckily fell quick enough for it to pop back in. I felt my thigh and leg bones move away from each other and click. Gross. Now my knee is a big puffy ball and I can't really bend it or carry weight on it.

My HoD was complaining about tennis players and their excuses. He was saying that if you're not fit enough to play then you shouldn't play, rather than losing your match and making lame excuses afterwards. Extending the theory and applying it to teaching, does this mean I should try and postpone my final assessment on Monday? I won't be able to walk around and I'm on a rather weird combination of prescription medication which makes me feel a bit strange, both of which are delightful ready-made excuses in case I don't get the grade I would be expected to get. But would the honourable thing be to simply reschedule the assessment rather than putting in a mediocre performance now?

My professional tutor was in on Friday and my subject mentor asked her to come and talk to me about my "problems". Humph. My professional tutor is one of the least subtle and discreet people I have ever met. For example, in an attempt to get me to confide in her, she proceeded to disclose another girl's confidential information. In the past she has revealed and openly discussed the situations other TFs were in without seeming to care about privacy. How unprofessional! Anyway, I remained button-lipped, she is never going to be a help.

And finally, we got the draft version of next year's timetable on Friday. It is awful. I will save that rant for later. Oh yeah, one good thing from the buggered knee - at least I will have to stay in all weekend and be responsible and make my portfolio. Every cloud eh?

Four weeks to go!

Plus plus plus next week I'm on second school placement, so not really school, and Y11 are obvy not coming back, and Y10 are on work experience for two weeks, so things should get better!

I sneaked home early on Monday after my last lesson of the day (end of period 3 - 12:10pm) justifying it to myself by claiming that it's just silly to expect someone to stay for 3 more hours just to cover a 20 minute tutor time. Sure there were probably useful things I coulda done in that time (marking, planning, WA4, the dreaded P word....PORTFOLIO!!!!) But no, decided I'd had enough and did a runner.

School is going ok, am a bit la-la land about it all really. Y8s went a bit mad today, one even stormed out of break-time detention. Called their parents etc. but the kids for the after school detention skived it, so have slapped them into the SLT detention on Friday. Had a department meeting, wasn't that interesting really. I still find that I hardly understand what they are talking about or why, but have hope that maybe one day I will.

Been covering 7E while their tutor gets over the shingles. 7E and I are not the best of friends, but I think we are making small improvements. The class has lots of weirdos in it and they are hard to control, but I think I am going to try and up my game with them a little bit. This afternoon's idea of talking about tips for the new Year 6 crashed like a lead balloon, but they soon got back on side when I let the well-behaved kids leave 5 minutes early. This is probably an unprofessional strategy, sending out all kinds of bad signals, but whatever.

Am more concerned about the camera I bought on ebay still not arriving - am convinced my postman nicks all my fun things, grrrr. Also have my first meeting with my careers coach tomorrow night, so need to think of some things that I want to achieve....hmmm....well top of the list is surely getting through the next four weeks!

PS Suggestions for the stress head include: counseling, happy pills, an extended leave of absence from work...essentially all kinds of things that I'm not interested in doing thank you very much. So will just have to get my head back in the game - can't be that hard.

More complaining about my job

Last night I realised it's been about 3 months since I officially started hating my job. The drain of work is still nice and strong, sigh. Despite only being properly back for one day, and not even having to teach my own classes today (just team teach), it was still pretty hard to bear. Signs that I am slowly giving up the fight include a Y10 waving her phone in my face to deliberately wind me up, and me just ignoring her; a Y7 boy kissing his teeth at me, and me just ignoring him; the usual complaining and bitching in school, and me joining in; and, best of all for last, me fantasising about deliberately sabotaging my application for Qualified Teacher Status (QTS) so that I can get out of my contract. What on earth has happened?

Assuming I just plod through these next 6 weeks to the summer, then come September I think I will be teaching 5 classes of maths, 18 periods a week. This isn't too bad I guess, but I don't really like teaching maths and now this is just more of it. Boooo. I am entirely jealous of the '05s - being the final straight is just so distant.

I don't think it helped that I read an article published by the Mathematical Association about problems recruiting and retaining maths teachers. In his 2004 report, Making Mathematics Count, Professor Adrian Smith estimated that the current shortfall in mathematics teachers is around 3500; that over 30% of those teaching maths had no post A-level qualification in the subject; that the turnover rate doubled between 1991 and 2001; and that a higher proportion of mathematics teachers are reaching retirement age in comparison with teachers of other subjects. Worrying signs for maths education.

Based on this report, researchers from the Institute of Education wondered if there was something specific in maths teaching that was causing the problem. So, between 2004 and 2005 they carried out interviews with a range current and former maths teachers (old teachers, young teachers, from all regions, holding all kinds of positions of responsibility, with varying degrees of teaching experience, and from a variety of backgrounds) to determine reasons for joining and staying in/leaving the profession.

Some key stats from the report include: that 50% of current Heads of Departments do not intend to continue in the role, and 33% intend to seek promotion outside of the department. Of the former maths teachers, 67% are now employed entirely outside of education. One-tenth of the sample of current teachers, and one-fifth of the sample of former teachers reported detrimental effects on their health caused by their jobs, in the forms of stress, anxiety or both.

Main reasons for joining the maths teaching profession: good at maths, had a maths degree, enthusiasm for or interest in maths, practical reasons (e.g. changing from PE teaching when older, availability of maths teaching posts, teaching following redundancy, dislike of current occupation, financial incentives to train), interaction with young people, being a role model, teachers in the family, stability/security/prospects.

Main reasons for leaving: excessive workload, inadequate facilities, lack of collegial support, admin tasks associated with teaching, conflicting responsibilities/overburdened with responsibilities, changes to the curriculum, negative attitudes toward the subject, high-stakes testing, pressure, whole-school issues such as SLT style and pupil behaviour.

The most common reason for staying in maths teaching concerned the enjoyment obtained from work. The second most common reason for staying concerned difficulties with changing careers. Aaaaaaaaargh, this does not bode well.

In other news, yesterday we had our last subject studies day, which is a pretty big hurdle. Next year we will have to teach 6 more days since we will have no subject studies days. We will also have to do cover. Grrr. Anyway, we went on a maths trail in the morning in Westminster - 3.5 hours of unsupervised time, excellent. The trail was reviewed, some new ideas for the four sections (roman numerals, shapes, numbers, calculations) were jotted down, and then the pub was swiftly found. A nice pint by the riverside in the middle of London on a sunny day - beautiful. After that we returned to our Tower Hamlets training venue and discussed WA4 (high expectations...hmmm), the return to Canterbury, resources and sessions for the '07s, and things we wished we had known at the start. Then a lady from NCETM (National Centre for Excellence in the Teaching of Mathematics) turned up to chat to us about it and why we should join. This was a bit pointless - our tutor had already raved a fair bit about it, so why do more? Those who wanted to join, have by now, so no need to keep on at it. At one point the lady said something about "wearing two hats", which is our tutor's tag-line. This made me laugh out loud, I had to break into a fake cough to disguise it.

Well, that is enough rambling for now. I hope your jobs are more enjoyable :)

Funny Ginger + ranting

I am not well and about to go to bed. But before that, some ranting.

Forgot to mention last time that when that little boy lost the plot and started shouting at me, he did it in front of another teacher, who at the time tactfully didn't get involved, but then later told the rest of the maths department about what had happened. This explains why my Head of Department tried to have a serious chat with me (think I avoided that one) and why my subject mentor asked me, completely out of the blue, who I would get rid of from my Y8 group if I could get rid of anyone. Obviously the fact that the kids think of me as weak is one thing, but it's lovely to know that the rest of my department thinks I am a bit rubbish too.

Hmmm, so maybe this is why I don't feel well, my body is wimping out of having to face more of the music tomorrow.

Berts, really, now I don't remember the conversation at all. I'm glad I was nice, but my memory is clearly shot to pieces - maybe it is taking the assault intended for my liver?

Anyway, in funnier news, I am stealing this from Ginger's drunken FB note cos it's just that funny!

Ahhhh everyone loves a good school anecdote. Well, not when I'm drunk and ranting about them, but none-the-less, let's get some of them down for posterity.


Year 9 girl: "Miss, am I a sperm?"
Me: "Errrrr.....no".
Girl: "But, miss, Racquel said I was".

Hmmm.

Same girl: "Miss, where are you from?"
Me: "Birmingham".
Girl: "Oh, is that why you're so posh, then?"

If only she knew.

My favourite anecdote - everyone has probably heard it by now:
Year 11 science. Thursday afternoon. Have alreday been called a ginger bitch. Not feeling great about the lesson. Go to demo group 1 metals in water. Slightly over-enthuse with the sodium. Massive explosion; smoke fills the room, a loud bang is heard and sparks rain down on us all. A piece of paper is set on file. Many girls now screaming and hiding under tables saying that I'm trying to kill them. One student shows me her t-shirt; it is covered in little singe marks from the sparks. Thankfully, she thinks this is "cool".

Once girls have dismissed, have a little cry in the deputy head's office.

Oh holy Jesus.

Obviously, some children have no sense of what is acceptable:
"Miss, how is your sex life going?"
"Miss are you on your period, because you're in a really bad mood tooday".

Me being inappropriate when yr13 girl answers phone in the lesson:
(pointing at phone) "Oi, Debbie, can we have it off please?!"
My subsequent giggling kind of undermined the telling off.

Bizarreness:
(in the middle of a lesson when I am dissecting a pig's heart):
"Urgh miss it looks like a pussy."

Observing at a mixed school, also in Hackney:
yr 7 boy: "Oh miss, you're giving me a boner".

A lovely Turkish yr 9 girl is using her Turkish-English dictionary to help with her work - she is trying to describe an experiemnt where we looked at kitchen roll soaking up water and she is trying to describe this:
"The flaccid tissue will take up more water."
Poor girl had mis-translated "soft". Once I had figured this out I explained that flaccid was probably not the best word to use. Bless her. Struggled to keep a straight face.

School update

Thursday, whoop. Thursday is usually meeting day. Cue a 2 hour department meeting apres school. Actually not so bad. Am starting to vaguely understand the point of all the things we discuss and can occassionally make useful comments. True, today I just joined in the bitching (I know, how awful, I'm not a bitch, what has happened to me?) but also realised that being a head of department is even more work than just teaching, if that's even possible.

Spent another day as 7A tutor. Having covered them for almost a week now, am starting to really like the little blighters and am even getting to know them etc. Told them the story of how marathons got their name. The kids in my maths group now think I am super obsessed with marathons, but I'm not really, they're just topical and full of interesting maths and other stuff. Think I will be a bit sad when I have to give them up - 7A, not the marathon obsession. Before it was always fun to move around the year 7 tutor groups and get to know all the kids, but now I'm kinda looking forward to having my own group next year.

Timetabling discussions are going on at the moment for next year. Speculation is rife about my timetable, what with no-one really knowing exactly what I'm teaching. New Head of VIth form approached me about teaching A-Level Sociology. Obviously have no experience of teaching social sciences or KS5, but why should that stop me? Jumped at the chance, then realised that I was probably already looooooaded up with maths, so some negotiation may have to take place there.

Was observed period 2 today by a visiting professional tutor (due to the continued sick leave of my actual professional tutor). He turned up a late, halfway through the lesson in fact, which obviously sent my little angels off the wall, but still got a pretty good review afterwards. My Year 8s did their listening paper as part of exam week and then watched Mr Bean. Is it wrong that I'm dreading actually having to teach them properly again next week? And then through all of Year 9, where it is fully expected the real nutters will reach their peak of madness?

As you can see then, my life is chocablock with school. So much so that I haven't been to the gym in two days because every evening I am busy planning lessons, writing up evaluations, marking tests, writing reports, completing risk assessments, collecting evidence for OFSTED etc. Bring on the 6 weeks of freedom this summer, bliss. Better yet, drinks tomorrow night and maybe a little pizza too at that special place we never ever go to :)

Funny maths things

Two funny things happened in school today. Well, lots of funny things, but two particularly funny things.

Firstly, period 2, support teaching Y10, a lesson on ratios. As a starter the teacher has pictures of giant apples and bananas on the board, and asks the class the ratio of apples to bananas. There are 6 apples and 2 bananas so some pupils correctly answer 6:2. The discussion moves on to simplifying ratios. In an attempt to help them understand, the teacher splits the fruit into two groups so that there are 3 apples and 1 banana in each group. However, the teacher does not really consider the layout of her new fruit groups. She stacks the 3 apples one on top of each other, and then puts the banana next to them. The banana is at an angle. Cue ridiculous guffawing from most of the class, and, I am ashamed to say, me too. The teacher isn't sure what is going on and so tells them to be quiet and then continues pointing at the giant ratio fruit, now resembling huge wide awake willies. Oh dear.

Secondly, I was marking Y7 practice papers for their exams next week. Yawn yawn, I hate exam papers, and can't believe I have to prep my Y7s for their end of year exams, how ridiculous, talk about narrowing the curriculum and teaching to the test. Anyway, question 10 is about sampling. Ali, Brian and Caro all ask people to taste two drinks and decide which they think is the supermarket cola and which is the more expensive cola. Ali surveys 20 people, Brian surveys 50 people, and Caro surveys 200 people. Part d is as follows, with sincere answer from one of my Y7s:

Ali, Brian and Caro all had different results. Whose result is likely to be the most reliable? Tick your answer.

Y7 ticks Ali.

Explain why you chose that answer.

because I wouldn't bother going round to ask 200 or 50 people about some coke! it would waste my energy. I think 20 people would save time.

Bear in mind we spent aaaages on surveys and sampling, and almost every other kid in the class got the question correct by choosing Caro and explaining that she surveyed the most people, and this kid's answer gets even more funny. Bless.

Here's an article on TF, perhaps with a vision some of us jaded TFers have forgotten....
And another one in the same issue of The Independent, which is all about TF but manages not to mention it by name at all, ingenious.

Less doom and gloom

Relax, this post won't be all doom and gloom. How can it be, I'm eating Starburst? I better type fast though, since the come-down from the sugar high could well be shocking.

So let's get the doom outta the way. I am housebound this weekend because my cold has returned and my knee is hurt again after a heavy tackle in the staff kickaround yesterday. My Dad is once again calling me "Limping Lucy". I don't think he realises I rather dislike this particular pet name.

And now for the gloom. School was just about bearable, perhaps because I wasn't in on Weds and was so hungover on Thurs that I skipped home early. Responsible. Lots of drama concerning F in Y10 and potential accusations from her mother about inappropriate relationships with staff. Some other people have got far more involved that me, but still, I can sense trouble ahead on that front.

In more positive news, visited my old school, Forest, on Wednesday. Saw a range of Key Stage 3, 4 and 5 lessons. Was very impressed, particularly with partial fractions being taught without a board! A little bit scared though since hardly remember most of A-Level so could be tricky if I get an AS class in Sept. Saw a hilarious class of Y7 boys in the computer suite playing with fractions software. Also visited the brand new sports centre, sat at the teachers' table at lunch, went into the staff common rooms and saw lots of my old teachers - all very strange experiences but fun. Deffo learnt a lot and am still so surprised at how keen most teachers seem to be when it comes to sharing advice and resources and helping the new teachers out. The grass did seem better on the other side, but I didn't really want to be grazing over there either, if you see what I mean.

Later that evening went to the "Women in Leadership" even hosted by TF at Lehman Brothers. Seriously one of the better events I've been to - lots of charismatic speakers such as the chairman of the Women of the Year Assembly, the founder of Rococo Chocolates, the headmistress of a London school, a choral conductor who founded the Voices Foundation, and the head of Capital Advisory at Lehman. Learnt loads and loads, the most useful being three tips for teachers as leaders:

1. be a role model and find a role model: think about how people regard you, make other people feel good, boost other people's confidence, be positive
2. self-confidence/self-esteem: bellieve you can do something, recognise that you don't have all the answers, accept you will make mistakes, let someone else take the credit
3. get the best out of others: we are there to facilitate others, allow them to try (and fail) with safety net

That's kinda in note form, sorry about that. The other good little thing to remember is the 4 Rs of teaching/leading:

1. Reflect
2. Review
3. Revise
4. Resilience

Enough said about that.

Obviously the smart thing to do when you are feeling off-key is to go out and get hammered so that's what I did. Bad sign definitely when not just one, but two bars have to make you leave because they're closing. Was also pretty devastated when I thought I'd lost my teaching notebook, really should make a copy of some of the things in there. Luckily it was found, phew. Somehow we managed to get home, and my folks managed to hold back the critical/disappointed looks in the morning, so that was ok. Props to Sanju since she was actually being observed lesson 1 on Thurs and found that teaching hungover is a good look for her. Not so much for me, my lessons were ok but that's probably because I so beyond caring that nothing could get to me.

Anyway, it's the weekend now and I still can't hit the gym so instead am just gonna do my best to keep my chin up and stop this funk. That said though, am listening to "Kidz" by Plan B at the moment, and you know I spend all my days with these clowns, so what have I got to be wallowing about really? I can't wait to get back to being me.

Day 101

Yep, that's correct, today was my 101st contact teaching day at the Academy. We're contracted to 195 contact days a year (aka teaching days; as opposed to training days) so yippee, we're over halfway. Although when you think that I've got 94 more days to go, well....no, mustn't wish my life away!

I was spreading this prime piece of knowledge around the staff today and M8 (I have decided to refer to the other maths teachers by their classroom codes) said it was strange that I count down days. I said it was something that I always did, and that this was a massive improvement since in my last job I used to count down hours, and, in extreme cases, minutes. She said that it was better to just take each day at school as just a day, rather than something to get through on the great quest to the summer break. I guess I kinda agree with her, but what is better and what is actually possible are different things.

This led us to an interesting discussion about teaching and how there was no point really counting down towards the break because teaching is always with us. I'm pretty good at "zoning out" my teaching world, although only when I am really concentrating on something else, or when I have no pressing reason to think about it e.g during the holidays. Other teachers, however, find that their lives are more or less consumed by teaching.

I guess If I'm honest, during the term I am pretty much consumed by school-life. Anyone who knows me pretty well will find I can, and will, ramble on about the wackiness of school for ages. I've only been back at school one day and already I am knackered and thinking about the millions of things I have to do with regards to school. Some of these millions of things are small, but still count as items on a seemingly never-ending to-do list. Aaaaargh, stressful....I hate having things to do!

Alongside all that one has to actually do as a teacher (physically and intellectually tiring things), M5 and M6 pointed out that teaching is emotionally exhausting too. There are very few other jobs where one goes in every day with a brave face ready to be confronted and challenged for 7 hours solid. Some of the behaviour really is challenging and wears you down. The problem is that you can't vent your feelings at school and so you end up storing it up and taking it out on someone or something else. Luckily for me I usually get rid of my stress at the gym, but they said that often they end up snapping at other people or are just too tired and stressed after school to want to do anything else (hence teaching taking over your life). M6 made the excellent point that teaching is completely manageable if everything else in your life is totally sorted and trouble free; a rare occurrence for most people.

In other news, I have a mouth ulcer and potential insomnia - my mind tends to wander when I'm in bed trying to sleep. That's kinda why I'm posting now, in the hope that writing down the words will stop my mind thinking them..although this could back-fire spectacularly since now the thoughts are fresh in my mind. I don't think the block of cheese I snacked on will help either...

PS Check out SB's blog for a really interesting debate on university tuition fees...
PPS JD the strategist eh? And there was me thinking you'd be something in security. I'm still looking for a Turk to match my Carla...

Drama

Wednesdays are meant to be quiet, but they never are. Some top drama today.

I had been marking in the maths office periods 1 and 2. When I came back to the office at lunchtime after support teaching periods 3 and 4, I noticed that my pencil case was gone. Strange, I thought. In fact, I was quite cross, since I love my stationery, and I hate the idea of anyone daring to take anything of mine (I have just about accepted the fact that I will never see my USB stick again...as my mentor says "if it's not nailed down, the kids'll have it").

Anyway, looked around the office and couldn't find it, so did the responsible thing and went to eat lunch. In the staffroom, I mentioned my missing pencil case to another maths teacher, who helpfully pointed out that they had caught a "well known Year 10 kleptomaniac" wandering around the maths department during period 3. Interesting. I went back over to our block and looked through my bag. Shocker, my calculator had been nicked too! Now I was cross.

I went upstairs and spoke to yet another maths teacher about the "kleptomaniac" and she directed me to the Head of Year 11 (yes, another maths teacher). Now, this guy is amazing. There are a lot of people I could criticise with my meagre 5 months of teaching experience, but the Head of Year 11 is certainly not one of them. He's the kind of teacher I aspire to be. No messing, he gets the job done, he's strict but fair, the kids respect him, and he's always there when you need him. So straight away he leaves his office and marches over to the main school to find out where klepto is timetabled to be. As we're walking up to C5, we bump into the caretaker. When we tell him the story, he says that he found a calculator in the boys' toilet in the maths department. Hopeful that it is mine, we make a diversion to his office.

Alas, it's not mine. Worse, it is one of thirty unmarked school calculators, which are also kept in the maths office. We hurry back over to the maths block to check out the office again, and lo and behold, the entire crate of calculators has been nicked! Hahaha, no longer a case of petty theft but over £250 worth of stolen property. Now the chase is on to catch the culprits and recover the calculators.

To cut a looooong story short, we managed to get 22 back (from all corners of the school, literally). The kid who'd nicked stuff right outta my bag had his stuff searched and I got my calculator back. Sadly the amazing pencil case is still missing, including the magic pen with a highlighter on the end that said "congratulations, you made the effort" on the side (a gift from Walmer Science College in Kent, one of the first schools I taught in over the summer). And the saga isn't over yet, since the school is supposedly getting the police involved (yeah, likely. Not). Still, dramatastic.

In other news, two comedy events from the day:

Period 1, covering a Y8 English lesson for 5 mins:

Girl: Miss, I had a snowball fight at 6am.
Me: That's nice. I like snow, but mostly from the inside. I don't like to get my feet wet.
Girl: You don't like snowball fights? You adults need to learn to have some fun!

Hmmm, when did I become old and boring? And why do I try and share my thoughts with kids?

Tutor time in the afternoon:

Boy: Miss, can you put my interview sheet on Sir's desk?
Me: Ok.
[Boy takes sheet out of pocket. Condom falls out of pocket onto the floor]
Me: Errr, it's school-time, why have you got that in school?
Boy: It's not mine, Miss.
Me: Why do you have it then?
Boy: I dunno.
Me: (realising I should be promoting condoms) Good, well, better safe than sorry.

No school tomorrow, training day, yay!