Whirlwindy

Helllooooo!

I am alive, have just been crazy busy with:

• inspections (oh dear, don't ask)
  
• marking
• getting older (and not wiser)
• TF events
• my naughty form group, in particular crazy "H"
• breaking up fights
• shouting at kids (husky voice anyone?)
  
• coaching footy (awesome new Y7 players)
  
• chewing gum detentions
• wedding receptions (still not mine, despite the best efforts of my folks!)
  
• staff meetings
• playing scrabulous (gosh, I'm addicted I think!)

Will give you an update on the weekend, hope you are all well and less "whirlwindy" than me.

Lunchtime chaos

It's Saturday. I am lesson planning. Well, technically, I've not started yet, but at some point today I intend to plan some lessons. In case it's not already been mentioned, we're being inspected on Monday and Tuesday. This is causing muchos chaos in the school. Further, I know I say it all the time, but once again for luck...I hate lesson planning. Especially when I have to miss, not just one, but two weddings so that I can work today. Booooo.

On Friday there was a huge fight at lunchtime involving Y8, Y10 and Y11 boys. I don't know exactly what happened or why, but it was pretty scary stuff. I was standing in the playground outside the maths block telling off some weirdo girls from my Y10 maths group. They were pointing bananas in the face of the younger kids, who were fasting for Ramadan. That's pretty cruel and unnecessary in my book. Anyway, as I was reprimanding them, they interrupted and said "Miss, you should probably be more worried about the fight than the bananas." I turned around and saw kids streaming into the canteen. Within seconds, there was a hysteria across the playground as children started shouting and whooping and storming into the school. Literally maybe 200 ran past and rushed the school. It was out of control. It took me about 5 seconds of just standing there as kids ran past before I woke up and thought I'd better try and do something. I stood in front of one door and started yelling at the on-comers to stop what they were doing. Around this time a load of teachers appeared from the staffroom and started evacuating the canteen and blocking the other doors to stop kids going in. So kids started pouring out of the school and instead charged towards the order end of the building. Soon there were about 100 kids coming through the other way, and boys being restrained by the main entrance. The little Y7s just looked stunned and some got knocked about as the kids were ushered back outside again. Luckily the bell rang for lessons and so things settled down a bit, although my Y9 class after lunch were pretty hyped up. My throat is still sore this morning from all the shouting.

I've seen this kind of stuff a few times at school, but really, when they realise their collective power, it's scary, really scary. There are a lot more of them than us, and some students really don't care about hurting other people. For a time (a very short time but still) it was mob rule in school and we were powerless. I wonder what the inspectors would say about that?

More tough stuff

One of my Y10 students threw a ruler at me today. In my classroom. During my lesson. Whilst my back was turned. Little monster.

We are being inspected on Monday and Tuesday. Hours and hours of paperwork etc. need to be sorted before then.

I have a glorious headache. The kind that increases when you bend to pick something up.

I'm going swimming.

Drama Day

Taught three lessons today. Plenty of drama to go around.

Lesson 1: Year 7 (the x half of the year) were meant to complete their initial assessment test. First 15 minutes all good. Then one of the lads from my tutor group knocks on the door. "Miss, none of our class know where we're supposed to be for lesson 1". Oh dear. Leave my class for 5 minutes while I pop over to the main school. Lo and behold there are two Year 8 groups without teachers or classrooms milling about in the main corridor. Was surprised that things hadn't kicked off already; give them 5 more minutes and trouble would definitely start. One of the SLT is there trying to sort them out. She says she desperately needs the SLT chap in charge of timetabling. He's currently teaching in the room opposite where I am so I offer to briefly cover his room while he sorts out these kids. Obviously this takes up the whole lesson and he's not seen until break. Sooo, back in the maths block I am switching between my Year 7 maths test and the Year 7 science lesson next door. In the science lesson I have the kids drawing the equipment from their last lesson experiment and writing up methods. Have my eye on the other class too. Suddenly I hear a yell. Step back into my maths room and two boys are having a fight in the middle of the room. Excellent. Sort all that out and order them back in at lunch time for detention. When I return to the science class, one of the boys has managed to catch his trousers on a chair and is now causing a nice little scene. More fun.

Period 2 is spent sorting out the incident sheets for the fight and then trying to fix my tutor group documentation.

Period 3: Year 10. That kid, A, is back in my class. He saunters in late, uniform a mess, no stationery. Finally get him to open up his book. Lots of back chat so I ask him to leave the room to calm down. He comes back in and settles a bit, although he is still trying to push the boundaries. End of the lesson he thrusts his red report card in my face. "Sign it," he demands. How rude! I begin my lecture on politeness and how he is meant to put his report card on my desk at the start of the lesson. He starts kicking off, and then, the final straw. "You won't sign my report because I'm black and you don't like that". I am still so cross that he's said this that I have nothing more to say.

Period 4 was spent fuming and sorting out incident reports for him and another rather less naughty boy from that class.

Lunchtime: manage my detainees and plan for the afternoon, whilst trying to ignore day's drama so far. Also call the annoyed mother of a boy in my tutor group - he is studying Urdu when he asked to be in Spanish. Urdu?! Walk down the stairs and am about to leave the maths block. See a kid's head fly into the main door, and then two boys tearing pieces out of each other. Struggle to get the door open, but thankfully another teacher appears and yanks them apart.

Period 5: Year 9s after lunch woulda been trouble, but actually they were good as gold.

Tutor time: also manageable, despite issuing them with spelling lists! I vow to get my form under control. Have to keep one behind for constant talking.

And finally, just when I think I can get out of there, I check my pigeon hole. Three incident sheets for crazy H. I haven't seen him since morning registration, but clearly he has been causing trouble. Bunking lessons, calling teachers "pr*cks and bullsh*t, and my personal favourite....hiding in bushes and refusing to come out to go to lessons. We have no Head of Year at the moment so I have no clue what I'm supposed to do to sort him out.

It's a good thing I love drama.

My horoscope today:

The solar eclipse in Virgo suggests major life changes are imminent for many Virgos. You cannot remain the same and events from as long ago as 2003 are finally being sorted out. Don't try to tread the middle ground. The energy of these times says you have to come off the fence and make choices. So far this year you've been pulled from pillar to post, seemingly at the mercy of unpredictable changes. But you have a chance to break the mould, throw it away and begin again. It's time to take some small chances.

That all sounds fun doesn't it? My favourite bit is "the energy of these times". Right.

More horoscopes + the dread

I hardly slept last night. I'd like to think it was because I was in "weekend mode". But I think really it was because I was dreading school today. All night and before school I was just dreading going there. But, after running a healthy 4km by 7am, well, I was up for it a bit more. And, actually, school was wonderful. All the usual drama (and then some!) but I kept my cool. By the end of the day I was finding it hard to imagine not being there. Essentially switching from one extreme to the other in 24 hours. A bit of bipolarity applied to school-life. Gotta keep it interesting.

But then I read my horoscope in the free Daily Mail I picked up in the gym.

The coming two days are some of the most important in the year, with some difficult but necessary decisions to be made. Have a detached and objective look at the past week or so and ask yourself what - or who - you can let go of. See it as some necessary weeding and pruning so the future can come in without having to negotiate worn-out emotional baggage. The key words for you at the moment are effectiveness and efficiency. Functionality is another and suggests new beginnings. But that's tomorrow.

Scary? I think so. This is the kind of ominous horoscope that leaves me wanting to hide in my bed all day tomorrow, listening to the Greatest Hits of the Lighthouse Family, Sade, John Legend and Texas. Except I can't because my silly MP3 player is still broken. So I will have to start up that whole dread thing again. Am so bored of that.

In the world of Hollyoaks, Sarah found out about Craig and John-Paul today. So dramatic, it was awesome! What on earth will happen now? I thought it was weird how easy everyone found it to pick sides. Although, upon reflection, I guess it was pretty clear whose side everyone would be on. I guess our own world isn't so black and white.

And lastly I took this article in to show my Y12 sociology group. They loved it.

Scary Horoscope

Just read my horoscope for the week. Scary....

"Concentrating on you and your needs is challenging at the best of times, but it will be particularly tricky this week. On the one hand, Tuesday’s Virgo eclipsed New Moon marks a period of deep personal reflection. On the other, the combination of this and late August’s lunar eclipse brings chaos around you, and you’re worried things need to be attended to. They can wait. In fact, they must wait until you’ve had a chance to give serious thought to whether it’s time to alter or simply abandon certain plans. Only once you know what’s staying should you even consider responding to the changes around you."

Read your Sunday Times Horoscope here.

The Weekend

Blah. It's Sunday. You know what that means....lesson planning. I figured out what I hate about teaching - all the stuff that isn't actually interacting with the kids in school. By that I mean planning, assessment, recording, reporting...bureaucracy. This probably sounds strange to those of you who know how well I love a good plan. I think lesson plans are different, mainly because I don't like teaching maths and the plans just lead to more plans.

It's almost 6pm. Our lunch guests left a short while ago after a booze fuelled feast. I have managed 7 days now on the detox; it's going well, but my target date is 5th October, which is FAAAAAAAR away. My family are being very weird about this. Last night we were at a family 21st and my mother asked me why I wasn't drinking. I explained the detox. She looked horrified. "Don't do that, you will only have a binge when you can drink again. It's better to drink a little bit each day rather than save it all up". She knows me well. My father's approach is rather different. We don't really do aperitifs in my house, preferring to hit the hard stuff straight. So at 12:50pm when our guests arrived, out came the big guns. "Whisky or brandy?," he asks. When I respond that a coke is fine, I get shocked looks from not just him, but my relatives as well. They proceed to demolish a bottle of whisky and three quarters of brandy. The Baileys and sherry also get a look in. Just after pudding the talk turns to an upcoming wedding between my cousin and her Muslim boyfriend. The concern here is that there will be no alcohol at the reception. My father and uncle put their heads together and decide that they will shoulder the responsibility of setting up a secret car park bar. Problem solved.

On Friday night we had a maths department curry, which was tasty tasty. Staying away from the Cobra meant that I could actually finish off my meal. However, I am concerned that I have just swapped drinking for food, a new addiction for me. My HoD remarked that he was thought I was a nice responsible girl until the Christmas drinks, where I went a little bit wild. It's a strange idea we all seem to have about drink...I can't figure out if people want me to drink or not.

During that dinner I heard two awesome stories from colleagues. One teacher told us all about how he'd ran a "bring a granny to the opera" programme when he was in charge of a youth centre. Each hoodie had to dress up nicely and invite a senior citizen to the opera. On the night 50 kids and seniors turned up at the ROH, everyone acting the perfect lady/gentleman. Woulda loved to have seen that! Another teacher told us about how she and three other teachers had been on a camping trip with some kids and had got so hammered during the night that they'd decided to hurl the kids' breakfasts at their tents! Imagine it, 30 eggs and sausages lobbed at sleeping children! In the morning one child was convinced that someone had been throwing eggs at him in the night. "Don't be so silly; it was probably a bad dream, " was the response. Shocking.

Aarrrgh I hate planning so much. Why am I doing this again?

Thursday Ramble

Period 1: PSHE with my form. Have observed maybe three/four lessons of PSHE before. Have never studied it as a subject myself nor taught it. Helpfully, our learning manager (head of year) is off sick so I have no idea what we are meant to be studying today. Manage to kill an hour of time with the kids, luckily it was first thing in the morning...by afternoon they were distinctly more challenging.

Period 2: Year 9. Solving equations. I can't believe that there are 14 year olds that still struggle to solve 3x=18. Crazy D has moved down to set 5. I'm not sure whether to whoop; I have a strange concern for that boy. In his place I have Sulky L. You will know her from numerous temper tantrums last year. She sulked today. It was nice to have her back.

Period 3: Year 10. Setting the rules and expectations. I'm no longer stunned by the size of some of the boys. They can tower over me and I can happily rant away. Again, with this class I am shocked at the low ability. Bear in mind that I sat my maths GCSE in Year 10, whilst these kids are mostly level 4 (as a point of reference, most people at my secondary school achieved a level 5 in maths at 11). When we were playing a bit of warm-up maths bingo, some of the questions would frankly insult my Year 7 set from last year, but when I asked the kids if they were finding it a bit too easy, they all resoundingly said no. And they weren't lying. Going over the answers, only one child out of 26 could tell me the square root of 100, and that was after much prompting. A rather menacing child got himself kicked out within the first 2 minutes of the lesson by refusing to sit in his allocated seat. On the street he would have scared me, but in my classroom I have a comfortable feeling of control. Even when the principal tried to persuade me to take him back in, I declined, stating that such attitudes and lack of respect for learning did not belong in our room. I love being able to stick to my guns, not least because it stops the kids steam-rolling me (in theory anyway).

Period 4: Year 8. All the set lists have been lost so we each had to grab any old 20 kids and kill some time with them. Made up an anagram game, which the kids really got into. No maths to be seen :)

My tutor group made me cross in the afternoon. I wanted to set up some circle time stuff with them, but they were all rather restless so in the end I made them sit in silence. I feel guilty about that now a bit, since clearly all the frustrations of the day were unleashed on them. Hopefully they will learn not to chatter when it's lesson time, then I won't have to do that again. Shame we ended sourly since we had been getting on so well in the morning.

And the last thing on a busy school day - got cornered in the corridor by our principal about inspections. We're being OFSTEDed this term, crumbs. In preparation for this, we're having an inspection by our sponsors. And yes, you guessed it, I will be inspected. I completely freaked out with my subject mentor and department after being told. Inspection chills me, probably because it reminds me of the awful summer term. I hate freaking out in front of people, especially when they know me as calm and controlled, and when there's nothing too much to freak about, I'm sure it'll all be fine. Will have to do more to keep on top of things, can't be messing up so early in the term. I knew I'd be on the list, but I'm still not too psyched by it. I kinda feel that it's another hoop to jump through just because I've jumped well through the ones in the past. Similar I guess to the way that kids stop performing well at school, because they know that success will just lead to more work.

Finally may Rhys Jones rest in peace, along with all the many other young people for whom life was too short. I'm not in the mood to talk about guns and knives, except to say that today my Year 8s in maths were talking about the size of a bullet hole as if this was something cool to discover. Why?

Hey There Delilah

I love Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's. Particularly tunes and words of verse 5...

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way

Delilah I can promise you

That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Found this picture when googling them. Awesome.

The First Proper Day Back

I had a really good day today :)

I think I've remembered why I got into teaching. Three reasons:

• I like being in control
• I like the sound of my own voice
• I like fixing things/people
  

Today I got to do all of these things. I spent most of the day with my tutor group, where I finally got to stamp really control over them. The old adage "don't smile till Christmas" doesn't really work with me since my face acts independently of my head, but I tried to be on the top of my game and jump on all infringements. I told them that I would train them, whether they liked it or not, so they might as well get used to it. Lots of monologuing on my part got my point across I think. And I don't want to speak too soon, but after it all Eight Evil were the best that I've seen them. I think it's cos they realised that they're stuck with me now so they might as well tow the line. Whatever, they're actually pretty ok, even crazy H and J-L (the girl who hated me all of last year). E was a bit clingy and A a bit whiny, but I managed it.

My weirdo year 9s were good too, partly because most of the real nutters from my group's parallel back in Y8 seem to have dropped down a set, and all the ones that came from the set above are fairly normal. No doubt I will have trouble with them at some point, and obviously little D was his usual nutty self, but for the most part I liked that lesson.

This is all a bit weird. I guess it's cos I've forgotten what it's like to be in school. On Friday when I have a 5 period proper day of teaching I will get a bit shaky. But that's ok cos then it's the weekend and so I can have fun :) I'm surprised I guess cos last night I didn't sleep at all, very turbulent dreams, and yet I am only just feeling the fatigue. They were those lucid dreams where you feel like you're in control of what's happening but then you don't understand why you are dreaming what you are. Hope that doesn't happen tonight, it's too much like work. Should be ok though since I hit the gym at half six this morning, so might have been running off the buzz i.e. endorphins and raised metabolism, not dodgy steroids or anything. That should be enough to knacker me out tonight. Reckon I'll do that tomorrow as well.

Well that was all very rambley. Am off now to sort out seating plans and do some sociology work. Can't believe I am teaching them on Friday and I have no idea what's going on!

Unpacking

Have spent most of day 2 unpacking boxes and boxes and boxes of new equipment, and then carting off the rubbish to the school bins. On the plus side the work was pretty mindless and meant that I got to flex my amazing forearms. On the down side I am now completely knackered and haven't sorted out anything for real school tomorrow.

Not looking forward to my first tutoring day with 8E aka "Eight Evil". I think I have put too much pressure on the first day, in that I figure if I screw up tomorrow I will lose them for the whole year. Hopefully it'll be ok....although the class was already pretty mad before H from 7F got moved to my form. He's easily one of the most messed up kids in the year. Woohoo, the more the merrier. I guess I usually perform better if I'm a little nervous, so maybe my butterflies will work in my favour.

After having to spend 3 hours with them (ok, ok, I'm sure it won't be that bad...) I've got my first lesson of the year with my new Y9 set. Essentially this is my Y8 group (grrr) without S (yay!) but with crazy D and also twice as many kids. By kids I mean all the nutters from the equivalent set on the other side of the blocking system. Excellent. Roll on the weekend.

In other news, Science TFer K caught me at a chatty moment and somehow got me to confess all the tales of my summer term trauma. I am now distinctly uneasy that I have divulged too much, particularly since we chatted in the maths block and now patently my whole department will realise I may be a fruit loop. On the plus side here it turns out that she had some dramas of her own, so it's good to hear that I'm not the only one.

I guess I should go and do some work. Except I have no idea what I'm teaching or anything really. I think I will just sit and contemplate it all instead. 193 days to go!

PS Sailing photos on facebook. No longer interested in detailing the drama; time to put it behind us all.

Teacher Training aka Extended Nap Time

Day one of the academic year passed by pretty calmly in comparison to the drama of last week. In fact, at some points, it was positively tedious. I had to do all I could to keep my eyes propped open in the afternoon....by all I could I mean placing my entire 60 kgs on my left foot so that it really rather hurt.

From 9am to 3:30pm we were talked at about all kinds of things that I can't remember. The only bits that stuck were that we all have a lot of work to do, and that we shouldn't tell OFSTED inspectors the first thing that comes to our heads, since more than likely this won't do the school any good. Riiiiight, so is it normal practice to prep staff like this before an inspection?

I have 194 days of teaching to go. Is it bad that I'm counting down already? Ok, ok, some positives. I think I have my own classroom this year! Yippee! Well, I say I think...the maths teacher whose room it was last year is not pleased with this at all. Basically he's a head of year, and my new timetable has me teaching 19 a week, whilst he is only down for 15, so I've been given the room, and he's being made to shuffle through 9 different rooms. Essentially lots of crossness and drama in the staffroom this morning, excellent. Within about an hour of school it felt like we hadn't even been on a break.

This feeling was intensified when we started tidying up the maths office. It's full of supplies for the school move in January...why do we have them now already, hmmm? I was sorting out one part of the room when I flashed back to July when I was doing a very similar thing in a different part of the room. Sigh. What made me most cross about this activity was the amount of waste. We threw away so many perfectly good books and folders and other school paraphernalia. It was just shocking, although I guess the point that the other maths teachers made, that kids won't use second-hand goods, was reasonable in this day and age. I just kept thinking back to when I've been in Africa and India and Sri Lanka, where the kids are so desperate for pens and things, and yet here we are just chucking away so much educational equipment. It brought me down a bit, so I decided to leave them to it. Talk about team player.

In other news, I am spending a lot of time daydreaming, which is good fun. Perhaps the contents of my daydreams would cause controversy with some of you, but no matter, it passes the day. And no, I'm not thinking dodgy things about my children, you're so filthy for considering me capable of that. But even if I was, I'm having a detox this month so I think I deserve a treat.*

*In no way do I condone any kinda dodgy activity with children. Just thought I'd cover my back - sometimes my banter causes trouble!

Pre-school Greece Chatter

I think it was this time last year that I started my blog. A whole year has gone by...where's the time gone, eh? NQT Miss P, rock n roll.

Got back from our sailing week in Greece this afternoon. Even sitting at my desk 5 hours later I have a vague feeling of motion and swaying. And the accompanying nausea of course. Nothing at all to do with the two week hangover I seem to have accumulated.

So the sailing itself was pretty awesome. Like really awesome. A lovely boat, blue seas, sunshine, islands, Greek food and drink, friendly people, the occasional useful wind(!). I loved all of that - hopping from island to island in the Ionian, learning new skills, both sailing and banter-wise. Things were fine until day four - the jinx day for most of our holidays.

To put it mildly there may have been a teeny tiny bit of drama over the holiday. By tiny I mean just ridiculously out of control drama. Perhaps I am even a little emotionally traumatised by it. I would try and explain it all to you, but unless you knew Disney and all the intricacies of our world, it just wouldn't make sense. But honestly, there were parts of this week that were just amazing, and other parts that were so devastating that you couldn't script it if you tried. I wonder if anyone would watch the film version? Anyway, I think Disney as an entity may be a bit broken at the moment, so perhaps I should use the time I would have spent with them this autumn to write my screenplay instead...

I'm exhausted. This does not bode well with the fact that school starts tomorrow and I really don't care. My Facebook horoscope says "no matter how much people try to cheer you up, you're in a funky mood, and you're just fine with that, thank you very much. Alone time is in order". I'm not sure being in a school with 700 people quite counts as alone time.

Fingers crossed for the new term. Sailing highlights to follow in the week, and maybe even some photos!

Greece Baby!

I'm going to Greece tomorrow, yippee!
We're going here:

Lefkas (Levkas, Lefkada, Leucas) is a small Greek island off the north-western coast of the mainland. South of Corfu, north of Ithaca and Cephalonia, Lefkas isn't part of the Cyclades, but instead holds a proximate position to the Preveza Perfecture. As such, Levkas has recently seen a boost in tourism and travel to the area. However, it still remains largely unspoilt. And it's supposed to be wicked sailing out there! Am very excited :) So much so that I'm not too daunted by our crazy check-in time of 0440.

My excitement is only limited by the fact that my crazy Snack Acca is over here from New York with my uncle too. I love her, she's just so funny! Alas she's only here for a week and so I won't get to see her apart from today. Hopefully she'll be back soon to promote her amazing book, which is being released in the spring.


Ok, I don't know that it's actually amazing, but it's based to an extent on the trials and tribulations of my family, so obviously that'll make interesting reading for me! Plus I know all about the different types of marriage, particularly arranged vs love. Weird how those two things are mutually exclusive. Well, not weird, just kinda sad. Anyway, I hope it doesn't lead to some huge family fall-out type thing since we've had more than enough of those thank you very much. You can check the amazon preview here.

You know what though? I just checked the US amazon for her book and there it costs $11.16, but in the UK it costs £12.99! What a shocker, that's more than double the price, how can that be?!

In other news I have finally finished watching Grey's Anatomy seasons 1 & 2, and now am desperate to get hold of season 3. I am also contemplating starting Jade's West Wing collection, but this could be risky since I have to leave for dinner soon (well, in 4 hours, but that's soon in TV land).

Enjoy the last week of the summer holidays, fingers crossed for sunshine!

GCSE Results; Spain Fun; Stephen Fry + Bipolar Disorder

It's GCSE results day. Our kids reached 27% 5 A*-Cs, including English and Maths, which is really pretty great for us! Am even more psyched by the 41% A*-Cs in maths, and the 85% in statistics! Go maths department!

I guess from that last sentence you've figured I'm back in the UK. Spain was heavy. I love JIj, and not just cos of her house in Spain, but also because she is an awesome cook and all round wicked host. We all had an excellent time - sun, pool, drinking, eating, scrabble, all my favourites! Finally, what a holiday's meant to be about. There were 8 of us over there in total: Jij, Sprouse, Mouche, two of Sprouse's chemistry buddies from my college, and two Furies from this year's team. A really stellar bunch, with enough opportunities for drama to keep it interesting :) I particularly liked getting to know the people there that I didn't really know too well before. Heard some stories that you wouldn't believe, although out of respect for the tellers I won't repeat them on here. And when I say respect for the tellers, I mean respect - that's some hardcore stuff some of these people are chatting about. But aside from the stories and all that, we really did have a great time...am gutted my camera batteries ran out, else I could show you the photos from the fun. When will I actually use this camera properly?

Am also gutted to be back in England with all the rain and wind and autumn-ness...what's going on eh? Good thing I'll be away again this weekend :) Busy times ahead...have a wedding tomorrow afternoon, then my cousin and uncle fly in Saturday morning, it's Puja's birthday dinner on Sat night, and then we fly out to Greece before 7am on Sunday morning. Nicey nicey. Will be back the Sunday before school starts...I'm very grateful for the two days of inset!

So, before I pack up for the night, I want to ramble a bit about this excellent documentary we were watching on BBC4 after dinner. It was called Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of a Manic Depressive. Unfortunately we'd missed the first episode of this two-parter, but nevertheless it made very good viewing. The whole thing was extremely insightful, featuring many famous and not-so famous manic depressives, of all ages and places, talking about how they'd been diagnosed, what bipolar disorder had done for their lives, how they'd learnt to cope etc. I didn't even know that Stephen Fry was bipolar, but clearly from the programme, which featured his both manic and depressive episodes, he's not really what you could call a "mild" sufferer. Still, he refuses to take medication, feeling that chemical changes would dull his mental state. It was interesting that when those interviewed were asked whether they'd get rid of their bipolarity entirely if they could, they all said no. I guess the buzz of the mania is just too good. I also found it interesting about the importance of diet, and how one woman claimed she could control her episodes by eating enough oily fish. I wonder if this is true?

Anyway, this programme has got me thinking a bit. I'd like to watch the other part too, just to see what it was all about. Obviously I'm not self-diagnosing myself, that would be too dramatic, heehee, but I think there are parts of this that cut a little close to the bone. Hmmm. I wouldn't really delve into this too much further, except the statistic that one in nine people, when left untreated, commit suicide. Don't worry, that would never happen to me, I'm scared of paper-cuts, let alone slitting my wrists! But on the other hand, I don't really care too much about death, I don't fear it or anything, which perhaps is odd.

Ok, now my rambling is disturbing me, so I will go back to the chatter about Spain and how much fun it was. Oh, except that I discovered that I am capable of jealousy, which was distressing. I wonder now though, can you be jealous of someone when you're not even sure you want what they have?

I'm such a weirdo today. I blame it on the fancy reserve that we had with dinner, it was just too tasty tasty to not be filled with something dodgy. I also think it is weird that I have labeled this post "weird things"...perhaps I too harbour some stigma about mental health and villas in Spain?

A-Level Day

It's A-Level results day. A day of celebrations and commiserations. I remember something about it making or breaking us when I was back at school. Perhaps a little too much emphasis on the significance of it all.

I don't really know what it feels like to collect exam results - I've never done it. They've always been posted to me, and back in the day I was always having too much fun in the summer to worry. Besides, confidence (or naivety) meant any worries I could have had were swiftly neutralised. But no doubt across the country kids today have had that A-Level feeling, sinking or otherwise.

Apparently one in four A-Levels this year was at grade A. I'd hate to join the "dumbing down" crew, but how is this possible? According to the BBC 43.7% of maths A-Level candidates were awarded an A. For the non-mathematicians out there, that's more than two-fifths of all entrants. Not quite the Normal distribution. The biggest gains in performance were in private and grammar schools. No worries though, apparently comprehensives and colleges had the most improved E grades. Nice to see we're all improving on the same level.


I heard a worrying thing today. Edexel are rumoured to be threatening to send the exam performances of teachers to the parents of exam candidates. By that I mean class by class breakdowns of the grades each class achieved through the teaching of their teacher. This is simply awful - how can the entire responsibility of a child's education (by education I mean exam performance...sad that I can equate the two) be pinned upon the teacher? Surely the parents, and, I dunno, maybe even the child himself, should take on some of the liability?

And finally, the other day, when I was a bit hammered, I went and posted bids on eBay for a load of mobile phones. Thankfully I was outbid on all but one of them, for which I duly stumped up the cash. It arrived today but I'm feeling guilty about using it right now because I'm convinced it has been stolen. There are songs and contacts and photos of people and profiles and everything stored on there. Someone's whole "phone" life. I reckon if it was really the seller's phone, he would have deleted all of that stuff himself. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I realise that eBay is the perfect forum for stolen goods. But rather than raising my suspicions with the vendor, or indeed with eBay, I've just deleted all traces of the previous owner. Does that make me a criminal too?

Last day of internship tomorrow, then a bit of viva Espana till Thurs. Will be back with banter then :) See, I can still smile with a guilty conscience.

The Weekend in Food

I have spent the weekend with people who are not my friends. It has been awesome!

Let me qualify that...by "not my friends" I mean people who haven't quite gotten deep down into my strange little world. As such, banter prevails, and thus I am free to invent myself as I wish. I love talking about inconsequential things like war strategies, Scrubs season 6, and the pros and cons of rose wine. I guess when you get close to people these discussions take a new turn.

Since I have been injured with THE KNEE that stops me running and doing other fun exercises, I have got myself a new hobby. Eating.

So the weekend in food:

BBQ on Sat at G's birthday gathering, including chicken kebabs, grilled haloumi, and chocolate creme fraiche with summer berries. Then, laaaater on Sat, pizza and salad. And in the early hours, chips and chicken and pigeon kebab that my brother had got out of the local chippy after chattering in arabic with the owners. Classy.

Lunch on Sun with the lovely A and co. Moroccan chicken with spicy couscous and green leaf salad, followed by apple crumble and cream and custard. Lots of wine too. Laaaater on Sun, BBQ AGAIN at a family friend's birthday thing. Yum yum including banoffee pie, brie stuffed potato skins, spicy jerk chicken, and home made apple chutney.

I am stuffed, and also a bit hammered. Oh dear, it's not a good time for bikini-wearing!

PS Before you get excited, no, I'm not typing this in a bikini...I'm in my pyjamas!

Life in the office

I am half-way through my internship. So far...

Pros:

• finishing at 5pm and not having to think about work
• nowhere near as much stress
• being around adults and recent graduates
• working in the city
• managing my own work
• good people to work with (for the most part)
• exciting ideas

Cons:

• unclear aims and objectives (for my project anyway)
• confusing leadership
• working at a desk by myself all day is BORING!
• laziness + junk food habit
• no sense of achieving anything (well, not as regularly as you feel it in school)
• not doing as much "good"
• limited interaction
• working till 5pm
• commuting on the tube for an hour at peak time
  
• office politics

So far I am not sure what we have really done, but it's good to be exposed to the CSR world. Besides, it's the start of a one-year long project, which sounds like it'll be pretty influential with regards to business-education partnerships, so I will stay positive. But I'm not sure I could do something like this long-term...although I guess I'm not sure about doing anything long-term. Commitment-shy? Oh yes!

Facebook Dependency

Grrr.

I was in the middle of doing some "Facebook Work" when the silly site shut down for maintenance. How annoying! I have four Scrabble games that are awaiting my move. Yes, alright, you can shout geek at me from afar. But really, it is very annoying when the site's down. Almost the same as when you can't get to your email or something takes aaaages to download. Humph. Impatience is a virtue right?

In other news, we had the most awesome picnic on Sunday. I'll post the pictures up from that as soon as I can sneak my bro's camera cable.

Today I definitely realised that I would struggle to work independently in an office. By independently I think I mean "continuously and quietly". On the plus side, I am loving the whole 9-5 malarkey, particularly with the extended 11am and 3:30pm tea breaks, and also the fact that I don't have to do any work or think about work or anything like that as soon as I leave the office. I guess this is what normal worker people feel like.

I am currently spending a lot of time thinking about the future and what I should do after my NQT year. I have many different ideas, none of which seem to be related, or even slightly similar, to each other. The most dramatic one is still graduate entry medicine, but I was reading "The Practitioner" journal on the tube this morning and I wasn't enthused. The whole medical debate is something else I need to blog about at some point. Wow, having a life really does make it difficult to ramble on here. Well, obviously not that difficult - all that needs to happen is Facebook going down.

An Awesome Day

Firstly, apologies for my lack of posting this week. It's officially the summer holidays, and whilst I am working at BITC, frankly I've rediscovered what it's like to live like a normal person, thus not much time for posting. I'm sure you're desperate to find out what I've been up to - more info on the internship etc. tomorrow.

Secondly, I have had a most awesome day. It's all thanks to this at Regent's Park:

And, of course, the lovely Gid and CK, who thoughtfully invited me to tag along with them into the VIP area. Free food and drink and some time to while away in the sunshine is all I need to make me smile. Oh, and Gid's adorable dog Barney. Lots of nice chatter and people watching and generally taking ridiculous advantage of Innocent's generosity (Gid and CK managed to nab 36 free smoothies before we left! 36! Shocker!) We decided against wandering out into the melee, preferring instead to enjoy the live music and cocktail bar in our little bit. Wonderful.

After thoroughly stuffing my stomach and my liver, I popped down to Krazy's party in Notting Hill. This too was a fun affair. I don't know many international people, but this room was FULL of people from overseas. I think I may have been the only one born in the UK. It was great, lots of lovely chatter, a chocolate fountain, more cocktails and Corona's, and a hilarious wannabe stand-up comedian boy from LA, who I thought was gay, but later realised wasn't. Perhaps it was my rather revealing top that changed his mind, heehee. Fun & games indeed.