Naughty naughty

I got home at 1pm today. That was not part of the plan. I think I am officially a filthy-dirty stop-out for the the second day in a row.

Before I start my reflections aka self-ranting on the weekend, just a helpful hint to anyone looking for educational content in this post - there will be none. Except perhaps ideas for a behaviour support plan for myself.

Thursday night - BITC presentation. Might have gone better if I'd actually looked at the presentation any time before 4 minutes to kick-off, but anyhoo. Am pleased with my blagging skills and feel that while the content of my chatter was a bit wayward, the banter kept it entertaining. Drinks after and then slightly tipsy book marking, a good look.

Friday night - Steve's 25th (can't believe people are turning 25!) party at The Loop. This place is a vortex for me, there is just no way I can control myself in there. Not sure the Canadian Club helped. Had a good time with the Curly-Haired one, he makes me laugh. One of the many people I am confusing this weekend, excellent, clearly messing people around is a forte. Needless to say I am not following up on that.

Saturday, absolutely knackered and hungover. Spent most of the day swanning around. Managed to do my ironing and make a "student of the week" poster.

Saturday night - Krazy's birthday at his Notting Hill pad, very nice. Despite best intentions to get there early and get home early, the cheeky glass of wine with a matey beforehand warmed me up nicely and I decided instead to go on the rampage. Luckily Sanju was there to help me feel like my general poor behaviour was not as juvenile/ridiculous as it obviously was. She is such a role model, hahaha. Got on swimmingly with Krazy's sister, told her I was going to marry her little bro (news to her and to Krazy!), and then proceeded to flirt outrageously with her husband's brother. He was tri-lingual, you know I love words and he has three times as many, how could I resist? Before we got too friendly I figured it'd be a good idea to check on Sanju, given that we'd lost her about 2 hours earlier. Found her asleep in a room, and decided I should take a cheeky nap too, since it was probably bad form to fall asleep on the boy. Woke up in a minor panic at about 6am, when I realised the bedroom had got mighty cosy with two more entrants, and also that I was wearing someone else's top. Denial was the only option, just shut my eyes and went back to sleep. Still can't remember much of the night, except that I know I had a dance-off, that I got cross with some boys about something, that Sanju wouldn't let me go to the loo by myself (not because I was incapable, but because she was being a weirdo), and that Krazy called his maid at about 9 in the morning to come and fix the disaster zone (that made me laugh, he is so pampered!)

Sanju and I had a nice brunch in Notting Hill, was delicious, particularly because there was no way any of my kids would walk past and shout "Miiiiisssss!!!" through the door. Then we went to Portobello market, accidentally spent too much money, oh well. Right I am bored of this now. I am going back to bed to reflect on my whirlwindyness. The right thing to do this weekend would have been resting and relaxing. Whoops. Also, I don't think I actually feel that bad about all this, given the slightly comical spin I have given the title of the post. Come on now Miss, be serious.

Marking

It's 10:15pm and I'm about to start marking 27 year 9 maths books. This may take me more than two hours.

I've just got back after the BITC presentation, and, crucially, the post-work drinks :) Some interesting stuff there, the perfect end to a day of good teaching and school-based drama. I think I'll be glad it's Friday tomorrow.

So, to work.

This Blog is kinda like a Pensieve

I am too busy. Almost to the point where if I think of all the things I have to do, I get dizzy. Thus I have decided it is therapeutic to blog for ten minutes so that I can get rid of lots of things from my head and so give me more space to process new things.

Firstly then, lots of drama in my classes. Have had three girls who, in separate incidents, absolutely lost their marbles with me. I'm coping well with all the negative emotion, phew, deep breath, let it go. At least they may have felt better just raging at me. Anyway, today I had one face-to-face apology, one written letter of apology, and one girl who tried so damn hard in the lesson to make up for it that I let some of it go. Not sure what's been happening with the kids, maybe they're just testing the boundaries?

Last night I went to a TF event on personal presentation. The woman hosting it was a wee bit odd, but I liked that. It was at Freshfields, but since there were no coaches or external "adult" contact type people there, the drinks and nibbles were noticeably absent. Boo. Anyway, the woman made lots of interesting and excellent points on first impressions, self reflection, values, strengths, weaknesses, and something called The Life Balance Wheel (I didn't really get this bit). I gave my tutor group the highlights of it today during an impromptu tutor time - they were quick off the mark, suggesting that people judge on appearance and how they are acting. One of them even pointed out that what you say isn't that important, it's more about how you say it. I was pleased with their thinking.

The woman also mentioned a coupla psychological concepts. The first was leakage whereby your body language gives away what you're really thinking and feeling regardless of what your mouth is saying. The second was the Reticular Activation System (RAS), which sounds like gobbledygook to me, but anyway...it's this thing whereby once you're thinking about something, you notice it more and more because your brain filters out lots of irrelevant things so you focus more on what you're interested in. For example, my father is always thinking about some car or other, and in the weeks leading up to when he actually buys the car, he will see the desired car everywhere, and will remark upon this very point. Similarly then, if you focus on the positives, you become a more positive person.

The last thing that interested me was the work values survey. Very important values to me: creativity, recognition, helping others and society, time freedom, competition, persuading people. Important values to me: learning new things, making decisions, risk, being an expert, pressure, communication, independence, challenge, variety, fast pace, community. Lots of things there. Upon reflection, it seems that teaching can offer me most of these things. Strange that!

What else? Well, my right hamstring is still sore, which means no physical activity, boo. Have SO MUCH marking to do. BITC business-education presentation tomorrow night, minor panic there since I can't view the presentation or remember the case studies, so no idea what I'm supposed to be saying! Have a full day of lessons to plan tomorrow, not sure what I'm teaching there either. Great.

And finally, in the tiny spare bit of thought I have left, well, it's full of people. No, not people, just one person. Ever had it when you've got someone in your head and you just can't get them out? In your head, under your skin, whatever you want to call it. I don't even know how they got there, they just kinda sneaked (snuck?) in and now I am all whirlwindy. This is alarming, I never thought I'd get distracted in this way again. I can't even do anything about it, it's very frustrating. Although now I have written all of this, I have more space in my head to contemplate.

Haha, what a good vague ramble, my favourite type! I'll leave you with two quotes from the presentation woman that I used with my kids today...

None of us is smarter than all of us.

Attitude is infectious - is yours worth catching?

Winding up the kids!

I feel a bit weird. Kinda tired but wired at the same time. Just been playing the piano, I think it drained my brain. On the plus side, have marked all my Y10 books :) But I have pulled my hamstring, which is no good.

Want an early night tonight, have a busy day tomorrow...excitement includes a department meeting and a TF event on "Personal Presentation", Obviously my personal presentation is awesome, but there'll be snacks there, so it'll be worth it.

Today I wound up my Y12 sociology group big time, it was lots of fun. We're studying theories of class and educational achievement. They all get deeply offended whenever anyone suggests anything negative about the working class, or about ethnic minorities. This happens all the time in the Education module, so we have regular riots.

In the lesson we looked at theories of material deprivation and cultural capital. Lots of outrage ensued when I suggested that working class families had fewer resources for their children, which may lead to lower initial ability and motivation. It got worse when I suggested that middle class families cared more about education and wanted to keep their children within middle class social groups, and also that schools are middle-class institutions based on the values, principles and methods of the middle classes, making it easier for them to succeed. Cue lots of angry outbursts such as "just cos my family are working class doesn't mean they don't care about education - I'm here now aren't I?" and then sullen looks. Heehee. Just to push them a little further, I brought up Herrnstein and Murray's Bell Curve - the idea that certain groups fare better in society because of their intelligence, which itself is fundamentally genetically determined i.e. some groups are more affluent because the genes of their race promote superior intelligence. They loved this theory, in that it was so ridiculous to them that it sealed the idea that sociological theories of class and educational achievement are all a load of bull.

Good, I am glad I am conveying the learning well.

And finally, my little brother is back from Tanzania. He brought me this back from Zanzibar. If only I was that revolutionary.

And a bit more...

I have planned one lesson, yay! Well, technically I've written up the plan for a lesson I've already taught, but that's a minor technicality. Right now I'm playing with my new MP3 player anyway, so I'm pleased I've actually managed to do one plan.

Just remembered this quote, Vernon Kay on Radio 1 from this morning: "if you like it, do it; if you don't like it, do it, you might like it". Interesting, I may well do that.

And this is the song that I like the most for this week....The Pigeon Detectives, Take Her Back. Also Estelle's new track, Just a Touch, but can't find a link for that. It's awesome though, excellent lyrics. Jij could be this good though, I know it.

22:06 Update

Lessons planned :) Except for my Y9s. But I don't see them until Tuesday, so that's ok. Loaded up a lot of tracks to my MP3 player. New headphones very good and secure. Player is nice and light, easy to use, reasonable storage. Miss my old player though. That had a massive capacity, plus a playlist function (I thought this new one did, but it doesn't seem to), and you could search through the tracks by artist and genre and amount played etc. but I can't do that on this one either. The most annoying thing is the number of albums I've lost that I used to listen to all the time e.g The Kooks, Amy Winehouse, The Lighthouse Family, KT Tunstall etc. Serves me right for pirating music I guess.

What else? Well, wide-awake, shocker. And thinking about some rather controversial things. Oh I hope it doesn't all go pear-shaped. On the other side though, no risk no reward.

Mega-Tidying!

Sunday afternoon. I have procrastinated enough, time to lesson plan. Ok, in five minutes.

This morning I woke up at 8am and couldn't go back to sleep. This was very annoying since I only got about 4 hours sleep last night, and have a rather shocking sleep debt from the week to pay off. But, despite trying hard to stay in bed, I couldn't. I decided it was time to tidy up my room. Ruthless. Lots of things got thrown away/"demoted" from having a presence in my room. I tidied up both my wardrobes too and sorted out all my tops into categories (Puja, you would be proud!). Then I worked on the the hundreds of books around the room. They are now in neat piles, but on the floor. I contemplated whether to get a bookshelf or not, but then decided it would be tricky to order a bookshelf when a) there is no space for one without ripping out the fitted sections of the room and b) my credit card is blocked out after repeated attempts to guess the pin (it was one of those nights when I was sure to get it right the next time, but alas they only gave me three chances).

Moving from here, I wandered downstairs. I think my mother may have been cross with me for my poor show last night, since there were a gaggle of aunties already in the living room (it was only 10am). Usually turning up in boxers all bleary-eyed for breakfast would be a no-no, but part of the family dynamic is that shame is a good punishment, so to repent for the night before I did my duty and sat with the aunties and did the chatter. What with having tidied up after the party last night and doing the chatter in the morning, well, I think I am back in the good books.

What else? Had a nice piano lesson and completed a full pelt work-out, mainly to neutralise the last two days of wickedness and also to stop myself getting too wired. Sweated out all the alcohol in the sauna (hopefully!) and am now contemplating the lesson planning. If only my enthusiasm for tidying could be replicated for this task. Again, try as I might, I can't push myself to do this. Cup of tea time :)

Saturday night update

It's pretty late, I should be in bed. I need the sleep for all the work I have to do tomorrow. Work doesn't always mean bad things. For example, I think of piano lessons and gym sessions as work, and I have to do both of those tomorrow, but I like them. However, there is some work that I definitely don't like that I also have to do tomorrow. Lesson planning, yuck. GS Leadership Log, double yuck. Education - Business presentation, triple yuck. If I didn't have to do all the extra work that is associated with the whole TF experience, I'd only be on one yuck, instead of six. Some nice algebra there.

Still, mustn't complain, currently I feel like I can battle all this work, complete it all, tick it off the list, and then spend time gloating and being satisfied that my "to do" list is done. I like this feeling.

In other news then, the inspection, well, terrible. Was 10 mins late for the lesson with my mad Y7s. The groups hadn't been set yet and so it was entirely mixed ability, except by mixed I mean on the one hand kids that can add 7 to a number, and on the other, kids that can barely count or spell the word number. Inspector went to hell and back with his post-lesson chatter. Essentially I think I flopped because I just don't know the kids yet, I don't know where to pitch the level, I don't know who is capable of what, or where to provide extra support. I'd only taught that class four times previously, there were 31 kids in the group anyway, and as a final excuse, well, I had no information on them and we hadn't had a formal maths lesson yet, so of course it wasn't going to be perfect. Still, it felt bad not to have a good opportunity to show off my potential.

Crazy H in my tutor group is being excluded for 3 days next week. His latest offences include kicking other students, threatening to burgle the house of an LSA, and bringing hardcore pornography into lessons. Bless him. I just want to hug him since he's an angel with me and cares about how Spurs are doing. He's really messed up and there's no-one really there to help him. Sad as it sounds, I can't see him lasting to Y11 at this rate.

This morning I woke up with a cracking hangover. The older I get the worse they are. Even if I don't drink that much. Last night was great, lots of good times with various TFers over the night, plus bumped into two old friends too, what are the chances? Obviously today was written off, except I did manage to get some tat for the kids as prizes for next week. Scented highlighters, glitter pens, and lollipops...surely that is incentive enough to try and stay off report all week?

And finally, I missed most of a dinner party tonight, naughty naughty. Was out drinking with the Furies, which I loved for the most part. It's not the same though, there's just too many rocks beneath the waves for it all to flow smoothly. I dunno, I don't want to waste too much emotion on it all, it's time to cut lose and leave it to mend itself. It's weird though, I can feel myself actively pulling away, it's sad, these people were my good friends, but now I find it hard to imagine ever having again what we had had.

So, to bed I guess. To ponder. To ponder is to dream, right? Or have I got that wrong...

Whirlwindy

Helllooooo!

I am alive, have just been crazy busy with:

• inspections (oh dear, don't ask)
  
• marking
• getting older (and not wiser)
• TF events
• my naughty form group, in particular crazy "H"
• breaking up fights
• shouting at kids (husky voice anyone?)
  
• coaching footy (awesome new Y7 players)
  
• chewing gum detentions
• wedding receptions (still not mine, despite the best efforts of my folks!)
  
• staff meetings
• playing scrabulous (gosh, I'm addicted I think!)

Will give you an update on the weekend, hope you are all well and less "whirlwindy" than me.

Lunchtime chaos

It's Saturday. I am lesson planning. Well, technically, I've not started yet, but at some point today I intend to plan some lessons. In case it's not already been mentioned, we're being inspected on Monday and Tuesday. This is causing muchos chaos in the school. Further, I know I say it all the time, but once again for luck...I hate lesson planning. Especially when I have to miss, not just one, but two weddings so that I can work today. Booooo.

On Friday there was a huge fight at lunchtime involving Y8, Y10 and Y11 boys. I don't know exactly what happened or why, but it was pretty scary stuff. I was standing in the playground outside the maths block telling off some weirdo girls from my Y10 maths group. They were pointing bananas in the face of the younger kids, who were fasting for Ramadan. That's pretty cruel and unnecessary in my book. Anyway, as I was reprimanding them, they interrupted and said "Miss, you should probably be more worried about the fight than the bananas." I turned around and saw kids streaming into the canteen. Within seconds, there was a hysteria across the playground as children started shouting and whooping and storming into the school. Literally maybe 200 ran past and rushed the school. It was out of control. It took me about 5 seconds of just standing there as kids ran past before I woke up and thought I'd better try and do something. I stood in front of one door and started yelling at the on-comers to stop what they were doing. Around this time a load of teachers appeared from the staffroom and started evacuating the canteen and blocking the other doors to stop kids going in. So kids started pouring out of the school and instead charged towards the order end of the building. Soon there were about 100 kids coming through the other way, and boys being restrained by the main entrance. The little Y7s just looked stunned and some got knocked about as the kids were ushered back outside again. Luckily the bell rang for lessons and so things settled down a bit, although my Y9 class after lunch were pretty hyped up. My throat is still sore this morning from all the shouting.

I've seen this kind of stuff a few times at school, but really, when they realise their collective power, it's scary, really scary. There are a lot more of them than us, and some students really don't care about hurting other people. For a time (a very short time but still) it was mob rule in school and we were powerless. I wonder what the inspectors would say about that?

More tough stuff

One of my Y10 students threw a ruler at me today. In my classroom. During my lesson. Whilst my back was turned. Little monster.

We are being inspected on Monday and Tuesday. Hours and hours of paperwork etc. need to be sorted before then.

I have a glorious headache. The kind that increases when you bend to pick something up.

I'm going swimming.

Drama Day

Taught three lessons today. Plenty of drama to go around.

Lesson 1: Year 7 (the x half of the year) were meant to complete their initial assessment test. First 15 minutes all good. Then one of the lads from my tutor group knocks on the door. "Miss, none of our class know where we're supposed to be for lesson 1". Oh dear. Leave my class for 5 minutes while I pop over to the main school. Lo and behold there are two Year 8 groups without teachers or classrooms milling about in the main corridor. Was surprised that things hadn't kicked off already; give them 5 more minutes and trouble would definitely start. One of the SLT is there trying to sort them out. She says she desperately needs the SLT chap in charge of timetabling. He's currently teaching in the room opposite where I am so I offer to briefly cover his room while he sorts out these kids. Obviously this takes up the whole lesson and he's not seen until break. Sooo, back in the maths block I am switching between my Year 7 maths test and the Year 7 science lesson next door. In the science lesson I have the kids drawing the equipment from their last lesson experiment and writing up methods. Have my eye on the other class too. Suddenly I hear a yell. Step back into my maths room and two boys are having a fight in the middle of the room. Excellent. Sort all that out and order them back in at lunch time for detention. When I return to the science class, one of the boys has managed to catch his trousers on a chair and is now causing a nice little scene. More fun.

Period 2 is spent sorting out the incident sheets for the fight and then trying to fix my tutor group documentation.

Period 3: Year 10. That kid, A, is back in my class. He saunters in late, uniform a mess, no stationery. Finally get him to open up his book. Lots of back chat so I ask him to leave the room to calm down. He comes back in and settles a bit, although he is still trying to push the boundaries. End of the lesson he thrusts his red report card in my face. "Sign it," he demands. How rude! I begin my lecture on politeness and how he is meant to put his report card on my desk at the start of the lesson. He starts kicking off, and then, the final straw. "You won't sign my report because I'm black and you don't like that". I am still so cross that he's said this that I have nothing more to say.

Period 4 was spent fuming and sorting out incident reports for him and another rather less naughty boy from that class.

Lunchtime: manage my detainees and plan for the afternoon, whilst trying to ignore day's drama so far. Also call the annoyed mother of a boy in my tutor group - he is studying Urdu when he asked to be in Spanish. Urdu?! Walk down the stairs and am about to leave the maths block. See a kid's head fly into the main door, and then two boys tearing pieces out of each other. Struggle to get the door open, but thankfully another teacher appears and yanks them apart.

Period 5: Year 9s after lunch woulda been trouble, but actually they were good as gold.

Tutor time: also manageable, despite issuing them with spelling lists! I vow to get my form under control. Have to keep one behind for constant talking.

And finally, just when I think I can get out of there, I check my pigeon hole. Three incident sheets for crazy H. I haven't seen him since morning registration, but clearly he has been causing trouble. Bunking lessons, calling teachers "pr*cks and bullsh*t, and my personal favourite....hiding in bushes and refusing to come out to go to lessons. We have no Head of Year at the moment so I have no clue what I'm supposed to do to sort him out.

It's a good thing I love drama.

My horoscope today:

The solar eclipse in Virgo suggests major life changes are imminent for many Virgos. You cannot remain the same and events from as long ago as 2003 are finally being sorted out. Don't try to tread the middle ground. The energy of these times says you have to come off the fence and make choices. So far this year you've been pulled from pillar to post, seemingly at the mercy of unpredictable changes. But you have a chance to break the mould, throw it away and begin again. It's time to take some small chances.

That all sounds fun doesn't it? My favourite bit is "the energy of these times". Right.

More horoscopes + the dread

I hardly slept last night. I'd like to think it was because I was in "weekend mode". But I think really it was because I was dreading school today. All night and before school I was just dreading going there. But, after running a healthy 4km by 7am, well, I was up for it a bit more. And, actually, school was wonderful. All the usual drama (and then some!) but I kept my cool. By the end of the day I was finding it hard to imagine not being there. Essentially switching from one extreme to the other in 24 hours. A bit of bipolarity applied to school-life. Gotta keep it interesting.

But then I read my horoscope in the free Daily Mail I picked up in the gym.

The coming two days are some of the most important in the year, with some difficult but necessary decisions to be made. Have a detached and objective look at the past week or so and ask yourself what - or who - you can let go of. See it as some necessary weeding and pruning so the future can come in without having to negotiate worn-out emotional baggage. The key words for you at the moment are effectiveness and efficiency. Functionality is another and suggests new beginnings. But that's tomorrow.

Scary? I think so. This is the kind of ominous horoscope that leaves me wanting to hide in my bed all day tomorrow, listening to the Greatest Hits of the Lighthouse Family, Sade, John Legend and Texas. Except I can't because my silly MP3 player is still broken. So I will have to start up that whole dread thing again. Am so bored of that.

In the world of Hollyoaks, Sarah found out about Craig and John-Paul today. So dramatic, it was awesome! What on earth will happen now? I thought it was weird how easy everyone found it to pick sides. Although, upon reflection, I guess it was pretty clear whose side everyone would be on. I guess our own world isn't so black and white.

And lastly I took this article in to show my Y12 sociology group. They loved it.

Scary Horoscope

Just read my horoscope for the week. Scary....

"Concentrating on you and your needs is challenging at the best of times, but it will be particularly tricky this week. On the one hand, Tuesday’s Virgo eclipsed New Moon marks a period of deep personal reflection. On the other, the combination of this and late August’s lunar eclipse brings chaos around you, and you’re worried things need to be attended to. They can wait. In fact, they must wait until you’ve had a chance to give serious thought to whether it’s time to alter or simply abandon certain plans. Only once you know what’s staying should you even consider responding to the changes around you."

Read your Sunday Times Horoscope here.

The Weekend

Blah. It's Sunday. You know what that means....lesson planning. I figured out what I hate about teaching - all the stuff that isn't actually interacting with the kids in school. By that I mean planning, assessment, recording, reporting...bureaucracy. This probably sounds strange to those of you who know how well I love a good plan. I think lesson plans are different, mainly because I don't like teaching maths and the plans just lead to more plans.

It's almost 6pm. Our lunch guests left a short while ago after a booze fuelled feast. I have managed 7 days now on the detox; it's going well, but my target date is 5th October, which is FAAAAAAAR away. My family are being very weird about this. Last night we were at a family 21st and my mother asked me why I wasn't drinking. I explained the detox. She looked horrified. "Don't do that, you will only have a binge when you can drink again. It's better to drink a little bit each day rather than save it all up". She knows me well. My father's approach is rather different. We don't really do aperitifs in my house, preferring to hit the hard stuff straight. So at 12:50pm when our guests arrived, out came the big guns. "Whisky or brandy?," he asks. When I respond that a coke is fine, I get shocked looks from not just him, but my relatives as well. They proceed to demolish a bottle of whisky and three quarters of brandy. The Baileys and sherry also get a look in. Just after pudding the talk turns to an upcoming wedding between my cousin and her Muslim boyfriend. The concern here is that there will be no alcohol at the reception. My father and uncle put their heads together and decide that they will shoulder the responsibility of setting up a secret car park bar. Problem solved.

On Friday night we had a maths department curry, which was tasty tasty. Staying away from the Cobra meant that I could actually finish off my meal. However, I am concerned that I have just swapped drinking for food, a new addiction for me. My HoD remarked that he was thought I was a nice responsible girl until the Christmas drinks, where I went a little bit wild. It's a strange idea we all seem to have about drink...I can't figure out if people want me to drink or not.

During that dinner I heard two awesome stories from colleagues. One teacher told us all about how he'd ran a "bring a granny to the opera" programme when he was in charge of a youth centre. Each hoodie had to dress up nicely and invite a senior citizen to the opera. On the night 50 kids and seniors turned up at the ROH, everyone acting the perfect lady/gentleman. Woulda loved to have seen that! Another teacher told us about how she and three other teachers had been on a camping trip with some kids and had got so hammered during the night that they'd decided to hurl the kids' breakfasts at their tents! Imagine it, 30 eggs and sausages lobbed at sleeping children! In the morning one child was convinced that someone had been throwing eggs at him in the night. "Don't be so silly; it was probably a bad dream, " was the response. Shocking.

Aarrrgh I hate planning so much. Why am I doing this again?

Thursday Ramble

Period 1: PSHE with my form. Have observed maybe three/four lessons of PSHE before. Have never studied it as a subject myself nor taught it. Helpfully, our learning manager (head of year) is off sick so I have no idea what we are meant to be studying today. Manage to kill an hour of time with the kids, luckily it was first thing in the morning...by afternoon they were distinctly more challenging.

Period 2: Year 9. Solving equations. I can't believe that there are 14 year olds that still struggle to solve 3x=18. Crazy D has moved down to set 5. I'm not sure whether to whoop; I have a strange concern for that boy. In his place I have Sulky L. You will know her from numerous temper tantrums last year. She sulked today. It was nice to have her back.

Period 3: Year 10. Setting the rules and expectations. I'm no longer stunned by the size of some of the boys. They can tower over me and I can happily rant away. Again, with this class I am shocked at the low ability. Bear in mind that I sat my maths GCSE in Year 10, whilst these kids are mostly level 4 (as a point of reference, most people at my secondary school achieved a level 5 in maths at 11). When we were playing a bit of warm-up maths bingo, some of the questions would frankly insult my Year 7 set from last year, but when I asked the kids if they were finding it a bit too easy, they all resoundingly said no. And they weren't lying. Going over the answers, only one child out of 26 could tell me the square root of 100, and that was after much prompting. A rather menacing child got himself kicked out within the first 2 minutes of the lesson by refusing to sit in his allocated seat. On the street he would have scared me, but in my classroom I have a comfortable feeling of control. Even when the principal tried to persuade me to take him back in, I declined, stating that such attitudes and lack of respect for learning did not belong in our room. I love being able to stick to my guns, not least because it stops the kids steam-rolling me (in theory anyway).

Period 4: Year 8. All the set lists have been lost so we each had to grab any old 20 kids and kill some time with them. Made up an anagram game, which the kids really got into. No maths to be seen :)

My tutor group made me cross in the afternoon. I wanted to set up some circle time stuff with them, but they were all rather restless so in the end I made them sit in silence. I feel guilty about that now a bit, since clearly all the frustrations of the day were unleashed on them. Hopefully they will learn not to chatter when it's lesson time, then I won't have to do that again. Shame we ended sourly since we had been getting on so well in the morning.

And the last thing on a busy school day - got cornered in the corridor by our principal about inspections. We're being OFSTEDed this term, crumbs. In preparation for this, we're having an inspection by our sponsors. And yes, you guessed it, I will be inspected. I completely freaked out with my subject mentor and department after being told. Inspection chills me, probably because it reminds me of the awful summer term. I hate freaking out in front of people, especially when they know me as calm and controlled, and when there's nothing too much to freak about, I'm sure it'll all be fine. Will have to do more to keep on top of things, can't be messing up so early in the term. I knew I'd be on the list, but I'm still not too psyched by it. I kinda feel that it's another hoop to jump through just because I've jumped well through the ones in the past. Similar I guess to the way that kids stop performing well at school, because they know that success will just lead to more work.

Finally may Rhys Jones rest in peace, along with all the many other young people for whom life was too short. I'm not in the mood to talk about guns and knives, except to say that today my Year 8s in maths were talking about the size of a bullet hole as if this was something cool to discover. Why?

Hey There Delilah

I love Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's. Particularly tunes and words of verse 5...

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way

Delilah I can promise you

That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Found this picture when googling them. Awesome.

The First Proper Day Back

I had a really good day today :)

I think I've remembered why I got into teaching. Three reasons:

• I like being in control
• I like the sound of my own voice
• I like fixing things/people
  

Today I got to do all of these things. I spent most of the day with my tutor group, where I finally got to stamp really control over them. The old adage "don't smile till Christmas" doesn't really work with me since my face acts independently of my head, but I tried to be on the top of my game and jump on all infringements. I told them that I would train them, whether they liked it or not, so they might as well get used to it. Lots of monologuing on my part got my point across I think. And I don't want to speak too soon, but after it all Eight Evil were the best that I've seen them. I think it's cos they realised that they're stuck with me now so they might as well tow the line. Whatever, they're actually pretty ok, even crazy H and J-L (the girl who hated me all of last year). E was a bit clingy and A a bit whiny, but I managed it.

My weirdo year 9s were good too, partly because most of the real nutters from my group's parallel back in Y8 seem to have dropped down a set, and all the ones that came from the set above are fairly normal. No doubt I will have trouble with them at some point, and obviously little D was his usual nutty self, but for the most part I liked that lesson.

This is all a bit weird. I guess it's cos I've forgotten what it's like to be in school. On Friday when I have a 5 period proper day of teaching I will get a bit shaky. But that's ok cos then it's the weekend and so I can have fun :) I'm surprised I guess cos last night I didn't sleep at all, very turbulent dreams, and yet I am only just feeling the fatigue. They were those lucid dreams where you feel like you're in control of what's happening but then you don't understand why you are dreaming what you are. Hope that doesn't happen tonight, it's too much like work. Should be ok though since I hit the gym at half six this morning, so might have been running off the buzz i.e. endorphins and raised metabolism, not dodgy steroids or anything. That should be enough to knacker me out tonight. Reckon I'll do that tomorrow as well.

Well that was all very rambley. Am off now to sort out seating plans and do some sociology work. Can't believe I am teaching them on Friday and I have no idea what's going on!

Unpacking

Have spent most of day 2 unpacking boxes and boxes and boxes of new equipment, and then carting off the rubbish to the school bins. On the plus side the work was pretty mindless and meant that I got to flex my amazing forearms. On the down side I am now completely knackered and haven't sorted out anything for real school tomorrow.

Not looking forward to my first tutoring day with 8E aka "Eight Evil". I think I have put too much pressure on the first day, in that I figure if I screw up tomorrow I will lose them for the whole year. Hopefully it'll be ok....although the class was already pretty mad before H from 7F got moved to my form. He's easily one of the most messed up kids in the year. Woohoo, the more the merrier. I guess I usually perform better if I'm a little nervous, so maybe my butterflies will work in my favour.

After having to spend 3 hours with them (ok, ok, I'm sure it won't be that bad...) I've got my first lesson of the year with my new Y9 set. Essentially this is my Y8 group (grrr) without S (yay!) but with crazy D and also twice as many kids. By kids I mean all the nutters from the equivalent set on the other side of the blocking system. Excellent. Roll on the weekend.

In other news, Science TFer K caught me at a chatty moment and somehow got me to confess all the tales of my summer term trauma. I am now distinctly uneasy that I have divulged too much, particularly since we chatted in the maths block and now patently my whole department will realise I may be a fruit loop. On the plus side here it turns out that she had some dramas of her own, so it's good to hear that I'm not the only one.

I guess I should go and do some work. Except I have no idea what I'm teaching or anything really. I think I will just sit and contemplate it all instead. 193 days to go!

PS Sailing photos on facebook. No longer interested in detailing the drama; time to put it behind us all.

Teacher Training aka Extended Nap Time

Day one of the academic year passed by pretty calmly in comparison to the drama of last week. In fact, at some points, it was positively tedious. I had to do all I could to keep my eyes propped open in the afternoon....by all I could I mean placing my entire 60 kgs on my left foot so that it really rather hurt.

From 9am to 3:30pm we were talked at about all kinds of things that I can't remember. The only bits that stuck were that we all have a lot of work to do, and that we shouldn't tell OFSTED inspectors the first thing that comes to our heads, since more than likely this won't do the school any good. Riiiiight, so is it normal practice to prep staff like this before an inspection?

I have 194 days of teaching to go. Is it bad that I'm counting down already? Ok, ok, some positives. I think I have my own classroom this year! Yippee! Well, I say I think...the maths teacher whose room it was last year is not pleased with this at all. Basically he's a head of year, and my new timetable has me teaching 19 a week, whilst he is only down for 15, so I've been given the room, and he's being made to shuffle through 9 different rooms. Essentially lots of crossness and drama in the staffroom this morning, excellent. Within about an hour of school it felt like we hadn't even been on a break.

This feeling was intensified when we started tidying up the maths office. It's full of supplies for the school move in January...why do we have them now already, hmmm? I was sorting out one part of the room when I flashed back to July when I was doing a very similar thing in a different part of the room. Sigh. What made me most cross about this activity was the amount of waste. We threw away so many perfectly good books and folders and other school paraphernalia. It was just shocking, although I guess the point that the other maths teachers made, that kids won't use second-hand goods, was reasonable in this day and age. I just kept thinking back to when I've been in Africa and India and Sri Lanka, where the kids are so desperate for pens and things, and yet here we are just chucking away so much educational equipment. It brought me down a bit, so I decided to leave them to it. Talk about team player.

In other news, I am spending a lot of time daydreaming, which is good fun. Perhaps the contents of my daydreams would cause controversy with some of you, but no matter, it passes the day. And no, I'm not thinking dodgy things about my children, you're so filthy for considering me capable of that. But even if I was, I'm having a detox this month so I think I deserve a treat.*

*In no way do I condone any kinda dodgy activity with children. Just thought I'd cover my back - sometimes my banter causes trouble!

Pre-school Greece Chatter

I think it was this time last year that I started my blog. A whole year has gone by...where's the time gone, eh? NQT Miss P, rock n roll.

Got back from our sailing week in Greece this afternoon. Even sitting at my desk 5 hours later I have a vague feeling of motion and swaying. And the accompanying nausea of course. Nothing at all to do with the two week hangover I seem to have accumulated.

So the sailing itself was pretty awesome. Like really awesome. A lovely boat, blue seas, sunshine, islands, Greek food and drink, friendly people, the occasional useful wind(!). I loved all of that - hopping from island to island in the Ionian, learning new skills, both sailing and banter-wise. Things were fine until day four - the jinx day for most of our holidays.

To put it mildly there may have been a teeny tiny bit of drama over the holiday. By tiny I mean just ridiculously out of control drama. Perhaps I am even a little emotionally traumatised by it. I would try and explain it all to you, but unless you knew Disney and all the intricacies of our world, it just wouldn't make sense. But honestly, there were parts of this week that were just amazing, and other parts that were so devastating that you couldn't script it if you tried. I wonder if anyone would watch the film version? Anyway, I think Disney as an entity may be a bit broken at the moment, so perhaps I should use the time I would have spent with them this autumn to write my screenplay instead...

I'm exhausted. This does not bode well with the fact that school starts tomorrow and I really don't care. My Facebook horoscope says "no matter how much people try to cheer you up, you're in a funky mood, and you're just fine with that, thank you very much. Alone time is in order". I'm not sure being in a school with 700 people quite counts as alone time.

Fingers crossed for the new term. Sailing highlights to follow in the week, and maybe even some photos!