Holiday time!

I'm back! After being a bit slack with the ol' blog, I'm making a new effort to update more regularly. This will be easier in approximately one month's time, when I go back up to Oxford, as then I should hopefully be a wee bit more free, and life may be off more interest to you. Heehee, it's obviously always of interest to me :)

We've been doing lots of Tamil-type stuff this weekend - hosting some Tamil concert singers and then a wedding today. It's been quite full on, but good fun, and good feasting too! My mum is an excellent good and yesterday lunch was awesome (in particular tamarind rice and fried fish, yum yum!).

In other news, I am finally unemployed! Well, I have one day outstanding of consultancy work at MyBnk, but apart from that I won't be working again until around Christmas time, and then only if I need to. I guess I will need to as this MSc is costing loads of money - uni fees and college fees alone come to about six grand, which is a third of a year's NQT salary, yikes!

On Wednesday I am off to Vancouver for a little holiday, should be awesome, I can' wait! Have been browsing my guidebooks so we should have an action-packed time over there. I especially want to visit the aquarium, the museum of anthropology, and also the beach and gulf islands. Yeah, holiday!

I'll leave you with this article, which made me laugh, and has also given me yet another thing that I'm interested in researching - the public's attitude to state education. The author of this piece seems like one of the may people who view education as glorified baby-sitting. I love how she complains about what to do with her kids in the summer and how she wouldn't know what to do with them if she had to have them around any longer. Take a minute for the poor teachers who spend all year with them! My favourite line is towards the end, when she starts harping on about how the government should have more discipline when it comes to the scheduling of the school year - maybe she should have some discipline over her teenagers, then she wouldn't be so resentful over their summer activities!

Last day of term. Err, I mean work.

Woo hoo! It's Friday! And it's about to be Bank Holiday weekend! Woo hoo!

It's my last day at my temping job too, so really I feel like it's holiday time! I've conveniently forgotten that I've got one more week of work after the weekend (but that's at a social enterprise company - MyBnk - and it's to do with teaching type stuff, so that could be interesting).

I'm house-sitting at the moment out in Goldhawk Road with Mouche, which is ace fun, it's so cool to have some space and live a bit more independently. The flat is beautiful and really cosy with loads of books and CDs and stuff like that. AND it's a garden flat, so sitting out in the sun yesterday with cups of tea was wonderful.

Apart from that I've been pretty busy seeing people and just having summer fun, apart from the complete lack of sun of course. I can't remember if I mentioned that I went on the ward round last week, which was super interesting, and sad. After that I felt like becoming a psychiatrist, but this week there have been so many bonkers incidents that I don't think I could do it after all.

Last point of note - there's a cat called Stripey Pants, which is really used to the house we're sitting at, and just comes in and stuff, and yesterday I totally freaked out and thought it was coming to get me. Usually I like cats, I mean, I'm not super touchy-feely with them, but still, I get on with them. But yesterday I couldn't bear it, it was so odd. I have decided that I was just a bit stressed and took it out on the cat (stressed because I broke their curtains, accidentally of course, but now want to fix them and can't so it bugs me).

I looked up the word neurotic yesterday. I think this is what I am.

Weeeeeeekend!

On the job training!

It is eleven o’clock and I am listening to Radio 4 and sipping a nice cup of Earl Grey. I could be a middle-aged lady. Perhaps I am. In fact, I have just been visited by a middle-aged lady – one year off retirement, so maybe more than middle-aged. She is one of the other med secs and she’s nice enough but really rather bitter about her work and life. Her conversation is littered with expletives, which are spat out with such force that I like her less.

I have completed my work for the day (so far anyway). I have done well to stretch out that work for these two hours as really I could have done it in about 20 minutes. In any case, I feel I am now suitably free enough to document the events of yesterday afternoon, namely the ward round and SHO supervision.

The ward round is when the consultant goes and meets the patients and chats with them about their progress and treatment plan. We met a young lady, who looked so sad and pitiful and a product of her history that I crumpled a bit inside. She was admitted after setting fire to her apartment as she thought there were spy cameras in there, through which people could watch her, and ultimately clone her. She was on crack cocaine at the time and in the past has been a heroine and cocaine addict. She left school at fourteen and her baby has been taken into care. She lives in council housing and was given the crack by a man who comes to take photos of her to put on a website (you know the kind I mean). The doctor thought that maybe she had a psychotic episode through the crack. She said she had to drink and take crack to help her stop thinking about her problems. During the ward round she seemed reasonably upbeat and wanted to sort things out for herself. All they could really do for it seemed was to give her advice and contacts to help her e.g. adult literacy classes, drug rehab, council housing phone numbers etc. She won’t be discharged until the end of the week.

The consultant told me that a lot of the time the inpatients get better by themselves, or with a bit of medication, once their episodes are finished. The hospital gives them some time out from society and reality, with people who are focused on their care and wellbeing, so that they can feel strong enough to get better. For the manic patients it is a calm place where they can just be more controlled.

I was looking at the ward list and listening to the briefing meeting and so much of it just made me sad about how these people have come to where they are and what was wrong with them. Granted we are in a deprived area but really for people to go through some of the things that seem to happen here is just inexcusable.

On a more positive note, the new SHOs have started in the department and so yesterday I got to sit on a supervision. We learnt about mental state examinations and the five indicators people check for. These are: mood, energy levels, suicide risk, hallucinations, and delusions (thought disorders). Delusions were postponed until next week because apparently they are the most complicated. For the other four there were loads of definitions and case studies to talk about. Really it seems you can only properly link all the different aspects together after you’ve seen lots and lots of patients and so you know what symptoms constitute what illness. Most interesting to me was the discussion of suicide risk. Apparently a lot of patients say they are a suicide risk but you don’t really need to take them seriously unless they have a plan i.e. have thought through the logistics of their intentions. Otherwise they have only vague ideas, which aren’t so much to worry about. The exception to this, obviously, is the impulsive suicide candidate. In both cases there is usually a precipitating, or trigger, factor, which will set off the suicide, or in some cases, save the patient. The doctor gave the example of a woman who was going to jump in front of train, but decided to have just one last cigarette before plunging, and then by the time she had finished her fag, she had changed her mind. Who would’ve thought cigarettes saved lives?! Another interesting thing we learnt was how the expression “one for the road” came about. It seems that there used to be a prison on Tottenham Court Road, and prisoners that were sentenced to death were hanged down at Marble Arch, so when they had their last drink it was to pluck up the courage to make the long walk down Oxford Street. Again, interestingly, there is a lower risk of homicide amongst mentally ill patients compared with the general population – so low in fact that the risk of homicide is hardly ever formally assessed unless the patient has a forensic history.

The stuff on hallucinations was also really interesting. Hallucinations are perceptual abnormalities i.e. people actually sense these things through touch, sight, hearing etc. Sufferers don’t normally have gustatory, kinaesthetic or olfactory hallucinations – auditory and visual hallucinations are far more common. Hallucinations are a major symptom of paranoid schizophrenia. It was interesting to hear that normally when sufferers hear voices they are simply commenting on what is going on e.g. the voice might say “you’re typing, good, you’re typing” or something like that. The voices are supposedly without emotion or inflection and speak very simply i.e. no clauses or conditions or complicated syntax structures. Sometimes they can even be positive – when people hear “nice” voices it can be difficult to treat them (the doctor said he only treated people who were actually in distress, and not if they didn’t want him to). Normally the voices are not positive though – they are either neutral or derogatory. Often they encourage the sufferer to harm him/herself which is why there is a big risk of self-harm amongst schizophrenic patients. The doctor gave many examples of patients he had had who experienced hallucinations, especially those with alcohol withdrawal symptoms (the ones who see snakes and spiders and all of that).

The final thing I looked at yesterday was a twenty-four page document by a manic patient about how he was going to save all the world’s problems through crying and having a nervous breakdown. It really was a rant of the most fabulous proportions, ridiculously grandiose (he mentions marrying Barbara Bush, and also being given $15 million from the US Government) and repetitive. Mostly I found it sad, that this man was so convinced he could fix the world. Imagine being in such a frenzy and imagine the pressure you could put on yourself at that point. No wonder manic episodes are often followed by major depressions.

Right Radio 4 are doing a programme on controversial books, maybe I’ll have a listen.

Good weekend, and another week at work

So it is Monday again. Another week and weekend have zoomed past. I don't know where the time is going. Luckily I'm not back at school in September, else I would be a bit panicked that THREE WEEKS of the summer have already gone, meaning only half of the holiday is left. Not so for me thought, woo!

I'm at work, but I've done it all, and so I'm wondering how I can secretly read my book/sleep without being noticed.

Weekend was lovely and busy. Disney crew were down from Oxford so we had a nice reunion; went to a fancy pants family thing with X, which was full-on (in a good way) and awesome to be part of; missed some birthdays though, whoops. Will have to make apology phone calls about that.

Aside from that then, haven't been at home all weekend, and so am unsure about this week and what I have to do. I know I have quite a few fun things to do though, so I guess I will consider myself on holiday :) Perhaps I will go to the gym a bit though, what with almost being ready to cancel my membership and all. Really I'm getting old though, my hip and knee are playing up, hohoho. I wish I could still play football, that would be fantastic.

Speaking of which, the Premiership starts again next weekend, WOOOHOOOO! Oh, except I have a weekend of wedding action, thus negating chances of watching live games, boo, but at least Match of the Day will be back.

Anyway, I better save my typing fingers in case I have some actual work to do. Happy Monday!

No desk job for me

I shouldn't really be typing now. After a loooong day of tapping away at a keyboard writing up various clinics etc. the last thing my poor fingertips need is more clacking.

Just a quick one though to say my rage was short-lived and I am back to chirpy. I watched a Beautiful Mind, which was awesome and just let all the rage go (mainly because the rage on the screen was worse).

Also I thought it worthy of note to say that after sitting down all day and typing for the past 11 working days I can safely say a desk job is not for me. The only good thing is finishing and then leaving your work behind you. I don't like commuting or being quiet at a desk all day or sitting down. In fact my arms and wrists and back and legs HURT from sitting down and typing away. So this is the end of this post.

Roll on the weekend! Super busy fun, woo!

Stupid phone companies and people

I am in a rage! Grrrrrrr!

I am currently on hold to Three Customer Services, having already been on the phone for ages to stupid Dial-a-phone Customer Services to cancel a contract that I didn't even order! Well, they sold it to me as an upgrade, except apparently it's not possible for them to do upgrades, so now I have two phones and two SIM cards and two numbers and two direct debits and loads of stupid bureaucracy to go through to undo it all...and all because the stupid cheating salesman told me one thing when he quite patently knew he was wrong and was lying and just did it anyway, what a knob!

So now it has cost me premium rate to get through to their Customer Services, and then I have to send the phone back at Special Delivery Rates, and then I have to pay some random connection charge bill, and then I have to cancel the phone insurance I didn't even want but had to take, and then I end up where I started before I had even tried to upgrade i.e. on hold except considerably more pissed off and out of pocket. It's all a con, I swear it. Plus they spelled my name wrong, idiots. And they charged me £23 for a bluetooth that I don't even have so now how can I return it to get my money back?

This is the highlight of a pretty mediocre day. The weather is gloomy and so it makes sense for all this hassle. I am also pissed off because I had a knee appointment today, where the Consultant I was referred to told me I shouldn't have been referred to him because he can't do the procedure I need, and so he is referring me back to where I was originally referred from 5 months ago, how stupid is that?!

Really I think I am fed up with all the ridiculous systems we have and why can't people just do their damn jobs and be a bit honest and stop passing the buck rather than trying to screw over the average person on the street?

Hmmmm. I am a bit jaded I think. That is probably what comes from doing someone else's work while they take super long tea breaks and chat on the phone. It is also what happens when loads of scummy people swear and argue on the bus and when the company you are working for doesn't send you a timesheet so you have been working for free and again noone will just do the simple part of their job so you can get on and do yours.

On a positive note, I did see a shade on a car with a smiley cat face on it that made me laugh. So maybe all is not doom and gloom after all.

Monday again

Points of note:

1. My laptop is fixed (just about!).
2. I'm thoroughly enjoying my new hobby - learning about psychiatry.
3. I am getting more broke - have not yet been paid for my temp job + I had to fork out a LOT of money today in prepayments and fees for uni.
4. I am a bit scared about uni but also excited but also scared but also excited. Phew.
5. I spent ALL weekend with X, literally, and we saw Wall-E, which was hilarious, and we went shopping and we played jigsaw and we cooked/feasted lots, and had a great time generally. I am pretty much besotted here.
6. I finished Psalm 119 and now am battling between Othello and Midnight's Children.
7. I have a knee appointment tomorrow, where I'll hopefully get my surgery date, and hopefully this won't clash with my work or my trip to Vancouver. Fingers crossed.
8. I have a new phone contract after not realising mine had expired in May so I was back to paying full price for no benefit (this is what happens when you choose paper-less billing!). I get my new phone tomorrow and am hoping it won't be a hassle but instead be the bargain it has sold itself as being.

That is all really. Oh, except I chopped my hair quite a lot shorter, so now it looks like a crazy big Afro, which is partly cool and partly annoying as it can't be controlled AT ALL. Heehee, it's fun for summer!