Thursday, October 08, 2009

A first-hand account of life on Menik Farm

Life in Oxford is good and has resumed at a moderate/fast pace. I'll blog about that soon but first I wanted to put this up. I got it from my uncle and it's a first-hand account of life in the Menik Farm IDP camp in Sri Lanka. It's pretty tough reading, but hopefully will inspire you to help do something to get these people out.


Menik Farm: in the experience of an inmate from March to July 2009 


Figure

The maps of the Menik farm based on UNOSAT maps

CE-2009-999999-LKA &  CE-2009-999999-LKA

 




Name of area

Population

Area in km-sq

Population in Menik Farm size area

Jaffna city

80,000

30

2000

Colombo city

650,000

37

14,000

Menik Farm

250,000

0.8

250,000








Table

 


1. Introduction

A quarter million people, who have been on the run from artillery fire for more than a year, are now restricted by barbed wire inside an area less than one kilometre square. A comparison with the size of some heavily populated cities (Table) gives some idea of the congestion that is made even more acute by restricting the freedom of movement of the inmates. The scenario has drawn the attention of United Nations, Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, governments of many leading countries and several other local and international NGOs, as well as all the major media. The scenario has continued for over six months and there is no end in sight despite pressures applied on and promises made by the Sri Lankan Government. The account below adds to the existing descriptions of the camp conditions and is based entirely on my first hand experience as an inmate in the zone-3 camp (Figure) for more than four months.

2. Administration

The administration of each camp named zone-0 to zone-5 is conducted by one sub office inside each zone. These sub offices in theory comes under the Assistant Government Agent Division (AGA) of Cheddikulam-Vavuniya. Each sub office has a “figure head”, a Tamil, who used to be the head of an AGA division in Vanni prior to displacement and as a rule these “figure heads” are not interned inside the camp. Scores of staff, all of them Tamils, who worked under these heads in Vanni, who are presently interned inside the camps, staff the zone sub offices and live in fear and are eager to get out just like any of the other inmates. Above each of these “zone figure heads” are another head who are all Sinhalese and are employees of the Ministry of Resettlement. The military units that support these “Sinhalese civil servant heads” work in close association with them. The Tamils inmates, “the Tamil figure head” and all other interned staff, take orders from the military.

Once when I was in the sub-office a convoy arrived with the Minister of Resettlement and several personnel with video cameras. While the minister took photographs standing in front of the sub office we, the inmates, were chased out. Then a van with video cameras drove by and started throwing bread and some “sambol” at the inmates crowded behind the office. The inmates rushed competing for the bread while the amused cameramen were videoing. Observing the scene it seemed to me that these video shots will be screened on the state television that night with the news of the minister’s visit to the camp for the pleasure of the Sinhala viewers. Inmates on many occasions have told me of seeing similar scenes being videoed.

3. Military

(“When we risked our lives to escape from the war zone we viewed the Sri Lankan army as our saviours. Just three months later we hate them and see them as “masters”- a 40 year old male inmate)

Gun and stick (long baton rods) wielding military control the inmates at all times. I have not witnessed the guns being used on inmates though I have heard guns being fired on many occasions. The sticks on the other hand were used regularly reminding me of the way black slaves were beaten in the “Roots” television drama. Being treated worse than animals is a very accurate description. The following incident is typical.

A medical employee inmate was regularly carrying some refrigerated medicines from one OPD clinic to another inside the same camp. The employee used a short cut through the tents instead of using the longer gravel road. One military duo attempted to stop the employee suspecting that he is a seller of some goods. Such sellers are treated like criminals as described later. When this employee in question failed to stop because he never suspected that the target of the military order to stop was him. The angered military duo drove their motorbike through the narrow space between the tents; bringing down clothes that were hanging on strings stretched cross the tents; and endangering young children playing in that space. They reached the employee, stopped and got off the motorbike and walked angrily towards the employee shouting something in Sinhalese. The Tamil employee who does not understand Sinhalese kept repeating “hospital.. hospital”, which is a word most of the people in world would understand. (Indeed 95 percent of the inmates all of whom are Tamils do not understand Sinhalese where as 99 percent of the military all of whom are Sinhalese do not know Tamil and give their orders as “masters” in Sinhalese which the “slaves” do not understand.) The enraged military man kicked the employee on his face and stomach several times with his boots while the employee kept repeating “hospital.. hospital”. It was only after the military man was too tired to deliver any more kicks that he stopped to look at what was in the box that the employee was carrying. Several of us witnessed this in close quarters frozen in fear. When the scene cleared I asked one senior government employee inmate if this misconduct by the military ought to be reported. I was told that if I attempt anything like that I will “disappear”.

I have on many occasions taken the trek on the gravel road from one end of the zone-3 camp to its sub-office. This gravel road also separates zone-3 and zone-2 camps. It is therefore an area where the master-slave scenario is played out frequently when the inmates of one camp attempt to go to the other through the barbed wire to meet family members and friends. Anyone caught while attempting to cross are beaten brutally and the degree of brutality became worse as the inmates appeared undeterred by the military brutality. In reality, the people were desperate to see and help family members and friends in the adjacent camp who have arrived at different times from the war zone and have lost close relatives in the war. Military brutality in such circumstance was ineffective. Though some procedure was instituted to let a limited number of people to crossover to the other camp for the day, this was ineffective and people continued to defy the military and breach the barbed wire behind its back.

4. Living area

It was obvious when we arrived in the camp that even the basics like water, toilets and tent were not in place to hold the people they are detaining. Many of us drank the water that were not meant for drinking and ended up with diarrhoea almost immediately after arrival. One could go on about the conditions at the start. There were improvements as time went by but only in comparison to what was there to start with.

The tent was unbearably hot once the sun came out but there were hardly any shade to take shelter from the sun; the place was like a desert with crowded tents. Within two months the tarpaulin material used for the tents were shredded to pieces by the strong winds that started in June. For more than a month we lived in shredded tents with no privacy at all until they were replaced. The wind during June/July was extreme and it was like living permanently in a sandstorm. Everyone was covered with sand that will come raining down every few minutes. There were a couple of heavy downpours soon after we arrived in the camp. Some of the camps in the lower lying areas were flooded. The wind that came with the downpours lifted the roofs of some of the tents. Fear of the monsoon rains was often expressed by the inmates during conversation. I had left the camp before the August heavy rains.

The toilets are only less than five meters from my tent and the smell was strong when the emptying of the toilet pits is not carried out in time which is always the case. When there is water shortage, which is frequent, concern about how one is going to use the toilet becomes the most serious problem of the day, surpassing the problems of food, health and other major issues. Queues for toilets are common in the morning but is usually not so during the day.

Each camp is divided in units of around 300 tents, averaging 2000 inmates, with most units having an enclosed bathing space for 20 people, one for males and one for females. The spacing of this bathing area is such that the water running off the bathing of one person runs into the basin containing the bathing water of the person next to them. Majority of the inmates therefore prefer to bath in the open though lacking in privacy.

I have never seen flies and mosquitoes in such numbers in my life. While eating, one hand is fully occupied with chasing the flies; a practice that children will not adopt thus consuming food contaminated by flies that come straight from the toilets very nearby. Inmates attempted with no success to keep the flies out of their tent by cutting the mosquito nets given to them and draping it around the tent. A few weeks later when mosquitoes were on the rise inmates did not have enough nets to sleep at night. Once the sun sets, one can literally sense dust falling on the face while sitting inside the tent which is in fact the swarms of mosquitoes flying around.

The camp sites are zigzagged with open canals that take away the dirty water. This is the best breeding area for the mosquitoes and the water in the canal is always covered with a thick layer of mosquitoes lying low during the daytime ready for swamping once the sun sets. These canals are always more than a meter wide and there are never adequate cross over points to walk over. Older people and young children frequently fall into these dirty canal water while jumping across it.

5. Retailers

The very first commercial event in the camp after our arrival was the bank. First came the state run banks, with loud announcements of caring for the people. This was quickly followed by other private banks. Banking advertisements were the most prolific in the camp and everyone knew that they were all competing for the savings of the war refugees now interned in terrible conditions.

The trucks of items for sale were first brought in by the Multi-Purpose-Cooperative Societies (MPCS). The struggle people went through to buy small quantities of sugar and tea were stories in their own right. The reason is the huge number of people dying to have a hot cup of tea and the tiny amounts that were brought in for sale. This situation lasted for a few months before more trucks of items for sale and more retail outlets were installed.

Other sellers came along and curiously all of these sellers were Sinhalese except for an odd Muslim seller. A large supermarket style building was erected by “Sathosa” chain to sell mostly expensive items. Ice-cream and Soda outlets were erected. Vegetable and fruit sellers came in substantive numbers. The camp inmates attempted to buy some of these items and resell it with a small profit in order to generate some income for themselves. This was banned by the military and thus was the basis for the frequent cruelty of the military against inmates. There were regular incidents where the military will scatter the wares of these inmate sellers and beat them severely. The inmates came to understand this as a deliberate effort to stop inmates making money whereas selected Sinhalese sellers were given all rights to sell what they like at the price they chose. There was always a market for these wares because the camp inmates included regular salaried people like teachers, health workers, administrative staff etc. Most of the items brought in for sale were those that could be sold with big profit like ice-cream, soda, and biscuits. Basic needs, such as sun hats for children were not sold. Anyone who visited the camp could see very young children roaming around without a hat, one cause for the frequent illness suffered by the children. It was a profit driven retailing with no concern for the people and the inmates understood this clearly.

I was once in the zone-3 camp office when some UNHCR staff were talking to the senior Tamil staff in the office. This was at the time when zone-3 camp was moving from large scale cooking to family level cooking. WFP had started providing the basic dry items (rice, white flour, lentils, sugar and vegetable oil). The UNHCR staff inquired the Tamil officers about vegetables and they were told that Tamil officers have been instructed by the Vavuniya District Secretariat that no vegetables are to be given to inmates. This remained the case until I left the camp. The people with regular salaries could afford to buy the vegetables which were very expensive and the others, the majority just survived with the dry rations.

Majority of the children including infants did not have milk (powder) except an occasional packet handed out by some charity. Once a father of a seven month old baby came begging for some sugar to put in the plain tea (black tea) to be given to his seven month old baby because the mother did not have enough breast milk and the baby was hungry. Plain tea had become the regular diet for this baby.

The remnants of trees that were chopped to clear the forest to set up the camp were initially used by the inmates for firewood. This quickly ran out once self cooking was begun with WFP dry rations. No axes were given to the inmates to chop the wood and people could be seen going around pleading a few who had bought an axe for loan of the axe. People were forced to go to edge of camp to collect firewood and were often beaten up by mindless military personnel. Collecting firewood also thus became synonym with military brutality.

6. Health service

Each zone has two or three OPD clinics of varying sizes. Most of the doctors attending the clinics are non-Tamil speakers. Most of them are Sinhalese and sometimes Indian doctors are in attendance too; necessitating an interpreter. Skilled interpreters are rare and anyone with a minimum knowledge of Sinhala is recruited from the inmates. Older women not wishing to use the young male unskilled interpreter have approached me to explain their reproductive system related illness to the doctor in English.

The queues are very long and the doctors work at break neck speed. I have seen a doctor writing a prescription to a 12 year old boy without finding out what is wrong with the boy. The medicines that are dispensed are arranged in a table and the total list of medicines consists of around 30 different medicines. The medicine dispensers too work with breakneck speed in dispensing them. Once an educated mother told me that she visited the doctor for treatment for her baby as well as for herself. The medicine dispensers mixed up the medicines and gave the baby what should have been given to the mother. Since the mother had some awareness of the medications she spotted it. Most mothers in the camp who do not have such awareness would have given the adult medicine to the baby. God only knows how many babies, children and even adults died due such medical negligence. Who is there in the camp to watch, monitor and investigate? Deaths are just that, deaths and no investigations are done as to the cause of it.

Patients often queue up for doctors for hours even before the doctors arrive from outside. No one in the OPD clinic will know when the doctors are likely to arrive. One just waits around taking one’s chances. For all this the level of sickness among inmates is far higher than among the population at large and it is obvious.

Take the eight tent group where I was staying. Five of the tents out of the eight had children under 10. One child died; one became seriously ill and taken away to Vavuniya hospital and all the other children had frequent fever, vomiting and diarrhoea. The children were wasting away and it was visibly obvious. Some of the children had persistent skin disease despite several visits to the doctors and treatment. Four of the children contracted HepatitisA and the parents were told by the doctors to just take good care of them and give lots of fruits because the hospitals had no medicine. Fruits were very expensive in the camp. There is a native treatment for HepatitisA involving a plant named “Keelkainelli” in Tamil. Even to get this plant was a struggle because it meant someone has to bring it from outside and handover to the inmates at the meeting spot as described later.

People young and old suddenly dying after a few days of fever is a common occurrence. All of us were left puzzled as to the cause and no one gave any explanation. All of us without exception have suffered diarrhoea at least once and most of us many times.

I used to keep telling myself during the stay in the camp how lucky I was that I do not have any young children under my care. The unhygienic living, especially the play area and the continuous illness is an ordeal for the young mothers. Even thinking about the condition of newborns and their mothers who are sent back to the camp conditions soon after birth is an ordeal. Perhaps the most telling scenes of the camp conditions and the health service can be found by visiting the OPD clinics and observing young mothers with very sick babies waiting for long time in queues with tears trickling down their face.

7. Family separation

Family separation caused by many factors is yet another ordeal that runs through the community. Contacting family living elsewhere also became an ordeal because most people have lost the addresses and phone numbers during the escape. Until after May, the camp postal service was non-existent and the camp phone service that permitted a three-minute call required standing in queues for two days; most of the time without success. Possessing a mobile phone was a crime and remained a crime until the time I left the camp. For a short period during July the military was even confiscating radios because of the rumour that the Voice of Tiger radio service had restarted.

Hundreds of injured people were taken by ICRC ship throughout the war period from Vanni. Often an adult family member and sometimes young children who had no other care giver left in Vanni accompanied the injured. The injured person and the accompanying family members were separated within a day or two of arrival and the family members were taken to the camps while the injured was sent away to some hospital. I have known family after family desperately trying without much assistance from any authorities to locate the injured family member who could have been transferred to any number of the hospitals. Many a tearful months were spent by these families not knowing anything about the fate of their injured family member. Reunion of the injured with the family in many cases took place purely by the efforts of the family with next to no help from the authorities.

The war conditions and the eventual escape from the war zone separated families. Often while escaping part of the family would cross over while the others failed to cross over. Again many families wrote dozens of letters and made many tearful trips to the sub-office trying to locate the missing members. The success often came by sheer luck and not through any set procedure. It was chaos all around. The most heartbreaking scenes prior to June was when bus loads of refugees were just arriving in the camps. People in the camps would run behind these buses hoping to catch a glimpse of a missing relative. If someone in the bus waves at them, there would be endless speculation on to whom the wave was directed and who that person was. These were all signs of longing that the family members who were not already in the camp had survived and made it across.

It is these people suffering intense anxieties about friends and families who were brutally stopped by the military from entering adjacent camps to checkout if the missing loved one has arrived there. The number of times inmates were brutally beaten when caught attempting to cross is countless. The camps were full of stories on how even women were beaten up. Walking down the gravel road that separates zone-2 and zone-3 one can see the barbed wire being breached at several places where the determined people have made spaces to crossover. The military would at gunpoint gather young men to mend these breached places and the people kept breaching them again and again. Once I saw an old man just squatting on the zone-3 side of the gravel road watching through the barbed wire the goings on in zone-2. A military person walking past called the old man on to the road and started beating him. It was clear to me that the beating on this occasion was purely for sadistic pleasure. I have seen a few more instances of sadistic actions by the military. The beating of the hospital worker described earlier also was of this category. 

The military also separated families by taking away people suspected of LTTE membership at Omanthai where all refugees were first recorded. Trying to locate the whereabouts of such members was the most traumatic. In many cases families did not even know if the member had perished in Vanni or were taken away by the military. ICRC played a part in giving information to the families whenever it managed to find out the whereabouts of the missing person. If the names are not in ICRC list then locating such cases is impossible. Many families were still searching for members in this category when I left.

If there was any doubt that the Menik Farm camps are anything other than prisons the procedure in place for outside visitors to meet inmates will clear away any doubt. Each zone has a space allocated where outsiders must come to seek face to face meeting with inmates. There were times when they were barred from brining anything to be given to the inmates. This was relaxed later. The visitor gives a piece of paper to the personnel manning the place with the names of the inmates they wish to meet. This will be announced in the public announcement system. Mind you, not every tent is within the audible limits of this announcement system. By the time the inmate hears the announcement and takes the long trek to the meeting place anything from one to two hours would have passed. Across a divide separated by barbed wires the inmates and visitors must identify and signal to each other that they will enter the meeting area on the next turn. A fixed number of inmates (around 50 in zone-3) are permitted into the meeting area at a time and their corresponding visitors are also then permitted in. The actual meeting area is divided by iron sheets up to the chest and above it are wooden grills similar to what one would find in a prison. The visitors and inmates can talk through this grill and also exchange items over the grill. One is permitted only around 20 minutes maximum to talk because there will be hundreds more waiting. Even within this short time one is often interrupted by the military demanding the national identity card of the visitor and details about the relationship to the inmate. The waiting area for the zone-3 visitors has no shade and they will be waiting in the burning sun for hours.

8. Deaths

If an inmate dies in a hospital outside camp to which the inmate was transferred earlier, there is a small chance he or she will get something resembling a funeral. Of course there must be a relative who is a permanent resident of Vavuniya who is willing to hold the funeral in their home. If this is the scenario then only three relatives from inside the camp are permitted to leave the camp to attend the funeral. A police person is sent with them and the very next day this police person must ensure that the inmates are back in camp. A three and a half year old boy died near my tent and his aunts who brought him up were not allowed to even go and see the dead body of the boy. Any death within the camp has no chance of a funeral. The body is just removed by the military and nothing is heard of after that.

Even in death families have no privacy to mourn. While people close to the deceased mourned onlookers would gather around because it all had to be done in the open space.

9. Mysterious happenings

Once there were rumours of three to six bodies of young women floating in the river adjacent to the camp. There were speculations as to the reasons for the presence of these bodies. There were rumours of white-van abductions within the camp. There were also stories of a young man disappearing while going to collect water. We were not treated like people with intelligence who deserve to find out what is going on. There were only rumours based on such facts and no way of finding out anything else.

There were these people whom the camp inmates called ‘CIDs”. They were apparently senior LTTE members who had been taken away and then “released” into the camp to be with their families. Their job is to spot LTTE members and LTTE Police members who have not reported to the military. One such CID man was living close to my tent. I have seen him interrogating other men suspected of close liaison with LTTE. This CID man has apparently said that he is doing this after he was beaten severely until he agreed to do this task. We also heard another well known female LTTE member coming in Sri Lankan military uniform to the camps and identifying LTTE members in the camp.

10. What inmates talked about

Until end of May, till the last of the displaced arrived, most people talked a lot about who were killed since they had left. Stories of entire families being killed were common in the conversations of the inmates. Especially when extended families or people from the same locality met for the first time since getting out of the war zone, they had numerous stories to share about the fate of the unfortunate relatives and villagers. How best to trace missing relatives was always part of this topic of conversation. Descriptions of the experience of crossing over from the war zone were the ones described in minute details by those who had displaced in March. While crossing over people faced intense fears of being shot at either by the military or by the LTTE. Families often got separated when they were fired at. Wealthier people hired boats to cross over. One mother lost all of her four children when her boat was fired at by the military suspecting it to be an LTTE boat.

Those who arrived in May described the experience of the last few days of the war in great detail. Many said that during the last few days they never walked erect due to fear of being hit by shelling. When making the move to exit the area they said that they had to walk over dead bodies.

Other topics included the amount of money they had wasted in transporting their possessions as they displaced again and again in Vanni. The loss of their entire possessions was acutely felt and discussed over and over again. When feeling a little less tense the inmates never tire of describing their yard and all the trees and vegetables that would be growing in their yard. The soothing shades of large mango and jack trees in their yard were frequently remembered and contrasted with the lack of shade from the scorching sun in the camp.

The going on in the camp itself also dominated the conversation of inmates who were living near each other. The most common topic is the fights among inmates that always took place at the water collection queues. These fights indicative of the tension caused by competition for the limited availability of water created a very bad atmosphere among the inmates who were otherwise very amicable and helpful to each other.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Alumni weekend

Just a quick note to say that Alumni Weekend in Oxford was fantastic, if entirely random! Lots of old boys in proper college suits and ties, and then lots of internationals and hot young things all over campus. I didn't get to take part in any of the actual events because I was working, but there was a nice buzz around the place, and hopefully everyone who came had a good time.

The Wolfson dinner was brilliant - I realise I love chatting to old wise people who teach me things! Food was awesome, very intimate venue too (only small numbers turned out, which was fine with me!) and we got free Isaiah Berlin t-shirts too, albeit in super-large sizes! Every now and then the evening felt completely surreal, with me wondering how I had somehow ended up in this room in Oxford with poets and dames and all sorts of people I would never encounter in my regular life. I guess that's the joy of Oxford. I only wish more people could experience what I get to take part in. X looked super pretty :) We had a good time together, it's nice to have someone to go to these things with, who you can show off and be impressed by :) It was also nice not to be drinking - meant I could communicate coherently and not be hungover the next day, bonus! I did miss the port though.

Another week of telethon-ing to go. So far so good. Still loving being at Exeter and enjoying the lack of academic work. A bit nervous about starting next week but hopefully it'll be ok. Looking forward to being back in Waggytown for a wee bit to get my stuff. Also looking forward to doing some exercise soon - been eating far too much junk on the telethon!

Roy vs Bandula


From the Toronto paper, The Globe and Mail


Bandula wrote:Sri Lanka — From Thursday's Globe and Mail .
The Globe and Mail, which I held in high esteem until now, disrespected and distorted Sri Lanka's flag in the illustration accompanying the article Let's Help Sri Lanka Win The Peace (Sept. 17). This is not the kind of journalism one would expect from a respectable newspaper. The Globe should not forget that many Canadians are of Sri Lankan origin.Â

Bandula Jayasekara
Consul GeneralÂ

Roy's response.

Dear editor,Â

Sri Lanka is a country run by pesky racist zealots. Despite Sri Lankan Consul General's lament that The Globe disrespected his country's flag, I on the other hand, along with many other Canadians of Tamil decent (not Sri Lankan) wouldn't wrap fish with Sri Lanka's flag, out of respect for fish.Â

Some links on Sri Lanka and diaspora activities

Article about a rich Tamil dude giving money to rehabilitate former Tiger cadres. Not sure if I'd be giving money to the GoSL just yet, but I guess he thinks he is helping.

http://transcurrents.com/tc/2009/09/raj_rajaratnam_sets_example_fo.html

Article on the history of Tamil secessionism in India and also good information on the caste system and ideas of Dravidians.

http://dbsjeyaraj.com/dbsj/archives/1076

Thursday, September 24, 2009

An article on Sri Lanka

Today I am in the Old Bod. It's beautiful in the sunlight and also pretty empty, which is how I like my libraries. Unfortunately the computers are achingly slow. But hey, you can't have everything you want in life.

Work was good last night, I was much more on top of things and made sure I ate this time! I'm getting on well with the student callers and also my fellow ambassadors and my bosses too. It's a really hectic job but I like it. I particularly like the jokey atmosphere we share there.

So I thought I'd post up an article I wrote on Sri Lanka for a writing competition. Now, I don't consider myself a writer as such, and certainly when you read this you will realise I have no natural flair for writing or anything like that. But I thought I'd enter this competition just to raise awareness of the situation in Sri Lanka, especially for the Tamil IDPs (internally displaced persons) in the camps over there. Don't judge the piece on its style or literary standards - rather just take in the information and the ideas presented. Ok, caveats over.

Benjamin Franklin House Literary Prize – Young Writers’ Award Entry

"They, who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety".

I read this quote and I thought immediately of Sri Lanka. I know that Benjamin Franklin intended these words for the Pennsylvania Assembly but it seems to me that they should be spoken to the Government of my mother country. While they hold my people hostage, seemingly endlessly with no ransom note and no explanation, I sit here, safe in British luxury, and wonder if I too have played a part in the loss of their liberty? And, by extension, my liberty?

Known as the pearl of the Indian Ocean, the island named as Ceylon by its British colonisers has had a beautiful and violent history. Paddy fields and tea plantations, crystal clear lagoons and travel brochure beaches, ancient temples and bustling street markets – all have acted as landscapes to warfare. Ceylon became Sri Lanka on the 4th February 1948, but the country’s new found liberty did not lead to safety for its citizens. The British had kept a lid on disagreements and divisions between the two main ethnic groups but in their absence these quickly escalated into a battle for power between the Government of Sri Lanka (GoSL) and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE). The resulting decades of conflict claimed thousands of victims - Tamils, Sinhalese, and others.

The war reached a bitter and bloody climax earlier this year. Although the hostilities have been declared over by the Sri Lankan administration, thousands of internally displaced Tamil civilians remain in militarised “welfare camps” in the formerly controlled LTTE areas in the North of the country. The Government declares that it is necessary to keep these people under its control so that any remaining Tiger supporters can be weeded out. Further, the Government argues that it needs to make the LTTE areas “safe”. As such, the Government can justify withholding the freedom of the Tamil civilians, forbidding them from leaving the camps, claiming it might be dangerous for them to return to their villages, and arguing they might be dangerous to others, to the citizens of Sri Lanka that count. Conveniently forgetting that the Tamil people are citizens too.

For the Government of Sri Lanka, the establishment of safety, no matter how temporary or limited in its scope, is worth the sacrifice of the liberty of the Tamil people. But this utilitarian perspective is not a long-term solution to the problems between the people of this island. The removal of the freedom of the Tamil people is not conducive to the promotion of future safety and security for all people. Rather, the captivity and the oppression of the Tamil people will only fuel their desire for liberty and for justice.

The problem in Sri Lanka, as in many other countries, is that there are multiple groups competing for power and control. These groups each see their own goals as independent and exclusive to the goals of the others. As such each group believes that in order for them to achieve safety and liberty, it must be at the other group’s expense. This is what causes the tit-for-tat style behaviour by opposing groups, because they think of safety and liberty as resources, which are scarce and finite. Further, the treatment of safety and liberty as “either/or” options results in a blind-eye being turned to the possibility of maximising both. But for safety and liberty to prosper they must not be considered as goals independent of each other and exclusive to each group. Rather they must be considered as dual aims for everyone. A balance must be achieved – freedom and security go hand in hand so you cannot have one without the other. And you cannot give one to one with giving the same one to the other. Freedom and safety are not resources – they are basic human rights that are infinitely available if those in power choose it to be so.

In Sri Lanka the Government continues to treat Tamils and Sinhalese differently – giving freedom and security to one but not to the other. In Sri Lanka liberty and security come from the hands of those in charge, to distribute as they wish. By denying the Tamils their essential liberty, it is easy to see why the LTTE came into existence. No doubt the LTTE would agree with Benjamin Franklin – by giving up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, the Government of Sri Lanka has made a terrible compromise and thus deserves neither freedom nor safety.

Beyond Sri Lanka too, the treatment of the Tamil people has raised awareness and concern among the Tamil diaspora, who share this mindset. However whilst Franklin would most likely not support the strategies endorsed by the LTTE, the Government of Sri Lanka must surely be wary of the popular mentality of many young diaspora Tamils, who have become politically conscious and active as a result of the recent atrocities, and who agree with the notion that those who are willing to trade freedom for temporary safety are not worthy of either. The young Tamil diaspora have never had to fight for liberty or safety in the many different countries of their births, but by taking freedom and security for granted, they forget the suffering of their people. New generations of freedom-fighters will be born when this suffering through the suppression of liberty is realised. When the freedom of the Sri Lankan Tamils is considered our freedom too, we will fight.

The uncertainty and instability prevalent in Sri Lanka provide evidence of the difficulties in maintaining the temporary safety gleaned at the expense of liberty. But it is the loss of the independence of the Tamil people in the first place that has caused this island-wide insecurity, which in turn drives the Government’s desire for safety, no matter what the cost. Why this liberty was taken away is unclear but certainly its reinstatement is an essential step on the path towards peace. Further, the root causes of the issues between the groups need to be addressed rather than just the symptoms – only then can liberty and safety be fully achieved.

Franklin’s words allow a straightforward interpretation – that liberty takes priority and should not be sacrificed, even for safety. But if one looks deeper, one can also interpret this quote as an argument for the duality and interdependence of safety and liberty. The people of Sri Lanka deserve the peace that can be achieved by the provision of liberty and safety for all. But if we do not use the safety and liberty we have been granted to secure these same rights for others, we are in danger of losing what we have. And if we do not use the safety and liberty we have been granted to secure these same rights for others, then we do not deserve them either.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Libraries and Exeter College

I just wanted to take a moment to note how much I love libraries, particularly when they are mostly empty. I am in the Rad Cam right now, just minutes walk from Exeter, and it's beautiful in this light. I think I am especially liking it because I don't have pressing academic work to do in here so I can just enjoy it!

Also some things I like about Exeter:

1. It's a real old college, the fourth oldest in fact, so it is small and traditional-looking!
2. Breakfast - awesome, I love cooked breakfast and strong coffee.
3. JCR has sky, oh yeah.
4. Beautiful fellows' garden with a small terrace with lovely views over the Rad Cam quad. I've never seen a view like that before.
5. My room, which is actually really big and well furnished for 1st year room. Not even minding sharing the showers or the loos (something I have pretty much never really done before, except for that summer at Dartmouth!)

So today I am going to do some drawing and some reading and some tea drinking and some relaxing, before another hectic telethon session. Life is pretty peachy, am just missing X is all. Oh and I shall try and blag my way into Exeter library as clearly it will be wonderful.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Birthday highlights and being in Oxford

Helllloooo! I am in Wolfson library! So yes, I am back in Oxford now. I don't think I have ever posted from here before. Exciting times! It's cool to be back in college and catch up with people here...I can't believe there are new students here already and that a year has passed since I started here myself.

So firstly, the highlights from my birthday, which I don't think I've done yet:

1. All the love and attention given to me by X. Such a special birthday :) Probably my best and most exciting since I was maybe 11!
2. A cool shiny and stylish brilliant DAB radio. I have named him Oscar.
3. My lovely little cyclomen plant (Hermione). She will certainly brighten up my room here.
4. The rest of "birthday corner" featuring helium balloons, a badge, cards, a banner, and GOLD STARS! (and a big wrapped up present box with piggy wrapping paper! This contained Oscar.)
5. Birthday tiggerific cupcakes. YUM!
6. An amazing birthday dinner at The Bay View, such good food and drink and fun!
7. Walking along the beach. I've never done that on my birthday before.
8. Birthday sunshine.

I had such a great day, really I can't convey it properly here, but I remember waking up on the Friday (a bit hungover!) wishing that it was my birthday again because it was so great, so it must've been a good day. So thank you X, you are very special and make me feel very special too.

Other exciting things since my birthday:

1. Winning £10 on deal or no deal in the KA. Finally, a big win! And we almost won £20, it was like a dream!
2. Working on another telethon. Hard work but I realise I like helping other people and chatting to strangers and stuff like that. Plus the money is good and so are the rest of the team, even if some of the students ARE a little immature.
3. Living in Exeter college as a conference guest - it's nice to stay in other colleges and see what they are like.
4. Having a nice shiny red bike that works. Hope it stays that way!
5. Having the time to write on this blog and do my campaigning for the Tamil people and read books and walk around and enjoy life. I like being in Oxford without having to do academic work yet. I do miss being in Waggytown though. I can't wait for the weekends, but hopefully they will come quickly and we will do ok.

That's all for now. Nap time!

PS I did well in my exams too, which makes me happy!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Read and sign

It's my birthday today! I'm feeling pretty good - it's sunny and fun in Waggy. I'll post an update on stuff soon but just thought I'd share these with you, as even though I'm having fun over here, in Sri Lanka there is still suffering. Sign the petition and read the articles. Thank you.

Amnesty article and facebook petition (at the bottom of the article)

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/15/sri-lanka-war-on-tamil-tigers

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/sep/16/sri-lanka

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Boiler and the boiler room

Our boiler is on the blink. The gas people have temporarily done some banging to it to make it work, but we fear it needs a big and major operation to fix it. They will be back with some kind of replacement part (organ donation) to fix it up and help it last a bit longer. Being with hot water is gruesome (hot soft am I?) but it was sort of fun bathing out of a bucket with one third boiling kettle water, two thirds cool cool tap water. Reminded me of being in the village in Sri Lanka and also a bit of my time in Africa. Crucially though, those are hot places so the sting of the cold water isn't so noticeable compared to chilly Swantown. We hope it will be fixed up soon.

With regards to the boiler room, well, my brother has been working in what pretty much seems to be a boiler room (he got made redundant, which some of us are not as devastated about, given the terrible macho atmosphere there) and I have just been listening to a report about "fake boiler rooms" where con artists trick innocent people into spending hundreds and thousands of pounds on non-existent shares. I can't believe how convincing the people sound - it makes me realise that if you have the gift of the gab, you can sell pretty much anything. I only hope my brother wasn't working in a proper boiler room - and that he was actually selling real shares!
In other news it is sunny today, which obviously makes me chirpy. To make the day even better:
1. I have been shopping. This simple act of hunter-gathering (simple so long as you have some money) is wonderfully satisfying, particularly when BARGAINS are to be had. Today bargains included two pairs of TU trousers and also some new potatoes.
2. We have a Weds-date later, to the cinema, whoop! Time Traveller's Wife, no doubt will be terrible as most book-turned-films are, but it'll be fun.
3. England are playing Croatia tonight and we finally have ITV on our telly so we can watch it directly rather than through a dodgy internet connection. Probably the game will be dismal but I am excited for now.
4. Fish and chips with green peas and tartar sauce. Enough said there.
I am pleased for Speech Debelle, who won the Mercury Music Prize last night. I am also a bit gutted that it wasn't Jij who won the prize.. Don't get confused, she wasn't even in the running or anything, but they seem to have had really similar lives and Jij is so talented, I want her to win a prize and make her music too. I will listen to Speech's album later to see what it's like.
Finally, I'm enjoying the holiday having finished A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - very good, if rambley, but true to life and impressive too - and so now have started Making History by Stephen Fry - the main character is annoying me already - and watching lots of good old telly and listening to Radio 4. Aaah holidays.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Thesis in and so I'm back

Hello. It's me again. I'm back. Almost 2 months since I last posted. I have been slack and busy with the dreaded THESIS. Actually, it wasn't so bad after all, in that it is done and handed in and I can forget about it, at least for another week until we get the results of our MSc course. So now I have no excuse.

I was reading my cousin's Ghana blog the other day and it was really good, he's a great writer. Thus I was inspired to try and make mine live again. We shall see how that goes.

I'm in Swantown now, my new half-a-week home with X. It's lovely, right near the coast and cheap as chips (comparatively). We even have a study and a pretty large living room and it's all walking distance to the centre and cycling distance to uni and the station for X and me respectively. Downside is that it's not been let out in ages so there are lots of niggling problems with it here and there, which are getting fixed, but still cause inconvenience. The most tedious one (so far, but hopefully it's the last one) is the boiler and it's not working. Not having hot water is a total bum, particularly when it comes to not being able to wash my mane, err, I mean hair. Hopefully they will fix that up.

Alongside my thesis I've been to two weddings this summer, both of which were exciting and fun and also a bit stressful. My cousin's was in America and had loads of family present. We went over for 9 days and have now had our fill of family over there. Washington is a pretty cool place though - I'd love to go back and just visit all the museums. The other wedding was X's best friend's (X was the "best man"!) and that took place in Bath and was just beautiful. It was really small and intimate and the venues were awesome - the Bath Assembly Rooms and then around the old Spa buildings. It was really cool.

I have another week or so off before I start working on a telethon for the university (this time helping manage it, woo!) and then my DPhil starts on the 30th September, exciting and scary! I already have my first team meeting booked in in October so I am rather scared but hopefully I won't be too out of my depth.

That's all for now, I have to get back to my busy life of watching Sky and reading books. Oh to be a student. It'd be nice with some money though!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Thesis-ing and stuff

Still been working on the thesis. Stata and data work is taking over my life. Not for much longer though - we're away in Scotland this week, hurrah! Going to Edinburgh and Aberdeen, exciting!

Finished Sex and the City series 5, very good, I liked it a lot. Am thinking of watching it backwards now i.e series 4, then series 3 etc.. Also saw Harry Potter 6, which was entertaining. We saw it at the 5:15pm showing, thus it was full of tiny children and their parents (or, given that this is Oxford, more likely nannies). It was funny to watch with them, they were captivated and so excited! Have now been inspired to borrow the books from the library and read them again - they're just so good!

What other news? Now potentially staying in Oxford for my DPhil. Well, certainly not going to Cardiff any more as I've turned down my offer and studentship (yikes!) So we went to see a funny old land lady in Oxford, who has a room to let. It's pretty bargainous I think, but the woman was a proper old Oxford lady so I'm not sure how well we'll get along. Haven't got anywhere else to stay as yet though, so might have to commit there. Hopefully will have paper confirmation of my place and the studentship here soon....

Listening to the cricket while doing some Sri Lankan campaigning. Things are still bad over there. I've been having my head in the sand for a while but it's time to do something useful again. Especially after Friday and yesterday, where most of my time was spent feasting and drinking and having fun - I'm lucky to have all of this so I should try and help others too.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I'm back

I've been away for ages. Not from Oxford, I mean, but from the blog. EXAMS.

That says it all really. They came and went and they were ok.

Last stages now of the MSc. Writing my thesis. Busy with Stata sorting out all that data. But that means I'm at my computer a lot again so I can type some stuff up now and then. Cool.

Been reading all about gangs and inner-city American poverty and that kinda thing. Well into the "conscious" hip-hop nowadays, wondering how we can harness ourselves to help the people in Sri Lanka. The Tamil people I mean.

What else? Still got my ESRC at Cardiff but thinking about staying in Oxford. It's all a bit complicated and so I'm avoiding thinking about it.

Saw my old maths department last night - good and bad memories of teaching are in my mind now. Seen the same people, doing the same thing really, but enjoying it.

Thought I'd post this one as I liked it. It's the intro from Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liqour album.

Food and liquor stores rest on every corner
From 45th and State to the last standin Henry Horner
J&J's, pale chicken, good finger lickin
While they sin, gin, sin sin at Rothschild and Kenwood Liquors
The winos crooked stagger
meets the high stride of the youth searchin for the truth
They rebel and raise hell across alleyways and in classroom settings
They get high off that drum bass and 20/20 rims
They rock braids, Air Force Ones and Timbs
They drink Hennessy, Hypnotiq and 40's
They call they women hoes, bust downs and shorties
They keep funeral homes in business and gunshot wards of hospitals full
Prisons packed, bubblin over in brown sugar
They keep empty, Westside lots crowded, hype's powdered
The well is running dry, the days of Malcolm and Martin have ended
Our hope has descended and off to the side
Waiting for the reinstallment of the revolution
Because we are dying at the cost of our own pollution
But God has another solution, that has evolved from the hood
I present one who turns, the Fiasco to good

Thursday, May 28, 2009

5-aside cuppers champions!

Finally! I can say I've won football cuppers competition. Yeah!

Some great games and great team spirit. Was especially good to beat LMH/T in the semi-finals. A conclusive win really all the way through though. And we got to play Keble again in the finals, woo!

The come-down from playing all that football then having to return to studying hit me pretty hard yesterday. On the plus side, I dedicated my time to working on solving the cryptic crossword from Monday's Guardian. We'd been doing it for three days, but we completed it yesterday! Hoorah! I am going to keep practising at that.

So now I have to get properly on the revision train. It seems possible. Kind of.

Also very pleased that Barcelona won the Champions League final last night - they are good team and I agree with their ways.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Lots of sports!

A whole weekend of sports, am pretty achey! Played korfball for Wolfson, which was totally awesome - it's kinda like a netball/basketball cross over but boys and girls can play together and the net is huge. It's still hard to throw the ball in though! We came fourth (out of four!) but it was lots of fun. Then we played an epic game of cricket against ChCh, which was really close, but they beat us with just 10 balls to spare. Shame but was nice to hang out in the sun.

Yesterday we completed our group games for 5-aside and finished top of our group. Today we have the quarter-finals (ironically against the team in our group we beat yesterday to come top) and then with a bit of luck a semi-final and a final too. Am excited about that a lot.

There is a giant fat robin eating at our bird-feeder right now, it's totally exciting! Although I just moved to try and get my camera to take a photo, and it flew away. Maybe it'll be back? Oooh I can see him sitting on the fence nearby!

What else? Have learnt that it's much harder to sleep by myself now - I'm very used to having X around. My revision is going ok, still not doing that much work, but a bit now and then. Finished Gang Leader for a Day and also The Namesake (which I've just found out has been made into a film too!), both of which I enjoyed, the first because gangs and ethnographies are very interesting to me, the second because I love stories about second generation Asians and identity. Now reading Outliers, which is very good in terms of concepts, but annoyingly is written in a really popular science style with a very sensationalist use of statistics.

Ok back to work. Fingers crossed for the football!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Monday 4th week

It's mid-morning. Just settling down to Social Stratification revision. Not really feeling too much in the zone, but am hoping to cover the income inequality topic.

Mostly been spending my mornings campaigning for the war in Sri Lanka to end. Writing to MPs and MEPs, newspapers, commenting on articles, signing virtual petitions, feeling sad for the Tamil people there. They say the war is over now and that the LTTE have been destroyed. But the Eelam dream is still alive, the Tamil people want their freedom and their own land, and they will keep fighting for it.

There are thousands of people (some reports say upwards of 250,000) in displacement camps in Vanni at the moment, where there isn't enough food or water or medicine. People live in cramped conditions and don't have freedom of movement. Once you're in the camp, you can't get out, and while visitors are allowed, it's a bureaucratic nightmare to dissuade visits. Further there is still no independent media access or access to the war zone by NGOs. All so the government can continue their dirty work without having anyone question them. It's a terrible situation, poor Tamil people in Sri Lanka...it's like the Jews except here the Tamil people were caught between the LTTE and GoSL - a rock and a hard place it seems. I only hope it gets better.

Aside from Sri Lanka my time has been occupied with revision and cricket - played my first game last week and while my batting was terrible (1 run!), I managed to bowl someone out in one of my five overs, and also bowled a maiden over (where no runs are scored), which is cool for me! I'm enjoying that a lot.

Ok I will get back to work now. Exams in 5 weeks!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Thursday 2nd week

Been working on my thesis and revision. Thesis is going ok. Had a meeting with my supervisor on Tuesday (after a lovely long weekend at home) and have some changes to do but think it'll be ok. Ignoring it for now as she recommended spending most of my time revising.

Have two exams (nothing compared to finals!) so trying to figure out which topics to revise etc.

Home was awesome, first BBQ of the year! Saw lots of family and ate really well :) Saw my Granddad too - he's back in the country for six months, woo! He's 89 now and still going strong, which I'm really grateful for. Played poker with the girls and 304 too, good times.

Made plans to go to Washington for a week in August with my Dad and my brother - it's my cousin's wedding. Will be good to see all the family over there as it's been a while.

What else? X is home full-time - woo! Good work ethics will hopefully rub off on me with regards to revision and stuff. Been watching a lot of football. Controversial football for sure. Poor referees in the Champions League - they are making all sorts of mistakes. My brother made a strong case for video referees in the box when I was watching footy with him on the weekend. Now I'm really starting to agree with him. Wrong decisions in the penalty box happen far too regularly. Poor Fletcher will miss the Final for the red card given because of his excellent tackle. Shocking decision and even worse that it can't be appealed against. He behaved really well though - the Chelsea players could learn a thing or too about respect in football from him. That's the other thing, football doesn't have any respect in it, people dive and complain and argue with the ref all the time. Yesterday Ballack was actually chasing and flapping at the ref! There needs to be a system like in rugby where only the captain can talk with the ref and also if people show dissent then decisions should be reversed or they should lose ground on the free kick or something like that. The FA and UEFA and FIFA all those groups need to sort out the refereeing and get some respect back in the game because players and fans are acting like thugs.

Rant over. Saw In The Loop last night, which was great, so funny and actually satirical. Would recommend it for sure. Also click here for Pizza Express vouchers, which are buy one main course get the second free.

Ok I will get back to reading the sequel to The Knife of Never Letting Go. It's called The Ask and The Answer - harrowing stuff, kinda like the situation in Sri Lanka at the moment for the poor oppressed Tamil people caught up in the war zone. I hope this book has a happy ending. I hope in Sri Lanka there's a happy ending too.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

1st week

No classes this term! This should be a good thing. And indeed it is. Except it means that all structure to my life has gone. Well, as much as it can go for a semi-serious Virgo like me.

So I have revision for my 9th week exams to do. And I have my thesis to do. And both of them seem due so far away, and both of them are such big tasks (in my head) to even start, that I am failing to do anything properly productive. I know that once I am in the zone of things it'll be sweet, but just getting started is so tedious.

I think it's error working at my desk in the flat. I need to be somewhere where other people are working. That said though, I am loving having this kinda free time. It all feels like I'll get it done someday, so in the meantime I'm just gonna enjoy things.

Finished The Knife of Never Letting Go, which was so awesome. Am very glad that X can get me the sequel before it's released (good stuff those bookshop proofs). We're going to see X-Men Origins:Wolverine tonight, which am pretty psyched about, I love X-Men and Wolverine and Beast are my faves. Sometimes I wonder what I'd like to have as a super power, and I reckon it would still be Prof X's and Jean Grey's ESP-style powers, I mean, they seem really useful in whatever situation.

Was listening to Asher Roth's Asleep in the Bread Aisle - really funny album, would totally recommend it. Now listening to his mixtape The Greenhouse Effect, which I reckon is even better than the full on album! So we will see how the work goes today then.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Nice holiday but very bad in Sri Lanka

I am back. Lille was awesome, lovely beers and mussels and fun all day, I loved it!

Thesis presentation went well this morning, I'm pleased. Will crack on with revision and thesis tomorrow. Exam dates in 9th week - Monday 22nd and Weds 24th.

Horrible things happening in Sri Lanka, hope it all stops soon, those poor people. Saw some terrible terrible photos of dead people, it's so sad. Worse though are the ones that are still alive in those concentration camps, they're alive now as I type this, and as you read this, suffering in a hell-hole. I don't know what to do. There's a mass protest again in London tomorrow, but even when other government's put pressure on Sri Lanka, they just keep doing what they want, they don't care about whom they kill along the way. It's heart-breaking.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Sad about Sri Lanka

I am a bit despairing. The ceasefire is over in Sri Lanka and the shelling and firing have begun again. I keep reading reports about all the tragedy and devastation and human suffering and I just feel terrible. I don't even know what I can do to help apart from going to these protests and writing to politicians. I sign all the petitions and I comment on the news articles. But it's not enough.

I sometimes think about giving money to things like Vanni Mission and other organisations, but part of me is always fearful that secretly these things are funding the Tigers. I don't know where I stand with them. On the one hand I am glad they are fighting for our people and trying to reduce the discrimination against us. I can see why they exist - people can only be pushed so far. On the other hand, when I read that they are preventing civilians from leaving the war-zone, and when I hear about child soldiers and extortion and human shields and all of that, well, it makes me understand why they are condemned.

I just want the war to stop and the international community to step in and mediate and sort out a political solution. Ideally they need to devolve power in the North so that the Tamils finally have their own homeland. It's funny you know, when I read all the news articles and people complain about Tamil protesters and argue that this conflict is external and not the concern of the British people and why don't all these people just go over to Sri Lanka and protest there, I just think what idiots these people are. Of course we'd love to go back and live in Sri Lanka if we could, if we weren't discriminated against and treated as second class citizens. And of course we'd protest there if we could. Except if you speak out against the government you get silenced. Look at all the journalists and people who have been abducted in white vans never to be seen again. So Sri Lanka is a complete no-go if you've got any sanity. The problem is that there are millions of Tamil people who can't get out of there and so are stuck in the suffering. I wish it would all end. I know I'd love to live somewhere where I was actually meant to be, not just some immigrant.

At least maybe this war is doing one good thing in that it is highlighting to the world all the suffering in Sri Lanka. Perhaps a good solution will come out at the end after all.

Read more here from the BBC and here from the Independent.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My cousin's blog

Also check out my cousin's blog here.

It's about his summer in Ghana working with Engineers Without Borders.

Inspiring stuff!

Some random things

Am confused by some of the new icons on the blogger sign in page. Can people text me now? Or does that mean I can update my blog by phone? Hmm...

Should be working on my codebook, which is actually going ok, but am being a bit distracted. Liverpool vs Chelsea last night was so dramatic, I love watching football when it's like that. Been a bit of a housewife yesterday and today, doing all sorts of chores. It's funny how when you want to be distracted there's always something to do.

Very impressed to hear that Obama visited the MyBnk offices, that's awesome! Also pleased that there was a ceasefire in Sri Lanka - hopefully some of the trapped people made it out. Am still campaigning although it's slowed a bit. I want that war to end and end now. The Tamil people need their own land and then things will be ok.

It was Tamil New Year yesterday so am thinking and wishing for positive things this year. Starting with getting my work done!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Four days in Cambridge

Quick blog due to limited time! Am back at home in London and it's very nice indeed. I love hanging out with my brothers and parents, and also seeing lots of my friends from back home around here. Oxford isn't so far away but I still find I don't see people enough. Very much looking forward to seeing my girls this afternoon and playing some poker with an indoor picnic too (boo rain!)

Spent 4 days last week in Cambridge as a staff member on the Teach First Higher Education Access Programme for Schools. Basically we had 120 really bright 16/17 year olds on the residential course, where they undertook sample lectures and classes, completed workshops on interview skills and university applications, and lived a bit of a Cambridge student lifestyle for a few days. Selwyn college hosted us and were lovely. The food was awesome as was the punting and formal dinner and casino and debating and all the other exciting things we did. I led the Physics and Engineering group (NOT my subject specialism) and I have to admit, I learnt some stuff. My favourite part was the night trip to the Cambridge Observatory where we saw Saturn through a telescope made in 1927! We learnt some constellations and about space, it was totally awesome. Am inspired enough to take an astronomy course at some point.

Another poignant part of the trip was when we had to think about our lives and how they are finite and what we really wanted to achieve by the end of them. The kids made lists and we shared ideas. It got me thinking about some of the things that maybe I'd like to change and to do. It's good to reflect I think.

The kids were all really inspirational, really bright and exciting. I was impressed with their manner and attitude and work ethic. It made me want to teach again, but I guess it's unreal as this trip was it's own little bubble and real school isn't like that.

Ok best get on to some work, have a hectic afternoon and evening of socialising!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Some plans and general ramblings

We are making a butternut squash soup with our new blender, Glenda. It's the weekend and we have been super relaxy - doing cooking and playing squash and laying in bed and reading the papers and watching silly films. Awesome!

Have been back in Oxford for 4 days after going home and then having a meeting in Cardiff. Am currently debating whether to take Cardiff's funding offer or to take a year out and apply for the Civil Service. Have got it into my head that I should work for the government, and maybe eventually become an MP (fits my initials and all). But then again I have three years paid for in Cardiff and I can be near X there, so it's a tough decision. Oxford are "re-evaluating" my application, which doesn't sound promising, so I think I'll have to sack that.

Spurs threw away a win against Blackburn yesterday. Admittedly there were some dodgy reffing decisions, including Palacios' second yellow card, which led to him being sent off and Blackburn capitalising on our chaos to score two goals, but even accounting for that, Spurs still were lacklustre. I think Redknapp should have brought on Pav instead of Bent after about 70 minutes rather than sticking with him when nothing was happening. Spurs' goal only came from a debatable hand-ball penalty award so really we are not doing enough to finish in a decent position. My eyes are on next season now.

Next week I'm in Cambridge on a higher education programme with TF. We're helping Y12 kids get in the zone for uni applications, which I'm looking forward too. It's a packed programme, and I've forgotten what it's like to teach/manage people, but we'll see how it goes.

Been planting in the allotment, now about to watch No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. Back after Easter!

Friday, March 27, 2009

My children's books!

Wanted to come on here to note some of the children's book titles I've come up with, as I'm starting to forget them. At some point in my life I'll write them, hopefully.

- Reggie the Veggie (the tale of a vegetarian lion)
- The Brontosaurus Bus (dinosaurs discover eco-friendly transport)
- Indiana Bones (a skeleton travels around the world to collect the long-lost bones of his pet dog)

There were more, but I have forgotten them!

Just about to tighten up my Oxford DPhil ESRC one page proposal before submitting it, woo!

Have an annoying pain in my right shoulder, right elbow, and right wrist. Probably slept funny on it. Not good for typing.

Think birds are finally coming to the bird feeder, hurrah!

Looking forward to the weekend, lots of fun to be had in Oxford and London (not including my last shift of work!)


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Am still in weekend mode!

The weekend was so good (we had lots of time for us, plus X's family came up to visit for the first time), and contrary to the weather forecast, Oxford is still full of sun, so I am finding it increasingly difficult to get into work mode. By work, I mean academic, not telethon. That work is going pretty well. Spent the weekend trying to speak with loads of overseas contacts, in places as far flung as Taiwan, Hawaii (didn't actually call them, they are 10 hours behind us!) and West Coast America. Was really interesting speaking with some of the African ones and also ones in Europe. I can't believe the range of activities Old Wolfsonians are up to nowadays, it's awesome!

Have only had a few people who are straight out "hard nos" - people who just won't even consider contributing to the Annual Fund. Most people seem ok to spare at least a few minutes to hear about the college and also let us update their contact details and invite them back to college and that kind of thing. Had a really good session yesterday - I won the wine prize from the day before for writing the best follow-up postcard, and then I also got three pledges, one of which was £100 a year until further notice on direct debit, which earned me an extra bar of Toblerone and a Kinder egg! Bonus!

Only two more evening shifts and then Saturday to go at this job, then I'm done with it. It's been really good though, a lovely bunch of people, plus in theory it should make me focused in the day time (not happened so much in practice this week!). On the plus side though, I have been doing lots of email campaigning directed at our politicians to try and get them to put pressure on the Government of Sri Lanka to stop the genocide and war going on there. It's really terrible out there right now, they have to stop it soon, so many innocent lives are being lost. So I feel at least I am trying to do something, however small, that is useful and maybe will help. I have had a fair few decent replies back from MPs and MEPs so hopefully some big action from our government or an international organisation will happen soon and the suffering can stop.

We are going to London this weekend to watch the boys' varsity football match at Fulham. Craven Cottage is a lovely little stadium, I'm looking forward to it. It's also the boat race in the afternoon, which should be fun. Then on Monday we are planning on going to the London Transport Museum - they have an exhibition of lots of their old posters there, which I really want to see! Then I'm at home for a few days and then going to Cardiff. Why am I going to Cardiff....well, because I got one of their ESRC studentships to do my PhD! Woohoo! It's ace, it means I can study and be fully funded too! I can't believe it really! I'm probably going to take it, but I also have an application in for Oxford, and the one page summary proposal is due this Friday, so that's what I should be getting on with now. Should being the operative word. But classic fm is so relaxing and the room is full of sun, I just want to take my book out and relax!

I finished Call Me By Your Name, which was really good and so intense and accurate at the end, that a little tear drop escaped my eye. Find it if you can. Now reading The Road Home by Rose Tremain, which has had lots of good reviews. Hopefully it won't be too sad, although you know I have a weak spot when it comes to stories of immigrants.

Right, to work with me!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Finally holidays!

Term is done, woo hoo! And I have done the first of my four part qualitative methods project, and nearly the second part too, so things are looking good! We had some nice end of term things with my class, which was great, it's cool to meet everyone's partners and also to spend some non-stress time together, they're a good bunch.

Am shortly off to do my third night of alumni calling on the Wolfson Telethon. The first night was tough, but last night was more optimistic, and I got my first pledge, yeah!

Yesterday was X's birthday so I was busy doing lots of nice things. X liked the presents and we had birthday burritos for lunch and went for drinks in the KA in the evening with some of our old friends, it was a nice birthday. I love seeing our old friends again, they are good people and really make me laugh. X seemed to have had a great day, which makes me happy!

We went to see John Legend in Birmingham on Saturday night, which was totally awesome! This was part of the birthday package :) The Carling Academy is a pretty small venue so we got to see and hear him pretty well. He is really talented, his voice was lovely and he played the piano really well all night too. His backing band were excellent too! I had a great time, and even enjoyed the many trains we had to take from Oxford to London to Birmingham to get there. I'd definitely see him again next time he's here.

I've become a good little housewife I think. Now that classes are done, my days are up to me to manage. Obviously I have my qualitative methods project and also I have to do my ESRC proposal summary for Oxford (which will patently never make the cut, but I guess I should try) and also I have to get cracking on my thesis. But apart from that I have more time to do laundry and clean the kitchen and cook and do the shopping and work on the allotment. All nice things to me, physical work certainly has a good feeling to it sometimes.

I'm reading Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman, and it's ace, I really like it, but it's totally intense. I won't tell you what it's about, but just encourage you to pick it up. You can google it to see the praise.

What else is new? Nothing really, just enjoying the sun and looking forward to having a chilled weekend with my favourite and my best.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Loads of things!

Things have been really busy lately. I mean really busy. It's a Sunday night now and I'm knackered, really looking forward to an early night! We should be at Scrabble club but I've cancelled it this week so we can chill a bit.

So obviously since I've not been on here for aaages it'll be tricky to tell you everything I've done, so I'll just mention some choice highlights (which will most likely be the most recent things, since that is all I can remember!)

We had our housewarming last night, which was great! It's the first party X and I have hosted together and I think it was a success! It was lovely to have lots of our friends in one place and see them all and have fun together. I was really pleased, and felt really happy to be there.

I've played one footy match this weekend, and have run the line for three other games, so I'm just exhausted. Playing that much footy, including one game that went to extra-time and penalties, is serious hard work on the old knees and thighs. Still, need the money and it was a great experience - today was women's cuppers' final, which was a big game, and yesterday I did the Colleges XI and Centaurs varsity games, which are also very high profile games, so it was cool!

I got the Wolfson telethon job, which should be good fun (and again good for the money situation!) Basically it means working in a call centre calling up old members of college and asking them to donate funds, and also finding out what they're doing and keeping them involved in college life. I've never really done anything like that before, but I'm sure it'll be a good experience.

X took me to see Swan Lake on Friday night. It was a belated valentine's present, and it was just beautiful. I love the music and the ballet - it's all so elegant and graceful, like people are flying sometimes. It would be awesome to have that kind of skill and control in your body. I really enjoyed that too.

Spent last weekend at home as it was my Mum's 60th birthday, which was also great! My parents are pretty sociable and since the building works finished in the house, they've been trying to get back into organising things at home, so the party fitted the bill. Food was excellent and it was good company too, plus both my bros were back, so great to chatter with them too. Mum was glowing, I can't believe she's 60, she seems so much younger!

Went to the Blues night for our qualitative methods music consumption project. Managed to get someone to do the interview about music tastes, but then they bailed when it came down to it, so have to go and try again. The music was really good though - I've never been to a blues night but I'd def go again, the band were totally talented. They were the Sean Webster band - I think you can find them on myspace if you're interested.

X and I baked a fish pie from scratch, I'm very proud of this! We also saw Gran Torino this week, which was really well scripted and seriously moving, I would recommend it, Clint Eastwood was a real star and it's sad but also hilarious at times!

Lastly I've been taking part in some experiments - social science ones, not chemical ones! It's been good fun and quite good money, especially since for the past two I've got there too late so the experiment has had enough participants, so I've just pocketed the "show-up fee" and saved my time, cool!

It's 8th week now, one more week of classes and essays and then a bit of a break, yeah!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Essay done!

Got up early this morning and started stage 1 of my essay. Stage 2 took place between 1545 and 1638 in the SSL. Stage 3 has taken place in the last 30 minutes back in the flat. It is done. It is poor, but it is done. Roll on 9th week I say.

Reffed again this afternoon, girls' football is hard to ref, it's just so different from the boys' game. You have to be looking out for all the big dramas in a boys' game but in a girls' game all the issues are about whether the ball is in or out of play, and also whether the throw-in is a foul or not! There were some free-kicks, but I find my attention lapses. Also it's near impossible to predict where the ball will go - there are loads of those "whack it, whack it back, whack it again" sets of kicks that just confuse me entirely. Luckily I didn't get hit by the ball today, although I did have one player run into me once. I guess I'm just out of practice.

Classes were ok, just tired a bit really, need it to be end of term. Haven't done my redrafted proposal for Cardiff yet, crumbs! It's due on Monday and my supervisors need to see it before then. Will do it in the morning.

We watched Waterloo Road on BBC tonight. It was dramatastic! Literally every single scene had some issue in it, it was gripping stuff! A girl got shot at the end though, and there was also a storyline about a boy who was trying to sell babies, yuck, how wrong is that?!

Ok to bed with me. Rest time :)