Weekend update

Friday night - reunion with the girls from school at Puja's place. Fruli, yum yum, Curacao, yum yum, cherry brandy, yum yum, Black label, oh dear. A night of fun and poker, won the first round (whoop whoop) then battled HW till almost 5 in the morning, ultimately losing. Four hours of sleep wasn't good, but the night was worth it.

Sat night - having slept through the day once I got home, went to a wedding reception. Nice and fancy schmancy. Crucially, the news broke that my cousin Dhushi has got engaged to her Muslim boyfriend. Only slightly controversial in the traditional sense - more alarming that now there is only one female cousin before it is officially my turn to tie the knot. Crumbs.

Sunday - went to the gym. Got screwed over by new parking restrictions and so landed myself a ticket. My "unnecessary costs of driving" now exceed £1000 i.e. a whole grand, a whole month's salary essentially wasted due to my poor driving. Don't even get me started on car insurance aka tax on the honest driver.

Aaaaanyway....had a nice piano lesson, then went to play Scrabble with Mouche, CK and Gid. Mouche is alive and well, and we bonded, very nice. Gid won the Scrabble, but that was ok as he had no sleep last night and is busy seeing two different boys on the trot. CK was all good, but then he got a phone call with some bad news about his grandfather. Am still a little shocked on his behalf, but hope he's ok. Had four pints of Guinness and haven't planned any lessons...the cumulative hangover is growing.

Busy day tomorrow, but, crucially, am seeing the doctor to think of ways to fix my head. Sure you'll love to hear the suggestions, so stay tuned.

Shout out to Yeen, by the way, looong blog no see. Nice to have you back.

Thursday

I think today was a bit of turning point. I do have some ranting to do, but I guess it's not strictly ranting since I'm not complaining, more simply stating the facts.

Can't remember if I already said, but my brand new birthday present car turned three years old a coupla weeks ago, and so had to be MOT-ed. And, predictably, it failed. The most annoying reason is that there is no alloy wheel locking kit in the car since the sodding thieves nicked that as well. This means that all the wheel nuts have to replaced, pricey. I think this pushes the grand cost of putting my car in the care of another maths teacher to over £600. Needless to say I won't be doing that again. Apparently the front right tyre also had a deep cut in it, there was some kinda leaky gasket, and something else wrong with it too. Excellent.

I had a double observation (two people in observing) with my Y8s before lunch today. We went to the computer room, and it was mostly going fine, except little D was being a bit of psycho. I knew he was in a hyper mood even as he stepped into the room, but I think the excitement of computers + a room change + having visitors was just too much for him to cope with, and so his behaviour went right out the window. I finally had to kick him out the lesson when he started jumping from the chair onto the desk. Made the mistake of letting him back into the room, where he proceeded to wind up the pupils next to him, then run around the room, then sit at my desk and start writing over the flipchart that I had prepared and was currently being projected to the class. I took him to the LSU straight after the lesson to get them to talk to him and try and figure out what went wrong. A turning point for me really, since whereas before this type of thing would have made me pretty stressed and wired, today I didn't really care. Sure it wasn't a good observation, but what can I do really? Either I am feeling apathy, or I am actually so stressed I don't notice stress any more (this could be true - last night I woke up in a panic at 4am convinced it was time to go to school and so desperately thinking of excuses to get out of it - good stuff).

Anyway, on a good note, my interview at MyBnk went really well. The lady in charge there was really inspiring and we got on really well. The project seems to have a lot of independence for the intern, and it's something that I believe in and think I could actually make a valuable contribution to, so fingers crossed on that front. Also, went and had a drink with the Mulberry TFTs after my interview - they'd had their final assessment today and it all went super for them, so am very pleased. I'm doing my Second School placement at Mulberry in two weeks time, which should be really interesting (all girls, predominantly Muslim, state school with a VIth form - very different to us!)

On a final note, am very much looking forward to the weekend, and as such, I will leave you with this delightful rant from Puja:

Hi girls,

i thought i would email you both and have a rant because the computer system at work has been f**king up since Monday and i have not been able to do any work and it is tres tres annoying. and outlook keeps messing up so i have clients calling up wondering why all of their emails are bouncing back and not coming through. i may scream. but i wont.

also the person i sit next to is somewhat annoying. he constantly (and i mean alllllll the f**king time) slurps/chews/bites away at his nails and hands and its pretty disgusting to be honest. and extremely distracting. but i dont know how nicely to tell him to shut the f**k up.

anyhoo rant over (and i mite add that the slurping is continuing while i write this email) and excitement about Fri!! its going to be lots of fun me thinks. dinner wise - do u want to eat at mine? i though that we could just order a pizza in which would save us having to move and go out and get food. what do u think?

Hwc is stressing about work a lot so we will have to try and cheer her up! she is def coming but will not be at mine till later - prob about 9ish. but she did say that she will prob stay over so we have the whole nite to play 304 and drink! whoohoo!

righty ho - im going to go and have a wander around the office to get away from the disgustingness that is the person sat next to me.

See u 2mrw dudettes!

Love Puja xx

PS - slurp slurp (one of the ppl i work with described it as 're-juicing'. isnt that the most grossest word ever? i think it mite even be worse than 'moist').

Dreams

My gosh, I had some awful dreams last night. I can't figure out whether it is better to have nightmares or to not sleep at all - these being the two delightful options I am currently picking from.

Anyway, my favourite one involved my maths classroom somehow turning into big boat at sea, a huge boat in fact, Titanic-esque. I am teaching my Y7 in our boat-classroom and things are going ok, when suddenly the whole boat somehow crashes or capsizes or something, and we are all at sea. I see loads of my kids just struggling in the water, trying to stay above the waves. Some of them are using their rucksacks as floats. Amazingly, I have a surf board, and I am bodyboarding on it, trying to pick up kids to save them. But they keep falling off and one by one they all disappear under the water until I am left alone in the sea.

Disturbing. I think I may have to concede defeat and go see the doctor soon to get those screws tightened up.

Some thoughts on Y10

I think I am finally taking that long awaited "stress-day". Much vaunted over the last two terms, it is now time. Excellent. Oh it's a slipppery slope though, now that I'll do it once, it means that I can do it again. Kinda like Pringles, dangerous. I am still annoyed at myself that I need to do this, but I think it's the best plan.

In other news, have sorted out my second school placement at Mulberry School for Girls in Stratford. It's an all girls state school with a HUGE ethnic minority percentage and a VIth form too - should be educational.

And finally, it's been about 5 lessons since I've been with top set Y10, and I'm still not impressed. Given that when we were in Y10 we were actually sitting our GCSEs, I am a bit concerned at this lot.

There are one or two in that class that seem to be real stars at maths, but they're nothing like the Y9. In fact, there are a good few "strange ones" in that class, and the general behaviour, motivation, attitude etc. is all a little bit sub-standard. Our HoD has been working really hard with that group, but I've noticed really that Y10 as a whole year group are actually quite a lot of trouble - there are a lot of kids in that year that don't seem to have learning as a priority. And that's besides all the messed up families, SEN issues, and usual teenage turmoil.

Perhaps the Mayfield data handling coursework project isn't really showing them off in their best light as yet, but still...let's just say I'm glad they're not really my class. Oooh but one funny thing in that lesson - one of the boys hands me back a pair of scissors and says something like "sorry Miss, I can't use them, too stiff". Then he and the boys around him watch me to see if I will react to the innuendo. All I can come up with is "perhaps they're brand new scissors" before walking away. I hear their disappointment that I've not taken the bait and laugh inside.

Today and not today

Today was a pretty typical Saturday in lots of ways, and it also wasn't.

Before I start the story, some good points from Friday, when I was liking school for the second day in a row! :

1. My new Y7 class - after some moving round of the Y7 sets, I have a new, slightly bigger, Y7 group. Finally I get to do all the things that I shoulda done right at the start of the year e.g. expectations for behaviour, learning, equipment, attitudes etc. I think sense good things will happen with this class.

2. Expectations, again, for the London Youth games football team. REY laid down the law to the girls, and I think it'll work, so no more moaning and negativity, excellent!

So, onto today. Well, the day itself was pretty standard so let's move on to the evening. Firstly, it was my mother's old school's fundraiser/reunion night. This was actually pretty great - particularly since my mother is President of her old school society, so lots of people know her, and thus want to know me. But, from a less selfish perspective, the evening was really well run, the food was good, the entertainment was great, and I was so proud of my mother's speech and her dance and things, I could see how much she'd put into it and it had all paid off. So yes, stage 1 was good.

After that, I made my way to Nina's birthday party at The Moose Bar off Oxford Street. Before that, another good thing - Bertie called me :) Yes, it was lovely to hear his voice and also find out that he is back in good old Blighty, for one week only (just like Phil Collins) and so I am looking forward to seeing his lovely self. Back to the story then. At Redbridge station I was just minding my own business waiting for a westbound train. An eastbound train pulls into the station and lots of people get off. Among them was a typical Essex couple - tall blondey sporty looking man, shorter blondey slightly under-dressed woman. The woman was grumbling about something, and then, as she passed me, she stopped, turned around, and came up to speak at me. "What are you then? Muslim or Hindu or what?" I could sense trouble so I replied that I had no firm religious beliefs (not true, but really, she should be glad I replied at all). She went on to criticise my dress - I guess her point was that my skirt was too short, but she couldn't really get straight to the point, preferring instead to mumble incoherently. Anyway, I was a bit cross at this, but decided not to retaliate since she looked a bit like a heroin addict and perhaps she might have thumped me, which would make things difficult at school on Monday: "why do you have that black-eye"..."oh because I wasn't dressed like a good Asian girl"...."so did you Dad hit you?"...."no, it was this wiry little white woman at the station". Hmmm.

I couldn't figure out how I felt about this woman. No-one has ever really said that I was dressed inappropriately before, but then part of me was kinda glad that this middle-aged woman was concerned about the "youth" (I heard this word amongst her ramblings). Still, I was annoyed since it seems like she was only critical of me because I wasn't white, when it shouldn't matter - if that's what she believes, she should say it to everyone, regardless of colour. Also, can't believe she lives in Redbridge - where has she been hiding all this time?

CK called me up, asking what I was doing tonight. Turned out he had VIP passes to see the Sugababes (v. cool) but managed to bring Meera and Gid along to The Moose afterwards. This was a good and fun thing - I like them. Was also pleased to see some Forest crew tonight, particularly Ange, Liz and Fi, whom I haven't seen in a good while.

On to the final strangeness then. In the cab on the way home (no nightbus tonight!) Ange and Liz started discussing the finer points of drink driving and why I was such a cretin for doing it. It's true, I agree with them, I'm an idiot for ever driving home after a few drinks, let alone regularly. They tried to make me justify it, and I couldn't really, only on the grounds of convenience. But, despite taking their arguments fully on board, I'm pretty sure I will keep doing it. Why? I dunno really, perhaps because I think it's worth the risk. This would be an ok reason, if it wasn't so darn selfish. Lots of things are wrong in what I do, but I think this is an obvious one that I should try and fix. Add it to the list.

All in all a pretty balanced night, but not looking forward to the planning tomorrow (no hangover - yep I can sense that already!) but loving the weekend :)

Good and funny things about school

Finally a good day :) Because:

1. I got enough sleep.
2. I finally got to teach actual "challenging" maths i.e. something above what I did in primary school. My subject mentor has lent me the top 7 kids in her top set Y9 for me to do A/A* material with, and it's great! Yippee! Also I am working with my HoDs top set Y10 group on Mayfield coursework, which is actually quite good fun when you don't have to spend 10 lessons going over what the mean, median, mode and range before you can even start.
3. Y7 parents' evening - this was very tiring but good to speak to parents and tell them how much their kids have achieved over the year. On a slight downer, lots of lovely troublemakers from the top set will be moved down into my group tomorrow, which will obviously cause some nice chaos, excellent.
4. Hitting the gym. Shoulda done this a long time ago. My general fear that I might actually whack a kid has pleasantly subsided (I am convinced I have that IED thing that the Swiss Re banker who whacked his daughter has, bless her soul. Although obviously not as intense as him).
5. My Professional Tutor is returning! Yay Babs! And apparently she sent my professional mentor in school an email full of criticism about my mentor's lack of work, excellent! Aaah, despite all her controversy, I am a big fan of Babs, can't wait to tell her all the drama.

So, to reward you all for putting up with my grumbling etc. here are some funnies my uncle sent me. Yes, they are to do with exams, but this is supposed to be an education blog. Supposedly.

More complaining about my job

Last night I realised it's been about 3 months since I officially started hating my job. The drain of work is still nice and strong, sigh. Despite only being properly back for one day, and not even having to teach my own classes today (just team teach), it was still pretty hard to bear. Signs that I am slowly giving up the fight include a Y10 waving her phone in my face to deliberately wind me up, and me just ignoring her; a Y7 boy kissing his teeth at me, and me just ignoring him; the usual complaining and bitching in school, and me joining in; and, best of all for last, me fantasising about deliberately sabotaging my application for Qualified Teacher Status (QTS) so that I can get out of my contract. What on earth has happened?

Assuming I just plod through these next 6 weeks to the summer, then come September I think I will be teaching 5 classes of maths, 18 periods a week. This isn't too bad I guess, but I don't really like teaching maths and now this is just more of it. Boooo. I am entirely jealous of the '05s - being the final straight is just so distant.

I don't think it helped that I read an article published by the Mathematical Association about problems recruiting and retaining maths teachers. In his 2004 report, Making Mathematics Count, Professor Adrian Smith estimated that the current shortfall in mathematics teachers is around 3500; that over 30% of those teaching maths had no post A-level qualification in the subject; that the turnover rate doubled between 1991 and 2001; and that a higher proportion of mathematics teachers are reaching retirement age in comparison with teachers of other subjects. Worrying signs for maths education.

Based on this report, researchers from the Institute of Education wondered if there was something specific in maths teaching that was causing the problem. So, between 2004 and 2005 they carried out interviews with a range current and former maths teachers (old teachers, young teachers, from all regions, holding all kinds of positions of responsibility, with varying degrees of teaching experience, and from a variety of backgrounds) to determine reasons for joining and staying in/leaving the profession.

Some key stats from the report include: that 50% of current Heads of Departments do not intend to continue in the role, and 33% intend to seek promotion outside of the department. Of the former maths teachers, 67% are now employed entirely outside of education. One-tenth of the sample of current teachers, and one-fifth of the sample of former teachers reported detrimental effects on their health caused by their jobs, in the forms of stress, anxiety or both.

Main reasons for joining the maths teaching profession: good at maths, had a maths degree, enthusiasm for or interest in maths, practical reasons (e.g. changing from PE teaching when older, availability of maths teaching posts, teaching following redundancy, dislike of current occupation, financial incentives to train), interaction with young people, being a role model, teachers in the family, stability/security/prospects.

Main reasons for leaving: excessive workload, inadequate facilities, lack of collegial support, admin tasks associated with teaching, conflicting responsibilities/overburdened with responsibilities, changes to the curriculum, negative attitudes toward the subject, high-stakes testing, pressure, whole-school issues such as SLT style and pupil behaviour.

The most common reason for staying in maths teaching concerned the enjoyment obtained from work. The second most common reason for staying concerned difficulties with changing careers. Aaaaaaaaargh, this does not bode well.

In other news, yesterday we had our last subject studies day, which is a pretty big hurdle. Next year we will have to teach 6 more days since we will have no subject studies days. We will also have to do cover. Grrr. Anyway, we went on a maths trail in the morning in Westminster - 3.5 hours of unsupervised time, excellent. The trail was reviewed, some new ideas for the four sections (roman numerals, shapes, numbers, calculations) were jotted down, and then the pub was swiftly found. A nice pint by the riverside in the middle of London on a sunny day - beautiful. After that we returned to our Tower Hamlets training venue and discussed WA4 (high expectations...hmmm), the return to Canterbury, resources and sessions for the '07s, and things we wished we had known at the start. Then a lady from NCETM (National Centre for Excellence in the Teaching of Mathematics) turned up to chat to us about it and why we should join. This was a bit pointless - our tutor had already raved a fair bit about it, so why do more? Those who wanted to join, have by now, so no need to keep on at it. At one point the lady said something about "wearing two hats", which is our tutor's tag-line. This made me laugh out loud, I had to break into a fake cough to disguise it.

Well, that is enough rambling for now. I hope your jobs are more enjoyable :)

The last 24 hours

It turns out that next door were filming an advert for Asian TV yesterday. This was quite exciting at 8pm, but far less exciting at 11pm, when the little boy drummers for the advert were still banging their drums. It became rather annoying when they began taking down the sets at 1am. But I got really cross at 4am when they decided to have loud conversations on the phone, outside. Grrr. Also, apparently on Sunday morning they had had a huge row with the people who live on the other side, which woke everyone up too. Naughty neighbours. I was very close to opening my window and shouting out "this isn't a council estate, please be quiet", but then realised that was probably inappropriate, so instead tossed and turned in bed. Consequently, was rather late into our training day this morning, whoops.

Good thing really, managed to miss some of the warm-up introductory speeches, but caught the rest of the day. Was quite good, they had another educational consultant in, this time to talk about "stimulating teaching, exciting learning, and assessment for learning". He was a good speaker, kinda like a stand-up comedian, lots of funny anecdotes and chatter, which warmed up the crowd. Plus, rather than trying to get us to brainstorm and group discuss and all those other standard INSET activities, he just cut out all the nonsense and told us his ideas straight up. Despite the vacant look I carried for most of the day, I appreciated this.

He suggested lots of things for stimulating teaching:

• classroom management - starting as you mean to go on, seating and displays, ground rules, roles in group work, processes to get activities started
• group work - managed through roles and clearly structured tasks
• visual mind maps with interactive links
• sharing learning objectives
• confidence through understanding key vocab
• matching card games
• blockbusters - using software based on the game show
• snowball - this is a great idea - basically start the class off by asking them to think of one of something e.g. one factor of 120, then get them into pairs and challenge each pair to find 4 factors of 120 i.e. double what they already have. After this, the pairs get into fours and they have to come up with 8 factors between them. I like this very much, will try it as a starter soon
• true or false using show-me boards
• question time - pick a group as the experts, give them ten mins to prepare their knowledge, then the rest of the class challenge them with questions
• pass the question - in pairs pupils write the question on the top half of a piece of paper and the model answer on the bottom half, rip up the top halves and pass them around the pairs, who then have to figure out the model answers
• reviews - support groups, revealing answers on IWB, matching dominoes, assessment review e.g through ActiVote (we have these sets in the maths department, I really wanna learn to use them, they seem ace), celebration review e.g. through issue of merit stickers, learning logs with specific targets for each pupil breaking down learning objectives into little tasks so that progress can be easily monitored

He did similar things for learning, emphasising that students are more excited about learning when they feel confident and clear about the work. He suggested using open ended activities that have a degree of creative control but that require understanding rather than just a search for the "right answer". He also encouraged the use of stimuli e.g. videos, sound clips, pictures, writing frames etc. to support work. He said that good writing requires purpose, product and audience. He was very anti-SATS and OFSTED, which surprised me, but which appealed to our staff I think.

Finally, with regards to assessment, I particularly paid attention to his talk on feedback and feedforward. He said that targets and assessment criteria should be shared with the class and put into more friendly language so that students are clear on what they need to achieve (without dumbing the language down too much - students need to be able to speak the language of assessment). He said that we shouldn't mark too much work, but that we should give clear written feedback on the work we do mark, and also give feedforward i.e. targets that pupils should work towards in their next piece of work so that they have something explicit they can do to improve.

So yes, we learnt quite a lot today on our last INSET day of the year. However, bad news too - next year five of our nine INSET days will be spent moving into the new Academy, which doesn't inspire me too much. Further we are expecting HMI next term PLUS a ULT inspection. Rubbish. I better make the most of this half of the term, before things go all crazy again.

In other news, tomorrow I have my last subject studies day, in which I think we are doing some kinda maths trail in London, exciting stuff. Also, I have an interview at MyBnk on Weds after school for a summer internship - I really wanna work there, it's a great idea, very inspiring! Will let you know how that goes.

And if you have time, check this out. Hahaha, pirate chatter, shiver me timbers.

I'm back!

I'm back and running off that weird energy you get when you are knackered. Life is good, my holiday was great, I love Toronto, I love my cousins, I love my uncles and aunts, I love all my family over there and the general wholesome feeling of the place. I think it's the only place I go where I really feel like I have nothing pressing I have to do. Maybe that is what all holidays should feel like.

A more detailed update will follow, but some key thoughts:

1. I am adding The Pursuit of Happyness to my favourite films. I watched it on the flight back too and it almost made me cry both times. Too deep.

2. I wish I had a digital camera to record some of this stuff. I keep meaning to get this sorted. Humph.

3. Three girls from my school-life past have got in touch with me through the wonder of Facebook. This is a very nice and good thing. Two of my uncles are now on Facebook and at least 5 of the teachers from school are on Facebook. This is a kinda nice and good thing, but being the paranoidly guilty soul that I am, I fear only bad can come of this. Obviously no-one will care enough to actually stalk my activities but at any rate I think I will try and be a little less blase with my thoughts and actions. Gone are the days when misdemeanors were quickly forgotten.

And finally I think they are shooting a music video next door - strange. There's a huge red and black limo outside, the house is covered in lights, there's loads of cameras and photolights and stuff, and a red carpet too. Wonder what's happening...

Six weeks of school to go - good thing tomorrow is a training day! Can't believe it's the last bit of term for the year already!

Oh Canada!

I am in Canada, woo hoo! I haven't met this person yet, but I hope to.


Flight was delayed and so spent 10 hours on the plane and a further hour in Customs & Immigration. However, lots of lovely Canadian people on the flight made up for this.

Crucially, since I have been here, I have eaten enough for food a week. Of special note are the four puddings we each polished off at the wedding yesterday (by we, I mean my cousins and I - and yes, it was a lovely wedding) and also the two buckets of KFC we ate last night after an epic game of charades. The charades was especially fun since the youngest player was 5 and thinks that whatever you are acting, the answer MUST be the Lion King. Added dynamic of boys vs. girls brought out a bitter rivalry but we made our peace after chicken.

Also met my littlest cousin who is almost 2; the last time I saw her she was just two weeks old, bless! She waddles around and squawks a lot - there is definitely a duck connection on there somewhere. Alarmingly, I am 22 years older than her. This means that when she is finally old enough to enjoy a beverage with me, I will be 40. Eeek!

Drama-Central

This is where I've been living the past week. Now, apologies for not posting sooner, and also apologies for this post since it won't contain much detail. Essentially I have had a very stressful week. Key events include:

1. TF Coach matching event and associated hangover on Tuesday night
2. Having all the things nicked outta the boot of my car and glove compartment sometime on Tuesday night/Weds morning (including my teaching stuff, my wallet, house keys, school keys, expensive sunglasses, USB stick with personal files on it, and all my PE stuff - special gym trainers are gone, boo hoo)
3. Being very cross with the colleague I left my car with, who I suspect either forgot to lock the car (how could someone do that in Walthamstow?!) or nicked the things herself. Negative thoughts, I know, but I am still cross.
4. Spending hours in 3 different police stations over two days.
5. Having a semi-black eye and looking old and haggard and rough.
6. Walking outta school on Weds and then being royally bollocked by my folks. Deservedly.
7. Having OFSTED in on Thursday, having lost my lesson plans for the day, made new lesson plans, finding that the server has crashed so all plans for ICT lessons were defunct, making a third set of lesson plans, and otherwise having a very intensive day.
8. HSBC maths day today, again running activities, which was a bit stressful, but really today has been the best day all week.
9. No petrol in car and no money to buy petrol so adding hours to my journey time whereever I've been going. Not that I've been going anywhere exciting since I have no keys to get back into our house.
10. Minimum sleep and food and general smileyness over the past few days.

Actually, that is more detail than I intended, but clearly you can't wait to hear the full story. Have to pack for my flight to Toronto tomorrow, but will update as soon as poss. Woo half-term, the light at the end of the tunnel!

Barriers to actually working

Grrrrr. Trying to get anything at all done at school today was near impossible. The sodding server was still down so you couldn't print anything or save to the server. Emails were really temperamental, as was internet access. One of the photocopiers was broken. There was exams in the maths block, which disrupted lessons. The online registration system and the reporting system were both still playing up. Nothing was working, and so it was near impossible for the teachers to be working. Plus, it was raining.

See how dependent on technology we are? But really, it's so annoying when you're trying to do the most straightforward task, but everything just holds you back. Grrr. Another source of workplace stress.

In other news, I was sent on an errand by two of the members of my department last Friday, to buy chocolates for the Y11s. This errand cost me precisely £32.80. Now, I don't want to seem tight, but I'm not a Y11 tutor and had no real desire to spend what is essentially a week's worth of teaching Y8 on a sugar-fest for some right clowns. The question is, how do I get my money back now? I hate owing people money, but even worse, I hate being owed money. But I don't wanna be hassling them for the cash, but then again, if I leave it too long, it'll be too hard to ask for it back. Ho-hum, what an exciting dilemma. Not.

Oooh and a quick update on my wild mane of hair. I think it's almost 3 months since I last washed it with shampoo, and it feels pretty good. Washing with just water seems to work, even with horrid smokey hair or sweaty gym hair. It has a kinda natural oil feel to it, which isn't too bad, plus I swear it's stronger and thicker. So yes, going strong on that front.

Nothing else of note to say except that I have so much paperwork to generate for my "portfolio" for OFSTED that I'm just not gonna do any of it. Mwahahaahaha.

Catch up and upcoming stuff

Think it has been a while since I posted. Busy busy as usual. Mostly being hungover. Whoops.

School happened, can't remember anything too exciting or of note, except that we only have one week till half-term! Ooooh and also this week Y11 are away on study leave and Y10 are on exams, yay! Surely this will become boring at some point, but at the moment it sounds pretty good to me.

Yet another Sunday not spent lesson planning. I don't know when I reached the stage where I thought I didn't have to work on a Sunday (by work, I mean specific school work....of course I still spend lots of time doing other work-type things). Today, then, I wrote two covering letters for two summer project applications - one working with Business in the Community and one working with MyBnk. Both sound exciting projects that we can really get our teeth into and contribute something of value. Was also gonna apply for the Institute of Philanthropy, and this one at Hansabank about developing a stress diagnostic tool for banks, but after it taking soooo long just to write the first two, I couldn't be bothered. Plus the Hansabank one is for 4 weeks, and it's in Estonia (yep, clearly I didn't read the application info properly the first time round) so scrap that - like I'm gonna work for 4 out of my 5 weeks of summer!

What else? Went out on the lash for Suze's birthday on Friday night, good solid fun, my feet are still cut up though, and the Corona hangover was shocking (think it might have been the sambuca actually). Lots of lovely drama anyway, including drunken idiots sneaking into photos and causing fights, and other drunken hilarious dancers getting into trouble everywhere, funny funny.

Spent most of Saturday whimpering about and watching the rubbish FA Cup final (have seen more exciting U11 girls' football matches, really). Went out with the girlie wirlies to Binky Bina Ballerina's birthday dinner on Saturday night, a nice and funny affair full of reminiscing and silly chatter. Binky I wish you were in London more. Sparrow, I hope you are getting better on some level, and Puja, you need a nickname....I can't believe you don't have one! HW props to you for bailing on your other plans for us, good stuff.

Taught them to play 304, a card game like bridge, except more mysterious. Played it with the crazy Venice cards, they loved it. Am now convinced that we are all grandmas...but very excited about the thought of a whole evening playing cards and Mahjong!

Meant to hit the gym hard today after all the junk we ate last night, but that plan was scuppered by:

1. My mother holding a committee meeting in our lounge, thus requiring me to help with stuff. This was particularly funny since at the next reunion thingie my mother's committee is doing a big dance and so lots of time was spent dancing around the front room.
2. My father inviting my uncle and family round to look at the new staircases (what an exciting invitation! I bet you're all jealous I've not invited you round to see the stairs). This, in principle, wouldn't have involved me, but my uncle has two young sons, Krishan (4) and Danushan (3), who required entertaining. Thus, instead of crosstraining and lifting at the gym, we watched 45 minutes of Power Rangers, counted chairs in the lounge, talked to ants, learnt about pipes, and ate food so that we would become big and strong. Fun times!

Well this week is hectic hectic with highlights including a coach matching event on Tuesday, OFSTED on Thursday, and the HSBC trip on Friday. This time next week I'll be in Toronto, woohoo!

Have a good week!

Funny Ginger + ranting

I am not well and about to go to bed. But before that, some ranting.

Forgot to mention last time that when that little boy lost the plot and started shouting at me, he did it in front of another teacher, who at the time tactfully didn't get involved, but then later told the rest of the maths department about what had happened. This explains why my Head of Department tried to have a serious chat with me (think I avoided that one) and why my subject mentor asked me, completely out of the blue, who I would get rid of from my Y8 group if I could get rid of anyone. Obviously the fact that the kids think of me as weak is one thing, but it's lovely to know that the rest of my department thinks I am a bit rubbish too.

Hmmm, so maybe this is why I don't feel well, my body is wimping out of having to face more of the music tomorrow.

Berts, really, now I don't remember the conversation at all. I'm glad I was nice, but my memory is clearly shot to pieces - maybe it is taking the assault intended for my liver?

Anyway, in funnier news, I am stealing this from Ginger's drunken FB note cos it's just that funny!

Ahhhh everyone loves a good school anecdote. Well, not when I'm drunk and ranting about them, but none-the-less, let's get some of them down for posterity.


Year 9 girl: "Miss, am I a sperm?"
Me: "Errrrr.....no".
Girl: "But, miss, Racquel said I was".

Hmmm.

Same girl: "Miss, where are you from?"
Me: "Birmingham".
Girl: "Oh, is that why you're so posh, then?"

If only she knew.

My favourite anecdote - everyone has probably heard it by now:
Year 11 science. Thursday afternoon. Have alreday been called a ginger bitch. Not feeling great about the lesson. Go to demo group 1 metals in water. Slightly over-enthuse with the sodium. Massive explosion; smoke fills the room, a loud bang is heard and sparks rain down on us all. A piece of paper is set on file. Many girls now screaming and hiding under tables saying that I'm trying to kill them. One student shows me her t-shirt; it is covered in little singe marks from the sparks. Thankfully, she thinks this is "cool".

Once girls have dismissed, have a little cry in the deputy head's office.

Oh holy Jesus.

Obviously, some children have no sense of what is acceptable:
"Miss, how is your sex life going?"
"Miss are you on your period, because you're in a really bad mood tooday".

Me being inappropriate when yr13 girl answers phone in the lesson:
(pointing at phone) "Oi, Debbie, can we have it off please?!"
My subsequent giggling kind of undermined the telling off.

Bizarreness:
(in the middle of a lesson when I am dissecting a pig's heart):
"Urgh miss it looks like a pussy."

Observing at a mixed school, also in Hackney:
yr 7 boy: "Oh miss, you're giving me a boner".

A lovely Turkish yr 9 girl is using her Turkish-English dictionary to help with her work - she is trying to describe an experiemnt where we looked at kitchen roll soaking up water and she is trying to describe this:
"The flaccid tissue will take up more water."
Poor girl had mis-translated "soft". Once I had figured this out I explained that flaccid was probably not the best word to use. Bless her. Struggled to keep a straight face.

A good thing and a bad thing

I am worried. Today one of my Y8s completely lost the plot and started ranting and shouting and crying at me. And I kept my cool and just soaked it all up. Strange.

Those of you who know me from back in the day will testify that I have a bit of a temper. Bit being a slight under-exaggeration. Perhaps the only girl to actually commit a violent act ever in the history of our wonderfully prim and proper independent school, I had a reputation as a bit of a hard nut. Unjustified really, I think I just lost control occassionally. But only cos I was immature and bit of an idiot.

But today, really, I remember feeling like I wanted to smack someone for only about a second, and then it all just flowed outta me and I was calm. I called the kid's mother and she was very supportive, and I think I will try and demand an apology from him on Thursday. But with regards to this little episode ruining my whole day, well, it didn't.

The reason I am worried is that I think I have become apathetic. The kid's behaviour should concern me I'm sure, I should be dwelling on it and thinking about how to fix the situation and how to avoid it happening in the future. But I don't really care.

Aaah it's a slippery slope, soon they'll all be walking all over me. Burn-out anyone? Hahaha, yes, paranoia too.

In other news, I think my Y7s are loving our current work multicultural maths. So far we've learnt to count, read, write and do sums in Chinese and Roman numerals, solved a number puzzle written in lots of different numbers scripts, learnt about time zones, and made Vedic square patterns. Still to come are lots of Vedic maths techniques using computers, rangoli patterns, islamic art, multiplication from around the world, and tangrams/egg-grams. I love teaching this way, it's so much more fun than textbook work and the kids are genuinely enthusiastic about it. Bless, maybe I care after all.

Mind your f-ing language

Just watched an excellent Cutting Edge titled "Mind your f-ing language". Read the program synopsis here.

Basically it was about a school and it's swearing problems and the approaches it took to solving them. There was no real swearing policy and kids argued that swearing was a way for them to express their feelings. Hidden cameras showed the full extent of their foul language, some of which even made me blush. However, when privately surveyed, many pupils said they would be happier in an environment were swearing was more of a rarity rather than standard noise pollution. Poignantly, one child pointed out that perhaps poverty and injustice were bigger problems in the world than the odd c-word here and there. After consulting specialists and visiting other schools, the focus school implemented a one-week zero-tolerance no swearing policy, the results of which were mixed, but which ultimately led to the introduction of the school's first swearing policy.

The whole program was engaging and well made (clearly I don't get enough swearing at school so I need to watch it in my free time!) and got me thinking about swearing at our Academy. It's pretty low-level in classrooms but the corridors and playgrounds are peppered with colourful expletives. The perpetrators are hardly ever picked up on their language - I'm just as guilty as the rest when it comes to turning a blind eye at the swearing of random children. However, I'm sure it'd be a much nicer and friendlier place if the kids just thought about what they said a bit more carefully. Though that would imply a certain level of maturity not even common in university graduates!

Today was unusual in that there was swearing in both my Y8 and Y11 classes. I think the Y8 one was accidental - we were looking at pictures of cars as part of the car hire investigation and one child said one of the cars was "sh*t", but then clamped her mouth over her hand and apologised profusely. She got a formal warning for that. In the Y11 lesson one girl called a boy a "div" and then when I asked her to leave the room, she started complaining that it was all so "f*cking unfair". She got a full incident sheet for that one.

Anyway, a point was made in the programme that if children swear in the classroom it shows a lack of respect for their learning environment, classmates and teachers. I think I agree with this - I mean, I don't swear at them, no matter how much I want to! In fact my Y11s mock me for saying "whoopsie daisy" when I drop something, and my Y7s know they can't even say "crap" in front of me. But still, from tomorrow I think I will up my position on this.

Finally, this week is the last for Y11s before study leave. You'll be pleased to know that three of my kids forgot to bring their practice papers, thus completely missing the point of today's lessons. Worse, two of them proceeded to have a spirited conversation about farts and how best to release them in a formal setting. I was not pleased but frankly have given up trying to make them understand that perhaps GCSEs are a bit more important than they seem to think. I'd hate for them to learn their lessons the hard way, but I fear they may have to.

Drinking and Walking

I wanna have a nap but feel the need to update the old bloggy first.

I've spent all day with Y7 kids on the Bridges to Africa walk. 10km, 10 bridges, 1000 kids, and pouring rain. You know I loved it though, actually loads of fun, and our kids were so well behaved and good and didn't moan about being tired or bored or cold or anything like that. Even if they did start thinking about moaning, all we had to say was "think of the children in Africa" and they got on with it. Plus I caught up with lots of other TFers, many of whom I haven't seen in ages, so that was wicked too. A lovely day for a worthy cause :)

In other news, here is what I have drunk this weekend, in chronological order (I love the word chronological, it's ace!):

1. A third of a bottle of cabernet shiraz
2. A pear Kopperberg
3. A vodka lemon and lime
4. A jagerbuller (or Jaegerbomber as Puja thinks it's called, but really she is wrong)
5. A double SoCo and lemonade (I think...?)
6. Two generous measures of Chivas Regal on the rocks (my father is so proud of his daughter's ability to drink neat whisky)
7. A gin and lemonade (we had no tonic)
8. A nice glass of Hennessy
9. A chilled Bailey's with ice


I think there was more in there, but really, how proud are you about the variety and diversity etc. of my drinking? I think I might have had all my units in about 24 hours, but that is a huge improvement from uni times. And sure I have been quite shockingly hungover for two days now, but it was worth it!

Girls, Friday night was ace, we must do it again soon, and not just so that we can complain about good for nothing boys. And Bertie, you musta loved my rambling, and don't worry, you must be good for something, I just don't know what yet.

Right, I still haven't written my Y7 reports properly or my applications for TF summer projects. Onwards and upwards (by that I mean, to my bed!)

A good day!

Finally! A good day! What a looooong time coming!

Wow, overdoing the old exclamations there. So teaching is the perfect forum for me to indulge in my manic depressive tendencies. I was super hyper today after minimal sleep and a slightly generous amount of vino at dinner last night, and thus the day went swimmingly. Actually, I think it was because I decided today to be positive, rather than a whiny old witch, and it worked!

I remember singing as I was walking into school and then humming my way through the day - I swear singing sometimes makes you happy.

But also, things were good because I had my internal formal observation with Y11 today, and despite one boy putting his head on the desk and one girl almost in tears (because of some unknown reason - it wasn't me!) I got 2s and 1s all the way through the form (2 means good, 1 means outstanding). The feedback session was really good and I was really pleased with how it all went. I have to work on implementing the behaviour policy (not giving a formal warning to a deserving kid dropped me from a 1 to a 2 in the classroom management section) and also on really breaking down how to get each mark in an exam question for the kids. These are good targets for me, I can do that for sure.

What I was most pleased about was how my observer said that I had the most positive classroom style she'd seen in the school since she'd started the observations. In fact, she said she took a leaf out of my book and tried praising her Y8s for good things instead of telling off the naughty ones, and that this worked a treat! I got points for my relationship with the kids and my enthusiasm for teaching too (hahaha, if only she'd read the blog!)

Anyway the fact that I was so chirpy today could be partly attributed to this lesson, but given that I didn't get the feedback till the end of the day, other things must've contributed too. My Y8s were really good during their notoriously awful Thursday period 4. I took them to the computer room and they did well, so I think I'll try and take them again next week. Naughty S was much better behaved, and crazy D is in the LSU from next week, so we'll have a bit of respite there. Was free period 5 and did some sweeping up of the kids that had walked out of lessons (this happens quite a lot, kids storming out). Was chuffed that I'd managed to persuade an angry Y10 back into her class - it's nice when your reasoning and persuasion skills get the kids to do the right thing.

And finally, had the Leadership Discovery Day twilight tonight. Lots of stuff to take in, all about opportunities and skills and knowledge and experience etc. in the "leadership journey" we'll be going through. Hated all the TF jargon/lingo, it's so Americanised and management-consultancy, and obvy the thought of having to do lots more work is a bit of a turn-off, but secretly I think I'm quite excited about all the things we could potentially do next year. More on this soon, when I've read through all the paraphenalia. Crucially, we only had to do 90 mins tonight - the rest of the TFers had to do an 8 hour day of it last Sat!

So, in conclusion, I think today shows that a positive mind is a strong tool. And also that everyone needs some positive praise now and then. Teaching can feel like a thankless job but I've been reminded there's light at the end of the tunnel - sometimes it's a looooong tunnel though!

More ranting

I have my SLT observation tomorrow morning and a twilight to catch up on the Leadership Discovery Day that I missed tomorrow afternoon. I have Year 7 maths papers to mark and a Year 8 group to entertain in a computer suite. I'm not sure how the day could be any better.

Oh wait, something funny. There were two completely different papers to be answered in the Year 7 end of year test. The papers were sat on two consecutive days in formal exam settings. And yet, one of my kids somehow managed to do the same paper twice. How did she not notice she was doing exactly the same test all over again? At least she got a better mark the second time round.

I'm also glad I'm not Adam from the Apprentice. Shame he was fired tonight, I kinda wanted him to win, just cos he wound everyone up so much.

Nothing else useful to say except that if one more kid calls me "Miss Paramashawasha" I will be forced to plead temporary insanity when my subsequent actions are questioned.

Ooooh just read this little nugget....hahaha if it's good enough for Tony Blair's son eh?

Some good things in a list

Another tough day at school. I think if they offered me the option to quit now, and there would be no negative consequences, then I'd do it. In fact, late this afternoon I found myself fantasising about deliberately sabotaging my work towards my QTS so that I wouldn't achieve QTS and thus would be automatically freed from my contract. This is worrying.

I heard today that my mother's receptionist sold her four-bedroom flat in Earl's Court for £1.2 million. Wow. To think I gave up such a lucrative career as a medical PA. Hahaha.

I have four mouth ulcers at the moment, not very nice. I have thus decided I must either be suffering from chronic stress or even burnout - oh dear. Still, there are some highlights in my life:

1. My football girls - both teams lost their matches and there was lots of drama, but good spirits there. Particularly funny was the fact that we play next to a gigantic rubbish dump, thus making the Leyton football tournament seem similar to an impromptu street tournament in some Brazilian favela/Kenyan slum. The rubbish and dust even blows across the pitch into our eyes and mouths. Nice.

2. My dance class - actually, this really was fun, completely took my mind off things. We learnt to do this funny twirly thing, and I kept getting caught up in my own feet, but had lots of fun doing it.

3. This link sent to me from Potter - how lovely! I do love a good hug, but I think hugging kids is a bit of a no-no.

4. The email below sent to me from my Dad. So I guess they want me to get married soon, but only to a nice man:


WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!!
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> HE : Can I buy you a drink?
> >>> SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money.
> >>>
> >>> HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
> >>> SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
> >>> SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
> >>>
> >>> HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
> >>> SHE : I must've been given your share.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday?
> >>> SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Your face must turn a few heads.
> >>> SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out.
> >>> SHE : Okay, get out.
> >>>
> >>> HE : I think I could make you very happy.
> >>> SHE : Why? Are you leaving?
> >>>
> >>> HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
> >>> SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Can I have your name?
> >>> SHE : Why? Don't you already have one?
> >>>
> >>> HE : Shall we go see a movie?
> >>> SHE : I've already seen it.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Where have you been all my life?
> >>> SHE : Hiding from you.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Haven't I seen you some place before?
> >>> SHE : Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Is this seat empty?
> >>> SHE : Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
> >>>
> >>> HE : So, what do you do for a living?
> >>> SHE : I'm a female impersonator.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Hey baby, what's your sign?
> >>> SHE : Do not enter.
> >>>
> >>> HE : Your body is like a temple.
> >>> SHE : Sorry, there are no services today.
> >>>
> >>> HE : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
> >>> SHE : If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Keep smiling!