During the Summer Institute in Canterbury they taught us lots and lots of things. I can only remember about 50% of it all, and outta that 50%, I am still clueless about the relevance of a fair chunk. That's the weird thing about the TF program - whilst most other teacher training programs provide professional development and support as you go along, TF tends to chuck mountains of it at you in the summer when you have very little idea of what they are talking about. Or why they insist on doing it all so early in the morning.
One of the things they taught us about "professional values" was about where to draw the line between your pupils and yourself so that you remain in a position of authority. I also vaguely remember something about how to deal with matters that students tell you in confidence that probably require referral somewhere. But these things aren't instilled in me...those people who know me well know I like to "fix" things, regardless of any lines between teachers and pupils and how disasterous my attempts maybe.
Why am I rambling about this? Well, today, I was walking up the stairs to the maths deparment and T in Y8 was lurking there. I ask him where he's meant to be - he tells me he doesn't know. I offer to walk him to the office to figure it out. He eventually squeaks out the fact that he's been moved to a new French class but he doesn't wanna go in cos he's "rubbish at French". T has quite a few BESD issues (behavioural, emotional and social difficulties) but I manage to persuade him to go into his lesson by reasoning with him (as opposed to hollering at him). I am buoyed by this.
So later, I walk past the main school door and see that F in Y10 had walked out of another lesson. I don't know F too well, but well enough to check she is ok when she's out of class. We start talking and she tells me that if I was smart, I'd walk away. She's really upset, but I walk away. But as I'm walking I think this is wrong, she clearly wants someone to talk to, go back. So I go back. And she starts talking, about lots of things. Like how she had to leave her class cos otherwise she woulda hit someone, and she just wants to run away from school cos it's driving her mad. And how there's no point to school or to anything cos her life is just crap. This is past the point where I shoulda drawn this line and sent her to talk to someone else. But I don't.
She tells me her dad died when she was in Y7 and she's been in anger management and counselling for about three years and that she can't really deal with things on her own. She's been almost crying the whole time she's saying this and then her voice really cracks and she says she's screwed things up. I ask her how. And she says now that she is trying to be independent and make her own decisions, she keeps making the wrong ones.
And then she comes out to me.
Yes, despite my previously borderline psycho behaviour when it comes to dealing with this stuff, weirdly I remain a magnet for the gay world. Some of you will be proud, I didn't entirely freak out - I more felt really sorry for the kid cos she came out to the wrong "friends" and now it's spreading around Y10 and other kids are picking on her and calling her names and even threatening to bash her. The thing is, she's really bright, like one of the smartest kids in Y10, and plays on loads of sports teams and is a peer mentor and stuff like that. Lots of potential to really go far. Or get outta our ghetto at any rate.
So obviously I figure all this stuff she is telling me is something I should tell someone about. However, I don't remember exactly what they said in the summer about all this kinda stuff and what I'm meant to do. Naturally then, I jump in feet first and try and "fix" things by telling a gay teacher in the English department and also this girl's Head of Year (who, I subsequently find out is also gay...my gaydar is so non-existent). Anyway, I left them to sort it all out thinking my bit was done.
It was only later that I realised I'd more or less completely betrayed this kid's confidence and broken her trust, cos if she'd wanted to tell them all, she could have. I should have checked it was ok with her before rambling her business to the staffroom. Damn. I guess this is what they mean by on-the-job training...learning from your screw-ups has to address a QTS standard somewhere. And now it's hard to stop thinking about this...this is why teaching is about so much more than just teaching.
One of the things they taught us about "professional values" was about where to draw the line between your pupils and yourself so that you remain in a position of authority. I also vaguely remember something about how to deal with matters that students tell you in confidence that probably require referral somewhere. But these things aren't instilled in me...those people who know me well know I like to "fix" things, regardless of any lines between teachers and pupils and how disasterous my attempts maybe.
Why am I rambling about this? Well, today, I was walking up the stairs to the maths deparment and T in Y8 was lurking there. I ask him where he's meant to be - he tells me he doesn't know. I offer to walk him to the office to figure it out. He eventually squeaks out the fact that he's been moved to a new French class but he doesn't wanna go in cos he's "rubbish at French". T has quite a few BESD issues (behavioural, emotional and social difficulties) but I manage to persuade him to go into his lesson by reasoning with him (as opposed to hollering at him). I am buoyed by this.
So later, I walk past the main school door and see that F in Y10 had walked out of another lesson. I don't know F too well, but well enough to check she is ok when she's out of class. We start talking and she tells me that if I was smart, I'd walk away. She's really upset, but I walk away. But as I'm walking I think this is wrong, she clearly wants someone to talk to, go back. So I go back. And she starts talking, about lots of things. Like how she had to leave her class cos otherwise she woulda hit someone, and she just wants to run away from school cos it's driving her mad. And how there's no point to school or to anything cos her life is just crap. This is past the point where I shoulda drawn this line and sent her to talk to someone else. But I don't.
She tells me her dad died when she was in Y7 and she's been in anger management and counselling for about three years and that she can't really deal with things on her own. She's been almost crying the whole time she's saying this and then her voice really cracks and she says she's screwed things up. I ask her how. And she says now that she is trying to be independent and make her own decisions, she keeps making the wrong ones.
And then she comes out to me.
Yes, despite my previously borderline psycho behaviour when it comes to dealing with this stuff, weirdly I remain a magnet for the gay world. Some of you will be proud, I didn't entirely freak out - I more felt really sorry for the kid cos she came out to the wrong "friends" and now it's spreading around Y10 and other kids are picking on her and calling her names and even threatening to bash her. The thing is, she's really bright, like one of the smartest kids in Y10, and plays on loads of sports teams and is a peer mentor and stuff like that. Lots of potential to really go far. Or get outta our ghetto at any rate.
So obviously I figure all this stuff she is telling me is something I should tell someone about. However, I don't remember exactly what they said in the summer about all this kinda stuff and what I'm meant to do. Naturally then, I jump in feet first and try and "fix" things by telling a gay teacher in the English department and also this girl's Head of Year (who, I subsequently find out is also gay...my gaydar is so non-existent). Anyway, I left them to sort it all out thinking my bit was done.
It was only later that I realised I'd more or less completely betrayed this kid's confidence and broken her trust, cos if she'd wanted to tell them all, she could have. I should have checked it was ok with her before rambling her business to the staffroom. Damn. I guess this is what they mean by on-the-job training...learning from your screw-ups has to address a QTS standard somewhere. And now it's hard to stop thinking about this...this is why teaching is about so much more than just teaching.
