Today a minor victory and many losses.
Minor victory: a Y9 boy in my classroom was shouting at someone through the door. I told him he would have 5 mins detention at lunchtime. He shrugged his shoulders. I told him it was now 10 mins. Shrugged again. 15 mins. Shrugged again. I lost my temper and told him to get his diary out, he was going to have an hour of detention tomorrow after school. He said he didn't care, he wouldn't come anyway. Kick the boy out the room. Catch up with him at the end of the lesson, take him to the phone, call his mother and tell her what happened, pass the phone over to the boy. Mum absolutely shreds him, I can hear her wailing him out through the phone, he looks visibly shaken. Take the phone back, she apologises for him and continues to berate him in her strong Jamaican twang. I thank her for her support and finish the call. He apologises and accepts his 60 mins.
Many losses: too many to mention really. Biggest one was when I decided to be "normal" with my Y10s i.e. let my personality out. Started well, but the kids just started playing up. In the end I got fed up and told them all to pack up and just leave. They tear around the maths department disrupting everyone. Error. That is very bad teaching. Equally bad was the Year 8 detention today - all the Year 8 trouble makers in one room. Nightmare. I essentially give up on trying to discipline them and just leave them to kill the time.
Big problem. I can see myself not caring any more, becoming indifferent to it all. It's too much right now, and rather than upping my game, I just want a break. The less energy and effort and care I put in, the harder it will be. But I can't seem to persuade myself to sort it out.
Forget all this mental health stuff, clearly my problem is my job and what it is doing to me. I hate being rubbish at things, but I will have to accept that I am not good enough at this.
Minor victory: a Y9 boy in my classroom was shouting at someone through the door. I told him he would have 5 mins detention at lunchtime. He shrugged his shoulders. I told him it was now 10 mins. Shrugged again. 15 mins. Shrugged again. I lost my temper and told him to get his diary out, he was going to have an hour of detention tomorrow after school. He said he didn't care, he wouldn't come anyway. Kick the boy out the room. Catch up with him at the end of the lesson, take him to the phone, call his mother and tell her what happened, pass the phone over to the boy. Mum absolutely shreds him, I can hear her wailing him out through the phone, he looks visibly shaken. Take the phone back, she apologises for him and continues to berate him in her strong Jamaican twang. I thank her for her support and finish the call. He apologises and accepts his 60 mins.
Many losses: too many to mention really. Biggest one was when I decided to be "normal" with my Y10s i.e. let my personality out. Started well, but the kids just started playing up. In the end I got fed up and told them all to pack up and just leave. They tear around the maths department disrupting everyone. Error. That is very bad teaching. Equally bad was the Year 8 detention today - all the Year 8 trouble makers in one room. Nightmare. I essentially give up on trying to discipline them and just leave them to kill the time.
Big problem. I can see myself not caring any more, becoming indifferent to it all. It's too much right now, and rather than upping my game, I just want a break. The less energy and effort and care I put in, the harder it will be. But I can't seem to persuade myself to sort it out.
Forget all this mental health stuff, clearly my problem is my job and what it is doing to me. I hate being rubbish at things, but I will have to accept that I am not good enough at this.
