The Amy Winehouse Stand-Ins

I read this article on The Times Online about who we could listen to while Amy has some time off. Since I have lots of time to check this stuff out, I played through the suggested stand-ins. Some were good, some were great.

In particular, when you have a spare minute, check out:

Adele - when you're feeling soulful (actually sounds a bit like Amy + sick piano and bass)
Ebony Bones - when you're feeling funky (her stuff is ridiculous, very similar to MIA)
Tawiah - when you're feeling deeeep London hood-soul (pretty raw here, it's nice)
Bridgette Amofah - when you wanna hear Jij (I swear this is Jij's alias, just an octave lower! And also her tagline is "Bit 'o' drama" excellent)

I love listening to songs with words that mean things.

Speaking of words, some that I have looked up recently...

erudite - knowledgeable
repudiate - deny
complicite - knowing about something that you should stop but fail to thus becoming part of it
pathos - a style or quality that invokes feelings (particularly sorrow or pity)
intransigent - stubborn
ephemeral - short-lived

These are from Love in the Time of Cholera, which I am already loving, despite only being on chapter 2. I also like the name Gabriel, I am adding it to the list.

The saga continues

So despite hoping I would make it in to school this week, I am in fact now signed-off sick again. Not entirely sure where the good intentions have gone - perhaps to the same place where my sleep is as that's disappeared too. There are now only two teaching weeks left of this half-term, I can't believe it, how behind are all my kids gonna be?

I'm getting a bit fed up of all this, I just want to zoom through until I am back to normal again. Bleeeurrrrgh. It's really weird too, in that I am quite restless and bored with all this "resting" but then on the other hand I can't really get myself to properly do anything.

Once again, has anyone seen my lost plot? I miss it.

Drama catch-up

So what's new? Well, things have been pretty dramatastic. Went up to Oxford on Saturday for a mini-reunion, was awesome fun. Forgot about how Christmas in Oxford happens in November, and also about how easy it is to sit around and shoot the breeze, with a few cheeky drinks along the way of course. Saw lots of lovely Furies, including some I haven't seen for aaaages, and also an old friend of mine from school, so that was ace. Obviously things went a bit drama-shaped late on in the night, but that's standard form really nowadays, it woulda been a shocker if nothing had happened.

Sunday was Anusha acca's wedding. Another huge and complicated affair, with lots of mad dashing around and helping (or not helping as the case turned out to be - not that I shirked my responsibilities too much, heehee). The wedding itself was lovely, Anusha looked beautiful and the best man was hilarious. The reception in the evening was awesome too, I think partly because almost everyone was in a party-mood. The free bar was ridiculous, as was the huge amounts of food, yum yum. The speeches were funny and there was even a belly dancer for entertainment! Anyway, to cut a long story short, my cousins and I got on a mission and were pretty wrecked. Woke up drunk yesterday morning, then was rather ill for most of the day, with an awful awful hangover. Might have something to do with mixing six different types of drink through the night, or maybe to do with the 7 hours worth of "session", whoops. In any case, was in no state for school, so bailed again. However...

....today I made my dramatic reappearance. This was despite some major nightmares last night all about school, one of which involved another teacher completely taking over my life so no-one remembered who I was! Was actually very nervous, but it wasn't that bad at all, mainly because as soon as I walked into school I was mobbed by kids asking me where I'd been, and how I was, and how glad they were to have me back. And then all the staff were just as nice, checking up on me and hugs and stuff, awww, it was so sweet. Despite the craziness of my school, there are loads of really good people there, who take care of each other and stuff, it's a good thing. Anyway, my classroom was a tip cos supply teachers had let the kids run riot, and also I had SO much paperwork to sort out. Managed to teach lesson 1, that was ok, then had lesson 2 off, so I went to hand in all my sick notes to the office. Surprise surprise, it turns out I'm still signed off sick, so they sent me home! Hahaha, so lasted three hours, and then had to come back! Except my car was blocked in, so I had to take the bus, but then I didn't have enough money for the bus, or my Oyster card, so I had to walk all the way to the bank and then come back, more drama.

On the plus side, despite a pretty crazy weekend and day today too, I feel pretty ok. Had a nice chatter with Bertie too :) That said, even being in school for a bit was a shock to the system, and now I have to have some meetings to sort out what's going to happen with me in school etc. Drama. And also I have 114 progress reports to write, and because the system is cocked up, there are kids reports that are down on my list when I don't even teach them! That's gonna take ages to sort out, but the deadline was last Friday, oh dear. All this is scary, so maybe I'll have to hide a bit longer and try and catch up on my sleep deprivation (9 hours in total over the last three nights, not good for school).

The Golden Compass Movie Website

I have been playing around on The Golden Compass website. I am very excited about this film, mainly because I really like the story, despite it being set in a cold place, and also because if you judge it on the trailer, it's looking promising.

The best part of the website (apart from the fact that it comes in like 25 languages) is the bit where you can find your own daemon. In the stories, a person's daemon is this actual physical animal that sort of represents their soul and can talk with them and stuff. So on the website you have to answer 20 questions and it decides what your daemon is. I tried to answer the questions as honestly as possible, but they were some questions where I could probably answer different things on different days. Anyway, so today, here's my result:

"Your profile reveals that you are relaxed, modest, sociable, inquisitive, and fickle. You are therefore matched with the Fox Daemon. Your Daemon Elleron is one of 27145 fox Daemons within the total Daemon population of 428852".

That's about 6% of Daemons. I like the name Elleron. So what about you?

The other thing I did was play around on the alethiometer on there. Obviously I asked my question of the day: am I really crazy? The three pictures that I was drawn to were the owl, the lightning bolt, and the angel. It turns out that the owl could mean winter, night, or fear; the lightning bolt could mean; inspiration, anger, or fate; and the angel could mean disobedience, messenger, or hierarchy. Then the blue arrow moved to the pair of compasses, which stands for measurement, mathematics, or science. Excellent, so I think this means I will have to do the assessments to find out. Lyra eat your heart out. Not that I'm actually using it to make decisions or anything...

Wow, so much fun on one website, heehee.

And finally, I love love love the song and video of Tom Baxter's Better. You can see it here...I'm confused as to what tube station they're filming at, but anyway, it's just lovely.

Some random stuff

I am feeling pretty psyched. I don't really know why. Hopefully it's nothing to do with the fact that I may well spectacularly write-off this weekend. I should at least try and pretend it's going to be calm. But really, it's the last wedding weekend of the month, and my cousin is getting married, and we have a three hour gap between the wedding and the reception in which to cause mayhem. In saris.

I pondered a "prime number" theme to my life, in that I would only contemplate dabbling in trouble on prime number days in month, similar to what I do with the Tuesday and Friday veggie thing. But I'm not sure I can stick to it. Plus, really, if I was going to do it, patently the prime number days would be the sensible days, giving me twice as many days to cause trouble in.

We watched this tonight. My mother was obviously enthralled. I admit, it was nice it kinda worked out for the people on it, but I'm still staying well clear.

And finally, I love Open Your Window by Reverend and the Makers, please check it out, and it's a great video too!

In a mess

I am wondering something.

I am wondering how on earth have I got myself into this mess? And more so, why do I insist on continuing to dig that hole?

Somehow I have accepted a job from my old company in September. I don't know how this happened. Where have my principles all gone? What about going back to university? What about my soul? And more importantly, my typing fingers?

I think it is also probably a bad thing that I have given more hours to MyBnk this week than to my actual job. Some people might get cross with that, although I could argue it is important for my mind to be occupied, but not overloaded (like it would be at school).

Clearly I should not be allowed to make decisions.

In other news, I had another blood test today, that was fun. I am also being referred to yet another Giraffe person, which doesn't really fit in with my new plan to ignore all problems. Hmm.

First I think I need to work on my drama addiction. Aaaaargh, how have I got into this mess??? An unnecessarily dramatic last sentence...but clearly the first step is acknowledging the problem.

More drama

Oh b*gger. I just read my little profile ramble and it talks about "disasters in and out of the classroom". I can't remember the last time I had a disaster in the classroom, mainly because I have been out of it for so long. Well, it feels loooong.

Given the absence of education-type matters, let's switch to my other favourite topic - my crazy. Before yesterday I hadn't told my folks about it because I'd imagined it'd be similar to telling them that I had some kinda STD or some other awful, shameful thing. Anyway finally built up the bottle, and it was worth it for the relief and also their hilarious responses.

My father's went from "I've never heard of that but I'm sure you don't have it" to "you should quit your job, no-one ever asked to you help poor kids" to "how can there be anything wrong with you? We know everything about you and if there's something wrong then we can fix it. But there's nothing wrong with you". Very interesting and useful. I mean that loosely. My mother was more practical going from "we need to get another blood test" to "you should quit your job" (aaah, that old favourite) to "let me call one of my friends at the Cromwell, they can sort this out. Although you know that since the 15th of Nov the planets are not in a good place for you". Whoever said science and religion were separate forces must be wrong.

So yes, that is the latest in that little drama. Oh and of course school and various other people are getting involved too. I think I may have to hide under my duvet.

A hard day's work

I'm knackered. I've done more than seven hours of actual work on my computer today, wow. Classic FM has been keeping me entertained all the way through :) It's nice to know I can work after all.

Did a lot on the MyBnk project, am very into that. Also did some stuff on the old Log. Haven't done any lesson plans, but I am going to school tomorrow! I am determined, there's only 20 teaching days left, let's just take it day by day.

What else? Had a family party last night, stayed entirely sober, but was still somehow hysterical. My brother regularly says I have lost the plot. It's true. Spectacularly managed to put my foot in something really awful, metaphorically I mean, just let a cat out of a bag, a cat that may or may not even be really a cat since I have only heard things loosely and most likely mixed them up a bit. Anyway, fingers crossed that cat gets back in the bag and family disasters are averted.

Am missing S's actual birthday dinner tonight, after missing her party last weekend. We have a family dinner thing tonight with family from Australia (a long way to commute for dinner, but my Mum's a good cook). Need to get back on form.

Why am I still typing? I have RSI. This reminds me why I couldn't actually work in the City, my wrists and fingers hurt too much.

Wish me luck, sooooo much potential for chaos tomorrow!

Cold and Itchy

I choose this picture because I am currently cold. And itchy. This basket of knitted stuff doesn't look too itchy, but I have memories of itchy woollen things. I understand the cold - something is wrong with the heating I think (luckily my room is warm, yay!) but I don't understand the itchy. It's pretty bad actually, I have all those weird marks on my face that appear when I scratch. I look like I've been in battle with a mad cat. A battle I lost. If I am still itching after my afternoon of work, I will start to research this disease I read about in The Metro, the font of all knowledge.

What else? Well I have been wishing that apple jam and pear jam existed in the UK. And more banana yogurts, yum yum. I also wish that people who make yogurt pots would get rid of all the unnecessary corners and edges that just serve to trap yogurt. I think the best pot design so far is the Muller one, minimum space to waste yogurt in, plus what a generous helping!

In other news, I had lots of crazy nightmares last night, some loosely connected to a programme about the really really awful and scary genocide in Congo and Rwanda, some do to with "all my crops failing" (hmmm, what crops?!) and the last one to do with a Disney trip to a theme park where we all went on a rollercoaster (a real one, not a psycho-babble one) and drank a bottle of some mystery clear alcohol as we went round. When we got off everyone said they hated it, but I loved it, and actually thought it was a bit tame and we could do better, but everyone else wanted to go home.

We have a party to go to tonight, how exciting, but first I must finish my "editing and improving". If you are still looking for things to read, check out SB's blog, some good stuff on there.

PS I have changed my posting identity, mainly to do with paranoia that I will be identified on here. Explanations on my new identity at some point.

Rollercoaster Ramblings

I am a little concerned. Despite being half in denial and half wary of my own diagnostic abilities, I still think I may be in a queue for a rollercoaster. Yes, this is another new term I have decided to add to my own psycho-babble lingo, even whilst not yet being formally diagnosed. Wonderful.

So what do I mean? Well, I have noticed that since seeing another Giraffe on Wednesday, I feel quite a bit better i.e. not zombie at all and far less wimpy (although I am still only listening to classical music). Back in the gym, back playing the piano, back wanting to do things, all that good stuff. However, Giraffe said this good stuff needs to be slowly eased back in and that I need to keep an eye on what I'm doing. So I am, and I can see there could be trouble.

Oh wow, I just got why there are so many Blamange blogs out there, it's all that mood diary stuff and because I figure most people won't actually say this stuff to people.

So indicators of rollercoasters...I am now struggling to sleep, both in the afternoon and at night. My brain is busy planning things and thinking things. Oh I have a great new business idea to do with providing utilities for student housing....like basically getting loads of student houses to sign up with the company, and then using the power of the company to negotiate discounts on gas and electric and phone and broadband etc. Whichever utility companies gave the best offers would be offered the contracts to provide the utilities for all the student house members. Harnessing the force of a big student population to push to lower cost contracts and a nice little slice somewhere for me!

Anyway, back to what I was saying about rollercoasters...I can feel myself getting really annoyed with lots of things, like having to talk about letting agencies, and trying on sari blouses, and people asking me what is wrong. And also distractions...see while I have kinda regained a bit of focus in that I want to do things, I am still not really concentrating. And finally the busyness, I am bringing back the busyness in fantastic style (this is something Giraffe suggested I try not to do but it's in my nature). Things I have taken on since Weds:

1. Trying to negotiate a Deloitte contract (this is a complicated manoeuvre, but I figure I should just be honest and put my cards on the table)
2. Hassling my Learning Associate to get my GS Learning Log sorted (and hassling TF because of it)
3. Working with BITC to sort some meetings at school
4. Working with MyBnk editing some booklets
5. Turning my social schedule back on, and even double-booking myself

So yes, somehow I have decided to go back to normal, except I am concerned that I am not going back to normal, but rather back to whirlwindy, but then I don't know if I should be concerned since I can't really remember what my "normal" state is, if you see what I mean.

Excellent, Giraffe will be pleased with these reflections. Now to make a plan to SLOW THINGS DOWN and get out of the queue for the rollercoaster. Oh and also to use this as an argument against having blamange, in that clearly I am far too insightful for it.

Reading

I've been spending a lot of time reading. Reading what? Well, more or less anything really.

Firstly I have been doing my research. As usual, I got distracted; once I found this blog and lots of its subsequent links there was no stopping me. It seems I'm not the only one that loves to ramble about my life. But knowledge is power and it's probably a good idea to know what's going on a bit. Plus it's nice to read that other people who have what I may have are doing well.

A looooong time later I checked out To Miss With Love, where there was a good debate about streaming and setting vs. mixed ability. Personally, streaming/setting every time, at least with maths anyway. Totally agree that the concept of differentiation, whereby every child is learning at their maximum potential through personalised learning and appropriate pitching of a lesson, is a lovely idea, but a pipedream. It's practically impossible to effectively differentiate for thirty different 14 year olds; I certainly can't do it. Give me a set grouped by ability any time, at least then I am more likely to be able to reach most of them.

Read this great debate on CiF in The Guardian Online, about maths teaching and whether we should abandon higher level mathematical concepts and just focus on functional maths. Some good arguments there. I think that initially everyone should be given the chance to tackle higher level concepts, but that there's no point forcing some aspects of maths on some kids, they just won't be able to do it, for whatever reason. I'd rather have all my kids leave with useful arithmetic and functional maths skills than half of them struggle with GCSE maths and leave with an F anyway. I know maths is about teaching critical thinking and logic and all those types of skills, but it's not working for lots of our kids, so perhaps it's time to find a better way to teach those things?

And finally this from The Times. Again to do with society and education. Won't ramble about this article too much, except to say that this is the kind of stuff I'm really interested in researching. Strangely the article was located in the Women's section of Life & Style. Why??

Wow, I think it may be time for nap. To digest all these thoughts of course.

Words from a book

In attempt to occupy my mind a little, I am now reading Too Beautiful for You by Rod Liddle. A funny collection of short stories about messed-up affairs in South London. I am only three stories in, but already I have had to look up lots and lots of words. Please understand, I am not thick, I could probably get the gist of maybe a third of these words, and could even loosely define them. But some I've never heard before. So here's a little test, how many can you define? Answers below.

1. insouciant
2. emollient
3. prussic
4. pyrolytic
5. rancour
6. contumely
7. bellicose
8. perspicacity
9. inchoate
10. diadem
11. expedient
12. iniquity
13. histrionics
14. astringency
15. imperturbably
16. ineluctable
17. indolent
18. supplication
19. opprobrium
20. irradiated

1. insouciant - casual
2. emollient - having a softening or soothing effect, especially with regards to the skin
3. prussic - hydrocyanic acid; hydrogen cyanide in water; so probably not a nice description of someone
4. pyrolytic - resulting from pyrolysis, which is the transformation of one substance into one or more substances by heat alone with oxidation
5. rancour - resentment
6. contumely - abuse; a rude expression intended to offend or hurt
7. bellicose - battleful; having or showing a ready disposition to fight
8. perspicacity - shrewdness
9. inchoate - in an initial or early stage; not fully developed
10. diadem - crown
11. expedient - serving to promote your interest
12. iniquity - absence of moral or spiritual values
13. histrionics - exaggerated dramatic behaviour designed to attract attention
14. astringency - from astringent: sharp and penetrating; pungent or severe
15. imperturbably - from imperturbable; not easily excited or upset; marked by extreme calm and composure
16. ineluctable - inescapable; irresistible
17. indolent - disinclined to work or exertion; so lazy then
18. supplication - invocation; a prayer asking for God's help as part of a religious service
19. opprobrium - disgrace arising from exceedingly shameful conduct
20. irradiated - treated with radiation

How'd you do? More words will come I am sure. Nice to see I'm keeping myself busy.

Robins

I was walking in the park today and I saw my first robin. Winter is here.

Some good things: I've been signed off for the rest of the week with "stress related difficulties" so no need to stress about that any more; my thyroxin levels are normal so I don't have a problem there; I finished The Amber Spyglass and it was just awesome. No better words to describe it, but I loved it, and can't wait for the films.

Things to contemplate: if it's not a thyroxin problem, then what is it?

School are being really good to me, telling me to take it easy and get better. This is the hardest part, I don't know how to get better. It's not like a broken leg or something. No, actually, it is, because it feels like I just have to wait it out. I feel a bit better really, so am going to be optimistic, despite feeling a bit like a fraud. Going back to school next week will be tough, people are look for the obvious and if they can't see anything wrong with me, they will think I'm messing about. I don't want their sympathy, but I'm not messing around. Will just have to grit my teeth and get on with it. And think of robins.

250! And a wedding

It's my 250th post! So I shall try and make it a good one.

Let's get the tangents out of the way. Haven't been to school all week, don't really want to talk about that, enough said. Diwali on Friday, happy Diwali everyone! Watched a really sad documentary about the conflict in Sri Lanka, made me feel really rather awful for not being satisfied with all the blessings we've been given, when there are people crying in Sri Lanka because they've lost everything, and their "everything" could probably be replaced using the cost of one of my little brother's average shopping sprees, and there are "death squads" and landmines and soldiers and all kinds of nastiness over there. I feel sad for them all, I really do.

On a more positive note, my father pointed out how life here is a blessing in disguise. Tamil people here are for the most part doing exceedingly well. This success was clearly evident at my cousin's wedding last night. If you know me, you know that I go to a lot of weddings. And I mean a lot. It's traditional to throw huge weddings, with your parents inviting almost everyone they know, and throwing a huge party and all that. But last night's wedding was different.

Firstly, my cousin D was marrying her long-term boyfriend F. D is Hindu, F is Muslim. Controversial, you'd think, but actually no, since she's converting (I think). Anyway, they had a far smaller affair, about 150 people, at The Palm Court in the Waldorf Hilton. This place is big time fancy, such a lovely venue, apparently it featured in the Titanic, or inspired scenes in it or something. Loads of marble and grand staircases and pillars and gold etc. The wedding itself was delightful, not just because it was only 30 mins long! Tamil weddings frequently run to two or three hours, with breaks in the middle, changes of costumes, food and drink served, people walking in and out. This was nothing like that.

My favourite bit was how so many different cultural aspects had been combined. D walked down the aisle with her parents and the whole set-up was like a church wedding, except with a hilarious Australian registrar. Sisters and friends gave readings from The Prophet Khalil Gibrain, Shakespeare, ee Cummings, Blake, and an Apache wedding blessing. They tied a thaali (a thick gold chain that a married woman wears) and swapped garlands, but they also swapped rings and made vows to each other (beautiful vows, I wish I had printed copies). The string quartet played Pachbel's Canon, Air on a G string, and Handel's Water Music. There were no crazy drummers and musicians, which while I love at the start of the wedding, when my ears begin ringing I get cross. The music and readings and everything was all moving and romantic and lovely. And the party after, wow, excellent DJ, great food, chocolate fountain, and catering for all the alcs on my side of the family by setting up a sneaky outside bar so that we wouldn't offend anyone!

I think it was all about details with this wedding. They had a guests' memory book so that people could sign their well-wishes, and also the video guy got people to record wedding messages. Everyone was dressed impeccably, both the families are prosperous, generous, and welcoming, and so things went wonderfully. Actually, it's more the sort of wedding I'd like to have, rather than a huge crazy thing where everyone tears their hair out and you can't remember half the people there. But we shall see. Check out the photos on Facebook. Oh and F's youngest brother, 16, gave a speech, which he opened with "funny how history repeats itself. Twenty-eight years ago D's parent sent her to bed with a dummy. Tonight they're doing it all over again". Hahaha!

So school tomorrow? Hmmm...

Wimp

I am a wimp. Officially.

Today is the second day I have wimped out of school, and I have a feeling I will be wimping out for a bit longer too.

It's safe to say I am no longer whirlwindy, and now instead feel wimpy. This isn't too bad though, I am not hiding away too much, and this loose indifference is vaguely liberating. I don't really care that I am a wimp. It's only that other people care that makes it an issue.

Anyway the reason I am a wimp is because this is nowhere near as rough as I have felt before, but I still can't seem to force myself into school. Back last summer I was literally like a zombie but at least I managed to make it in. I guess I am thinking of it as damage limitation, in that I hope a few days off now will stop the full-blown zombie coming back to play.

There is a slight danger of getting entirely wrapped up in this so in search of perspective...

Reasons not to quit school:
1. Letting all the kids down
2. Letting all the staff down
3. Letting TF down
4. Being a quitter is rubbish
5. My references will suffer and then I won't be able to do any of the future stuff
6. My family and friends will think I am a loser
7. It would be too ironic, given the number of people I have persuaded to apply to TF, and how much I rave about the power of teaching
8. It's all in my head and once that is sorted things will be better

Reasons to quit school (in the interests of a balanced argument)
1. Too long hours - reckon I am clocking over 60 hours a week and then am rather too knackered and resentful to do everything else I would want
2. Poor leadership, ethos, and discipline - from the top of the school down, which leads to poor morale and poor teachers
3. Too stressful - the hundreds of daily battles and grinds are exhausting
4. When I don't like my job I really hate it - why waste time in something so arduous?
5. It may be contributing to my doolally.

Hmm so this is a rather honest post. Readers, don't worry, I am ok, I am just writing all this up to get it out, and also for the sake of posterity, so that I actually remember that sometimes I feel like this. See, this is what happens when you never talk about yourself and then suddenly you spill out your life on-line, it makes people worry. I may have to set up an alternate blog for the sakes of all your sanity.

Skipping School

The attendance target at my school is 93%. My form, typically, is rather behind on this. We have two kids on the roll that just don't exist, but until the EWO (educational welfare officer) can track them down, they have to stay on roll. As such, we never win the attendance prize.

Am I a good role model? Well, looking at my own attendance, I have missed 4 days of school in the last 41, not to mention a hospital appointment and a visit to the dentist in school time. So my attendance is below the 93%. Further, despite it only being week 2 of the second half of the first term, I am already on my fourth instance of absence. This is a sign of trouble.

How it works in my school is that if staff have more than five instances of absence in a year, they have to have some kinda support interview or something. An instance can be anything from day to literally months (with a medical certificate of course). Mine have been four separate days, but still.

So what happened today then? I didn't really have a hangover, that wasn't the problem. I woke up really early, and my stomach was hurting, and basically I decided I couldn't face the day at school. Once my mind decides that, it's a done thing, it's difficult to persuade myself otherwise. School is like a battle to me at the moment, and if I'm not up for battle, well, I'd rather not take part. People say any teacher is better than no teacher. I disagree...a supply teacher is better than your regular teacher when she's having a bad day. But that is my opinion.

What did I do? Tried to sleep, but failed. Took a stroll in the park to try and get my head in the game. Realised that I looked very much like a skiving kid, so came back home. Forced myself to complete a rather mediocre Learning Log. Dwelled on my problems, and tried to make a plan to help me last to the potential solution. Finally, stumbled upon this, and had an educational browse. Felt a bit better after that, but then when I consider a day of battle tomorrow, well...we'll have to wait and see what happens.

PS Not all doom-and-gloom...also found this and love it.

Engagement Party

Hohoho, don't usually do THREE posts in one day, but it's a special occasion. Had to point out that I haven't done any of the work I intended to do today including lesson plans for tomorrow, oh dear. Further, have tried to match my bro drink for drink at this engagement and it is only just hitting me. Thirdly, easily this is the most hilarious engagement I have been to.

Engagements are pretty new in my family, usually we just do wedding and reception, but what the hey, the more parties the better. Held at the lovely Prince Regent, this shindig for about 200 people would easily have set the in-laws back between five and ten k (free bar baby, oh yeah!) They had an excellent magician there, who did such tricks as making you pick and sign a card, and then your card appearing inside a brand new kiwi and also making you pick a card and then your card stick to the ceiling of the dining room. Amazing. My father has his card (business, not playing); I am both excited and concerned that he will be booked for my entirely unintended wedding.

What else? Well, the father-in-law of the bride's speech was just comedy. He talked about his younger son discovering he had a willy; about how the compere's mother would put a chair in front of the bedroom door to stop any rumpy-pumpy taking place; about how life is all about destiny; and about how marriage is a gamble and you should play your cards well. Funny stuff and serious stuff wrapped up into one. Will take the last quote to my kids tomorrow.

These guys aren't getting married until next September, how long is that?! Still, looking at the rock he put on her finger tonight, she will be happy to wait.

The 5th Annual TF Conference

The TF 5th Anniversary Conference and Celebration. Biggest and best ever, thoroughly enjoyed myself :) Held at the ExCel Centre in the Docklands, there were over 600 delegates, from the fresh-faced '07s to the old-school '03s, and this year from the Midlands, Manchester AND London. Big things happening in TF at the moment, was a joy to see...just when things get tough there's always a TF event to make you realise everyone's in the same boat, and to remind us of the amazing things we're trying to achieve.

So the day itself was excellently organised, clearly a lot of hard work and planning had gone into the day. We began with an introductory address from our CEO Brett Wigdortz. He's hilarious, such a lovely and amiable chap, you really want to do your best for him you know? He won Ernst & Young's Social Entrepreneur of the Year this year, and also went and pitched for a new project called "Teach For All" in the States recently...some great pictures of him rubbing shoulders with old Tony and Bill. Anyway, I digress. The theme around this year's conference was "Collaboration", which seemed apt given the huge numbers of us there now are. Since its initiation in 2002 TF has placed over 1000 participants in over 118 schools. They estimated that we've had 14.4 million opportunities to make a difference in the last 5 years. No idea where the figure came from, but impressive!

After the address we had our first workshop. Wanted to go to one on youth culture, but it was booked out, so chose one on debating instead. Lots of great ideas, resources and support on setting up debating clubs in school. They had some kids along to demonstrate a mini-debate, was excellent, really impressed with the level of argument and the presentation skills of the kids. That workshop left me with some inspiration to try out a mini-debate with my tutor group in PSHE.

Then we had the school project semi-final pitches. Hadn't submitted a school project, have enough on my plate(!), but there were some great ideas out there. In our room I voted for the guy who wanted money to set up an "outdoor classroom" so that kids could get first-hand interactive learning experience of the world outside. A lovely idea, supported by the school, students already keen, easily sustainable, useful across the curriculum and across the year groups. Lots of other good ideas made it through to the next round too.

Lunch time, glorious sandwiches, yum yum. Great chance to catch up with lots of TFers! A cynic would say I was a networker, but I'm not really, I just love lots of the TF people and so spend a lot of time chatting, heehee. Running at the same time as lunch was a Third Sector fair and also a corporate careers fair too, busy busy.

After lunch the keynote address from Ralph Tabberer, the Director General of Schools within the DCSF. A reasonable speech, some good points in there, but too much emphasis on the role of the teacher and how amazing we are at making a difference. I can see why non-TFers get annoyed at us, it makes it look like all it takes to be a good teacher is brains and six weeks of summer training, forgetting all about pedagogy and the importance of commitment, support and experience.

Two more workshops after lunch, one on organisational politics, HILARIOUS, the man from Politics at Work taught us all about the slimy tricks people play to manipulate and get what they want, can't believe I do so many of them myself, and have had so many done to me! Will do a whole post on this some other time. Then went to a great workshop on educational policy reform and current neoliberal thinking on educational disadvantage. Again, this topic could do with its own post, and more, but the basic conclusion I came to was that education can solve a lot, but really it is a reactive and temporary solution - social disadvantage is the real problem, which if correctly addressed would mean educational disadvantage would be far more limited.

At about 17:00 all of this wrapped up and we went back to the main room to watch the celebrations. Lots of lovely speeches, participant diaries (a participant from every year talked about their experiences through TF), songs, videos, dhol drummers, positive messages etc. TF really know how to make you feel like a winner, was properly proud and inspired and just all good inside after that. Obviously the glasses of wine and the gorgeous cake helped too :)

Whistle-stop tour of the Conference then. All in all I loved it, I love learning more about schools and teaching and theories and leadership and skills and basically all of the things connected with what we do now and what we could do in the future. I love "feeling the TF vibe" - I get completely filled with positivity and inspiration. Its an immense project with such huge goals, and Brett was saying that when he first had his idea, everyone thought it would never make it through. Look where we are now eh? The next five years will only be better. Keep it up TF!

Assorted Highlights and Ramblings

I woke up with a smile on my face this morning. This is just the kind of autumn day I love. Sunny, crisp and cool. Stepped over to the park, watched a bit of football, had a stroll, crunched some leaves. It's beautiful out there, it makes me shiver. Can't explain it really,

Two posts today. The first one, assorted highlights and ramblings since I last posted. Am pleasantly hungover, two fun nights with no regrets.

Things I have been meaning to write about on here:

"Do as you like with me. I'm your parcel. I have only our address on me. Open me or readdress me". Again from Birthday Letters, loved those lines.

"When she saw how they worked, not on their own but two by two, working their trunks together to tie a knot she realised how astonished they'd been by her hands, because of course she could tie knots on her own. At first she felt that this gave her an advantage - she needed no one else; and then she realised how it cut her off from others. Perhaps all human beings were like that". From The Amber Spyglass, which is wonderful fantasy now, I like it the most out of the three.

"My life is very grown up and sensible these days (not entirely true...) so I enjoy other people's drama. It is much more interesting than engaging with your own. You should try it and then you wouldn't have to worry about being a bad person anymore. :)" I can't officially quote this person, but hahaha, just made me laugh.

I love The Wombats song about Joy Division at the moment. And also The Pigeon Detectives. And a plug for an old friend here.

Went out on Friday night with CK, Gid and a friend of Gid's. Impressed with CK and his drama-management skills. Lovely to see Gid, am so excited about his FCO stuff! Didn't play Scrabble in the end, instead drank cocktails in various places and had a lovely dinner at a place called Balan's, a trendy restaurant on Old Compton St. Very good service, eye candy waiters, great food and drinks, a good buzz around the place. Decided I like going out around there, it's just nice to do a relaxed night out, where no-one's on a mission, there's no fights or drunken louts, just people out for a good time. I love the streets in Soho.

What else? Spent all day yesterday on the TF Conference (the other post will be about that). Sadly missed the Wanstead Flats fireworks last night due to the 5th Anniversary celebrations (TF is 5 years old, yay!) but had a lovely dinner out in Angel with TFers. I love Angel too, I still can't believe it's where my folks first lived when they came to London. Heard from one of the girls yesterday that her boyfriend is doing his PhD in Cardiff and he pays £250 rent a month and lives 15 mins from the centre of the city. Was mightily jealous, vowed to leave London immediately, but upon reflection, I don't mind paying, it's really rather too good to leave just yet.

Have an engagement party to go to tonight. Little brother as my principle drinking buddy. Oh dear. Aaargh still not done my Learning Log....oh well, let's read the paper first...

Round Two

After spending most of last night tossing and turning (not in a fun way), I stood in front of the bathroom mirror this morning and gave myself a little pep-talk. Once again I decided it was time to 'fess up at school and get some support, but as usual, when it comes down to it I can't really declare anything, which means I can't get the time off. Pretty much trapped on that front for now.

Anyway, doesn't matter, Spurs won last night so decided I should just plough my way through school. It was alright.

Particular highlights:

• rolling on a condom on a rubber willy before 9am, and having to explain what self-stimulation was
• hearing that my form had received so many complaints across the school that "serious measures" were to be taken (hahaha, at least I'm not the only one being driven mad there)
• "E" from my tutor group slamming her bag against the wall twice within the space of 10 mins
• my Y10s taking my slightly insane behaviour from yesterday to heart and so behaving today
• my Y7s understanding the concept of negative powers of 10 (crazy stuff, some kids will never get that!)
• my Y9s actually learning in the computer room, despite "M" coming back and causing drama with "T" who had decided that bunking maths to go to random other lessons was no longer feasible
• a kid in detention actually apologising for his behaviour and giving me a lollipop

I made a bit of a mistake today - I mentioned to someone that I wasn't going to stay for next year. Whoops.

Am also cross about the salacious TF gossip that is flying at the moment, you can't trust anyone these days. Hahaha, bit of a contradiction there actually, given that I half bare my soul on here on the regular. But still.