I am a wimp. Officially.
Today is the second day I have wimped out of school, and I have a feeling I will be wimping out for a bit longer too.
It's safe to say I am no longer whirlwindy, and now instead feel wimpy. This isn't too bad though, I am not hiding away too much, and this loose indifference is vaguely liberating. I don't really care that I am a wimp. It's only that other people care that makes it an issue.
Anyway the reason I am a wimp is because this is nowhere near as rough as I have felt before, but I still can't seem to force myself into school. Back last summer I was literally like a zombie but at least I managed to make it in. I guess I am thinking of it as damage limitation, in that I hope a few days off now will stop the full-blown zombie coming back to play.
There is a slight danger of getting entirely wrapped up in this so in search of perspective...
Reasons not to quit school:
1. Letting all the kids down
2. Letting all the staff down
3. Letting TF down
4. Being a quitter is rubbish
5. My references will suffer and then I won't be able to do any of the future stuff
6. My family and friends will think I am a loser
7. It would be too ironic, given the number of people I have persuaded to apply to TF, and how much I rave about the power of teaching
8. It's all in my head and once that is sorted things will be better
Reasons to quit school (in the interests of a balanced argument)
1. Too long hours - reckon I am clocking over 60 hours a week and then am rather too knackered and resentful to do everything else I would want
2. Poor leadership, ethos, and discipline - from the top of the school down, which leads to poor morale and poor teachers
3. Too stressful - the hundreds of daily battles and grinds are exhausting
4. When I don't like my job I really hate it - why waste time in something so arduous?
5. It may be contributing to my doolally.
Hmm so this is a rather honest post. Readers, don't worry, I am ok, I am just writing all this up to get it out, and also for the sake of posterity, so that I actually remember that sometimes I feel like this. See, this is what happens when you never talk about yourself and then suddenly you spill out your life on-line, it makes people worry. I may have to set up an alternate blog for the sakes of all your sanity.
Today is the second day I have wimped out of school, and I have a feeling I will be wimping out for a bit longer too.
It's safe to say I am no longer whirlwindy, and now instead feel wimpy. This isn't too bad though, I am not hiding away too much, and this loose indifference is vaguely liberating. I don't really care that I am a wimp. It's only that other people care that makes it an issue.
Anyway the reason I am a wimp is because this is nowhere near as rough as I have felt before, but I still can't seem to force myself into school. Back last summer I was literally like a zombie but at least I managed to make it in. I guess I am thinking of it as damage limitation, in that I hope a few days off now will stop the full-blown zombie coming back to play.
There is a slight danger of getting entirely wrapped up in this so in search of perspective...
Reasons not to quit school:
1. Letting all the kids down
2. Letting all the staff down
3. Letting TF down
4. Being a quitter is rubbish
5. My references will suffer and then I won't be able to do any of the future stuff
6. My family and friends will think I am a loser
7. It would be too ironic, given the number of people I have persuaded to apply to TF, and how much I rave about the power of teaching
8. It's all in my head and once that is sorted things will be better
Reasons to quit school (in the interests of a balanced argument)
1. Too long hours - reckon I am clocking over 60 hours a week and then am rather too knackered and resentful to do everything else I would want
2. Poor leadership, ethos, and discipline - from the top of the school down, which leads to poor morale and poor teachers
3. Too stressful - the hundreds of daily battles and grinds are exhausting
4. When I don't like my job I really hate it - why waste time in something so arduous?
5. It may be contributing to my doolally.
Hmm so this is a rather honest post. Readers, don't worry, I am ok, I am just writing all this up to get it out, and also for the sake of posterity, so that I actually remember that sometimes I feel like this. See, this is what happens when you never talk about yourself and then suddenly you spill out your life on-line, it makes people worry. I may have to set up an alternate blog for the sakes of all your sanity.
