I am a little concerned. Despite being half in denial and half wary of my own diagnostic abilities, I still think I may be in a queue for a rollercoaster. Yes, this is another new term I have decided to add to my own psycho-babble lingo, even whilst not yet being formally diagnosed. Wonderful.So what do I mean? Well, I have noticed that since seeing another Giraffe on Wednesday, I feel quite a bit better i.e. not zombie at all and far less wimpy (although I am still only listening to classical music). Back in the gym, back playing the piano, back wanting to do things, all that good stuff. However, Giraffe said this good stuff needs to be slowly eased back in and that I need to keep an eye on what I'm doing. So I am, and I can see there could be trouble.
Oh wow, I just got why there are so many Blamange blogs out there, it's all that mood diary stuff and because I figure most people won't actually say this stuff to people.
So indicators of rollercoasters...I am now struggling to sleep, both in the afternoon and at night. My brain is busy planning things and thinking things. Oh I have a great new business idea to do with providing utilities for student housing....like basically getting loads of student houses to sign up with the company, and then using the power of the company to negotiate discounts on gas and electric and phone and broadband etc. Whichever utility companies gave the best offers would be offered the contracts to provide the utilities for all the student house members. Harnessing the force of a big student population to push to lower cost contracts and a nice little slice somewhere for me!
Anyway, back to what I was saying about rollercoasters...I can feel myself getting really annoyed with lots of things, like having to talk about letting agencies, and trying on sari blouses, and people asking me what is wrong. And also distractions...see while I have kinda regained a bit of focus in that I want to do things, I am still not really concentrating. And finally the busyness, I am bringing back the busyness in fantastic style (this is something Giraffe suggested I try not to do but it's in my nature). Things I have taken on since Weds:
1. Trying to negotiate a Deloitte contract (this is a complicated manoeuvre, but I figure I should just be honest and put my cards on the table)
2. Hassling my Learning Associate to get my GS Learning Log sorted (and hassling TF because of it)
3. Working with BITC to sort some meetings at school
4. Working with MyBnk editing some booklets
5. Turning my social schedule back on, and even double-booking myself
So yes, somehow I have decided to go back to normal, except I am concerned that I am not going back to normal, but rather back to whirlwindy, but then I don't know if I should be concerned since I can't really remember what my "normal" state is, if you see what I mean.
Excellent, Giraffe will be pleased with these reflections. Now to make a plan to SLOW THINGS DOWN and get out of the queue for the rollercoaster. Oh and also to use this as an argument against having blamange, in that clearly I am far too insightful for it.
